A Singaporean In Australia

Ms Ong will always remain a special person in my book of memories. The details are not irrelevant to the post. The purpose of this is that Ms Ong will be coming to Perth for a holiday while I'm away for a returning visit to Singapore to attend Tucky's wedding. Smart lady as always. Nonetheless I've been asked for recommendations of place worth visiting during her holiday here. I promised I'll get back to her and she told me to take my time, probably half convinced I'll forget it cleanly. I hadn't, but it is an annoying prospect to tell her the grandfather story via whatsapp. That's why it's appearing here, bigger screen, higher resolution and faster to complete.

The problem is, Ms Ong had already booked a trip down to Margaret River. In short, she had cast her itinerary in stone! The only thing I could do is to comment on the highlights that will probably appear on her tourism brochures and leave her to decide which are the best places to visit for her family.

The house rule: minimize animals visiting, since Caversham Wildlife Park will be one of her destinations during her Perth City stay.

Ms Ong said, 'No!' but I say, 'No, No!' If you haven't done a barbecue in Australia, you can't consider yourself having visited it. So what's the fuss about? The significance can be better understood by comparing what both countries do on their respective National Days. On National Day in Singapore, we show off their military to the world and set off fireworks. On Australia Day in Perth, we do BBQs in the city.

Instructions to use a BBQ station in Perth as follow:

a) Buy pre-marinated meats, sausages. bread and salad in any supermarket, a pair of tongs, sauce (if desired) some disposable plates n forks/spoons/cups and hand towels, a bottle of coke and drinks.

b) Visit any public parks. Most, if not all parks have adequate BBQ stations for hungry park visitors. On a weekend, pits at popular parks will be occupied. On a working weekday, the chances of finding an unused pit are high. At any of  the 'neighbourhood parks', it is a certainty to find a pit available for use. I'll recommend Garvey Park, Lake Monger, Point Walter, Sir James Mitchell Park as possible choice around Perth City and any nearest park to your accommodation in Margaret River.

c) No bookings are required. Don't bring along charcoal or starters too. Press the button (follow the instructions) and hold until a light comes on. The pit is in heating mode. While waiting pour Coke over the pit and throw a couple of hand towels over and clean the surface with your tongs. Most pits should be in great condition to start off with.

On the Caversham Wildlife Park day, you can consider dropping by Swan Valley nearby and visit the Margaret River Chocolate Factory for the fun of it (but don't stop too long). Yahava KoffeeWorks if you are into coffee tasting. Windarra honey for Nadia to watch bees at work in a transparent hive on the wall. Unfortunately the grapes vines in the farms are off-season in Spring so most vines will be bare.

Rule #1. Do not google any of the places I listed. There is nothing better than to see it in person the first time. So Don't. Set off early. I meant waking as early as 5am, wash up, get dressed and go. In Spring, the first light is earlier than Singapore and the sun set much earlier. So it is preferable to make adjust to make the best out of the daylight. There will be adequate places to stop for a rest or toilet ala N/S highway, Malaysia. 

No recommendations for which eatery. Just find something to eat, stretch a bit and move on. Pack along lunch if you want to (eg. Subway)

Stroll the jetty if you can. I mean stroll, no need to rush this. I was lucky enough to see a whale during my first walk at the 1km mark. Very low chance but everything else about it is still worth the walk.

Yallingup is an aboriginal word for "A Place of Love". So spend some time having lunch with the people you love here. Walk down the beach for a few minutes before you set off. 

If you reach 7) too early or are not feeling hungry yet, you may want to have lunch at the maze instead. Regardless, take some time to rest and relax here before you move further south to your accommodation in Margaret River.

From here, decide between shopping for food (if you are not eating out for dinner and the breakfast next day) or cheong more places.

I'll share a few places I found lovely to my own tastes. You can try them or visit other places on the brochures (can easily find them at Info Centres on the way)

a) Gracetown - lovely little village on the hills by the sea. Great for couples, still great for families.

b) Ngilgi Cave - It's a bit annoying to drive back northwards but it's worth the trip, in my opinion. Nothing like that in Singapore. If you rather save the effort, you can try the following;

c) Lake Cave/Jewel Cave/Mammoth Cave

d) Hamelin Bay - Good rest place

e) Cape Leeuwin Lighthouse - see the century old lighthouse and watch the intersection where two oceans meet.

Remember, a Perth trip is a holiday for relaxation. I'll always advice anyone who ask for my opinion to take it easy and not to 'interest-rush' like how many of us Singaporeans do in our overseas trips. Don't do that here because there are places in the world designated for that. WA isn't one of them. To get your money worth for this trip - relax.

Since I moved to Perth almost three years ago, I used to laugh at a few Singaporean Chinese migrants for their old beliefs, such as avoiding moving into their new house during the 7th Lunar Month or rolling pineapples around shouting auspicious slogans just before the move among the others. I couldn't help asking one such Singaporean if he avoids banana plants at night, just in case he bumps into an Ang Mo Pontianak. As silly as that sound, consider how some believe in the idea of Chinese God of Fortune with a large beard and happy grin travelling all the way to Australian soil to bless their homes with luck and fortune. Curiously so far, I've yet to see anyone burning paper offerings to the dead during the 7th Lunar Month in Perth. I can't decide if that is consumerism (or the lack of) at work or the Gate of Hell just happen to be situated right beneath Singapore.

Having said that, there is nothing wrong in carrying out old traditions even after we migrate to Australia as long as it does not inconvenience, offend or harm the others in any way. In fact, all migrants of different nationalities bring their culture over some way or another. For example, my Afghan colleague insisted in buying house with a dual-living area despite the scarcity of such designs in the resale market because in he claimed that in Afghani culture, regardless of marital statuses, men and women must be clearly segregated in different areas of a house during a social gathering. Then you'll see the Irish in Perth still drinking the world away.

Over the last few days, I received advice from mothers of all ages out of their kind intentions. Two doses of those came from both our mothers, of course and that was to treat Jen's miscarriage like a childbirth in terms of recovery procedures. You see, it is a Chinese tradition to carry out a 'confinement period' usually of one full month for a woman who went through a child delivery. During labour, a woman loses a lot of blood as well as a drastic hormone change. Thus, it is a common practice for Chinese families to carry out confinement for the new mother to assist her in recovering her physical and emotional strength.

Now the problem is, many practices were passed down and followed faithfully across generations. While the practices are clear, their original intentions become ambiguous or even illogical today. One reason could be the variations between practices among different ethnic groups living in difference provinces of China in the olden days. When it comes to common cuisine, the differences in methodology or ideology across different parts of China are palpable. These could be originated from the differences in culture, preferences or even resource restriction across different parts of China. As they migrate to the melting pot of Singapore, these Chinese migrants continue to carry out their old practices according to their dialect groups. By the time the boundaries of Chinese ethnic groups in Singapore becomes a blurry line today, new Chinese parents have a hard time dissecting truths from myths, logic from superstition in regards to confinement practices.

I promised the mums I would try my utmost to ensure Jen a proper confinement period. I don't have a choice. We are all alone and I'm the only one around for her now. There is no way I will want to trouble V, who is busily packing for her permanent move back to Singapore. Though Miss Fiona offered to be my backup confinement lady, she simply live too far away from me for a guiltless arrangement. 

Jen joked that I might be the first confinement man in Perth. No, I was sure I wasn't the first and I will not be the last too. I thought over it and decided I might as well record my ups and downs during the coming month as a confinement man. I know these logs will be unlikely to be useful to anyone else in future so this project sounds like a waste of time. However, if we do have another successful child birth in the future, I will be the beneficiary. I believe helping myself is a good reason enough to work on this.

Thus for a month to come, I'll be working on The Clueless Confinement Man. Since it will be of no interest to you, you may want to come back here again in a couple of weeks later. Seeya.

There I was, standing along in my balcony. What I faced was a Spring night with wind gusts up to 100km/h. There were warnings of severe weather all day long. Just across the road, I could see the tall bushes in swaying violently in the shadows, under the mercy of the impending storm. How apt the weather in analogous to that of my mood tonight.

Slowly, I placed the lit candle I was given by the hospital on the steel bench. With the glass frame as backing, even the harrowing winds could do nothing to extinguish my flame of remembrance. I had my eyes shut and gave a minute of silence. It was anything but silence as the winds howled threateningly and gashed my skin with chilled stabs but it did nothing but strengthened my resolve to continue.

I went inside and saw Jen coming out from Albany's bedroom. The little one was finally in deep slumber. I took Jen by the hand, slipped her hood over her head and slid the door open. We stepped out quietly to the balcony. Jen was a tad surprised to see a candle burning but instantly understood its purpose. I placed my arm over her shoulders and Jen hugged me tightly. Tears immediately welled up in my eyes. The flickers of the candle became glowing round balls in my vision.

I did not forget the simple words of the old friend. Despite how well Jen took it, let there be a tiny outlet, a brief moment to grief. We remained hugged and silent for over a minute. Then I ushered her inside, as she was not supposed to be exposed to the cold. Somehow, within the chaos storm, I managed to find peace. 

I will be keeping vigil tonight till the last flicker.

For now, for love, forever, for my lost child.

Our memories of you will always be a part of us

Grace turned up at 6am in the morning with puffy eyes. Good ol Grace, always offering help in such a way we couldn't say no to. She would take a nap until little Albany woke, then dress her and send her to the childcare centre. With that, I drove Jen to the hospital in Ugly Green.

The winds were fast and furious that morning. No doubt, an impending storm would hit Perth and the its south-west coastal regions by nightfall. As we chose a inland route, traffic was surprisingly smooth and well protected from the harm of the wind. We reached the hospital 15 minutes before our schedule.

I could recall my own surgery a year ago. It was as early that. I remembered telling Jen to leave immediately so that she would not see how fearful I was. I felt like cow in the slaughterhouse. Unlike me, Jen was positive and courageous throughout the procedures. She almost looked like she was looking forward to it. Just about the same time, I received a message from a old friend from Singapore. She told me she knew how Jen would be feeling though she 'said nothing' so far. I made a mental note of what the dear old friend said.

I left King Edward Hospital at 740am. The plan was to buy some groceries, especially the most important ingredient for the next weeks to come - the ginger. I thought it was a good idea to stop by the house to take a leak and rest a while. To my surprise, I received a call at 950am after I sat down for several minutes in front of my computer. It was from the hospital. The nurse informed me Jen did really well and was out resting in a bed. I told the nurse I would be on my way right after that call.

I decided to take the coastal route. It was then I witnessed the preview of the storm. The skies were grey and the wind made whistled as Ugly Green bashed through the random vortexes at 100km/h. Como Beach was nothing like the placid scene we witnessed that last Summer dawn. Instead, waves were roaring towards the shore, hitting the breakwaters hard and their last crest remains licked the left lane of Kwinana Highway and the vehicles travelling on it. Ugly Green stood on its own against the strong wind all journey. It passed its first test as a great car for me.

At the end of the rough drive, I saw Jen beaming at me when she first spotted me. She was in great shape. Before long, she got dressed and we left the hospital before noon.

I grew up in Singapore hearing about how Australia was a great place for retirement. I suppose back in those days, a Singaporean who received his golden handshake could easily buy a big house on a large plot of land for $100,000 in Australia and live happily ever after. So the story went. 

The sentiments never changed till today. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still receiving emails from hopeful Singaporeans telling me how they love life in Australia as they seen it during their holidays. Still, I'm hearing folks asking me why I moved to the "slow land" they would only consider to go in their candles are burning short. Is it really that simple? I thought probably not, financially at least.

The last time (today) I meddled around real estate websites, I found that standard "4x2" houses were in the $500,000 price zone at modest suburbs in Perth. The better suburbs will cost even more. I put on my Singaporean cap and tried my best to recall the standard mentality of my people. A checklist would look like this;

1. Buy a house - Must

2. No apartments. Because enough of HDB living. Land - Must

3. Land doesn't depreciate. Houses do. So land is a must. No land no go.

So if Ah Hock sells his house 25 years later at $1.06 million, how much money did he really make? Let's see.... Ah Hock would tell me, "I bought my house 550k, I sold at 1.1mil, I made 550k leh, sibei song! Singaporean mathematics. Top 10 in the world. No wonder creative accounting in big back home. Let's just leave this at that to make Ah Hock feel better since regardless of who paid what, Ah Hock would have $1.06 million of asset on paper. I have been wondering really hard if anyone would pay that amount of take a 25 year old house off the books. Will Ah Hock lose money if valuation amount to only $1million? Optimistic ones will even tell me it could go at $1.5mil by then. Maybe. Maybe not. I have no crystal ball to peer into.

Whatever will be, the figures are telling enough to inform me that the old notion of Australia being a place for retirement will be completely irrelevant in a matter of 1-2 decades, if not already. Having the privilege of coming from Singapore, I could see where this is leading to. The question is, would the others and how would they position themselves in their own strategies?

I was greeted in bed this morning. It was Father's Day in Australia. With a heavy head, I tried to response but with a badly swollen uvula, it seemed like a bad idea. So I licked my dry lips and caressed Albany's head on my chest instead. At least I still have her. We would spend one quiet Sunday together and visit the hospital to terminate our pregnancy the next day. I didn't know how I was suppose to feel this Father's Day.

I didn't feel good using the word terminate. It was the GP who first brought that up when he referred us to some private "termination clinic" in Midland. I simply stated expressionlessly at him and headed for home quietly when our conservation ended. Instead of providing emotional support for Jen, I brooded for at least a fortnight. I didn't want to make decisions anymore. I had been mentally drained these days. Being far from my physical top form didn't help matters. Jen had to do the calls, ask questions and make arrangements herself. Such strength. What can I do without her. 

She later informed me the hospital would be charging us $700 if our private health insurance did not cover this aspect of medical need. Both of us agreed the last thing we wanted to do was to find out. It was those kind of situation where the lesser spoke about it, the better. All we knew that we wanted to put our fates to the hands of King Edward Hospital, which dealt with Albany's tricky birth with class. As a bonus, our bills would be covered under Medicare.

One may argue healthcare in Australia is by no means free. The government make us choose between getting private health insurance or pay a levy for Medicare. It works out that we have upfront costs even we haven't use any medical service. Clearly, that is money down the drain for lucky folks in a pink of health for the entire year but when it comes to moments of need, I can't describe in words the relief of not worrying about medical fees. For my case, from the procedures of detecting to dissecting my cancer tumor, I did not pay a single cent out of my pocket. For Jen's case, we paid nothing for endless of visits to the GP as well as the blood tests and ultrasound scans.

With a heavy heart, Father's Day will be brought to an end within a few hours. My only hope is that my wife comes out safe and sound the next day. If a Father is entitled of a good solid wish, let this be it. That is all I ask for.

Of my 2.5+ years of fatherhood, I had dealt with regular outbursts from my baby but I had never witness one like that. Albany cried non stop, kicked out at me and was basically non-negotiable. She would not be left anywhere else other my chest, wrapped tightly by my arms. Even so, she would cry less, not stop until she fell asleep temporarily. On several occasions, she woke again and yelled the house down.

It was clear that Albany was unwell. Even as inexperienced as we were, it was obvious. We were prepared for nights like that when we decided to put Albany to childcare once or twice a week to allow her to pick up some social skills and independence. The feedback given to us so far had been raving in terms of her ability to adapt, eat, sleep and play. As expected, soon enough she had occasional light flu or cough which went away without much fuss. Her ailments that night would have little to do with childcare.

When Albany began to point to her ears, my worst fears were confirmed. When I was in my teens I experienced one ear infection that literally brought me to the ground. The pain was excruciating, as if a beetle entered my ears and decided to dig its way to my brain alive. I was at the clinic at Teck Whye as the earliest possible. To my despair, the staff told me the doctor would be arriving only 1.5 hours later. Why the fuck did they open the clinic if there are no doctors willing to turn up within 30 minutes really? Did they expect a red carpet treatment and a hormat senjata from the patients as well? 

I couldn't recall what and why but the next thing I knew, a staff tapped my arm and asked me why I was lying on the floor, under the legs on the chairs in the waiting aisle. Before I knew it, I was ushered to the doctorless doctor's room and invited to lie at the examining bed. I didn't know how long I stayed on the bed. but I suppose I was the first patient to greet the doctor horizontally for a while then. I was told my right ear had an infection.

I measured that if Albany had anything like my stage of infection, she would be crying till her face turned purple. So if there was an infection, it would be a slight one. On top of that, I found a skin split on each of her ears, just at the intersection of the ear and face. Pain could only be the result when her tears and sweat came into contact with the hairline cracks. With my own splitting headache due to fever/flu and a toddler's non stop screeching, Jen and I began to argue before long. Since we tried every trick in the book, we concluded we needed help.

Within 30 minutes or less, a man was towering over me in my house, watching his patient who had just dozed off in my arms. She woke after some probing and checking and began to wail, though a bit reserved as she observed a stranger in the house. The doctor gave his diagnosis and advice and left. We did not have to pay for his service. It was bulk billed under some scheme that I had no idea of, just like all the baby health checks at the child health nurses as well as visiting midwives who came everyday for two weeks after childbirth to check on the baby. Miraculously, Albany fell asleep till dawn after I applied some vaseline on the cracks on her skin. The doctor thought he could see slight infection in the ear that could go away by morning else we could consider giving her light doses of Panadol.

Fortunately Albany recovered quickly and became chirpy the next day. It wasn't over yet as her nose was still drippy but at least she slept without making much fuss that night. The after-hours visiting doctor service was amazing new hapless parents with no elders around to turn. A bright spark to an otherwise depressing month so far.

1.       Is there any issue for us as parents to renew his passport this year perhaps in Sep or Oct 2014? I am not sure if ICA would allow it since he has a passport validity of another 3 years.

2.       I have heard about ‘exit permit’ for those who have sons that will need to serve NS. Is this necessary and if yes, how do we go about to apply this for him?

Hi,

You cannot be a regular reader of the site as you claimed as you will have gather that there is no topic I regarded in disdain more than NS. But since you sent me your email in a nice readable format,

1) Don't renew his passport but please don't ask me why.

2) If you are born as a cursed Singaporean male slave, you will need to apply for an exit permit if you intend to travel or remain overseas for 3 months or longer if you are between 13 and 16.5 years old. If you are remaining overseas for 2 years or longer, your parents/guardians will also need to furnish a bond, in the form of a Banker's Guarantee of S$75,000 or 50% of the combined annual gross income of both parents for the preceding year, whichever is higher.

Whether you planned it or not, your tentative departure date seems to allow you to dodge the hassle of dealing with ns.sg, at least for that big trip being concerned. I do not know whether you will be required to apply for his exit permit when he reaches 13 years old. Call up and find out by then. My guess is you will be told to do so. If so, just do it annually over the years till he decides to renounce his Singaporean citizenship by 21 or return to Singapore to do his national service if he wishes to.

I know I haven't been blogging much of late because my mind is elsewhere at the moment but no, blogging about NS issues is the last thing on my list. I'll rather blog about inserting cockroaches into my colleagues' lunch boxes when they are not looking. I'll think over the HDB issue that you suggested. Thank you for the ideas.

To be honest with you, it is a very bad time to ask me about education because my daughter is still young so I am not into finding out more at the moment. Moreover, my mindset about education is quite different from the majority of Singaporean parents so my advice will be next to useless to you. Nonetheless regarding schooling in Perth, there is nothing to worry about if you do not carry the old Singaporean parents' mindset along with you. There are schools in almost every suburb, if not all, in the Perth metropolitan. If you are bent on the 'best school chase' mentality, there is also nothing to worry about if you are loaded with cash or lending abilities. The obvious suburbs for you to move to then (since you prefer SOR), will be Willeton, Rossmoyne and Shelley etc. For folks who are unwilling to fork out the money for this purpose, they move to the next tier (i.e Canningvale for Caladenia Primary and so on). It is easy to spot the trend after you are here for awhile. Just go where the Asians stay around. For me, I'll turn the other way.

If you want my unqualified advice, I'll strongly encourage you to visit the schools personally, talk to the staff, observe the children and exercise your judgement. I challenge you to be your own woman instead of relying on hearsay or ratings. Then move to the suburb you can afford with a school nearby that you are comfortable letting your children learn and grow up in. 

Don't limit yourself to the regular names. Go up to Lesmurdie if you have to. Oooh, what a nice place.