A Singaporean In Australia

Mr and Mrs Lim, officially married, 31 Dec 2011

Now that the year is coming to the end, you want me to spill the beans?

Ok.

I didn't fulfill a single New Year Resolution in the past decade. Heck, in fact I never managed to do it all my life.

Except this year. (Please applause)

But I didn't do it the way I planned it. I did jog fervently in the middle of the year and lost considerable weight but I stopped after I peed blood and gained some weight back. I still did it eventually. Guess it is the final result that counts.

At one point this year, I was as heavy as 75kg. It gotta be my heaviest ever, probably a kg heavier than the day I got married. Regrettably all my photos turned out terrible because of my obvious facial fats. On top of that, I felt uncomfortable as ever. I missed the slick, agile body I used to operate with. So I decided that losing weight would be (yet again) my New Year Resolution 2010.

I didn't expect to make it. After all I flunked several times. The insane new job routine did it for me. I was practically exercising every minute during work. Doing it at graveyard hours probably added to its effectiveness. I may be losing even more weight with the months to come or it could plateau out, I'm not sure.

My weight for the day is 68.6kg. Bizarrely, Jen's weight has been identical to mine for the past 2 days, before and after meals, before and after toilet businesses. It meant that Jen + Albany = Me.


My resolution was to lose enough weight so that I will end the year with not more than 69kg. I believed started a thread in Punggol Forum to challenge my neighbours to do it together. Guess no one remembers. heh. Anyway;

My BMI is now 22.1.

Category	BMI range – kg/m2
Emaciation	14.9 or less
Underweight	from 15 to 18.4
Normal	from 18.5 to 22.9
Overweight	from 23 to 27.5
Obese	from 27.6 to 40
Morbidly Obese	greater than 40

According to this chart, I'm alright. That's good. Hopefully I can keep it this way.

Many friends have stopped making New Year Resolutions. Like me, they must have failed umpteen times that they refuse to bother about such things anymore.

How about sharing your New Year Resolution for this year? Did you achieve what you wanted to do?

Yet another

The CPF Minimum Sum (MS) was set up in 2003. It was said it would be raised gradually until it reaches $120,000 (in 2003 dollars). The figure will be adjusted each year for inflation. Everyone knows that. If you don't, now you know.

Automatically is the dirty word. Pledge is pure crap. I'll lose the ownership of my flat if I can't meet my Minimum Sum (whatever it is) by my retirement age. Oh wait! I don't own the flat in the first place. I signed the Agreement of Lease, not the Deed of Entitlement.


Stop to think for a second. Every single cent in our CPF account belongs to us. The government has no right to tell us what to do with it, much less control and withhold our money this way. Now that some of us have the real possibility of losing our flats by retirement age because we didn't save enough money in the CPF account, things have gone way overboard.

He tugs

and he tugs

Harvested corn cobs, the little boy's effort

Tasting the 'stem' of his labour

Phoenix eventually plucked all seeds without help from her mum

Little Erwin having a wild time in a make-shift pool in the garden

It was much better earlier, with the sky as the rainbow

Soon the sky turned completely dark. Eugene urged me to moved in the water myself while he took care of his own preparations. I did and plodded suspiciously into the pitch darkness.

The place was fascinating. I wondered how it looked in the day. The waves were extremely gentle compared to some other coast spots in Mandurah. What was most impressive was that I could walk for 1 or 2 km out from the coastline and the water would not even reach my knee level. In fact it would be always around the ankle level. Well ok, I'm ignorant and ill-travelled go ahead and laugh. But when was the last time YOU were amazed by things? It was an awesome feeling, no?

It felt a bit scary to turn back and realised how far you were from the coastline. I shuddered the first time I did that. If I were to go that far in Singapore at night, I swore I would be swept to Batam by morning. Regrettably, it was very difficult to express this experience in words. You have to be here to do it and understand. Even a picture that paints a thousand words could not be applicable here, an impossible night shot beyond my abilities.

Meanwhile, the Tan family got ready and were raring to go. Boy, they were WELL PREPARED!

!!!?!

No one, I mean no one takes his young daughter and son 1 km out in the sea in a inflated toy boat in Singapore. Over here, you couldn't stop Eugene from doing it. When he said family crabbing outing, he meant it. His wife, mother-in-law and children joined him right out there out in the sea. He had everything ready. Torch lights, crabbing tools and a styrofoam box to store his catch floating gingerly along.

Jen as well as the MIL came along with me for a while. We had a decent time in spite of the grumbling MIL. I made a mental note to come again with Jen again without people who are disinterested. We will make a brilliant team as usual and have a good time. I am very sure Jen feels the same way. She will give me a peck and tell me I was right when she reads this. And we will. Next Christmas perhaps? Will any of you join us?

The trick to catching crabs here, is to do it at night. According to Eugene, the reflection of the clear water is too distracting in the day. On top of that, you may get a bad sun burn at the end of the day. So it is better to do it at night. Basically, you shine the torch around and try to spot a crab. Once you see one, you sweep and try to catch it. That's how simple the whole thing is and that's probably what makes it fun for all.



We were not so lucky this year. It was a little too 'cold' this Christmas. Apparently the warmer the day, the more crabs there would be. If we revisit on a hotter day in Jan or Feb, we would likely come back with 2 full crates of crabs like Eugene did on the previous year. Not this time though, we ended the 3 hour adventure with only 6 crabs.

Eugene got 2 boxes full of crabs last year. Better luck next year!

I'm not sure about you, but after this I understood why Phoenix insisted to come despite feeling quite sick. It was all pretty fun. Miraculously, she recovered by the time we reach home at around 2300hrs and was giggling beside me while I provoke the crabs in the box.

The crabs met their unfortunate end on Boxing Day as snacks after dinner.

I would be lying if I said I enjoyed staying with my mother-in-law. She epitomised the bane of whatever values I held of deep importance to myself. Freedom was of course on top of the list. Peace was the next. I was convinced tactfulness, wisdom and considerateness did not come naturally with age. It was never a given, you either developed these or you didn't.

I had no one to voice my unhappiness these days anymore. I didn't have friends to hang out with to hear my grouses. I didn't even want to tell Jen about how I felt, though eventually she would read this. I knew she would be sad reading these. I didn't want her to get into trouble siding me, but at the same time I felt terrible to be in such a situation. I could see Jen was happy to be reunited with her mum and that was important to me. On this rare occasion, I wish my blog does not have a single reader. I just need to talk, badly, but I don't wish for anyone to hear these.

A Chinese saying goes, "It's easy to get along, but difficult to live together." I couldn't agree more. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I don't think I'm that difficult to get along with. I have a good endurance when it comes to patience testing. I'm those who remained quiet and saintful for a very long time until the limit is triggered and when it happens it's never pretty. I can't imagine I'm thinking of such things after a day. I fear the worst, to be honest.

This pregnancy wasn't an easy one for me. I had been plagued with worries from start till now. From the multiple scares from KK hospital which still lingered like a curse in my mind, the migration, jobs, housing and now, the mother-in-law. I thought the ending would be beautiful. After toiling through these, I feel eager to meet Albany and hold her in my arms - minus constant nagging in my ears.

The next 3 months will be mental hell for me. Multiple changes, the intense heat coming as Summer peaks. Sometimes a guy yearns to be loved too, instead of being endlessly picked on constantly from dawn to dusk.

I wish my mother is here.

2 years ago on the same day, I proposed to Jen at Pasir Ris Park, the same place where we had our first 'date' as friends 10 years ago, on the same day.

This year, there was no time for romance.

Besides the (relatively) lack of Christmas spirit here, I woke with pain all over my body. I sprained my back slightly on Friday and pain spread to most of my back by morning. To top it all, my fingers were still swollen and as usual, I couldn't bend many of them when I woke. I was seriously happy Christmas was around the corner just for the sole reason I could give my body a little bit of rest.

After a terrible slow start to the day because of a lumbering body, we started seriously packing to clear a bit of space in the bedroom. The mother-in-law would be here by tonight and we would be cramped in this tiny room. Jen considered a final move to a place of our own before the baby was due. It might be a good idea after all, though it would hurt the budget a little.

I hope Jen's mum will not complain and starts giving me hell before I can improve the situation. I have my fair share of that physically at work already and I don't need mental training. If we got to move, we got to move. Fast.

Meanwhile the plane will arrive in another 2 hours. It'll be a long long night ahead...

My wife woke at 0215 hrs when I reached home from work. She heated up a bowl of glutinous rice balls and placed it on the table. When I was out from the bath, she served it to me immediately. Before she could get me a separate drink, I finished the entire bowl of soup drinking straight from the bowl.

I saw 4 glutinous rice balls staring shockingly at me when I was done.

"I'll get the refill," quipped Jen.

The 2nd bowl of soup was decimated in similar fashion. Then I decided to gobble up the angry rice balls one by one. By then, the 2 bowls of ginger soup left me feeling real warm in a 19 degrees summer night. The soup was not as neither stinging nor as sweet as what Ah-Balling served in Singapore. It tasted perfect.

Later on, I saw hordes of people posting pictures on Facebook, of the bowls of rice balls they consumed today. I was puzzled. Was it the day to eat these stuffs? If it was, how did Jen knew? Probably a coincidence. Well, I didn't know what was the real meaning behind consuming tang yuan. What I remembered from mum was tuan yuan, or reunion of family members.

Jen is my only family member here now.

I missed my mum again. The last call to her last weekend saw us discussing about her retirement plans. The little humble stall we set up 8 years ago could probably come to an end next year. She decided to consider a possible handover to my 2nd sister's brother-in-law.

The little stall brought back so many memories. Back then I was in my final year of university. My parents ran into financial troubles during the SARS period. At one stage we didn't have enough money to pay the utilities bills. Fortunately the boss of a prominent boys school offered to rent mum a stall to have a go. But mum was hesitant, that stall was a western food stall which she had no idea how to cook a single item on the menu, much less run it.

I told her, "We'll make it. Take it up." Not knowing a single bit on western food myself, we went head on into the unknown. I remembered learning everything myself. From the deboning of chicken, making of every single sauce the stall needed, the cooking methods of the unconventional menu items that we invented to inventory control, suppliers, logistics.

I remembered William lending me a steady hand on the first day of business. We were frantic and we didn't quite settle down until the 2nd year of business. From there, business improved and earnings went beyond our expectations. With that, except for school holidays, I spent every single Sunday for the last 7 years helping out my mum at the stall.

The stall was a big story behind my family. Jen was there with me all the while. She was the one who lent us $3,000 to set up the stall. Being just a classmate, that was an extraordinary favour. On the first day when William was around, she was quietly there too.

She was there on some occasional weekends when I was there. Not to collect debts as it had been cleared by the 2nd month. Once, she fainted on the giant rice cooker. I was too slow to catch her in time. Fortunately the rice cooker wasn't on. My mum saw what happened and I told her to "自己保重" and took Jen to seek medical attention.

She was heavy. Perhaps I was still quite fit at that time, I managed to negotiate that extremely steep slope with her on my back, before struggling to the gate of the school at least 400 metres away. We got on a cab and went to the nearest 24 hrs clinic in Bukit Timah.

Did she fell in love with me because of that? I was not sure.

When Jen went to Perth for 2 years, helping out in the stall was painful. I could cope with the 2 extra clumsy hands missing but not the loss of her company. It was then I realised her importance to me. She gave me an option to make her stay in Singapore. Instead I said, 'Go."

Every Sunday since was a day of repenting for me as I expertly whipped up the Egg Pillows, Scotch Eggs, Chocobo Eggs among other items Jen and I came out with to charm the school children. As I laboured through the chores, I imagined voices in my head and images of her trying to tease and irritate me during work. The signboard and menu items we designed together, as well as the silly art work she added on them, also vividly reminded me I let her go.

When she was back in Singapore in 2007, she continued to help at the stall with me occasionally, whenever her hectic audit job allowed her. By then we were in a relationship. Then we got married, she  continued to follow me to the little stall each Sunday until we finally moved to Perth. 2 months later, it was school holidays.

Honestly, I believed my mum wanted to continue the business. But deep inside, I knew she was tired. She had gone way beyond our imagination already. She was the frontwoman, the main woman behind the stall. But I was the fuel to her fighting spirit. Without my presence, perhaps, she didn't see the sense behind another year of hard work. Without being able to tell me the interesting happenings on certain business days, the trends and how my new items were selling. I, too, am heartbroken that it is heading to an inevitable end.

The stall was the back bone behind my little family story. It forged the robust relationship between my mother and Jen. We were there when we were classmates, friends, lovers, spouse and even during the pregnancy. I used to tell all my friends Jen and I didn't have a romance. It could be true.

But we had a story behind our relationship. The stall was the story.

Feb 1st?! Wtf how long is their holidays?!

I'm not a sucker for nostalgia but this really made me smile

The field outside Kelmscott Primary School. Kids would love it

It's a great-grandfather school

An old school chicken wind vane

The wooden donkey made from the simplest materials

Common wind chimes to delight little children

In the centre of the little sleepy town was a memorial monument. It was to commemorate soldiers from this town who fought in numerous wars in the past and died in service. I thought it was a nice gesture. It made me felt people living in Kelmscott knew and treasured one another's existence. I am not ridiculous enough to expect people to set up memorial monuments in Choa Chu Kang or something but  we did not even have a simple countrywide plaque for the medical servants who died during the SARS period in 2003. (Or is there?) In Singapore, a life is a mere economic number after all.

The Memorial Monument in Kelmscott

Elsewhere there was a small little church near Kelmscott Primary School. Nothing fanciful like your money spinning City Harvest Church. Just one that serves its original purpose. What shocked me was the graves outside the church. Well, I had seen these in shows, even in computer games but to see one was an interesting experience.

I received a message this afternoon, "Why you no post?"

"Post what?"

"Blog."

"Hmm."
"No one read what, so I don't post loh," I joked.

"If you don't post, how people read?" came the reply.

For the first time since a long time, I was loss for words. Well, the blog hasn't ended. It was just TUESDAY. Finally I replied, "This blog is closed on Tuesdays until further notice." Heh, no loss for words after all.

To be fair, today was good. It started nearly crappy as the previous few Tuesdays. I was nearly late for work because I forgot my mobile phone. But the rest of the day turned out alright. I had a lot of thoughts from the yield of the day.

The work was almost just like any normal day. Unlike last Tuesday, work was pretty smooth. I managed to complete my work, of course with the help from 葵花寶典. At the end of the day, Jang Hoon the handsome Korean guy came over and gave me many pointers on how to finish my work faster, as we happened to be same job which was rare.

I used to troll Jang Hoon now and then with lame unfunny jokes such as

"Hey why do every single South Korean in this company live at the south? The Swan River is not the DMZ." :D

"Hey why are the places you visited all southwards from where you stay? You can travel North here!"

Today I decided not to troll Jang Hoon with Kim Jong Un. The tips he gave me were practical and good. Jang Hoon was young, smart, knowledgeable, skillful and he got a Bulgarian girlfriend he picked up at a pub in Perth. Some guys have it all.

Jang Hoon gave me a piece of good news. We knock off at 2am today instead of 4am. Though I would be earning less today, it didn't feel painful. I thought it was a beautiful way to work for now. I'm happy if I knock off early, I'm happy if I knock off late as well since I'll bring home more money that night.

That was not the lesson I learnt from knocking off early though. I noticed by 2am, I was still alert and sharp. Back then when I first started working 10 hours till 2am, I was a piece of rag by the time I knocked off. Then after that we ground 11 hours till 3am and 12 hours till 4am the last week or so, I went home absolutely knackered. By now, 10 hours didn't take a toll on me as much as before.

It was like jogging long distances back in Singapore. I couldn't run 2km to save my life. Just few months before I migrated to Perth I picked up the jogging trend from friends. I managed to do 15km runs at one time. Back then, I remembered looking back and wondered why I struggled that much to do a simple 2km run a while ago.

Humans can do a lot more than they think they can't. When we test our limits, we improve a bit each time.

I hope to pass this simple lesson to all my friends (I have at least 5 of you in mind) who may be getting too comfortable with their jobs. Get new jobs, challenge yourself. We are still young, it'll be even harder when we are older. Learn more, try more. Life is short. Most importantly,

Make hay whilst the sun shines.

The rural road up Martin

Overlooking another suburb named Roleystone at the far end

Somebody's house, but you don't see the house

I stood there long enough to zoom my camera, someone's coming!

They were just kids toying around. Ok I'm impressed

The well belonging to this house. Isn't it lovely?

The unknown suburb, Champion Lakes

That's how the new man made lake looks on the map

The basin area

The 2km stretch

The weather was rather kind to us today. I called my mum on the phone and had a really long chat while Jen and I sat on the grass, just metres from the water. It killed off whatever credit I had in my phone and our conversation was eventually cruelly cut of by Optus. It was comfortably breezy and Jen started to take pictures of herself in her boredom. It was a seriously scenic and serene place, I guess it was a natural thing to do.

Not far from us, some local kids were having a ball jumping off the decks into the water. I heard the majority of Australian kids can swim. They made sure of that in school. I could see that. Australians simply adore water sports or any leisure activities close to the water be it frolicking, fishing or having a BBQ. They have a good reason to, if you have a chance to look at the waters here.

"Shall we buy a house in Champion Lakes?" I quipped, jokingly.

"Hmm, can ah," Jen replied, probably knowing that was a joke.

Sometimes I carry out jokes too far. But not always.

Brandon took me aside after dinner for a 'guys' talk'. Their three young boys were still boying around the garden, cycling, rattling, yelling and all things small boys do. Throughout the conversation their littlest one Alexander, 2 years of age or so, kept us busy by kicking a ball back to him. Inside the house, Jen was helping the lady of the house with the dishes, perhaps having a tiny bit of conversation along the way?

Who's Brandon? He is Jen's brother-in-law, a born and bred Australian. Technically, that makes him my brother-in-law as well. Yes, we do have relatives in Perth and they are the only ones. We finally paid them a visit, 90 days after we landed.

This was never an easy visit for me. Jen's sister were no stranger to me. She was my senior during Polytechnic days. I knew her in my freshman orientation camp where she was a group leader of another team. We didn't speak to each other much, if any at all. But I was probably on talking terms with some of her classmates.

When I first met Jenny at University, I narrowed my eyes and knitted my brows in wonder and told her, "You looked like someone I knew."

It wasn't an old trick or a lame pick up line. I wasn't making a pass at her and it was never love-at-first-sight. They did look alike. Jen managed to solve the mystery on that day after probing some of my background information.

It was always awkward meeting Karen since then. On every occasion, it was. From the beginning of time where Jen and I were just classmates, then business partners, then friends, friends, and then friends again before finally we had a long-distance relationship, got married eventually and now we are becoming parents.

Jen's parents - as well as her sister - did not seem to approve of me. To make things worse, they have a complex sibling relationship which remained enigmatic to me until today. All in all, it felt awfully awkward paying them our 3rd visit in 5 years and our first since we migrated. As usual, it was my mother-in-law's arrangement behind the scenes. When the MIL was involved in things, never risk incurring her wrath. That's basic wisdom.

We had a glorious dinner as usual. Brandon was an exceptional cook. He never failed to disappoint each time. Throughout dinner, it was the same awkwardness though I noticed a little difference. Karen spoke 3 sentences since we stepped into the house. That could be thrice of what she used to muster at that stage in previous occasions.

I noted that I could understand 70% of whatever Brandon said this time round, compared to probably 5% of it during my first visit. Am I getting localised slowly? I'm not sure but it sure felt good being able to comprehend and converse rather than nodding my head politely.

The only thing that positively encouraged me the slightest for this visit was Thommo, their pet dog. He could be the second dog I love after Chocolate. Thommo was friendly. All Golden Retrievers were but Thommo was a notch special. You could feel his love for you the way he interacted with you. Any non-dog lovers would be bought over by his attention. On top of that, he was extremely well trained and had the best behavior you could ask for in a dog. Thommo would always be the shining beacon in the sea of mental discomforts I experienced during my visits.

The moment Thommo heard me slotting the gate open, he came out barking. Within seconds he changed his dash into a light bounce. He recognised someone who loved him coming back to hug him. I did exactly that, forgetting momentarily that Jen had not driven in. I cleared the dog and the chuckling toddler from the path and guided her in.

A brotherly hug. Daniel, the eldest, looking on

Great moments, once again

Thommo never fails to shake my hand

Waited outside the house when everyone is inside

Brandon told me he needed a favour from me. I raised my eyebrows and replied, "Sure." I knew there was nothing I could do to help this man. He was way better off than me financially and there were not many things that money couldn't solve. I knew it would be something special.