Archive for May 2016

Can you see them?

No? Can you see them now?

Now you can

"Appoles," the apple of my eye would say.

If you have no interest to be out in the open picking fruits, watching how excited your child is during the activity will. I didn't have to rely on the infectious enthusiasm of Albany to get in the mood. The first apple I picked went straight to my mouth for a bite.

It was a Pink Lady. I usually hate this species of apple but that one was different. The skin of the apple was dull and felt rougher to the feel, unlike those in the shop spotting an awkward sheen on every apple. A layer of wax, I was told. It was supposed to extend shelf life but it makes apples taste like crap and the extra ingredient also don't do our bodies much good. "Peel the skin," they said. Nah. That defeats the whole purpose. How would you like it if I ask you to remove the skin of a KFC chicken and eat the meat?

I like eating apples off the skin but since they taste crappy these days, I have been avoiding buying apples. I know that is not a good idea, since, "An apple a day, keeps the doctor away." How does that work nowadays, with crappy apples that taste like candles? The only way to keep doctors away is to throw apples at them on sight. Besides, there is no point buying apples if nobody eats them. I have lost count how many times I threw apples away with skin as wrinkled as Ho Ching's.

Mind you, I am not implying that those apples that we were allowed to pick at 50 McCorkill Road, Pickering Brook, was super organic with no harmful ingredients used to grow them. We wouldn't know. I didn't bother to ask because no farmer, shop keeper or business owner will ever admit their questionable methods, if any are used in the process of bringing food to the retail display.

I could, however, trust my sense of taste. Plucked straight off the tree and tasted brilliant. If there was any foul play, it would take a PRC-level farmer to pull that off. Most of the Australian farmers have no time for that, at least for now. I took a glimpse of the grinning farm owner tooting around with a toddler in his big tractor and thought, "I could trust this guy," and took another bite off the apple.

I enjoyed the experience throughout. Albany was skipping along with us and picking apples like a hardworking harvester. The grass was long but not enough to create problems for us to push little Anthony along, who looked like he appreciated the sunlight and the cool fresh air up the hills. The wife looked happy and so did her mother, my MIL.

The price of the full box of apples we picked (left) was $25. It was a reasonable price, considering every apple was fresh and crunchy. The box felt heavy to me, ranging anywhere from 12-20kg. I didn't struggle with carrying 15kg boxes at work like I did with that box. So I suspect it would be 15kg at least. However, even at 10kg, the apples would be a decent $2.50/kg or $1.25/kg if it was closer to 20kg. We could probably buy cheaper apples at the wholesale centre but it wouldn't the same quality. Considering that was a family excursion, $25 for the entry fee, event and a box full of good apples to bring home, no one would say it wasn't a good idea.

I am beginning to get the hang of these harvest timings. The last time we visited Pickering Brook, the apple trees were all botak. When we drove through the famous Swan Valley during our first Winter here, the vineyards were all botak too. By now, I know when it is time to harvest strawberries, apples, persimmons and grapes. Would you like to experience picking apples from trees? I should start organising Homestay & Harvest Tours for Singaporeans some day.

Families with stay-in "maids" used to be a feature. Today, it is the culture.

How did it turn out this way?

No doubt, there are families with the need for an extra pair of hands to help things out within the household. However, much like how the word 'gay' used to mean 'carefree' or 'happy', the definition of 'need' is very different today. The mobile phone, an air conditioner and even a car used to be items of luxury. These days, they are deemed by many in Singapore as absolute needs. Not surprisingly, so is having a full time, stay-in maid in the household.

For households with elderly or children, the need for a maid increases. A stay-at-home mum is a rarity in Singapore today. Parents have figured out it is more financially viable to have both parents working full-time to run a family. How else if the family is to afford that latest 60-inch state-of-the-art television system, that posh full leather couch assembly, the annual holiday trip to Europe or send Boy Boy to Montessori?

Look, new Daddy!

Mummy must work. Period.

So the plan was extended for the maid, who was initially hired to clean and cook so that daddy and mummy can have a little quality time together with Boy Boy. Now Maria has to pick Boy Boy up from childcare, clean, soothe, feed and even educate him.

When someone posted this picture up (left) on a neighbourhood group, you should have read the comments. The remarks, mainly made by mothers, were scathing. The picture was posted with only a suggestive caption but readers were quick enough to form the context. One thing for sure, nobody liked what they were seeing.

The queen of the household is caught between a rock and a hard place. Ironically, one of the challenge she finds of hiring a maid is to ensure the maid doesn't replace her. Fill the tasks of the maid to the brim! So that she will be too busy to rest on her expensive leather couch. Get her to wash the car too. So that she will have no energy left even to sleep, let alone sleep with Sir. How about Boy Boy? Nah, it is okay to outsource the yucky things such as changing of diapers to Maria. I mean, what can go wrong right?

My friend Angie is a part-time photographer, professional mother. That is a lethal combination for very keen eyes. She told me how she saw parents holding hands in shopping malls, while a maid trails them a few steps behind, carrying their babies or toddlers. Skin-to-skin bonding between parent and child must be deemed over-rated these days. What happened to the "He ain't heavy, he's my brother" privilege we reserve for our family? It has since changed to, "He is heavy, chuck him to Maria." Sad.

During photo shoots, Angie observed how queens of households bark instructions at their maids to take care of their infants. However, when it comes to crunch times, such as making the baby smile, the maid, not the queen, is the one who manages to do it in 9 cases out of 10. Who cares about making babies smile anyway? It is all about giving Boy Boy the best food, best education and best toys. There isn't anything Maria can possibly replace, right?

Wrong.

What Maria replaces is the patience you should have given your child. She did it out of responsibility and not love. Giving Boy Boy the best huh? What Maria also replaces is the humility of being a parent. No matter how smart or how rich you are or how much income you have, you shall be reduced to a pathetic soothing machine when your baby needs consolation. Even Mark Zuckerberg changes his baby's nappies. Yet we have arrived at this stage in Singapore where it is becoming increasingly "impossible" to start a family without a live-in maid, where motherhood is required to be outsourced. The Golden Age, that's what they call it.

During my first two years in Perth, I went out very often with Jen, then later lugging baby Albany around everywhere we visited.

I wanted to know more about the place I hardly know about.

It seemed crazy, even frightening, when I recalled the journey we traveled till today. It comes to a point I can hardly resonate with new Singaporeans moving to Australia anymore. 4 months down the road, I would be here for 5 long years. Thing changes in lightning speed in Singapore. Iconic buildings can be replaced by steel and glass in a matter of months. How much have Singapore changed over the 5 years I have been away? It is difficult to understand that in depth by merely making short visits to Singapore now and then.

Perhaps, no matter how bad the economy is in Australia, how hard it is to find jobs, how "idiotic" the new government is or how they change Prime Ministers like changing underwear, there are things you cannot take away from Australia that makes it attractive to live in. The beautiful weather, thousands of square kilometres to roam, the amazing scenery, the high quality of air, the dark, dark quiet nights - these are some things you can never buy with money in Singapore.

That was why during the first couple of years, there were so many instances when I was left alone doing my thing on a lazy afternoon, I wished my old friends were there with me. I wished for the buddy who will scream in delight, even at our age, as he runs through the vast amount of green with a football and kick the afternoon away like we used to. I wished for the buddies to be around to have cups of home made Teh C with me at each other's Alfresco area, enjoying the cool Autumn breeze, taking about the computer games we used to play. I wished everyone was around washing their cars with me like we used to. I wished that my family was here and that we can look-out for one another the same way we used to when I was still in Singapore.

After long enough, I stopped wishing. As I knew the wishful thinking would never come true.

In fact, I doubted I would ever see anyone that I knew personally in Singapore migrating to Australia, let alone my best buddies. Gradually, I stopped telling friends about my life in Perth. In fact, I got a little scared that one day, they might come here and found the place completely different to their expectations. I stopped. I stopped completely.

I made an exception recently. It began with a casual remark. He was a visitor, bunking in my place for a few days. I knew him for years but we weren't close. So we spent a few hours in the evenings talking about him. When I heard about his job experience, I made that casual remark, "Hmm, you can easily migrate here you know?" Young (enough), 8 years of working experience relevant to his Australian Degree in an occupation on the SOL. It was a no-brainer.

To be honest, he was one of the last person I would imagine being interested to migrating to Australia, let alone making himself go through the hassle. Part of it could be his wife's fault. She always painted him being a tad too "carefree" in our conversations. He didn't come across as someone who could muster the steely resolute to pull such a thing off.

I was wrong. He had to walk through the fire with employers whom he parted way on not-so-good terms to get the necessary documents he needed for his Skills Assessment.

When his wife bugged me with expected questions like how to get the documents certified true copied, I realised they were not clowning around. In a blink of the eye, she sent me this (left), and they were at Stage 4. He aced his Skills Assessment (like I expected) and the only obstacle left between his family and their Australian PR was doing well enough for IELTS.

But why? I found myself asking both of them multiple times.

I wanted to make sure they knew what they were doing. They have 2 young kids and a successful start-up in Singapore. It isn't easy to give up a business. It isn't easy for anyone to migrate with 2 young kids in general, regardless of their situations. Do they know what they are hopping into? Are they caught out in the spur of the moment?

I feel they are being really brave. I saw myself in them. Soft Singaporean guy, fiery Malaysian wife. There I was at some stage in Singapore, tired, hopeful, clueless, reckless. Somehow that worked for me. Could they carve out a little space here for themselves? That takes us to the most important question any Singaporean contemplating the same thing could ask him or herself, "Why not?"

"Why not?" is a question that opens up secret doors never seen before with naked eyes.

It was the question that took Stephen the Triumphant to WA with just Secondary School qualifications. It was a story he would repeat over and over again and I wouldn't mind listening because it inspires. He took a course in bricklaying here and started laying bricks on a work visa. He tried ways and means to get a PR but was caught in limbo for years. Eventually he succeeded and today, he is an Australian Citizen. He had no right but with his sheer determination and belief, he earned his right. He told me, "When I first came, I knew I couldn't qualify for PR but I didn't tell my wife that and just go." I suspect his wife was smart enough to know, but gave him the full support anyway.

When I need a reminder about how we can carve out a path for ourselves here as long as we don't give up, I think of Stephen's story. His was a classic case of sacrificing, risking everything he had and reaping what he sowed. How many Singaporeans are willing to do whatever it takes to fulfill their dreams? Not many, really.

I've seen my fair share of Singaporeans coming here and refused to give up what they once have or were having. Their jobs, their status, their achievements, their pride, their beliefs, their expectations. What they eventually gave up were their dreams. You cannot catch your dream if you don't reach out for it. To reach out, you have to let go of what you are holding.

I feel a little guilty of planting the evil seed in my visitor's mind a few months back, which grew rapidly into a sapling since. Whether it will mature and bear fruit eventually remains to be seen. I hope they will be blessed like the other migrants I met and had settled down well since.

A Singaporean In Australia

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