A Singaporean In Australia

Showing posts with label Random thoughts. Show all posts

I was invited to take a seat at the veranda. There was home-made cakes on the table and I was asked if I could like a cup of coffee or tea. Sean, the real estate agent looked like he was an old family friend, chatting with the owners of the property as if they had known for ages.

Neil, the owner's son was telling me about the property with genuine passion. He seemed like the real real estate agent and was doing a better job. I told my audience I had 30 questions for them and they gasped. I assured them it wasn't that bad.

"I went to another property with 60 questions," I revealed. They responded with rattles of laughter. "Besides," I continued, "I have the answers to about 10 of these, so we have only 20 to go."

The owner was silent throughout our conversations. After introducing himself, he sat with us throughout without saying a word. The quiet, unassuming man was Robert David. He came to Perth from India 50 years ago. According to his wife, Perth had "nothing" back then. That matched what Lynus Martin, who came to Perth 30 years ago, said of Perth. Coincidentally, Singaporean tourists still said the same thing up to this day about Perth's nothingness and return to show their ignorance to their friends by telling them Perth was boring.

According to Neil, their family visited more than 50 properties before falling in love with the property they ended up buying and staying for 30 years, where the family of 8 grew up and grew old together. Both his parents worked their socks off, working 2 jobs each to pay for their 15 acres and brought up all 5 kids. The land held a lot of fond memories for the family. The animals roaming freely, the plentiful fruit trees that used to be there, the fishing, gutting and cooking straightaway for dinners, the countless parties held in the open area....

On Robert David's book, he described himself as an engineer, accountant, musician and short story writer at the back of the book. He told me he had written many books. When he handed me a copy of his booked titled, "A land I once call home" it did not look anything like a short story. It was a massive book that would take me weeks to finish. After he autographed the book for me, I hold it against my chest and thanked him.

You know, when I saw the book title, I thought I could write a book with the same title too. My primary school friend, Inshera kept asking me to write a book a few months back. She had since migrated to NZ and never looked back since. Incidentally she stopped bugging me about the book too but the seed she planted in my mind remained dormant. Me, Sg uneducated beng, write book? Even my mum will laugh if she knows. heh heh.

Ok, any pre-orders?

Having stayed with us for almost a whole year, Judy declared that her favourite season in Perth was Spring. She loved the feeling of flowers blooming everywhere and the relatively cool weather. True enough, traditionally Spring symbolises life and a beginning. The Chinese celebrates the coming of Spring. The Chinese New Year begins with Spring. You'll notice a lot of CNY songs are based on praises of Spring and bountiful harvests. That is because traditionally Spring and Summer are the seasons of growth and harvest.

Far, far away in Singapore, we celebrate CNY with the same gusto. However, it has little to do with Spring. In fact, I wonder if Singaporean Chinese of this generation really know what they are celebrating about. Harvesting is only for businesses busily convincing Singaporeans that Bak Kwa, $1688 reunion dinner packages, salad with thin fish slices and other whatnots at hyper-inflated prices are for the satki people. For the rest of the peasants who do not indulge lavishly will be cursed with eternal poverty. Therefore, no one dares not to save up the money they carefully put aside the previous year and becomes poorer for it. How ironic.

To me, Spring has no significance in Singapore simply because we do not encounter Spring. The only springs I know is the flaccid hot spring in Sembawang and those hidden in the mattresses that are discarded illegally at the void decks during "Spring Cleaning". Spring in Perth is a little cuter. At least there is Spring time here. To me, it was an excuse for insects to emerge from their hibernation. Before too long, the dreaded Summer heat will be upon us. Of course, if I am a farmer, I will sing a different tune. At the moment, I'm not so... no, I don't really enjoy Spring despite the sights of beautiful blooming flowers. Well I like Autumn. If Spring symbolises life then Autumn shall represent death. Many find it depressing because things are dying off everywhere. I don't see it that way. For life to be, there must be death. That is how the circle of life spins.

The world is changing at a rapid pace. The automation revolution is upon us soon, if not already. It shall change whatever we think about tradition forever. The "right" methods, timings and duration to perform tasks will change beyond recognition. There may be no differentiation between night and day in the future, let alone Spring and Autumn. If food will be grown under manicured automated greenhouse environment, regardless of the will of mother nature beyond, how will the working and living conditions of human beings be in the future?

None of my friends believe that automation will take away our jobs forever. They believe that automation create new jobs. The displaced workers will simply need to reskill and take on those new jobs. We don't even need to dive deep into the figures to know that is mathematically impossible. The prospect of humans working 15-20 hours a week in future is very real. Will our quality of life continue to improve? Yes and no. The finer aspects of living will definitely be available but how many can actually afford the luxury?

How should I prepare for the future?

Missus told me to have a look outside one day. She told me, I would love the car parked just outside our door. Indeed.

Before long I found myself walking around the car to admire it. Then two Cacausian ladies appeared from nowhere all of a sudden. One of them identified herself as the owner of the car, met my eyes and asked, "Is there any matter?"

"Well," I said, "having a look because this is one of my dream car."

Immediately her eyes lit up and she gave a big smile, "Yes! I love this so much, it is my baby."

Two more ladies appeared from my neighbour's house. One of them was my neighbour. All of them were dressed to party. My neighbour and another struggled to mount the car at the backseat in their mini skirts, then the driver and the last lady took seats and sped off, waving at me. There went the dream and the car. I went back home to resume practical life.

I really should abolish the habit of calling the Beetle, Kombi, Wrangler etc. my dream cars. Firstly, they might not even be my dream cars. I had never spare a serious thought of owning and driving one of those. I just think they are cool looking. If we want to go down to specifications, none of them is probably practical for long term, down-to-earth, reliable driving. We'll end up with the usual suspects, for practicality's sake.

Unfortunately, the association of dreams and impracticality seems to be a norm. Most often, we kill off our dreams even before we examine their plausibility. This is because we see the pursuit of our dreams as taking a detour from our prim-and-proper well paved route, to a risky one laced with opportunity costs. As such, most of us ended the journey because even taking a step. A shame if you ask me.

I must kick the bad habit myself and start to believe in attainable dreams. Most of my dreams are lofty and seemingly unattainable. What I need to do is to break one of these up into small units and try to achieve one. For example, if I want to make some money online, I should aim to make the first $1, instead of pondering about feasibility and freezing myself into inaction. Instead, do it first to experience the whole process, then refine, improve then scale it. You should do the same to whatever you always wanted to do but didn't start. Be it a weight loss project, a money making one, attaining a worthy asset (please don't buy thrash) or a backpacking adventure.

Was it a few years ago that email conversation took place? Which movie did he mention? My memory is failing me as I age. All the more it pushes me on to blog, lest one day my memory is no more and this leaves a trail behind for anyone who cares.

It was CK. It has to be because there is no one I know who hated life in Singapore... or perhaps... Singapore itself. I never figure out which exactly and I never figure out why. He described how he felt when he received news of the successful application of his NZ PR - like how the protagonist in the movie crawled through a long tunnel of shit to escape the walls that held him for nearly 20 years. Out of curiosity, I watched that movie, Shawshank Redemption, on a late Saturday night recently and was surprised how engaged I was throughout the movie. (I'm not the movie type of person)

I don't critic movies. It was a great one I'll recommend to anyone who hasn't watched it. The shit crawling scene CK likened himself to was definitely the peak of the movie. However, there was something else I picked up from the movie which resonated a lot with me. It was a quote Red, the narrator and the best friend of the protagonist in the movie. This was what he said of their prison, "

“Believe what you want. These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. After long enough, you get so you depend on 'em. That's 'institutionalized.'”

That was being quoted when a fellow prisoner was granted parole after spending 5 decades of his life in prison and could not adjust to his new life. Eventually, he took his life in the half-way house. It was noteworthy that when the old fellow received news of his parole, he actually seized another prisoner at knifepoint to get him imprisonment extended so that he could remain in his comfort zone. Later on Red experienced the same glaring discomforts of 'institutionalization' when he was granted his parole.

The idea of being 'institutionalize' is all too familiar for me. I wanted to get out of Singapore in my late 20s. There were Singaporeans who wrote to me and told me they wanted out since their early youth. No matter, even if you want to get out of Singapore right from the day you were born, you probably can't. Unless you are born with a silver spoon, you will need get yourself academically qualified in the eyes of the adopted country of your choice, get enough working experience in your nominated profession and most importantly of all, save enough to fill your war chest. Through these processes, you get institutionalized.

I hated those walls. I got used to them and I did feel I depended on them. I nearly vanquished the thoughts of leaving altogether at one stage. It was frightening for me to even think about. Am I not surprised to hear how many Singaporeans will not leave Singapore even if they are granted PRs elsewhere? Many will swear they will get out in a heartbeat but trust me, most of them will freeze in their tracks when the opportunity becomes a reality. On day of departure, I had to conceal my tears from my wife. I was scared stiff about life outside my prison. I didn't scream in ecstasy like CK after making out of the shithole. In fact, I wanted to crawl back to the walls that both imprisoned and protected me.

Institutionalization. It nearly got me.

All of you know Singaporeans are a dying breed. Don't go grand figury on me. Naturalised Singaporeans have nothing to do with this. While our birth rates have seen a negligible increase in the last couple of years, it is still way below 'replacement level.' In fact, even if you include naturalised Singaporeans into the equation, Singaporeans are going down the road of extinction.

Thank god.

I have to establish that first lest some knob tells me steep curve in overseas Singaporeans is a natural trend due to population increase. That cannot be further from the truth. I know most Singaporeans still think Singapore is heaven on earth but facts are facts. More Singaporeans have left paradise and remain out, for some strange reasons.

If you cannot figure it out, what you need to ask yourself is simply this: On what logic is there for the common Singaporean to live in the most expensive city in the world where their job opportunities are greatly reduced by fucked-in-the-arse FTAs and liberal leg widening immigration policies? Many overseas Singaporeans have opened the Pandora box, only to be cursed with a full spectrum of doubt and questions.

Trust me, you will not want to touch that. For once you start asking the questions, your soul slowly leaks from your avatar of blissful ignorance. Why should I be chained to a spiked ball for 30 years for the illusion of owning an assembly of walls and windows in the air that cannot be pass down to my future generations? Why are so many unable to afford the payment of their prepaid rental house if they don't use funds from their CPF account to do so? How did we allow CPF policies to change to our disadvantage such that there is no logical way to optimise such a critical amount of our savings but to splash them into our shelter? Why do more have to pledge their habitat in order to fund their retirement due to a near-empty CPF account? Why do I have to fork out a six figure amount for a steel box with wheels when it costs 1/100th of that to get something that does the same job elsewhere? Why do I need to pay a toll to ease a congestion that doesn't? Why do I risk bankruptcy when a critical illness befalls me? Why is the suicide rate for youth increasing year on year? Why does it seem increasing impossible to run a family without a dual income? Why do everyone needs to send their children to tuition to fulfill education standards far beyond reason? Why do more feel a live-in maid is a critical function of a family unit? Why does it feel there are no viable alternative in choosing a voice to represent the cries of our hearts?

These questions will unlock one eventual big question. Is there life outside paradise? That is the point where dark paths appear in the shadows at places you have never noticed before. That is when the curious, foolish or the brave will begin to explore..... the possibilities of living and working elsewhere.... where the mind dares to dream.

Taken just 1 minute away, Winter 2016

Satki Yoda refuted the 3 flat theory in 5 minutes, citing that is only for wealthy businessmen. I do not fully agree. One does not have to be wealthy to practice the concepts of 3 flag theory. In fact, the concepts can be used to make one wealthier, regardless of your current financial status. However, I agree that we have to run a business, several if possible, to make this work.

First off. The definitions. A good post always start with definitions, so that we can be on the same page. I define the 3 flag theory as a hide-and-seek, mouse-and-cat situation to confuse governments of the countries one chooses to reside in, in the pursuit of higher freedom, tax avoidance and .... fun. A common motto of powerful 5 or 7 flaggers all over the world is: Go where you are treated best.

For the record, I am a Singaporean, a holder of the red passport. Australian permanent resident. That happened because I go where I am treated best. I would have no qualms whatsoever never to leave Singapore - ever - if I am being treated the best over there. That didn't happen. So I'm here in Perth. The core foundation of the flag theory is having pledging no allegiance to any flag. This itself proves impossible to many, especially my fellow countrymen. We have been educated to be proud of and to die for the flag. I find that difficult to subscribe to. Many critics, including my own friends, will point fingers at me, citing my disloyalty to Singapore by moving to Australia "to suck white cocks." Well, they don't know me. Pledging allegiance is just a formality. If that makes them happy, so be it. If they expect me to act like I pledge, they'll have to wait.....

Once upon a time, humans are just another species of animals in this world. The rules of survival are the same, the fittest survive. Resources are provided by nature, free for all to enjoy in abundance. Human greed creates the scarcity of resources in our minds, such that we compete, fight or even kill over them. Today, every resource has a price for a human being living in any society. While birds and animals consume water at their free will, we pay for water and prepare for a 30% price increase. The world becomes divided by imaginary boundaries that borders sovereignty. Behind each boundary, there is a specific set of rules to follow and you can expected to pledge allegiance to the government you are born into. What a joke.

Practitioners of the flag theory are not interested in some lofty new world order or changing the world. We are not interested in it. All we do is to adapt to the changes around us and make the best out of it. At the peak of a functioning flag theory in practice, we are perpetual travelers. We do not pay (as much) tax, our expenditure is kept low, we enjoy to freedom of movement and are not restricted to the obligations to a country or employer.

It is not impossible to practice the flag theory as an employee. I have heard of a few Singaporeans living in Australia working on a Singapore payroll. They are allowed to "work from home", which they have made Australia that, incidentally. Singaporean mum, M, sells her stuff (I'll get a thrashing if I mention what) whenever she returns to Singapore. Cedric has intentions to work hard in his insurance field for several months in Singapore, and stay in Australia for the rest of his time. These privileged lot are lucky. I supposed many Singaporeans will like to have a job opportunity like that. If I am one of these lucky ones, I wouldn't be living in Australia. I will be living in the most remote place possible with internet access in a "third world" country where I can live like a lark at the lowest possible cost of living. We do not need to perpetually strive for greater heights, to slit one another's throat for a higher pay or to beg for an increment. It is possible to live on very little, if we open our minds up and look beyond the mental barriers set onto us at an early age.

Jobs like the above mentioned are far and few between. Besides, the bondage to a single employer is not an ideal situation, as far as the flag theory is being concerned. Starting your own enterprise is the only reliable way to provide the flexibility we need. It doesn't have to be a true business that operates without your presence. That is the most ideal but you don't have to be Richard Branson to achieve movement freedom. Self employment can do the trick as well. Perhaps, a small operation that takes place entirely on the internet. My friends Angie and Lex can potentially be travelling photographers, going where work is. Running robot has decided to write blogs and books. A value investor? Many of my friends are selling stuff on the internet. These are some simple potential leads.

I will not go in depth with the flag theory today. There is so much to learn about how to position ourselves, which base to choose for each purpose most favourable to your situation. Instead, the purpose of this post is to highlight the importance of starting our own enterprises. The core purpose is not to earn more than what climbing the corporate ladder. If that happens, great but it has to be fundamentally focused on providing the freedom of movement. That has to be the way to go to tackle the harder challenges in future. Although I realise this too late and may not be able to properly execute this, I will pass on whatever I learn to my children and hope it'll help them in their futures.

Success is probably the biggest conundrum of humanity. There must be a million definitions of it out there. Simply because, we are individuals. Each of us is who we are because of the way we think and the decisions we made for ourselves. We have different priorities in life and that vastly influence how we define success.

I'm putting this on the table because Judy made a comment during dinner today about how a friend of her lamented not having my level of wisdom to insulate materialistic desires. For the expensive cars he bought in Singapore did not bring him the level of happiness as expected. Instead he experienced a sharp decline in marginal utility in each indulgence. If I may humbly respond to that, my opinion is: This has nothing to do with wisdom.

Let me share with you what went through my mind during 2008, where I spent most of the year unemployed. My starting pay was $1,800 in 2006. I spent around $3000 in 2007 for my first holiday in Perth. By 2008, I had only worked for 2 years. Despite that, I had enough savings to tide me through the entire 2008. My friends were completely mystified how I could go on for months and must have thought I was completely broke. Often, they offered to pay for my Teh-O in the coffee shops. That didn't mean I didn't enjoy my unemployment. On hindsight, I did but it certainly didn't feel that way when I was in the midst of it. Even when the morning walks in the serenity of the PCNs were great, it felt horrible when the thoughts of my friends were in the office, raking in money month after month. How will I ever catch up? It felt that miserable every single day because I felt success slipping away from me inch by inch. The torment of witnessing the Singapore dream like an incision in the finger that never heals, draining from me a drop at a time. /grandfather story.

When I realised I actually enjoy unemployment, I began to wonder what success truly meant to me. At that point, it clicked. Success is personal. There shouldn't be a success framework for the masses. What most of us are chasing is a definition of success accepted by the majority. However, what is accepted by the majority is often untrue, wrong or even unfair. In any case, how the majority defines success is irrelevant to us. Let them have it and you shall seek your own. This is how I define mine: Success is going where we want to go, doing what we want to do. By that definition, many of you may have already achieved success. I congratulate you. For the rest, you may realise you have been barking up the wrong tree all along. Owning a $200,000 car may not be what you really want in life. Living in a high rise apartment may not be what you really want. Or working till 70.

Thus it isn't that I possess the wisdom of cracking the life code. What I want in life may be entirely different from any of you out there. My definition of success is may be vastly different to yours. You may really covet that expensive car that I have no net satisfaction owning. All of us possess the power to choose, to define our own success. By casting aside the expectations that society stamps on us, it is the beginning of our own success story. I wish you well on your journey.

"When are you having a third kid?"

These jokes are getting so stale, it's hard to even muster a smile or a mock agony expression on my face. The wife may giggle at these but I am not falling for it anymore. I actually believe that humans producing at this rate is fast tracking the end of humanity. So why do I still have children? Well, I believe that littering is wrong but when I find I'm alone .... Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. In fact, I think they are one of the best things that happened to me. Even for someone who never liked children in the past, I can't help but to yield to the affections of these joyful, cheerful and delightful little things.

My gripe is my disability to come to terms with the dystopia future that my children has to suffer in. 2007. That was the first time I looked into my gazing orb, the future of Singapore scared me so much that I pissed in my pants and therefore was known as the pissed pants poor peasant. To keep things simple, I introduce myself as the piss poor peasant of Perth these days. I came to Perth to delay the inevitable, to buy myself some time and see if I can avoid my fate. Well, I could have died to cancer if I didn't leave .... or become so financially crippled that I could not even call myself a peasant. For now, I have dodged cancer and am wary of any boomerang hits from behind. However, I have yet to solve the financial conundrum. I cannot protect my children's future.

We are in a very special situation in history. I don't suppose any parent today can tell their kids, "Study hard, work hard and you will be ok in life," and honestly believe it deep inside. What is left is hope or faith and very little else. As I take another gaze in my cracked orb 10 years on, the images only look darker. The machines invasion over the last 10 years serves as all the validation that I need. The trend is irreversible but very few believes so. Most people around me hold steadfast in their beliefs that humanity is the fortress that machine will never conquer. They believe that machines will never match the intelligence of a human and will always be a pale comparison devoid of compassion, creativity and analytical judgement.

The problem is, machines do not need to be humane to take your job! When I was working as a weld grinder during my first year in Perth, the gigantic section of weld was actually not welded by any of the welder masters of the company. It was done by the 6m long welding machine, by far the best welder among us. It was able to weld in such precision and speed that no first class welder has a nick of a chance to compete with. Over the last decade, we see the first batch of driver-less trains. In the next, we'll see driver-less buses. Ask yourself this question, does your job requires extemporary creativity on day to day basic? Why do you think you are irreplaceable by a machine? Book keepers have been replaced by accounting software, parking wardens in Singapore will be soon replaced by GPS ERP. Convenient stores all over the world are already operating unmanned. Jobs have been rendered obsolete overnight with the introduction of new technologies every day.

I have absolutely no doubt that machines will overtake humanity. One has to wonder why the average civil servant in a government agency in Singapore who talk and act no differently from a machine think otherwise. If machines are preferred over one of the notoriously cheap labour of Mac Donald's, imagine how easy it is to replace the high earners. The day where it isn't logical to pay a human being anything more than the fraction of cost it takes for a replacement machine to do the job will come sooner than expected.

With some luck, my children may still make it through life - if I act fast enough.

From where I came from, we are being brainwashed at young age for 2 decades through "national education", to working as suppressed wage slaves for the rest of our lives competing with a never ending stream of "cheaper, better, faster" foreigners, to consuming products mindlessly to numb ourselves from stress due to over exposure to manipulative advertising from young. We were hard coded to obey rules and laws and believe in propaganda from the authority using state controlled media, to be passive and uncreative, suppressing ourselves in all aspects of our lives, throughout our lifespan yet too fearful to do anything to overcome it.

Most of us do not realise we live in a sick country. We feel proud to achieve a state of correct representation of what such a society expects of us. The successful Singaporean. The model citizen. However, to be well adapted in a convolutedly sick society is by no means a measure of health. Being caught in wheel of insanity, we are unaware how every revolution afflict us with a heavier dosage of sickness let alone realise we are actually part of it. If you think about it, the paper chase, the obsessive accumulation of 5Cs and the perpetual need to feel validated, to be looked up to and rewarded by society makes us the walking dead or puppets on strings. We are soulless from within, dying way before our official death dates.

What do we really gain from the prosperity and progress of our nation? I've seen the earning power of my friends double and triple over the years but their wells of wealth are still as dry as a spinster. They are volunteering their best time away to get their children into good schools, effectively molding them into the upgraded version of themselves, the cogs of the machine.

Only 1 out of 10 Singaporeans chose to leave Singapore. It is not easy doing so. Those who contemplate a different path of life are being ridiculed. They call us "Quitters" back there. We are being looked down upon, being labelled as those who "cannot make it." At best we are considered weird or crazy. We are none of the above. We are just the lucky ones who broke our mental barriers unconsciously fortified year after year from the day we are born. To break through, we need to be constantly calm so that the desire in our inner voice shines through. We have to maintain this state to give us the strength to confront herd mentality and overcome the hardships along the way.

Angie must resonate with the above at this stage now, when virtually everyone around her is asking her to reconsider moving overseas. When nobody is able to understand you, they naturally try to suppress you and help you fit back into the machine. The biggest challenge of migration is the psychological anguish one has to experience. Whether or not she makes it or not, is up to anyone's guess.

One evening, Judy told me coming back to Perth wasn't an easy decision. Her family questioned her motivation and intention. I know where they are coming from. In truth, there is no real quantifiable reason to move out of Singapore. I'm serious.

If you think you will be happier by moving elsewhere, you are probably wrong . Happiness is an emotion and it can be achieved by many ways. It can be attained by choosing happiness above all else, pushing aside what we perceive as negative emotions to focus on the preferred feeling of being happy. The power to choose can never be fully removed from a human being. Even if you are picking up cardboard for exercise or hanging on the 21st storey by your left eyelid, you can choose to feel happy but telling yourself what can be worse. The possibility of having to eat maggots for dinner or hanging on the 21st storey by your testicles are scenarios that can make anyone feel better in their current status. This has to be done in tandem by bringing oneself back down to the state of contentment. Many vouched that appreciating the small things in life is a good way to achieve contentment. "I have a HDB flat," "I have a job," "I live under a regime with a caring government," "Free chicken rice!" "Free abalone porridge!" " Free chikus!" "Oooh, 10 cent coin!" Be appreciative with what you have, purge negative emotions. Instant happiness. Constant happiness.

Thus, Judy's family was correct to refute Judy's claim that she will have a happier life in Australia. Since happiness can be easily achieved in Singapore, she is wasting time.

How about wanting to move to a less stressful environment? Isn't that a worthy pursuit? Yes and no. By learning how to manage our stress level, we can achieve a low stress Singapore living. We manage our stress by identifying the causes. The rat race? Leave the rat race, stay at home and bake freelance. Cannot afford not to work? Reduce expenses, eliminate "want" purchases, including the children's mobile phone subscriptions and pocket money. The family has to be supportive. These are good-to-haves, not bare essentials of life. Hate the traffic on the road? Don't buy a car and take the MRT. Overcrowding brings you stress? Take the MRT at 6am and do the Singapore workout in the office until work commences. Oh wait, you don't have to work. A stress-free lifestyle can be achieved in Singapore by simply managing our expectations, shuffling our priorities and redefining our goals in life.

Thus, Judy's family was correct to refute Judy's claim that she will have a less stressful life in Australia. Since a relatively stress-free life can be easily achieved in Singapore, she is wasting time.

Many regard Australia as a good retirement base. It has pretty good weather, good quality of air, nice scenery and quiet streets. It has some of the most ideal conditions for someone to wait out for death. Surely, that cannot be disregarded as a fruitless goal? Well, by retirement, all your old, wrinkled and crippled friends are in Singapore stirring a cup of Teh-C at the KPT for the entire day. The losers who still have full control of their limbs can do the cardboard exercises, for "maintenance". By retiring in Singapore, at least you have someone to dial 995 to save you from that heart attack after you see that scantily clad chiobu walking pass. That beats ending up as a wrinkled raisin on your sun lounge by the time someone discover you elsewhere. The quality of air is overrated, at least for the elderly. Since you cannot see or hear that well, there isn't any reason why your sense of smell can work as well as before. Who knows, haze may smell like satay and remind you of your Satay Club dating days in the 60s. We have to be kidding ourselves if we think there is a more beautiful place outside Singapore. We are called the Garden City for a reason, lately rebranded as A City in the Garden. Why look for paradise outside paradise? Why not retire in Singapore? Your friends, the sounds of familiarity, HDB flat and family are there. If Bedok Reservoir is not to your taste, the river that always flow is always there to give you a helping hand if you want an early ticket to your end. The last time I checked, it is still free.

Judy cannot be more wrong to look elsewhere for retirement. She doesn't even need to lift a finger to have the ideal retirement location.

But she is here. You know what they say about contentment? Appreciate what you have, be comfortable and live worry-free, stress-free and risk-free to achieve a happy life. I can't dispute that ..... but there is a little ... flaw that I cannot come to terms with. I see contentment as a good baseline to build on. It symbolise stability, which is a great foundation to strive for improvements. Attaining a state of contentment does not mean we should stop striving for a better future. Doing so is being complacent. Note that this sounds like a SG government rhetoric but I do agree. My problem with them is their differing vision from mine and their choice of route to achieve that. It's nothing personal. That, and reaching for greater heights for our families and ourselves are separate issues.

The fine line between contentment and complacency is blur, thus we have to be aware of where we are standing on. Status quo is not risk-free, simply because change is inevitable and constant. Be honest to yourself. Do you realistically foresee a future better than your past 10 years in Singapore? Hiding in our comfort zones is actually subjecting ourselves to the biggest risks. By exposing ourselves to risk, we are mitigating the risks to the comfort zone itself. So when life strikes us hard, we don't have to say "That's the way the cookie crumbles." At least we tried. If we try hard enough, we can withstand a few hits. The cookie does not have to crumble. One noise I keep repeatedly hear about leaving the cradle is, "Such a big change is so risky, so scary." I'll tell you what is more scary than risk. Regret.

Risks have opportunity costs but do not conveniently dismiss the fact that regrets have opportunity costs too. There may be no valid reason to migrate but by trying, Judy will eventually return to Singapore with no regret from not trying. Having experiencing the wisdom of it first hand, she'll be a better mother, better wife, a good example, a better leader to guide her children and encourage them to pursue their dreams, to test their limits.

Angie sent a message, "Bro, pls help."

Above her request was a wall of text,

Lexis is a International Award Winning portrait photographer specializing in newborns. He found his passion for photography first as a husband and dad. His love for creating beautifully authentic moments led him to start BABY like art Photography. He has been one of the popular choice for parents and has photographed more than 500 babies across countries such as Australia, Singapore and Malaysia. His recent participation in the PPAC International Photo Awards bagged him 1 Gold Distinction, 4 Silver including First Place - Children Category, 2016 2nd Half Online Competition, and First Place - Children Category, 2017 PPAC International Print Competition, as well as TOP 10 International Photographers.

Wow. I didn't realise Lexis and Angie have come so far. It seems like yesterday when I congratulate them for quitting their jobs and pursuing their passion. Mind you, that was a very tough decision. They have two kids, not two pet rabbits, to feed. Like I told Angie, it takes great courage for Lex to be, in her own word, "crazy." How well have they done? I know they won an award recently because they were so excited and thanked me for my help. Help? The only thing I did was to type two words in whatsapp. Only two words for the caption of their winning photograph. If that is considered a note worthy contribution, I must be a marketing genius. No doubt, any successful people are being carried by helping hands here and there. However, the real sweat, tears and blood was shed by only the both of them. Though I have never been involved in any of their work, I have been following their stories and well aware how insanely difficult it is to do what they are doing.

"So what do you want me to do," I asked Angie, wondering what the heck.

If I was supposed to rewrite that, I have absolutely no clue how. In fact, I didn't even know what they call it. "Bio, issit?" volunteered Angie. So I went to search what do people usually write for a bio. It took me sometime to start a single sentence. I was staring at the screen for half an hour. I'm a half baked blogger who blogs in broken English and vulgar language, not a copy writer. Why do they think I can do the job? I have no idea. One thing for sure, they must be surrounded by folks with really bad English or mercenary assholes who refuses to do it without a making a huge margin. Well, ok. People have to make a living. Freelance copywriters are like freelance photographers, they cannot be giving out their services for free, can they? Since I have been critical of friends spending lavishly on their >$100,000 cars, I have to support them if they wish to save a few bucks. The problem is, I am not a copywriter and there is no way I can do it professionally. Just imagine, I couldn't even start a single sentence. The yolk is on my face this time. I almost wanted to say, "Just use your draft, nothing wrong with it."

I went to fetch a bowl of nuts and began munching. I texted Lex and asked, "What is your dream?" He said, "Making my wife happy because a happy wife is a happy family." I bet he was serious. For Angie's face was as dark as a thunderstorm cloud throughout her stay with us in Perth. As a fellow husband, I know what exactly he meant. So it gave me the inspiration for my version (edited slightly by Lex) of his bio, which is supposed to be used for a high level photography platform for international viewers:

Lexis believes a happy wife makes a happy family. He works very hard to master the forbidden art of multi clone jutsu to help juggle his overwhelming but gratifying work schedule and fulfilling his duties as a loving husband and doting father.

Founder of BABY like art, the emerging newborn portrait photographer has captured exquisite images of more than 500 babies across Singapore, Malaysia and Australia. After 2 years of turning professional, Lexis' hard work finally paid off by bagging 5 awards in the PPAC International Photo Awards, notably clinching 1st place in the Children Category consecutively in both the online and print competition. He was also awarded the "Top 10 International Photographers" by the panel of judges, an attestment to his rising popularity among his parents-clients.

When he's not photographing, Lexis run courses for budding photographers in Singapore and putting down his mobile phone during meals upon his partner's nine thousandth remainder. His easy-to-understand photography tips, live demonstration and new work are shared on www.facebook.com/babylikeart/

There were howls of reaction from them. I didn't expect anything less than the WTFs. I wouldn't hold it against them if they thought I was trolling them. However, it was far from the truth. A biography in my opinion, should be honest and reflective of reality. It was pointless, let alone boring, to print some invincible almighty thou speech. Photographers are human. Start ups bosses are human. They have problems, they have vulnerabilities. Their bios should not only reflect their credentials and achievements but also their challenges and aspirations. As a third party listening to the weals and woes all along, I wrote the biography for Lex the way I saw it. Sweat, tears and blood.

After a long hiatus, Lex replied, "I'm going to use it.

To support Lex and Angie, follow them on www.facebook.com/babylikeart/ Photographers who shed sweat, tears and blood to immortalise your babies, the creators of smiles.

Look. That is not even worth a thought. The holy grail of living is being happy and rich. Look around you, how many rich can you identify who is truly happy? If true happiness is a tad unrealistic, then observe and see if they are remotely happy. If one can attain both happiness and wealth, one pretty much win at the Game of Life. GG, EZ, Leet, thelegend27.

You read statistic of how 8 men holds as much wealth as half the world's population. The evidence of a widening rich-poor divide is apparent in every country. It doesn't takes a member of Mensa to figure out that only a very small percentage of the population gets rich and stay rich their entire lives. The odds are as good as winning the lotto. Among these small numbers, many are unhappy with their lives. Businessmen die in misery, celebrities commit suicide, politicians selling their souls to wealth, the rest have to deal with the loss of privacy, being cursed for the never ending pursuit of fame, prestige and fortune. What we have left, is very few beings being happy and rich.

Since the odds of attaining both are not in our favour, why not choose one and hope to attain both in day? I see people pursue fortune by trading their souls, lifeforce, sanity and happiness. Those are worthy sacrifices, they said. For when they get rich, they'll be able to buy back what they lost. Never gonna happen. I see happy people hoping to strike it rich one day by winning the lotto. The wise men said the fools are the happiest people and they weren't wrong. Being a fool is probably the easiest route to attain true happiness. However, not many are capable or willing to walk the path of the fools. Whatever left of my friends in Singapore are generally not rich, not happy. They moan, everyday, about work, bosses, colleagues, parents, relatives, friends, enemies, the fruit juice seller in the hawker centre and the noob taxi driver this morning. They moan about the PAP, their fucktard members and their fucked up policies but they vote for their every GE.

Well, I have no sympathy for this group. For all the choices they make for themselves are to please the others and for some reason, they position themselves among people who are hard to please. They couldn't bring themselves to vote against the government that is causing them grief, because the alternative is "worse". They couldn't quit their jobs because they needed the money to pay Marilyn. They couldn't ask Marilyn to go because they couldn't take care of Boy Boy themselves. They have to pump loads of money to groom Boy Boy so that he will "barely keep up" with the neighbours' Boy Boys. "I don't ask for my kid to top his class, all I wanted is for him to pass!" Sounds familiar? It is so bloody difficult to pass because the bar is set so high because everyone refuses to yield because everyone thinks there is no choice. That's the only way for their kids to survive in future. That obsession with the idea is passed on to their next generation. Kids grow up believing if they do badly in exams, they are finished in life. They certainly do, without even bothering to try, realising the self fulfilling prophecy their parents implanted in their minds. They end up making all their life choices to please the others and for some reason, they position themselves among people who are hard to please. They couldn't bring themselves to vote against the government that is causing them grief, because the alternative is "worse". They couldn't quit their jobs because they needed the money to pay Marilyn. They couldn't ask Marilyn to go because they couldn't take care of Boy Boy themselves. They have to pump loads of money to groom Boy Boy so that he will "barely keep up" with the neighbours' Boy Boys. "I don't ask for my kid to top his class, all I wanted is for him to pass!"

Being happy is rare. Even being rich is more common. It is so difficult to be happy because making decisions we can make to be happy often conflicts with the moral obligations, expectations and opinions of others. To fulfill those we bury our dreams, values and beliefs. It is never possible to please everyone, yet everyone dies trying.

I am near the age people normally call 'midlife.' That's optimism. A few of us die in our 50s, some in our 60s, many in our 70s and much lesser of us in the 80s and beyond. Having living more than half of my lifespan, I'll take happiness given the choice. I came to understand the availability of our choices often lies in the decisions that we make and very few of us realise we have the choice to decide.

That is the master key to unlock the door to the vault of choices. The choice to be happy is not a magic switch that turns you into a carefree fool, erasing all problems of life with an idiotic grin. It takes courage to make the decision and the perseverance to see it out. Quitting a job, going against the trend, moving out from the family, ending a toxic relationship, pursuing a dream, migrating to another country, setting up an enterprise, chasing love, none are easy and comfortable decisions.

Happiness always hide in the guise of a Pandora box and the key is always in your hands. Do you have the courage to open it?

Liverpool fans calling for Jürgen Klopp's head, as Liverpool is heading into yet another trophy-less season. Oh boy. So much for YNWA. I wonder how many of us really know the manager well enough. From his history, do we expect him to bring instant success to the club?

As we all know, Klopp's first managerial stint started at Mainz. When he took over in mid season during the 2000-2001 campaign, Mainz was fighting to avoid relegation. He had 12 games to save the team. Winning the 6 out of the first 7 games in charge, he saved Mainz from relegation with 1 game to spare.

2001-2002 was his first season in charge, Mainz became the surprise team of the league turning from relegation fodder to one of the favorites to be promoted to the Bundesliga. The entire season was a revelation for their fans, with Mainz having a seven point lead at the table at one stage. Then the team began to crash like falling cards at the last three games. Mainz only needed 3 points from the last 3 games to gain promotion. Despite drawing the first 2, they hung on to a promotion place at Matchday 34, their final game of the season where another draw would suffice.

Mainz lost the last game 1-3 to Union Berlin at home and missed promotion by 1 point.

Klopp picked the team up and tried for promotion in the following season. Again, Mainz was a contender for promotion on Matchday 34, the deciding final game. They were up against Eintracht Frankfurt for the final promotion spot. This time, they did well to beat Eintracht Braunschweig 4-1 at home and had one hand on promotion until late goals from Frankfurt in their match nicked it from them.

Mainz missed promotion in the 2002-2003 season by a single goal difference.

Once again, Klopp had to pick the team up again and had another go in the 2003-2004 season. Third time lucky, Mainz finally got promoted to the Bundesliga for the first time in the club's history.

Despite having limited resources, Klopp kept Mainz in top flight for 3 seasons before getting relegated. That was some feat, if you consider how small the club was back then, with a stadium capacity smaller than the capacity of the Marina Bay Floating Platform in Singapore. He stayed on with the club but failed to achieve promotion the following season, before resigning from the position. The entire city held a farewell party against Klopp's wish but he eventually relented and attended, leaving with tears in the end.

Most of you are likely to be more familiar with Klopp's story at Borussia Dortmund, which wasn't too dissimilar to Mainz. Though a big club, Dortmund was in a state similar to the Liverpool side Klopp eventually took over. It had serious financial issues, an aging side playing uninspiring football and fans who had lost their passion. Klopp's adventures with Dormund had its downs as well as some glorious ups. Like the supporters of Mainz, BVB's yellow wall stood by Klopp through the ups and downs. Are the Kopites willing to do the same or will they collapse at the first hit like what it seems at the moment?

Klopp may not the most astute manager around. He may not be the best tactician, neither is he immune to errors. However, I see an honest, hardworking manager who is willing to admit his mistakes and improve. He is one of the very few managers who manage to recover from devastating failures and emerge stronger each time. Call me a hipster if you want but for me, I cannot name another manager I prefer to lead the club I support.

Admiring the magnificence

Though I have lived in Perth for the past 5 years, this is the first time I visited the local vineyards. Somehow, travelling all the way up here in the Summer heat, battling with flies and shit holding a toddler or baby wasn't an appealing thought. Since I have moved nearer to the region, distance isn't a deterring factor anymore. There seems to be a (thankfully) noticeable dip in bush flies infestation for the last couple of Summer. Has there been a change of wind direction carrying the flies elsewhere, or did the introduction of dung beetles successfully reduce fly reproduction? Whatever it is, I'm not complaining.

This Summer is the best of the 6 Summers I have experienced in terms of lowest number of heatwaves we have to cope with. At this stage, we are almost through with 2/3 of Summer without really breaking up a sweat. Well, too much of a sweat, as compared to the previous Summers I dread to recall. The condition makes it pretty fine for walking through vineyards, especially so if it is done in the early morning when it is actually nice and cool.

I want to enjoy these while they last. Agriculture and farming are becoming such difficult industries to do well that many are operating at losses. Many businesses are dying out year by year. Gone were the days where the least educated people farm. To survive as a farmer today, you have to be the among the most intelligent and knowledgeable. Not to mention the wisest of them all. You have to read the weather better than a meteorologist, balance the book faster than an accountant, identify profit and loss more accurately than a business consultant, interpret macroeconomics better than an economist, read international relations better than politicians .... because .... none of the above are affected by conditions in their respective fields as much as a farmer.

The Russia-Ukraine dispute for example, surprised the global dairy market by escalating into a trade war, where Russia imposed import bans on Western dairy products. It has a direct impact on Australian dairy farmers, as European milk flooded into markets where Australia was a significant player at that otherwise would have gone into Russia. Astute farmers will always be watching global trends and international relations among the major powerhouses of the world. They do not have a choice as their livelihood depends on it. Local politics and lowballing major local retailers are also what a farmer has to be watchful for. As a farmer, you'd wish you can say, "I'm just a simple farm. I grow stuff and make money." Quite the opposite in fact.

There has been reports going around that only 15% of grapes growers in Australia are profitable. That is an alarming statistics, if figures are accurate. I imagine a minority of them prefer to tell the taxman about their losses for obvious reasons but 15% is depressingly low, even factoring statistical inaccuracies.

unwanted grapes

They say the oldest profession is prostitution but they couldn't be more wrong. There has to be a farmer before the first prostitute was born. Despite farming being a dying trade due to the perpetual increase of operating cost and corporations pricing them out on the other end, food production will always be in constant demand, though it may not be in the traditional form we are used to. A day may come where food prices are so high, households producing a percentage of their consumption will become a necessity. It doesn't hurt to start practicing.

sunset, inevitable

Many friends tell me they do not intend to retire. The others say they cannot afford to. In truth, we cannot not retire. It is an illusion of choice, except for some lucky ones who either somehow managed to stay in the pink of health and employed at the same time. If you consider the odds, doesn't look too favourable. With rare exceptions, it will happen to many of us - we have to retire, whether or not we are ready or financially capable of doing so. When you fail to remain employed, you are retired, life retires you, whether you like it or not. Avenues of self employment are not established overnight. It require years of planning and thought. The same goes for passive income vehicles. Instead of deluding ourselves governments, children or supernatural forces will take care and provide for us, it is probably wiser to hold our own reins.

I don't believe in relying on the Aged Pension scheme of Australia. I know of some folks tweaking their entire strategy to position themselves such that they can claim maximum pension from the scheme when the time comes. I don't think that is a very wise decision to put the eggs in one basket as I do not trust any governments to protect a scheme for three decades. There are too many variables, uncertainties and vulnerabilities to unfavourable changes. Changes to asset or income tests, as well as the amount of time pensioners are allowed to live overseas while claiming pensions can easily be butterfly effects that hurt us bad.

Another frame.....

While we are scratching our heads over the financial part, building vehicles with capacity to grow funds or some that provide streams of small income, there is no stopping us for preparing ourselves for other areas we can work on.

First, get in the best physical shape as possible. Especially for parents, we devote so much time on children that we neglect our health and physical shape, easily to a state with no easy return. Some health problems are irreversible. We cannot afford to wait until the kids grow up before fixing our physical health issues. For a start, extra weight is a killer. Being a fat ass is more susceptible diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure and other related problems. I am not anti-fat fuckers. The bloody docs said that, I didn't make things up. Medicare or private health insurances are just there to soften the financial blow should we require medical care. Only staying in good health ensures good health. I am always being laughed at whenever I say I am on a diet because I overate for a few months and put on so much weight that I cannot fit into my work pants. However, the fact that I have to go on diet and light exercise regimes each year reveal how easy it is to go out of shape and how I find it increasingly harder to get back to it every year. The odds will be increasingly against us as we age. In glutton speak, it is easier to take small bites of a steak than swallow the whole slab at one go. Take note, try not to be a fat fucker.

Second, downsizing everything. I know this works against the common strategy used to maximise pension claims by reducing cash and eliminating assets pumping everything into the personal home because income and investments (including properties) are being tested but not personal home - then downsizing everything because they do not check your status after the initial test. However by doing so, we will have incurred a lot of unnecessary costs that we have no means of recovering back over three decades while waiting for pension. Such as tax and property tax, council rates, maintenance and opportunity costs of the locked funds. That is not to say it is a wrong strategy. Different strokes for different folks. I prefer to stay small and nimble so that I can react to circumstances faster.

Back to downsizing, the most important thing to do is to start downsizing, or better eliminate, your debts. If you are still have to do payments for cars at this age, something is definitely wrong. Cars should be downsized if possible or at least fully paid before we hit 40 years old. If you are living in Singapore's, don't even think of getting a new COE after you hit 40, unless you are part of the millionaire's club. Judy told me recently that they decided not to extend the COE of their car in Singapore. I applaud her. She showed me some pictures of how difficult it was to do her weekly grocery shopping. Every member of her family had to drag along trolley bags in order to get the jobs done. Little did she realise she was actually doing Point 1 and 2 at the same time. Fattening her pocket and losing weight at the same time. On top of that, it is time to let the children know the realities of Singapore life without being chauffeured around like how they did for the first decade of their lives. It is a true test of how "Life in Singapore can be happy too if we have a positive mindset" for them.

Consider downsizing or eliminating other liabilities, such as a boat that requires a license fee every year, a caravan, a time share, your spare 3 cars etc.

The most important thing to downsize is, perhaps, your retirement expectations. We do not have to retire in Singapore, Australia or Maldives. We have to be realistic. There are many countries in SEA that are viable for retiring. Our expectations are probably the most costly thing we are burdened with. Manage it and you'll find things looking much easier.

Thirdly, create a income stream this year. I notice a couple of friends selling stuff online or buying things for people as a service to claim credit cards benefits. Selling pastry, art, plants, providing a service, whatever. I think it is a good start. It does not have to be a multi-million making company. If it is something you can continue doing in your sunset years, it is worth building the experience and network early because it takes time to do so. It could be anything. An small investment in a company who is able to provide an income of $100 a year. So be it for a start. This has to be my resolution for the year.

The financial big plans can wait until a clearer strategy is derived. However, these three baby steps can be taken first. If you have a retirement strategy, do not feel shy to share it with me.

Past Rants