A Singaporean In Australia

Time flies. My little ones are 7yo and 3yo already. The little one is bold and sociable. Over the past week, he spoke more to my Airbnb guest than me. He would greet them with a resounding, "Hello!" and started giggling. Then he would tell them random stuff, such as introducing them his breakfast box and inform his listeners that his dad prepared that for him and other things that came to his little mind. The guests, especially the lady, seemed to have taken a liking for him and was heard to chat with him. Fortunately in this aspect, he isn't a chip of the old block. It would be dire if both kids take on my unsociable traits. You can teach and coach kids plenty of things. However un-sociability is one of the hardest thing to coach out of a child. For that reason, I tried changing myself to set a better example for them.

My little girl is shyer in contrast. However, she isn't shy by nature. I notice she is just a little slower to warm up to people. After that happens, she is very friendly. She can articulate herself a lot better than I could when I was her age. That is why I find it a shame if she might not be able to present her thoughts and ideas to her actual potential because the discomfort of talking to strangers becomes the barrier. So I tried helping her to be comfortable in expressing herself because I know how miserable one can feel in certain times or situation in life when one has things to say but has neither the courage nor the skills to deliver the message in the desired manner. I let her practice that by taking videos of her doing what she enjoys - cooking (specifically, learning to, at this stage). Some of the videos at available in my youtube channel Daddylympics [link] Go watch and subscribe to the channel if you are interested. I took the videos and edit them myself. I do not have any experience prior to doing the first few videos but it has been an interesting learning experience for me. Of course, I hope to improve the quality of the videos in time to come.

Over the years, there were times I felt I didn't do enough to document my kid's childhood. It would be a pity if they have nothing to look back on in future when they grow up. With this channel, they will be able to understand their childhood, as well as their parents, a little better as these little trail provides them the pieces for them to put together and interpret in their own ways.

For the past few weekends, I would persuade little Albany to buy grapes at a roadside stall outside a vineyard after her swimming lesson. We live amongst vineyards so doing the harvest seasons, there will be scores of these opening for business to sell their grapes directly to public and boy, you bet we are happy to buy. They are good, really good. You have to try them to understand.

Anyway in the beginning, I demonstrated to her how to buy grapes. Before I do that, I squatted down and put my arms over the shoulders and told her to observe what I would be doing and told her the reasons for doing so. After I bought the grapes, I pulled her to one side and gave her a debrief. I encouraged her to ask me questions so I could answer any on the spot so that she would benefit visually from my explanation as well.

The following week, I asked if she wanted to buy grapes. She hesitated but eventually said she was willing to give it a go if I were to go with her. So I did but I stayed behind her. She was nervous and soft but managed to buy her grapes after a struggle. Another round of debrief.

Another week passed. This time, I told her she was ready to do it solo. I gave her $10 and told her we would stay in the car and she would go to the stall with money, taste the grapes, choose the species she like and buy as much as what $10 could buy her. Upon the successful completion of her quest, she would be rewarded with $0.50 from the leftover change.

Eventually she came back with a tray of grapes. Needless to say, we were pleased and proud of her for trying. I asked her to help herself to the delicious grapes she chose. That afternoon, she dropped another shiny $0.50 coin in her piggy bank.

A friend from the past gave me a job lead. It was a contracts administrator role in a company specialising in cladding fabrication and installation. While I do have an idea on such products and handled installation projects of similar nature in Singapore, I know almost next to nothing what a contracts administrator does.

Contract administration was one of the subjects I fell asleep almost every lecture during my poly days. I passed that subject by memorising shit wholesale. In a nutshell, I learnt nothing. That is why I always advocate learning to learn. I am a good example why learning to pass exams is really a bad idea. Unfortunately dumb parents are still pushing for their kids to do exactly what I did. I sincerely hope for better outcomes for their children.

If I were to see this type of job posting on the internet 1000 times, I will avoid applying for it 1000 times. Simply because, there is no chance in hell I would be considered for an interview anyway. It is better to save everyone's time. However, I will do so for this job lead because a friend bothered to link me up with it. I have to return the respect by making the effort to do so, at the very least.

I didn't make much changes to my one-page resume. It listed my previous jobs and highlighted my terribly flawed career like a spotlight. In all honesty, I wouldn't hire myself if I were a boss. There isn't much I can do about that though, unless I decide to lie and fabricate things I didn't do.

The cover letter was where I really struggled. I couldn't even write a single line, just like what I experienced when I tried blogging again after a long layoff. In the end, I decided to do it differently. I wrote my cover letter just like a blog post, albeit a little more formal - less the vulgarities of course.

In the cover letter, I told the reader what I did before I migrated to Perth 8 years ago. Those few years were the only part of my work life that I gained some experience remotely relevant to this job I was applying for. I outright state I have never work a day as a contract administrator in my life before and I spend the rest of the space telling him why I think I can do it - in a formal way but it essentially means I think I am an expert in picking up things I have never done before. I ended up telling him I felt excited (I honestly did) seeing his company's projects photographs on his website because it reminded me of my projects in Singapore.

I think that's the best I could have done.

If you are new to Airbnb's host interface, the dark green part indicates days you are booked on your calendar. I'm new to this too but someone from Malaysia booked our room for 50 nights!

That's highly unusual. We had a little joke the previous evening what we thought about it but at the end of the day, a joke is a joke. As hosts, we will remain professional and will not pre-judge any guests unless there is a clear red flag screaming at us. It is human nature to be imaginative and curious. Sometimes you wonder about things that are none of your business.

The good thing about this booking is, we'll have a clearer idea how we feel about people coming in and out of our house while we live in. Come to think of it, we always had someone with us for considerable periods here. So this will not be something entire new. The only difference is that this time the accommodation we are providing will be rated and reviewed. Not only that, but us as host as well. That doesn't feel so comfortable anymore does it? Well, it's a good way to find out if you are an asshole I guess. If you feel you are one, maybe you can join Airbnb as a host like me to confirm it. Tell me when your get your certification of truth. Haha. Then we'll all call you asshole. Ok, the deal is, if/when I do, I'll let you know too.

Another good thing about the booking is, the room will be occupied for some time. You don't really want your property to be vacant for too many days, do you? However, there is a slight problem. As we are a new account, what we need now is shorter stays so we can get as many (good) reviews as we can in a shorter period of time before our "new" tag is removed. I read that our listing will be difficult to find once we are not tagged as a "new" account. Unless of course, there has been plenty of bookings and good reviews. That is how the algorithm works in apps like that these days. Nothing new there.

So any one of wants to book a room in mid May this year to help out?

It comes with a plate of free Char Kuay Teow ok?

Sigh.

I'm not sure why folks in the whatsapp group keep posting Singapore related news. Truth to be told, I'm disconnected from anything SG for more than 2 years now. All my life, we have been told Singapore changes are break neck pace. I found out later that only applies to infrastructure. You know, roads, buildings, stuff like that. When it comes to humanities, hardly.

Just a month or two ago, my family visited Angie's, to welcome them back from a long Singapore trip. After dinner, they watched some Mediacorp serial drama.

"Wtf?" I remembered myself thinking.

Well, apparently our friends watched that serial every night while they were in Singapore and that night when we visited happened to be the final episode so they wouldn't want to miss that. That wasn't the point I brought this up. I watched about 3 minutes of that episode not to find out what was it about but to see what had changed in Singapore since.

Nothing. I saw a familiar style of shooting and story telling, same accent and pace of speaking, all the same old faces, only with just a little more wrinkles. Nothing much has changed. I could have swore I that although I left Singapore for 7 years, it didn't feel like a day when I watched that drama serial with Angie and family.

The people and their ways rarely change in Singapore. Some random folks once suggested Singapore doesn't have a culture. I think we can't say that now. We do have a fixation with the way we think and run things. That's culture. Whether or not it is in a form rich enough to be appreciated, that's another point altogether.

So news feed by the most chatty group of Singaporean men I ever seen informed me that some dude in Singapore suggested he wanted to throw an egg at Shanmugam. Talking about the police in Singapore, I remembered years back when my sister reported my dad to the police because he raised a chopper at my mother. However, the police took no action because it was a "domestic affair." Apparently, raising a chopper wasn't Mens Rea enough for the police but the suggestion of throwing an egg at that evil serpent was. Of course, of course. You know what? Ask his wife to smack an egg on his head at home then.

You know, my mother is made of tough material. After all, she gave birth to the 3 of us. However, she wasn't as tough as Khaw Boon Wan, who endured a fracture more painful than going through labour. I can accept that, since Khaw is one of the Superheroes of Singapore. Each member of our Singapore Superheroes is infused with a steel hide that allows that to say the most embarrassing, cringey and shameless statements without flinching. So when Khaw says something is painful, you bloody well agree it is. If you are a ball carrying public doctor, tell him it is more painful than hanging yourself to the ceiling using fishing hooks. You may get your private clinic soon.

By that, I can't fathom how an egg is going to even make a scratch on Shanmugam, one of the Singapore Superheroes who can activate a defense system like the Israeli Iron Dome from his forehead. In fact the potential egg thrower should be worried. For he would experience far more pain than what Fraser Anning's had dished out against Eggboy. I guess the police was sent to protect that 20 year old netizen from harm. "Eh, boy, relek lah! Don't throw egg lah! Otherwise pantat pain pain lah!

Fortunately for the Singapore Eggboy wanabe, our caring police saved him. That should have be Straits Times' headline. What's up with them? Standards have dropped.

Oh by the way, if you ever visit the hospital that Khaw went to, help me check out how buffed the doctors are. They must have huge, bulging arms to be able to carry balls to such high standards.

If you are discouraged at this particular point of your life and happen to stumble upon this post, it happens for a reason. You see, I used to believe in coincidences. Later on, I don't believe in that anymore. Fate works in mysterious ways and we mere mortals more often than not, have no answers for events upon us. We like to call the most improbable ones coincidences because we cannot fathom the possibility of so many things happening at the right place and the exact time. Nonetheless, the purpose of this post is not a debate on whether a coincidence is a supernatural phenomenon or a series of cause and effect.

When I was young, someone once told read me a quote, "If in doubt, don't. If still in doubt, do what's right."

Sounds about right, until I grew up to realise not all smart-sounding quotable quotes are wise. In fact, many are actually fundamentally stupid. The one above is one. If in doubt, don't. Don't what? Don't proceed? Don't stop? Don't doubt? Do what's right? What's right to whom? Who decides what's right? If you ask me, the doubtful are usually not in the right frame of mind to decide what is right most of the time. I think I am the best person to tell you this and I write this post to remind myself - and you - to keep moving, doubt or not doubt.

There is this quote from Jung, 1969, that there is no linear evolution; there is only the circumambulation of the self..." June had this idea that each and everyone of us has a potential, future self in a form of everything we could be. That is not the same as saying we could be anything we want. I don't believe in that. In fact, that sounds like a line straight from the snowflake generation, many of which follow a similar sort of mantra only to fall into great disappointment and left uninspired, demotivated and broken. Well, we need to understand the difference between being anything we want to be and anything we can be. The former involves the breaking of limits and often - depending on what you envisage to be - include limits way beyond the realms of possibility. The latter focus on fulfilling our potential, that itself involves the breaking of limits because the journey to our maximum potential is extremely difficult itself.

That is why this insight allows us to focus on ourselves, instead of comparing ourselves to external variables. It gives us the stability of the mind to concentrate on fixing what has broke and building new blocks to stand on and new steps to climb. Our full potential manifest itself through tiny blocks in the form of tiny moments to moments, like an animation, in our present life. It does so by making us interested in things. These things would guide us along the path to lead us to maximal development.

However, we have to understand that human being naturally suck at doing new things. We look like complete fools when we try to do something new. The older we are, the most idiotic we look. Have you ever taught an elderly how to use a smart phone? Did you remember wondering why he or she was struggling to simple concepts that felt like fish to water to you?

In any tarot cards deck, The Fool is numbered 0 in the deck. It represents unlimited potential. That is our position whenever we try to learn something new. To grow, it is paramount to adapt to constantly being the fool, for it is easy to mistaken the honing of certain skills for the plateaus we are moving on for a longest time.

When we take the role of a fool, any idea we want to work on will seem to be a stupid idea and we are probably correct. The probability that - as we move forward in our adventures - that we are going to get it right the time time, is close to zero. That is why using failure as a stick to beat ourselves is the stupidest thing to do. One of most quoted statistics about failures is 95% or 99% - whichever makes you feel better quoting - of the business startups fail within the first 5 years. Moral of the story? Shrug, I don't know. I guess when someone quotes you that, he or she wants you not to give it a try. But you know what? For that 1-5% of the business that succeed today, they were probably part of the 95% that failed within the past 5 or even 10 years and that they never stop learning and be better.

Sometimes we move so slowly that we seem like we aren't moving. That is okay, as long as we move. Procrastination is often equate to laziness. Perhaps, when it comes to boring menial tasks. However when it comes to pursuing a goal, I see procrastination as the embodiment of fear. We should not sit around and wait for things to fall into place because if we do not move along, learn and grow, we will be too stupid to even realise when we have gotten things right. Even if the perfect opportunity manifested itself to us, in our unfulfilled form, the chance that we would recognise it, is close to zero. We might even think it is the worst possible idea we ever heard of. All being said, it is better to do things badly then not doing anything at all. It is never to late to start that journey.

When I was stuck and seemingly trapped in a viscous cycle, I sent messages to people of the past and one of them I knew via this blog long ago, Liz, replied and told me she 'didn't do well' because the plans she told me about a few years back has not materialised because 'she doesn't have enough capital.' She made it sound things were trapped in square one until she told me about her sending herself to a goat grooming course. There she learnt the basics of giving care to goats, which will one day be invaluable when she finally buys her first batch of goats in her future ranch in Malaysia.

She reminded me to take small steps towards my goals. Most importantly, never to stop because walls and chasms are expected in any journeys worth embarking on. These obstacles are the manifestation of the limits of our potentials meant to be broken to unlock the part of us we never know.

It is okay to look like a fool. For that is the way we are created to learn. Keep moving. Keep moving. It is okay to be slow but keep moving.

We put up our listing in Airbnb as a dry run last Friday evening. Our intention was to get our guests from Singapore to book it retrospectively and give us our first review. Must kelong a bit lah, nabei.... if not how to do things? Everything law by law meh? Anyway, our guests really did stay over for 3 nights and we were happy to get their honest reviews. If it wasn't a 5-star review, so be it. At least we will have something to work on, right? So don't point a finger at me and say kelong ok? If you are so free, point at the court at 1 Supreme Court Lane, Singapore.

Our listing was done in a haphazard manner. The photographs were honestly horrible, so were our listing title and description. However, we had to fill those fields up first to get something up. If we were to be so stringent on every detail in the beginning, it will be difficult to get things moving. At least with a listing up, we can pass it on to the friend to ~~kelong~~ write an honest review for us.

Then the surprise...

Before we could even facilitate our plans, we received two rather urgent inquiries from real random Airbnb users. One was rather slow to respond and the other one actually booked our room for a night within minutes. I remember standing in the kitchen confirming with wife, "Huh? Someone coming? 2 o'clock check in? That's 2 hours from now you know?"

She said, "Yah."

Oh boy. So we rushed to get things prepared. Till today, I haven't quite make sense of how things work. I will write in detail once I get the actual figures. It was something like a base fee and + a few dollars for each addition person + a cleaning fee. That would be how much it'll cost the guests. Less some administration charges Airbnb takes away, the nett was something like $80+ for that night. That sounds quite decent but it was only because 5 guests would be squeezing in that room. It was a big room and could accommodate even up to 6 adults so it wasn't the problem. It was a test on how I would feel about the whole arrangement. Up to that point, I was slightly apprehensive but I tried to keep my mind open.

The guest only came around 6pm. It was already getting dark out there. I opened the door and greeted them. Technically I didn't really need to do that because we told them how to get the keys so they could enter the house easy. However, their fumbling with the lock and keys annoyed me a little so I decided I would open the door for them.

It was 5 black guys. I let them in and couldn't help noticing one of them having an extremely strong perfume. It's just me I guess. I am not a fan of such things. The first thing I did was asking them to remove their shoes like an army CSM. It's still my house you know and there are house rules, if not I would have to turn them away.

"Is it safe," wife whispered after seeing the guests.

I nodded and said, "Should be ok."

It felt a little unsafe to me, especially there was not enough time to change my doorknobs to locksets. So none of the rooms in the house, except for the baths and toilets, could be locked. That would be the first priority after the guests leave, of course. However, would anything untold happen to us that night? My gut feel told me we would be just fine. We had made arrangements to sleep in the backroom together. Should anything crops up, I reckoned I could hold the door long enough for everyone to escape via the window by slashing the insect screen open. There is an escape route via the Alfresco and through the garage that the people new to the house wouldn't figure out right away.

However, could I hold 5 guys at the door long enough? Of course. Because the door to my room faces a narrow corridor where only 1 person can engage me at a time. Obviously I couldn't take on 5 men at once but my odds are decent for a 1 v 1 situation. Sun Tzu Art of War : With regard of NARROW PASSES, if you can occupy them first, let them be strongly garrisoned and await the advent of the enemy. Thus, I position my bed on the floor just in front of the door. The first intruder who opens my door shall get his knees shattered by a straight kick and face landing on my elbow when he falls. Over-thinking, yes. But hey, it wasn't as if I armed myself with my chopper in the room or something okay?

The guests went out eventually at around 9pm, shortly after their arrival. Later I found out they booked a venue in the city to celebrate one of their birthdays and didn't come back until 5am next morning. They were quiet because I wasn't awaken by their entry. I slept soundly. I had no reason not to. Remember my gut feel told me the guests were good? I decided to trust my inner voice more sometime back and this would be a situation to prove it.

By 9am they woke and got prepared to leave. I called out to one of the guys to offer their breakfast if they wanted it. They didn't take it up. Eventually, we left house before them because the kids had swimming lessons. By the time we came home, the guests had already left. That was the end of our first booking.

The one who booked our room was sufficiently happy with his staying experience and left a favourable review.

Not sure how many "stars" they gave us in that review. We are still unfamiliar with the app for now. Guess we'll find out later. I was just surprised how quickly things happened, especially there was so many things still work in progress.

One car on the left goes in, one car on the right goes in. It doesn't matter who is faster. As long as we respect this simple rule, merging lanes is a breeze to handle in any traffic condition. Hard to fathom? Yes for me, at least till I experienced driving in Perth. (Note: this isn't about traffic volume, it is about drivers' attitude)

When I first encountered how the motorists in Perth do their merging on highway lanes, I was taken aback. The theory of merging looks like common sense on paper but seeing it in motion felt like well crafted poetry. It felt so seamless, so natural and beautiful. It felt like the locals had been doing that since the beginning of modern transporting. However, I was not blind to the fact that was probably not a given in every part of Australia. (I'm looking at you Sydney) Thus, I am appreciating what I (can still) enjoy here in Perth.

In a society where merging lanes means bringing your cars together centimetres to a grinding incident, I didn't enjoy my merging adventures on Clementi Ave 6 every morning during my driving days in Singapore. As an average Singapore asshole driver, I didn't flinch of course - until the chap with his well polished car decided he wasn't winning that pointless battle and should back off and live to fight another day.

Things like that were moments of fun entertainment during the gruelling, boring drive. I also showed no remorse cutting queues to get out of the highway. Selfishness begets selfishness. I am not making up excuses for myself but I'm saying this as-a-matter-of-factly - I did not start out as a bad driver. In fact, I was pretty good. Technically I was sound. Took lessons and got my driver's license within 2 months at first try, with 8 demerit points where 6 unfairly given.

So you see, this is where we go wrong. We live in a system where our competency is defined by something quantifiable. That by itself is not a problem. The problem is how we qualify what to quantify. If you drive day-to-day in Singapore, you will agree that there are too many out there who should not be qualified to drive a car not because of their poor handling of their vehicles but the terrible decisions that they make. Decisions that at best, annoys the hell out of other commuters and at worst, puts lives in danger. Such things are rarely discussed or even mentioned during the learning stage, be it in theory or practical.

As a driver from hell freshly graduated from Singapore roads, I was quickly reformed on Perth roads in less than a year. The great driving experience in Perth eventually allowed me to see the enjoyable part of driving. A lot of that, I found that, were attributed to how you are treated by other road users. A thumbs up, a wave, a signal to help you overtake, being given way without a grudge .... things like that doesn't just make your ride, it can even make your day. I was even given a hitch TWICE without even asking for it because they could see I was in 'trouble.'

When my Singaporean friends told me the commuting situation in Singapore is irreversible, I do not agree. Once upon a time I felt that there was no way Singaporeans would get on the MRT train in an orderly manner. However, since I left Singapore in 2011, I saw a positive difference during my later visits. It could take a much longer time to develop great driving etiquette in Singapore but it is far from impossible. The first step starts from education. It may be boring but it works. It will take time, a lot of time, to bear fruits but it will be well worth it.

LTA, being the relevant authority, must take the initiative to integrate the scope into the driving learning program. The emphasis for safety is well translated into the curriculum but etiquette is non existent, despite that it holds the key to a much more pleasant drive for everyone in the long run compared to the millions poured into hardware developing and building traffic regulating gantries. Hopefully one day, our authorities will prioritise what is right over what is profitable.

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