A Singaporean In Australia

Why do we sleep early in Perth?

Because we can.

Yesterday I made a casual remark about the traffic being more manageable in Perth lately. My accountant was surprised and thought he was the only one who felt that. I told him that wasn't a feeling. Along with the downturn, the economic mercenaries have fled back to the east. They had no love for Perth even the money was here so everyone is happy to see the end of one another. I, for one, am ecstatic. Seriously, I don't give a fuck about the economy. When I was in Singapore, I fervently prayed for the economic downturn that didn't come. So what if we had growth? Did I manage to find a job or get an interview in the entire 2008? Did the good economy do me any good? At least a bad economy quieten things down a bit, so I can sleep better.

During my first visit to Perth, something caught my eye while I was waiting by the car for the rest grabbing something from the shop. A little girl no more than 5 years old was working with a grown man. More specifically, installing a glass panel in a shopfront. The man was probably the little girl's father, from the way he talked to her and pat her head from time to time. The little girl was dressed in a sweet dress and a pair of gumboots, by no means sufficient for protection.

For the entire time I waited, my attention was fully invested in watching the father and young daughter work. The daughter would hold small accessories patiently at a seemingly invisible circle demarcated by her dad not to stray out of. She would then hand the tools or accessories to him whenever he reached for it. I never forget that scene, one I would never witness in Singapore those days and beyond. Little girls should be learning spelling at home, not helping to install a window panel in public area. Blasphemy.

Fast forward a decade later, a boy stood behind a cash register in one of the lesser known vineyards along my area. Besides him, was his grandfather serving his customers and instructing him how to do his part. It isn't what you are thinking. Should it not be during the school holidays, the boy will be in school. It wasn't child labour as well. He looked like he volunteered to be there, for a kid in this iPad age will not last 5 minutes sitting still without getting into a hussy fit, trembling like an addict in a halfway house.

I don't see it as a bad thing for kids to tend a lemonade stand, to help out in a flower booth in a Sunday market or to take orders at the food kiosk. Many of us in Singapore do not even know the harsh realities of the real world until our late 20s, some even later. I don't see how the radical protectionism of our kids is going to teach them the need of self-motivation. Much of our academic results are driven by rewards or threats, which is basically the essence of how the entire country is bring run. Note:- we have to install security cameras in lifts as a warning of possible enforcement should we, the educated citizens of Singapore, pee in a one. Do well, get a prize. Do wrong, you'll get it guys. As such, it is rare to see a Singaporean kid do well in school with the end in the mind, "I am working so hard now because I want to be a doctor." More like, "Else my parents will cancel my phone data plan."

While exposing kids to realities of life early may not necessarily allow them to find their true calling, it certainly help them realise what they don't want to do in the future. Customer service. Be it an "Urgh!" or a "I am good at this," it helps them note their natural strengths and weaknesses early. I don't see how the one-dimensional mode of mugging books can attain holistic development for a child. Well, that's me. 

I have plans to accumulate a collection of potted plants and try selling them off in a Sunday market. I shall bring along the two little ones and let Albany write the labels of each plant one by one as we wait for customers to turn up. If one ever does, we will demonstrate to her how to serve a customer. She will soon realise people are not cut from the same cloth, there are nice and nasties to deal with. She will witness how a potted plant we have painstakingly grown for long periods is exchanged for a measly few coins and understand the value of money. She will get to keep the proceeds and I will note down how she choose to spend it to further understand her nature.

It will be interesting to note if she have the perseverance to hit the markets once again, or if she will help in tending to new plants or leave it to us altogether, how will she delegate tasks to her brother when he is old enough to participate and if she will treat it fairly in sharing the spoils.

With my little construction projects being wrapped up one by one, it is time to develop other important things. Hopefully the first trial can happen before the end of the year.

If you take a drive along streets of Perth, you'll notice the streets are relatively clean. I won't say it is Singapore-clean clean but the difference isn't vast. The obvious difference between the two cities, however, is the number of public dustbins on the streets. In Singapore, there is 1 bin placed in every 30 metres. In Perth, there may be some public dustbin somewhere but I have yet to see a single one throughout all these 5 years. I have yet to see a public cleaner cleaning the streets after the people either. There have to be a few hundred or thousand of them around somewhere keeping streets clean but whatever the figure is, it will be easily dwarfed by the 70,000 cleaners employed in Singapore to keep our 719.1 km² of land clean.

Perth is rather big in comparison, at about 5,386 km². With literally no public dustbins and a fraction of cleaners employed, rubbish should be filling to the brim here - going by Singapore's rate of littering. What littering? I am pretty sure many Singaporeans don't even know what I am talking about. Take a walk under a HDB flat at 3am in the morning and have a hard look to find out. Then imagine the scene if all cleaners in Singapore go on strike for a week. No wonder going on a strike is illegal in Singapore. Take a look after an outdoor event, at the heaps of thrash left behind by participants. 

So why is Perth still being kept rather clean against the odds? How different are the residents of Perth and what special things do they do? The fact is, there isn't something special about Perth. It isn't abnormal, Singapore is. It was reported a couple of years ago that Taipei employs some 5000 cleaners to keep the place clean, 14 times fewer than Singapore. I don't think there is a need for a research to conclude Singaporeans are hardcore litterbugs. What do we expect from a population who cannot even clean their own houses and have to employ a slave maid domestic helper to clean our shit assist in keeping our hygiene level at world class, green-clean standard. I knew people who even claimed their littering habits were keeping the cleaners' jobs, otherwise a massive number of people will be unemployed. I couldn't tell if those were said in jest or not.

After the holiday in Perth where I did the fateful Walk of Desperation, I returned to Singapore and life went on. However, the dustbin issue bothered me to no end. It tells me that Singaporeans do not care about their environment but the roots run much deeper. We are selfish and live only for ourselves yet hypocritical enough not to admit it. It is not limited to caring for the environment but stretches to every crevice of all aspects of Singapore life. We secretly celebrate when our classmates fail the exams, gloat when we buy a new car or get promoted at work but go deep green when nice things happens to the others. The way we backstab one another to climb, the way we hunt for glory. Every god-damned mother fucker and his dog is suddenly related to Joseph Schooling after his gold medal swim but the losers have no friends, quietly forgotten or dishonoured. Everyone is proud to be Singaporean with renewed pride when one among us can swim remarkably fast but no one is ashamed of having to employ 70,000 cleaners to veil our lack of civic mindedness. No one is ashamed of our ruthless driving attitudes, our racism towards the minority races and our treatment towards the weak, the old and the disabled.

Officials called for stronger enforcement to deal with the dipping cleanliness standards in hope of, perhaps, reducing the shocking cleaners headcount for the first time in history. Barking up the wrong tree is what we often call 'pragmatism' in Singapore. That's one thing I really dislike about our problem solving attitude. The easiest solution is often seen as the best solution but is it really so? After 5 decades of nation building, we cannot even educate a population to clean after ourselves like the first world human beings we like to see ourselves as. To reduce cleaning workers yet maintain an acceptable of cleanliness, we need to up enforcement. What a joke.

Enforcement again. No wonder they see us as animals or at best, retarded kids. We need to be round up by a shepherd dog all the time like hapless herds. There are enforcement for parking because we cheat whenever we can. Millions has been invested to automate parking, so that enforcement cost can be reduced with an anti-cheat system in place. We cannot be trusted to buy our own bus fares. So the Transit Link paying system had to be replaced by Ezylink to prevent commuters from paying $0.60 for every bus ride they take.

A friend working in a community charity organisation told me one major reason why criteria are set so strict in order to receive financial assistance is that his clients tend to cheat, taking advantage of the system by getting themselves qualified - on paper - to receive social assistance when they do not need it. Then we read about grown adults arriving in their Mercedes Benz at a book distribution scheme for the needy to jostle with the others for free books.

It comes back to that same chicken and egg question that Patrick and I will usually take opposite sides on. Did the system make the people behave this way or the people make the system because they cannot be trusted? Does the constant limitation of resources cause the people to be selfish, kiasu and mean? Or was the system in place so that people are protected from the undesirable traits commonly found among Singaporeans?

When I showed Angie the open BBQ pits that are free for everyone to use here, she immediately commented that system will never work in Singapore. It will be abused to no end. The users will not clean up after use either, like most of the users of BBQ pits in Perth. Judy told me there if grape vines were to hang freely in vineyards like the way they do it in Perth, there will be nothing left to harvest by the time they ripe. Most of us accept this dog-eat-dog, paper grabbing, money chasing system as a way of life. I don't believe in such things because I saw a place where things are better, people are kinder and have lived here to confirm it.


To me, the definition of a First World country is not about building expensive skyscrapers, introducing sophisticated technologies, paying obscene money to maintain a beautiful and clean facade and banning discussions about race on the pretext of racial harmony. Instead, it is the quality of the people that defines a respectable civilisation.

Ok. I told her. Not that keen, really.

On the way out after I picked Albany from school, the burly school gardener asked me, "Are you coming tonight?"

Slightly taken aback, I brightened up and said, "Oh... yeah, we are coming."

It was kind of a bigger deal than I initially thought, judging by the turnout of parents. By 5.30pm, parents were comfortably seated, Aussie Style, in their picnic & BBQ set up. Camp chairs, foldies, mat and all. Needless to say, twenty steps behind us were a BBQ man churning out sausage sizzles. It was then I realised the performance we were going to watch was not some elite choir team, specially picked for the event, but by every single kid in that school. That meant I got to see my daughter sing Christmas carols with her classmates. Suddenly, I felt excited about the event.

Well.

I hate to bring up bad times and I apologise because I have to. Say what you like about Singapore's education. Best in the world or whatever. I don't fucking care. Needless to say I certainly do not feel my kids are going to miss out on the God's gift by not sending them to study in Singapore. If there is to be an event like that in a Singapore school, parents will get to see the best of the school in every aspect. The entrance, the sound systems, manicured plants specially brought in, elaborate decorations, indoor seats arranged neatly. Only the best of the best kids perform one of those they would have rehearsed hundred of times before. Everything had to be inch perfect, way better than the actual, usual going-ons in school.

That is what I seriously hate about Singapore - putting on a facade. It starts from young, of course. I'm sure if you are Singaporean, you will feel there is nothing wrong about putting on your best on a day that matters. I don't blame you and I don't expect you to agree with me. It is called brainwashed for a reason.

In the army back in my days, parents were encourage to visit the camps on Enlistment Day. Bunks looked super clean, probably triple cleaned by the previous batch of botak recruits on 7 extras. Smiley sergeants greeted parents with perfect English and smiled at your girlfriends. The cook house served food that looked something you would get in Jack's Place. After the parents left, I remembered thinking, "Get on with this shit," the moment our platoon sergeant relieved his tight facial muscles and turn his fake grin to his natural snarl. Why do we want to be fake as fuck? Is there something so shameful in the shadows that we cannot face one another?

In a school event like that, I do not expect perfection. I just wanted to see things in a setting as natural as possible. I want to see how my child interacts with her teachers and classmates, not a programming code on beta testing. Or worse, not being about to watch her just because she wasn't among the best the school could offer. Seriously, why would I give a damn about the best kids anyway? In fact, I would like to see how the school actually treats the worst. The teachers probably wished they could lock them up in the school garden shed or the longhouse toilet if the option is legally available. No surprise on the country level, you will see how the elites are glorified and the weakest, buried from reality. 

With rain threatening to come pouring, the school Principal did his speech. Nothing grand and fanciful. No speech notes and robotic recital. It was short and sweet, just the way it should be.


The kids began to sing. The opener was nicely done by older children. It wasn't a professional performance. In fact, it was slightly out of sync at times. What I was impressed with was the kids did not look nervous at all, despite how obvious they were under-rehearsed, in "Singapore's standard." The better thing was, they genuinely enjoyed doing it. Standing at the side of the main crowd, I managed to observe the parents. I couldn't pick up anyone texting on their phones, talking to someone or being on the phone settling "more important" things at work. The parents were genuinely attentive, interested and very supportive. Every performance was met with a rousing applause, especially the Kindy class, where Albany was in. Their performance was chaotic, fun and beautiful to watch. Nothing like watching machine cogs spinning the way I was accustomed to in my growing environment. 

By the end of the performance, parents were encouraged to grab their Kindy kids so that they would enjoy the rest of the show better and "So will we." I laughed at that, along with the crowd. I didn't know I would end up actually enjoying the event I really wanted to avoid going.

I know the Australian education system is weak, as compared to some of the countries producing top students, like Singapore. They have been harping on that. There are even talks of adopting Singapore's Way, much to my horror. Shouldn't they focus on constructing more tall buildings first, so that the children have good locations to jump from? Australians do not know their priorities. Yes - I know academic excellence here is far behind but I hope the schools do not turn myopic turn their focus solely on it. I've seen how my child interact with Judy's kids with ease, despite their big age gap. She looks forward to going to school everyday and is keen to learn. At this age, it isn't right to grind them. It is a wonder how we think child labour is wrong but grinding them with school work to late hours is right.

At the end of the day, good grades and all, are nothing but facade. When it is time to apply what we learnt and do the deed, the Singaporean young adult say they have "returned to the teacher," whereas their Australian counterpart do it. Without rehearsals, we are lost sheep. Best education in the world? I'll pass.

After living in Perth for 5 years, one thing never changed. Singapore will always have a special place in my heart. I feel bad though, because Perth has treated me rather well. To illustrate, after my last post, a petrol kiosk I drove past dropped their fuel to $0.0, free for me, as if to show me what they meant by REAL service. That was awfully amazing, I have to say I was almost swayed. Unfortunately, there was still no attendant assigned at the station to fill up for me. You know, like how they do it in Singapore, by giving our elderly the chance to exercise. When one of the uncles called out to me cheerfully and asked, "What you want to pump, Sir?" I felt upper class. Singapore just have the knack to make us feel at home.

Now that reminds me, I can't fathom why the folks employed to clear our plates in the Perth foodcourts are young and fit people. Our great leader PM Lee said Singaporeans are unwilling to take up such jobs in Singapore. As such, those vocations have been outsourced to either foreign workers or the PA Fit Club for the elderly. With a population of just 1.8 million in Perth, it is a shocker that I still see some of the local Aussies taking up these jobs. It doesn't make sense. It can only mean one thing, Australia is not as First World as Singapore. 

To comfort ourselves, Singaporeans in Perth tend to seek solace in the comfort of their houses. The common 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a double garage sitting on 450 sqm of freehold land on the median price of $500,000 seems more than adequate to mend the morale. Alas, after finding out this kind of money was only used to build a bin centre in Singapore, smaller than the garage where I park my satki Honda Jazz, I just can't feel upper class here anymore. I am contemplating moving back to live in a more expensive DBSS or EC to get the vibes back.

Winter days in Perth have been challenging. We have frost for a couple of mornings and thick fog occasionally. I debated with myself which is the greater evil. The fog in Perth and haze in Singapore. In the end, I tipped it towards the fog because for haze, I could wear a mask and pretend I cannot respond when strangers in Perth start chatting me up again. If only we have that annual haze festival in Perth. Oh well, I can't expect anywhere else to be perfect like Singapore. It is a paradise after all. Perth comes close, but not quite.

Spring is coming soon. I told Judy I would take her to view wildflower fields growing in the ... hmm ... wild. You know, those acres of land with no end in sight full of flowers. Down at Serpentine, you have a natural waterfall. Further down south, you have a Red Tingle tree forest, that holds giant vintage trees, one at 24 metres, the largest, living, girthed eucalypt known in the world. These will be fantastic to explore in early Spring, where the day temperature will be in low 20s and lots and lots more. Before I got carried away, Judy reminded me there is the billion dollar garden that has giant trees, flowers all over, an indoor waterfall all in a comfortable air conditioner setting. It costs only 1 billion dollars to built that but since it is a one-stop-for-all, Gardens by the Bay is well worth it. That way, Singaporeans can experience Perth without boarding a plane. Brilliant!

My friend Faruk told me he felt more racism during his days in Singapore than Melbourne, where he is living now. How is that possible? I wonder what Faruk have been smoking. Just the other day, the courier driver I met exclaimed, "Your English is really good mate! Where are you from?" So racist. Can't a non-white be decent at speaking English? Last week my Aussie neighbour knocked on my door with a wide grin and introduced himself. He told me he was sweeping up sand on the street abutting our houses and offered to sweep the sand on my side too. So racist. Did he think I was a sick man of south-east Asia? I told him I would join him to clean the street up to challenge his white superiority. I ended the clear winner with 3 wheelbarrows to 1. Take that. Now who is the hard Yakka, mate? Back in Singapore, I never feel any racism before as a Chinese and we have racial harmony day in schools.

Ever since the AUD began to fall, I haven't slept well for months. At this rate, I won't even be able to afford to send my parents to JB when the time comes. Since Marilyn is stuck in Singapore, I have to eat out and boy, the meals in Perth are bloody expensive! Gone were the good ol' days where I could sing my favourite national day song Count Money, Singapore. That feeling when the cute Indian girl in front turned around when I belted out the "Count money to buy the best of all!" part was unforgettable. She looked kinda annoyed, I still wonder why. 

Oddly enough, the Aussie blokes never panic about anything. "No worries, mate!" they said. Really? Not even when more Singaporeans are flooding into Australia every year? The nerve. They wear the same kind of work wear everyday and don't give a shit about what bling watch I wear or the brand of my shoes. They bring their lunch boxes to work and wolf it up during the 30 minutes lunch break, work hard and knock off on the dot. They don't give a shit how much my daughter scored in her Mathematics exams too, because there are no exams in Primary Schools here. I almost feel absolutely no pressure to keep up with the Jones here but as a Singaporean, I have to make sure the spurs are continuously stuck into my hide so as not to let my countrymen and our founding father down. I love these Aussie blokes but business is business mate.

Last week, the HR manager came up to me and told me, "Hey, you've gotta clear up some leave y'know." Talking about that, during my job interview I was told by my boss I was entitled "1 month's annual leave." Needless to say, I was delighted. So, imagine how cheated I felt when I found out it actually meant 20 days of annual leave instead of 30 days because "I only work 20 days a month." That was pure dishonesty. Also, I was told that sick leave is termed "personal leave" here. We can take personal leave as sick leave, as well as attending to other family related reasons, such as taking kids to the doctor, accompanying the wife to the gynae or taking her car to the mechanic. My company told me we are not required to produce an MC for a 1 day sickie. Some companies are okay with no MC for 2 days. That sounds okay to me, until I found that we are only given 10 days of personal leave. Compared to 14 days of sick leave in Singapore, that is robbery!

A few years ago, my friend Grace, who is a nurse, bid me goodbye before she went on a long holiday. I asked her, "How the heck can you go away for an entire month?" She told me it was her long service award and explained to me under the Long Service Leave Act in WA, an employee working in the same business for 10 years of continuous employment will be entitled 8 weeks paid leave. For every 5 years of continuous employment working in the same business after the initial 10 years, she will be entitled 4 paid leave. All these are too confusing to me. I prefer the down-to-earth approach in Singapore of 14 days AL and 14 days MC, never mind how often it took me more than 2 hours in a polyclinic to get my MC, leaving me just half a day to nurse that raging fever. They were already nagging at me to clear my annual leave, imagine the noise if I make it to long service leave. I don't just need a mask, get me some ear plugs too.

When I was unemployed for 8 months in Singapore, I sat along Clarke Quay one day watching the Singapore River. The river was constantly flowing and reflected the morning sun beautifully back at me. I wondered if I would ever find something better than that. The Swan River of Perth is a long one that divides Perth by the north and south, leading to the Indian Ocean at the mouth. According to Patrick who jogs along the river in his earlier years here, dolphins can be spotted swimming along as he jogs and gave full praise. Oh come on, we can see dolphins at the amazing Universal Studios in Singapore, captive and available any time. Nobody has time to wait for random dolphins wading by. Besides, I have yet to see a single tourist boat or Duck Ride along Swan River. It is breathtakingly peaceful but where is the vibrancy? You know, the waving tourists used to cheer me up a little during my unemployment in Singapore. They should spend 3 million dollars to rename Singapore River as The River of Hope.


Perth gives me weird vibes and that begins on television. Where are the weight-loss or hair growth advertisements? I've yet to see a single one in 5 years. Where are the bright kids who scored 298 for PSLE after drinking some chicken essence introduced to every Singaporean in the bus stops? As I learn about Perth, I found more shocking facts about the people here. When they buy their cars, boats, outdoor pizza stoves, they do not post pictures on Facebook! If people do not worry about their appearance, brag about their kids and material gains to friends, how do you feel the prosperity and progress of our society? All they have left is happiness, which is just not good enough.

With my life expectancy projected by the Singapore government, I should be still alive by the time we celebrate SG100. I wouldn't miss that for anything. In fact, I will be spending the next 49 years in Perth creating 100 handcrafted limited edition SG100 tissue paper so that I can bring them along with me, with my DIY wheelchair built with the tools I got from Bunnings. I'll be careful to set aside the nominal fee of $866.00 (corrected for 49 years of inflation) for my annual licence to sell tissue paper on the street. 

I know exactly where I would like to peddle my exquisite SG100 tissue paper - at the River of Hope, where the river always flow.

I am a living Singaporean in Perth. There you are, getting all ready to celebrate SG51 back home. That makes me miss home so much. Home, like they say, is the sweetest. Especially when I have a home like Singapore, where the river always flow and the place I won't be alone. I miss strangers rubbing shoulders with me virtually every second once I get out from my cosy HDB flat, which I spent $50,000 on renovations but none of my friends were too keen to visit me as often as I prefer, much to my annoyance. 

In Perth, I hardly see anyone out there. And when I do, they greet me most of the time. Yes strangers! Doing that to me. How creepy. It is tiring how I have to analyse their agendas that I have yet to find. I wish they will leave me alone. I don't have the chance to display my Singaporean graciousness by giving up seats in the morning train because there are enough for everyone. When there isn't, someone will do it faster than me. Damn these Aussies, aren't they supposed to be slow and slack?

Unlike life in Singapore, I have to do everything myself here. How hateful. How can they call themselves a "first world" where we virtually have no access to a full time, live-in slave maid helper. A day time helper will have cost me a bomb, much less a stay-in one. I miss Marilyn. I wish I can bring her over to Perth, to cook, clean and take care of my kids for me. Like the good ol' days in Singapore. Or even better, I can tell her she don't even need the off day each month here, since there are not much humans to meet up with. She can help me tend to my garden during her off day. I can't understand why Australia must implement the minimum wage laws. Like what PM Lee said, minimum wage hurts the economy. Look how Australia is suffering now and people like me are suffering too. If there is no way I can hire someone for $450 a month here, how can I feel upper class?

One of the things that is starting irk me is car ownership. I have a Honda Jazz that I bought for $3900 at 110k mileage. I thought it looked great when I bought it and it runs really well. I used to drive a Renault Kangoo in Singapore and thought a Honda Jazz would be a decent upgrade. Oppa upper class now, bro! Unfortunately, all the Singaporeans I met drive better cars than me. ALL of them. One of them, Micky of Southern River, just came over last weekend and showed me his brand new Subaru Outback. My neighbour Patrick and Stephen Thng of Aubin Grove both drive brand new Volkswagen Golfs, which they paid 6 times more than my car. Thus, nobody gives a shit about my Honda Jazz. To make things worse, we are not required to scrap them by their 10th year. So those cars will be ours to keep for life, if they last that long. I sure hope my friends' car don't. Imagine the lifetime humiliation I have to suffer.

I hate the fact I have to fuel up on my own at petrol kiosk. There are no attendants to do it for me like how it was in Singapore. Not a single kiosk in Perth understands customer service. Never mind the last tank I filled with unleaded 95 was $1.01/L. I rather pay $1.90/L for real service.

Perth's less haste, more speed situation on the highway is hazardous. Driving at a constant 100km/h to work every morning is dangerous. One mistake and I will never be able to return home to Stand Up for Singapore. I miss the days when we were travelling at 30km/h on the AYE. It was an every day business to honk at each other, our own endearing way to acknowledge one another for being upper class. Look at the atmosphere on the MRT every morning. Everyone looks like a dead man walking, except for the days when the Transport Minister decided to take the train. The Minister set a good example and lifts morale like a shiny beacon but common Singaporeans just cannot emulate that when the Minister stops taking train the next day. Classic meritocracy in action. We have to keep working hard and we will get there.

The education system here is dire. Most of the public schools have only 2 classes per level. There are not morning assembly like how we do it in Singapore, to fortify our national pride by having the discipline master make us sing the Nation Anthem until we did it loud enough. Schools here, in contrast, feel sparse and cold. It feels so quiet that I don't even know it is a school day. Damn. That can get me fined for driving more than 40km/h along school zones. As I mentioned earlier, it is dangerous to drive in Perth. As long as you live within the school zones of public schools, they have to create a class for your kids if their current classes are full. Without the balloting process we do to get our kids into schools in Singapore, it feels so empty when we get enrolled. The other parents are almost zombie-like, with the bo chup attitude. In all fairness, I cannot blame them. The euphoria and adrenaline rush that the balloting system brings is missing.

One thing I can never get over with is that the Aussies make their kids go to bed at 7.30pm! Even on television programs, they play "Good night! See you in the morning!" skits at 7pm everyday to convenience the parents to shoo their kids to bed. Incredulous. How can kids learn anything by sleeping so early? Don't they have homework to do? It is no wonder our education system is far superior than the Australian one. Our children are far ahead because we work our kids overtime every day, preparing them for the real working world out there, where it is common to work more than 12 hours a day. Aussie kids are in for a shocker when they start to work. Hmm. Come to think of it, we don't work overtime here and knock off on time nearly all the time. Perhaps not.

Without Marilyn, it is impossible to keep our houses here spick and span. I don't understand why Singaporeans are so obsessed with landed properties. For the price of a 5 room flat in Sinapore, we get a good size freehold landed property here. It feels good for a day until I realise the amount of gardening, weeding and cleaning I have to do. It is atrocious. It is far easier to pay conservancy rates and get our foreign workers to sweep up the corridor of our HDB flats. No hussy fussy. The easy access to a double garage where I park my satki Honda Jazz makes me put on weight. Yeah, on the bright side, I enjoy free parking here but I would rather pay $120 a month to park my car on the top level of my MSCP so that I get my daily exercise by walking up many flights of stairs to the top. The morning exercise used to wake my mind up and kept me sharp for the day. The reason why my car was parked at the top was that there were no parking lots by the time I got back from work, which worked well for me.

I kinda miss those iconic ERP gantries along any route I chose to go to work. Yeah, I don't enjoy paying fees but that is the only way to filter out the pretenders. Making it expensive will weed out the undeserving car owners in Singapore. I will vote for ERP gantries in Perth if I have the chance. That will also slow the cars down a little, which makes the roads safer, since we tend to do that when we ensure our cashcard is firmly slotted in.

Perth will never feel like home because of the four seasons we have to deal with through the year. Singapore offers security and stability in every sense. Our government makes sure of that. Their prowess probably ensure we have a consistent climate throughout the year too. We have sunny, rainy and fear. It is predictable and safe unlike in Perth. Just a couple of weeks ago, we experienced the coldest day in 4 years at 0.7°C in the wee hours. In Autumn, we have low 20s in the afternoon. The only time I can make use of my expensive air conditioner to cool the house is that miserable 3 months of Summer, when it feels more like home.

The sky is blue all the time here. There is not much variation. Pretty cool ocean with clear panoramic views and not a single ship in the horizon but there are sharks. At least I wouldn't lose a leg by wading through the murky waters along Singapore coastline. There are so many unknown beaches where I found myself having an entire white beach for myself here. Where is the vibrancy? Why aren't they attracting tourists to litter the place so that more jobs can be created? 

I can't imagine why there are BBQ pits in almost every park in Perth, free for the public to use. No bookings are required because, perhaps, of the very low population density. That may be why Singaporeans find Perth boring. You can never get the same vibrancy and vibes of a world class city like Singapore without human beings. Why are the BBQ pits free to use? Is that where my high tax goes to? Free medical, family tax benefits, societal safety nets, countless of National Parks, open spaces and BBQ pits?

The other day when I reached home at 4pm from work, I thought it was a little early to brood in the house. So I took a short walk around my neighbourhood and passed by one of the small construction sites, where workers were laying bricks to build a house. "Hey mate!" called out one of the dudes. Damn, can't they leave me alone? "Hiya mate, not knocking off soon?" I replied.

"Yeah, right now, it's Friiiiidaaay!!!" he exclaimed, with fist raised to the sky. So drama.

Told ya, strangers talking to strangers anytime, anywhere. Oddity.

This is why Perth will never feel like home, where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flows. In Perth, I don't need dreams waiting for me. I am living them.

Hi Nix,

I would like to thank you for sharing your thoughts on your blog. Your comments had trigger my own thinking on various issues from different perspectives. 

I am a beginning teacher in Singapore. In a couple of your posts, your guest blogger and yourself had shared that there are difference in the Singapore and Australia’s Education system, result oriented versus process oriented in the latter. Your also mentioned that there are quite a few ex-teachers in Perth and you have met some Sg teachers considering to migrate to Australia.

I would like know more about the Australia schools as a workplace. Will you/your contacts who have experience working in both Singapore and Australian schools be able to kindly share their thoughts?

Thank you for spending time to attend to this request. I look forward to read your posts.

Regards,

Vanessa

Hi 'cher.

Perhaps I can share what little I know about Perth schools. I'll like to emphasize Perth, because Australia is just too big to generalise. Unlike the template stamped fashion of neighborhood schools and food court stalls across Singapore, public schools in just Perth alone are run differently among themselves and school culture can vary quite significantly too. Thus, this is not an easy question to answer specifically.

However I can highlight some key differences in general.

Teacher abuse

In Singapore schools, parents are clients. In Perth schools, parents are partners. Small difference, but it creates a butterfly effect on almost every aspect of a teacher's career and working experience. In Perth, professionals are given proper respect. For example in hospitals, there is a strict "No abuse" policy to protect hospital staff from the public. Any patient, visitor or external workers who abuse a staff in the hospital will be shown the door by the security. The customer is not always right.

I would imagine the same respect given to teachers in Perth, at least from my observation. Teachers here may not necessarily agree with me but if we are comparing to the level of respect given to teachers in Singapore, there is a stark contrast. In Singapore, the chances of you getting parents coming up demanding, interrogating and even threatening you is not exactly low. Perhaps, even almost an everyday affair for some. If you are unlucky enough, you get your unflattering photograph posted all over the Internet for putting a nice hair clip on the boy with long hair.

There is plenty of regular communication between parents and teachers here. Feedback is encouraged from both parties. It helps to foster a good relationship in a small community setting.

Holiday, with no fine prints

When you are teaching in a school in Perth, you go for your two weeks or a month school holiday with the children. It is an entitlement. The teachers do not stay back for CCAs (CCA for ghosts?) or whatever extra or special services required by the principal in schools in Singapore.

Classroom size

According to this publication [link] in 2014, the average classroom size in WA are as follow;

I'm not sure what are the classroom size in Singapore these days. So you do the comparison, Venessa. On top of that, there are nearly 800 public schools in WA to cater to Perth's 1.8 million population. Thus, schools are generally small. There are usually 2 classes per level. Schools with 3 classes per level is already considered big here. 

The teaching teacher teach

One of the key difference between teaching in both countries are the administration work given to teachers. You will not be expected to head multiple committees, CCAs and what nots. Other minor day-to-day administration work such as collection of money from students, food or logistic matters etc. will be handled by school staff. In a nutshell, you are doing what a teacher should be doing, teaching with minimal distractions. It is not a monkey hunting, talent contest freak show here.

Working hours

Teachers knock off at 3.30-4pm on most days unless something crops up.

Meetings

It varies from school to school but in general they are kept to the minimum and short. 1 meeting per week no longer than 30 mins each session is normal.

Other perks of being small

Some may not see this as an advantage. You know, there are an unbelievably large number of Singaporeans who think Perth is 'boring'. So I am not going to be surprised if teachers in Singapore love the fanfare and hippy hype surrounding their fancy school. 

Speech day is a grand affair for even the simplest of school in Singapore. You get performances, percussion and parade. For the branded schools, you even get a wedding dinner after the children happily leave early where the teaching staff mingles with the men-in-white guests of honour attending, reminding the school that the marriage between politics and education must always be strong.

In Perth schools, we call it the Founders Day. Celebrations can be a simple sausage sizzle. A school celebrating their 125th anniversary [link] two years ago by simply sharing a birthday cake and spent the afternoon playing games. Granted the example was a regional school, there is no significant differences for schools in Perth metropolitan.

A close friend of mine revealed that the school principal where her son is enrolled remembers the name of every child in his school.

I've shared my limited knowledge on this with you. Hope the information will go a long way.

Good luck

asingaporeanson

Hi Daniel,

Congratulations on your job offer.

I am not sure what you hope to hear from me. Since you did not reveal some details about your work, I'll have to assume your accommodation in Singapore is either provided for, like what many expats in Singapore enjoy, or included in a fatter remuneration package. In that case, there is your reason #1 to work in Singapore.

Reason #1 - Fatten your pocket

If you are not receiving more money than your current job in Australia, save yourself the trouble. Else, buy a bigger wallet and bring it along with you. Just take note that if you are being taxed by the Singapore government, you can apply for a foreign income tax offset. Make sure you keep all the relevant documents (your SG tax statements) to show it to the ATO to claim their relief.

Reason #2 - Have a taste of the Singapore pace

Since you are born Singaporean, you should be born with the genes to grasp the concepts of being "Cheaper, better and faster." Whether you like it or not is another thing altogether. If it isn't your cup of tea, there is always home to return to. If you enjoy the dynamism of Singapore, consider giving up your Australian citizenship for a Singapore one. After all, we clear our rubbish everyday, not once a week. Isn't that great?

Reason #3 - You reap without sowing

Unlike Singaporean sons like me, you get to enjoy and benefit from our vibrant economy without the need to do National Service. How you should feel about that? Great. So go with a smile.

Reason #4 - You will be treated as a "Firster Class" citizen

Many Singaporeans do not like the idea of moving to Australia because we feel that we will be treated like "2nd class" citizens. However, it is a fact that we treat our expats firster than our first class citizens. Hard truth for us, happy days for you.

Reason #5 - Singapore is damn safe

Our country is so safe that unlike the undesirable suburbs in Australia, you will feel at ease to walk through our streets naked without getting your manhood snipped off or robbed more naked than you already are. Just for your information, the lady in the picture is a Singaporean. She was heavily ostracized by our media and people for days but little was mentioned about her nice foreign friend who apparently, was also reported to be "morally supported" by the Swedish embassy in Singapore. [link]

Never forget these two rules:

1) Do whatever you want but don't get caught (we learnt it in NS and you didn't so there, your crash course)

2) You can get away with insulting anyone in social media as long as the General Election is not looming. (It is at the moment, so please take it easy mate)

Reason #6 - Shop till you drop

This may or may not be relevant to your lifestyle, depending which Australian state you come from. However, you can always change your living habits because we have late night shopping. According to the locals, this is God's gift to Singapore and one of the prime reasons why Singapore kicks everyone's ass. Despite Singapore being ranked the World Most Expensive City 2 years running, everything is supposed to be cheaper, including hookers. You'll find out.

Reason #7 - Eat till you are round

My elders are of Chinese ethnics. They used to tell me, “一个人一生吃多少是注定的” (the amount of food you can eat for a lifetime is a preset), it is a phrase commonly used to describe the limitations of a man's effort to surpass his fate. Many people swear that cooked food in Singapore is much cheaper than in Australia. I firmly reject this notion and I will prove it one day, when I have nothing better to do.  It is much more convenient to get cooked food within anywhere you live. That, I agree, no doubt about it. You also get access to restaurant set up by Michelin stared chefs. Anyway, you are in full control to pig yourself out everyday if you work in Singapore. Your destiny is in your own hands this time.

Reason #8 - No natural disaster

You may have never experienced a cyclone in your lifetime in Australia, or faced a bush fire that directly threatened your life, but never forget you grow up in the most dangerous country in the world, where everything is created to kill you - to outsiders at least. Singapore, on the other side of this aspect, is paradise. Just don't assume you can take a dip in any water you see , unless you relish a visit to the dermatologist. Take note that it is not recommended to take deep breaths during the months when our friendly southern neighbour hold their large scale BBQ festivals. Also, get yourself some ear plugs and a eye mask if you are a light sleeper because noise is harmlessly loud and our rooms are illuminated by street lights throughout the nights. Sure you can draw the blinds, then you have to be contented sleeping under an air conditioned environment every night. It's alright if you don't sleep or breathe well because there is no natural disasters in Singapore to harm you, unlike fucking Australia.

Reason #9 - Singapore is an equal society

Singapore is a fair and equal society that respects each and every individual, be it the gifted or the handicapped. That is despite the fact that our late founding father, Mr Lee Kuan Yew never believed in equality. 

“The human being is an unequal creature. That is a fact. And we start off with the proposition. All the great religions, all the great movements, all the great political ideology, say let us make the human being as equal as possible. In fact, he is not equal, never will be.”

– Lee Kuan Yew, from a speech during the 1960s, Success Stories

Yet we are equal.

“I am an educated, independent woman of a minority race, in a country that embraces and respects each of its citizens equally. Such is the country that Mr Lee built. How could I ever leave this place?”

This is just one of the miracles left behind by our Father as his legacy. As a foreigner, you can be assured that you will receive lots of equality.

Singaporean mum, M sent me a link about how the Australian education system is failing our kids. And so it begins ..... again. 

The education system is failing our kids. Really? That's a nice change from our kids failing the education system. Too often, I found other Singaporean parents mocking or even sneering at the Australian education system, citing how "low standard" it is as compared to Singapore's education system, that is "streets ahead." It takes a lot of humor to laugh at a country that produced 15 Nobel Prize Winners and 138 Olympic Gold Medals when all Singapore has to show is a big fat zero. If our education system produces capable people, why are the majority of our business headed by a foreigner? And I thought Singaporean parents are result oriented.

From a Singaporean parent's perspective, how do we view a Time Trial prior to a Formula One race? The fight for pole position, just like how our kids fight to be the Top Student of their cohort in examination halls. My friend Patrick has his own point of view. He told me to observe how top Formula One drivers conduct their time trial. Often, drivers can clock awful timings. We can put that down as the familiarization process of the race track. We are not wrong but there is something else to it. The time trial is a golden opportunity for a driver to test limits. For example, how fast they can go before they'll kiss the barriers or how sharp their cars can turn at a particular bend. More often than not, they stuff up and clock uninspirational timings in their laps and they don't appear to care because their priority is learn everything they can about the terrain and how they can assert themselves according to their strengths when the real race starts.

Patrick's perspectives changed my perspective of education. A pole position is undeniably an advantage but it is hardly a deciding factor of the winner in a Formula One race. To perform well, you need a good team, a good car, good skills and most importantly, a full understanding of the track you are racing in. Like the example above, the real race is out in the wild world after our graduation from schools. Even if you are given a good car, how will you perform if you have whiny parents as your team and full of theories in your head that have no clue how to implement? Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to imply it is possible for a last placed driver in a time trial to win the race. Our aptitude and development varies individually over time. The point is that even a last placed driver can finish a race ten placings better than his time trial. 

In my opinion, the purpose of education is to learn to learn. This does not resonate with a system that feeds the brilliant and buries the weak. In contrast, the Australian system allows children to learn at their own pace centered around discovery rather than grinding. It may be true that a primary school pupil in Australia is a few years behind Singapore in solving mathematics or science questions. However, students here grow up to be more holistically developed, diverse, confident and knowledgeable to take on the demands of the working world.

******

I was slapped with a fine and 2 demerit points exceeding 10km/h in a 40km/h school zone last year. Before that I was unaware how the school zone worked. For the benefit of the noobs who are new to the Australia, I'll explain the school zone to my understanding. School zones are demarcated near the roads typically abutting the perimeters of the school. It can typically range from as short as 100m to as long as 2km. At these school zones, law abiding drivers will reduce their speed significantly through the zone, like how KFC inspect our guard-of-honours during the National Day Parade. That explains why some Singaporeans, if you wondered why, may have the inclination to wind down the window and wave idiotically at pedestrians as we turtled by.

The fine was caused me some grief but I wasn't bitter about it. As a parent, I like the idea that community insist on an inconvenience to ensure the safety of the children. It is a common sight that crossings along school zones are manned with a mature or even elderly man or woman. Singaporeans will probably put it down as a job that no one wants to do, since we are so comfortable in handling these sai kang to our elderly in Singapore.

My feel though, about putting a mature one at a crossing here was a strategic practice, since most (appears to me) respect their elderly here and may be more willing to be instructed by one. If things get ugly, uncle or auntie can probably screw the punk off by going, "When Limpeh/Laoniang was young.... " Come to think of it, I have no idea how much these folks are paid, if any at all. Most of them might be just volunteers - because the retirees can afford to retire. Let me know if you know I am wrong. I love being proven wrong.

one of those

Since this is the Month of Libra, I will dedicate this series to two good people I know, one having her birthday today and the other, will be celebrating his first birthday as a father tomorrow.

Happy birthday, old farts. And I love both of you.

I have never tried doing a straight comparison between Australia and Singapore through these 2 years because it is simply impossible to do an objective one based on the perspectives of a single man, so it brings little value to anyone who cannot related to my personal preferences. That means my own endeavour can be entirely different from the other Singaporean. Having said that, I'll try to keep subjectivity down to the minimum. A point to note, I have never traveled or worked in any parts of Australia except for Perth. So any information provided may not be a good representation of the whole Australia, the weather for example. If there are any comparisons that I missed out but you are interested in, leave a comment and I will do one. Eventually I will compile the comparisons on a single page with summaries and links to the main articles.

Weather