The Ritual of Remembrance

There I was, standing along in my balcony. What I faced was a Spring night with wind gusts up to 100km/h. There were warnings of severe weather all day long. Just across the road, I could see the tall bushes in swaying violently in the shadows, under the mercy of the impending storm. How apt the weather in analogous to that of my mood tonight.

Slowly, I placed the lit candle I was given by the hospital on the steel bench. With the glass frame as backing, even the harrowing winds could do nothing to extinguish my flame of remembrance. I had my eyes shut and gave a minute of silence. It was anything but silence as the winds howled threateningly and gashed my skin with chilled stabs but it did nothing but strengthened my resolve to continue.

I went inside and saw Jen coming out from Albany's bedroom. The little one was finally in deep slumber. I took Jen by the hand, slipped her hood over her head and slid the door open. We stepped out quietly to the balcony. Jen was a tad surprised to see a candle burning but instantly understood its purpose. I placed my arm over her shoulders and Jen hugged me tightly. Tears immediately welled up in my eyes. The flickers of the candle became glowing round balls in my vision.

I did not forget the simple words of the old friend. Despite how well Jen took it, let there be a tiny outlet, a brief moment to grief. We remained hugged and silent for over a minute. Then I ushered her inside, as she was not supposed to be exposed to the cold. Somehow, within the chaos storm, I managed to find peace. 

I will be keeping vigil tonight till the last flicker.

For now, for love, forever, for my lost child.
Our memories of you will always be a part of us