A Singaporean In Australia

Sigh.

I'm not sure why folks in the whatsapp group keep posting Singapore related news. Truth to be told, I'm disconnected from anything SG for more than 2 years now. All my life, we have been told Singapore changes are break neck pace. I found out later that only applies to infrastructure. You know, roads, buildings, stuff like that. When it comes to humanities, hardly.

Just a month or two ago, my family visited Angie's, to welcome them back from a long Singapore trip. After dinner, they watched some Mediacorp serial drama.

"Wtf?" I remembered myself thinking.

Well, apparently our friends watched that serial every night while they were in Singapore and that night when we visited happened to be the final episode so they wouldn't want to miss that. That wasn't the point I brought this up. I watched about 3 minutes of that episode not to find out what was it about but to see what had changed in Singapore since.

Nothing. I saw a familiar style of shooting and story telling, same accent and pace of speaking, all the same old faces, only with just a little more wrinkles. Nothing much has changed. I could have swore I that although I left Singapore for 7 years, it didn't feel like a day when I watched that drama serial with Angie and family.

The people and their ways rarely change in Singapore. Some random folks once suggested Singapore doesn't have a culture. I think we can't say that now. We do have a fixation with the way we think and run things. That's culture. Whether or not it is in a form rich enough to be appreciated, that's another point altogether.

So news feed by the most chatty group of Singaporean men I ever seen informed me that some dude in Singapore suggested he wanted to throw an egg at Shanmugam. Talking about the police in Singapore, I remembered years back when my sister reported my dad to the police because he raised a chopper at my mother. However, the police took no action because it was a "domestic affair." Apparently, raising a chopper wasn't Mens Rea enough for the police but the suggestion of throwing an egg at that evil serpent was. Of course, of course. You know what? Ask his wife to smack an egg on his head at home then.

You know, my mother is made of tough material. After all, she gave birth to the 3 of us. However, she wasn't as tough as Khaw Boon Wan, who endured a fracture more painful than going through labour. I can accept that, since Khaw is one of the Superheroes of Singapore. Each member of our Singapore Superheroes is infused with a steel hide that allows that to say the most embarrassing, cringey and shameless statements without flinching. So when Khaw says something is painful, you bloody well agree it is. If you are a ball carrying public doctor, tell him it is more painful than hanging yourself to the ceiling using fishing hooks. You may get your private clinic soon.

By that, I can't fathom how an egg is going to even make a scratch on Shanmugam, one of the Singapore Superheroes who can activate a defense system like the Israeli Iron Dome from his forehead. In fact the potential egg thrower should be worried. For he would experience far more pain than what Fraser Anning's had dished out against Eggboy. I guess the police was sent to protect that 20 year old netizen from harm. "Eh, boy, relek lah! Don't throw egg lah! Otherwise pantat pain pain lah!

Fortunately for the Singapore Eggboy wanabe, our caring police saved him. That should have be Straits Times' headline. What's up with them? Standards have dropped.


Oh by the way, if you ever visit the hospital that Khaw went to, help me check out how buffed the doctors are. They must have huge, bulging arms to be able to carry balls to such high standards.