10 Ways to Survive the MDA Cull

The hottest topic yesterday was the Government's biggest culling exercise since the Great Singapore Bird Culling Exercise 2003. This time, it wasn't the birds, but the voices that leaked from the propaganda shield. We have seen this coming, the bringing of the Age of Dark. However, in darkness, there will always be sparks of light to keep the hopes alive. We will rebuild and emerge stronger from darkness. Before that, survival first.

10 Ways to Survive the MDA Cull
by asingaporeanson

Go Fiction

Some of us can resort to turning fiction. It is "News Website" and 50,000 unique IP visitors today but it could would be socio-politcal sites, blog tomorrow. It may even changed from "News" to anything under the sky. Remember how they raise the CPF bar whenever they like it? We never know when MDA will send a $50k bill to our way when we include the lyrics of "Count on me, Singapore," in our new sing-a-long Singapore blog. So, we can consider turning fiction to survive online. The new Singapore will be the Island of Sodor and Yakult Ibrahim will be Gordon.

Yakult Ibrahim

Substitute 'Singapore' with North Korea

So long you do not include the word "Singapore", you will do fine - for now. So using the "replace with" function of your friendly MS Words, change all your "Singapore" to "North Korea" and the Singaporean-sounding names to kimchi names. So all those fuckers' names will read like Kim Swee Say, Gan Kim Jong, Lee Park Yew, Vivian Fuckahyuna the North Korean of Japanese descent who somehow landed in the North of Korea. 

Go Underground

Learn from the Vietnamese. Guerilla is the way to go if you wish to stand against an enemy much stronger. These meant that the likes of TRE and TOC will not be able to stand tall like before and switch to living underground like Dwarves, Asurans and rodents. There is no shame in survival.

"Websites 49999"

Program a website to cease and continue operation at another URL with another name with completely the same content after it hits 49999 unique visitors. All clone sites will be rotated once the month is over and the quota is freed.

Learn From Cancer Cells

If you know cancer, when a cancerous tumor is removed, there are tendencies many other micro ones will start forming along the lymph nodes. As time goes on, these tiny ones grow to be large tumors. By then, no amount of engineering can prevent death. So MDA think they are really smart to implement their new policy? They don't know what is coming their way. Everyone should blog. It doesn't matter if you have only 10k or 20k or just 5k visitors a month. Every bit is significant. Don't wait for tomorrow. 


Will MDA ask Facebook to pay a $50,000 performance bond? The question should be will Facebook even bother.

Email News Feed

No websites? No problem. We don't even have to disseminate messages through mooncakes these days. We are run our websites without a website. No information will be published publicly but will be sent via email or even direct to mobile phones. Three cheers to the information age! Talking about the information age, we seemed to be the only country taking a step back in light-speed information transfer where every other country is investing in it to gain an edge over their competitors. Anything to stay in power. Nothing is too expensive.

Be a Waggy Wag Dog

If you think you cannot bear breaking apart a painstakingly built website, change your tune and be a dog and post sweet lies like Fabrications About the PAP. You will be surprised you will not be asked to pay $50,000 even if you spam news everyday to millions of visitors a day. The key here, if we don't realise already, is not about the news that you post up. It is about the right news.

Back to the Forums

The roots of blogs and websites are the bulletin message boards. Traditionally, forum operators do not post anything, they moderate. Information on message boards are posted by users. Exchange of information and ideas can be done as effectively through forums as blogs. It worked and still works and remains an option today.


The most hassle free way to solve your problem. Vote the PAP out in 2016. Remember, if the PAP has no qualms taking away truths from the people to remain in power, they have no qualms to take away ANYTHING from you when it is necessary for them to do so. It is all in your hands Singaporeans. Be repressed and continue to be deprived a better life you worked hard for, or do the right thing to vote for change.

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