A Singaporean In Australia

I surprised some of my friends by not joining them in mourning Hillary Clinton's defeat.

Rants aplenty when Clinton conceded. One of them even texted me, "ww3 is coming." In that moment, I felt I needed extra courage to admit, "Er no, I don't like Clinton and am happy that she lost." Trust me, I didn't get very nice responses. I was almost ... demanded ... a rational explanation from one. I didn't realise there were so many that did not see beyond the campaign advertorial, in which Clinton allegedly outspent Trump by 3:1. So, no surprises for the neutrals to think the US has just elected the devil's incarnate for a President. I have never seen such a one-sided set of onlookers before.

I couldn't say I was surprised. Singapore (as well as Australia, in fact) has been a subservient ally of the US of A till date, offering unyielding loyalty at the expense of pissing China off. The new United States as envisioned and represented by Trump will not be something Singapore wants to be closely associated with anymore. That will require our leaders to decide on, "What next?" There is no comfortable answer to the question. No status quo, no business as usual, no wonder my Singaporeans friends are panicking.

I see the fading fantasies of American exceptionalism as a good thing. If anything, it forces us to think harder if we want to remain as their lieutenant in SEA, being surrounded by Muslim countries and China pressing hard to wrest control over the eastern pacific. When the new president thinks that countries like Singapore is stealing American jobs, perhaps for the first time in our history, we should own our trade, defence and foreign policies. That will require much greater intelligence and maturity than has been on offer during the LHL's reign. A much greater challenge than 'fixing the opposition', no doubt. Growing up is never easy.

Fortunately and unfortunately, I suspect even Trump himself is not completely aware of the constraints of his position at this stage. He should be contented if he is able to fulfill even half of his electoral promises (and threats). Mexican walls, banning Muslims and what nots. There are too many layers to contend with for a policy, especially major ones, to be passed. The US President has the influence, but not the absolute power - as most think - to change policies. That being said, Trump has no experience whatsoever in politics. What happens in the next few years will be heavily dependent on who he chooses to be his close advisers. If they are the same old bunch of folks in the political scene, you can bet we will get the same old shit. It can't be worse than having the fraudulent Clinton on board. In fact, it can only be better. Though to be fair, it isn't too difficult to be a better President - at least where me and my interests are being concerned - than Clinton would be.

I was (again) surprised to hear a comment right in my face that she was afraid because Trump has threatened to make the US a 'close economy', and 'a lot of US investments in Singapore will be affected'. I didn't know where she got that from. Perhaps she was referring to Trump's rally against free trade, where he promised to withdraw the US from the North American Free Trade Agreement. If only he can make that happen, that will be great. I wonder how many of us Singaporeans really know what these FTAs are, how they actually work and whether they are beneficial to us individually. I find the blind support of FTAs appalling. I wonder how many of us went through our FTA with India and honestly think, "I fucking love this." We are either complete idiots or have absolutely no clue.

It could be the term being used. Free trade. Freedom. Everyone loves that notion. However, the Trans-pacific Partnership (TPP) has nothing to do with 'freedom' or even 'trade'. Most importantly, it has nothing beneficial to the average Beng on the street as it was reserved for those with vested interest who were involved in the secretive negotiations which we can only find out from Wikileaks. If the TPP is really about promoting what its name suggest, they will never be done in that dodgy manner.

It is equally baffling to hear what my friends say about Hillary Clinton. They talk of her as if she is their favourite Aunt. "At least she won't go to war, unlike the crazy Trump." If anyone is capable of starting a WW3, it is Hillary Clinton, who has aggressively spearheaded the anti-Russian crusade. Promoting conflict to create demand, selling weapons to terrorists, fighting pseudo wars on land faraway where lives are cheap, there is nothing to suggest that bitch Clinton will make a better President than Trump, who will be still figuring out what he is supposed to do by the end of his term.

I received a call from a Singaporean lady in her mid twenties the afternoon before. She wanted to know how "I survived" when I came first came to Perth.

"Where do you find a place to stay?"

"How did you survive without income?"

"How did you know what to do?"

These are questions that every Singaporean who considered moving overseas tend to ask. One distinctive trait I found among this group is the fear of everything and nothing, imagined or real.

We need to understand.

From the beginning of time, human beings migrate. We still do. There is no mystery or witch-brewery over the methodologies. Granted that transborder moves are a little more complicated these days due to varying immigration policies of different governments, and therefore can be restrictive to some individuals, the underlying principals of migration remains the same. In fact, there isn't much deviation from why animals migrate - if we want to look at this in a simpler way.

Most animals migrate to find food or more livable conditions. Some migrate to breed. Some migrate to hibernate. It isn't rocket science. Human beings tend to over complicated the thought process because there are much more important things to be considered in life ... such as iPhones, bubbletea drinks and handbags. Animals on the other hand, do not think about meaningless issues, such as opportunity costs. They do not look for guarantees. Truth to be told, there are no guarantees in life. The Christians will tell me heaven is a guarantee in after-life for devotees who live lives as should be. That is why life can be great at times, with occasional jokes that makes you laugh. Companies that offer warranties or guarantees in modern times, are buying themselves the chance to repair or replace the shitty item they sold you before you start badmouthing their brand. What they have offered is an insurance, not a guarantee. Nobody can guarantee you anything - never forget this.

If you want a job all signed up waiting for you and a house with a waggy dog waiting on red carpet before you will finally migrate out of Singapore, perhaps it is better to remain in dreamland. The acorns on the highest branches will always be plentiful for the squirrel willing to climb higher than the others. Goals worthy to achieve will always be a struggle to reach. There is a reason why it seems so difficult to move out of Singapore. There is a system in place to weed out the weak minded.

Lest the petty starts their rants and twist my words to claim my insinuation that Singaporeans are weak, weak minded in the context of migrating out of Singapore includes a complex array of factors such as a predictable set of living conditions, social, career and financial statuses that grants resistance to the seduction of attractive living environments elsewhere. It is therefore, very unlikely for most Singaporeans in their mid career to drop what they have for un-guaranteed new possibilities.

I gave myself the name, 'Nix' and have been using it for the past decade. The word is meaningful to me and serves to remind me never to forget two values that is important to me. The short form of the mythical phoenix, it symbolises rebirth. While life guarantees nothing, it is in our own hands to pick ourselves up each time we fall, to start from scratch, to rebuild, to live again. Nix is also a German word for 'Nothing'. It reminds me that I am nothing of significance in this world, just a speck of limited lifeforce that will eventually vapourise from the face of Earth. With that, I have no problem whatsoever, giving up my identity or perceived status in Singapore to start as nothing in a new country. Do I give a fuck if I have to work in a factory or a farm? No. Do I worry how my friends in Singapore will view me? No.

Have I worried before if I can actually survive in a totally new environment? Definitely. All time time. In fact, I still do. However, survival is a very broad term across our species. Till date, I haven't know anyone who died on the streets to a migration adventure turned bad. That is a 100% survival rate, pretty much a guarantee if you like such things. How the rest of you Singaporeans define survival, setting the bar too high, is entirely your own problem. Just ask the high jumper when he sets his bar high, if he can guarantee he can clear his jump. He cannot. But he will not stop trying until he clears it. You need not set the bar that high when you migrate. It is not a competition with a gold medal waiting at the podium. However, the rules remain the same. You either die trying or stay at home to watch others do it.

Another important chapter extracted from the Pissed Poor Peasant's guide to the life. Today we'll learn how not to go hungry on our birthdays in Perth.

To many out there, birthday is a big deal. Apparently, it is a special day that they think they are entitled special privileges just because they are born on that particular day some years ago. I don't think that way. Hunger doesn't recognises birthdays. The same goes for illnesses, fucked up drivers and death. When they come, they come. Birthdays also no give face.

Fortunately this time, the world generally doesn't agree with me. In this case, businesses are willing to curry favour with you on the pretext they want to celebrate your birthdays with you, by giving you goodies in return for the goodwill of future business you may do with them. We will be focusing on food, because there is nothing more important than fulfilling the base of the needs pyramid when it comes to being a real Pissed Poor Peasant in Perth. The general strategy is to claim food from nice FnB joints that allows you to do it only your birthday. Then later claim from the others who are willing to let you claim on your birth week, birth month or a few days close to the actual date. +- 1 or 2. Sounds pathetic I know but when that's what you get when you put a kiasu Singaporean and a hungry peasant together.

To cut the shit short, here are some vendors that offers to curb your hunger pangs.

Jester's - Free pie on your birthday. Small one that I can gobble in 2 bites of course.

Miss Maud - Kids under 12 eat for free on their birthday upon joining the Birthday Club.

Panchos - Eat for free on birthday

Baskin Robbins - Free scoop of ice cream valid up to 14 days after your birthday

Boost Juice - Free Boost Juice for Vibe club members (Valid from 2 days before thru 2 days after bday)

Cold Rock - 1 Free Ice Cream on birthday & $10 off Birthday Cake Voucher (must sign up at least 35 days before your birthday)

Gelatissimo - 1 Free gelato in the month of your birthday

IKEA - Free Princess Cake for IKEA Family members (valid for one month)

Jamaica Blue - Free slice of cake for birthday month (collect card in-store first)

Krispy Kreme - Free 6 Pack of Original Glazed Doughnuts

Muffin Break - Free Muffin in the month of your birthday (collect card in-store with a purchase first)

Mrs. Fields - Free cookie on your birthday (collect card in-store first)

Nando's - Free regular meal (regular classic meal includes Classic Burger, pita, wrap or a ¼ chicken or Classic Vegetarian burger or pita + regular side + regular drink) during your Bday month - redeem email which arrives on 1st (collect card in store or download the app) - Must have made transaction within previous 6 months (from 01/10/14)

Noodle Box - $10 loaded onto card no min spend (collect card in-store first)

Salsas - Free burrito from 2 days before to 2 days after birthday (collect card in store or download the app)

Red Rooster - A free meal to celebrate your birthday if you're with the free Red Royalty loyalty program. Expires 30 days after birthdate, and need to show ID at purchase time

San Churro - Free churros for two from 1 day before to 1 day after birthday

Shingle Inn - Free patty cake (i.e. cupcake) and coffee/tea in birthday month

Subway - Free 6-inch sub and 600mL drink/water valid for birthday and up to three days after

Sumo Salad - Free salad (Valid for 7 days from birthday) - collect card in-store first

If you have planned it properly, you would properly not go hungry for a week or two during your birth month. Ah, so that will leave us only 50 more weeks remaining to worry about in a year. Easy peasy.

*thank you Joni for the tips. I hereby give you the honorary membership to the Piss Poor Peasant clan.

Almost 5 years in Perth and not a single post about Kings Park? That must be almost a criminal offence.

After all, Kings Park is the pride of Perth. It is one of the largest inner city park in the world. For a better sense of proportion, it is bigger than New York's Central Park and 4 times bigger than Singapore's Gardens by the Bay. It is quite popular with tourists, visited by some 5 million every year, quite remarkable if you considered it is in the boring, boring Perth that nobody really wants to visit. Kings Park is situated in the heart of the city, right above the hilly region in the west. At its peak, it offers a panoramic view of Perth city, the Swan River and Melville Water. During September of each year, Kings Park hosts the Australia's largest wildflower show and exhibition in a festival.

Before our road trip, I took Tucky and Louise to Kings Park. The weather forecast was terrible for the holidayers. Other than their first full day, the rest of their week here would be rainy, or even stormy on some days. That was the most unfortunate timing, as it seldom rain in Perth throughout the rest of the year. It was natural to want my guests, making a rare trip here, to see the best of Perth and enjoy themselves. The famous clear blue sky that Perth usually offers were not on the plate that day. That did not dampen our spirit, at least it wasn't raining.

The clear blue sky was replaced by a cloudy grey

a looming grey

This location was right in front of the iconic war memorial overlooking the city-scape. Louise and Judy, who wanted to tag along with us, were the obvious photographers. As they snapped, Tucky and I looked around to spot Pokemon Go players. Albany seemed to have a great time playing bubbles with other kids and Puipui dozed off on my chest in his kangaroo bag.

We had the intention to do a BBQ for them that afternoon because it was improbable to do so for the rest of the week. So it was a now and never. I wanted to move to South Perth to do that but decided to give Kings Park a shot, since it was a week day and there wasn't a large crowd. With some luck, we might be able to find a nice spot to cook.

"Why are the BBQ stations so clean?" Judy asked.

"Because the last person who used it cleaned up after himself and we shall do the same."

There are BBQ pits in almost every park around Perth. BBQ is a regarded as a national past time of the Aussies for a reason. One thing I like about it is that the BBQs cannot be booked. I always felt public facilities are built for the people with the taxpayers' money. It is not fair to slap anymore additional charge for using them. That way, amenities like that can be enjoyed by the less privileged, not just the taxpayers themselves. More importantly, the fact that BBQs cannot be booked reflects a few points I hold dear to. One, the people are generally civic minded, take care of these facilities and are willing to share with strangers when there is a crowd. Else it will not be possible to run things the way it is. Two, the population density is at a comfortable level in Perth, such that people do not have to fight for resources. That also apply to other things and not limited to BBQs. This - and I am not referring to the BBQs - is one of the factors why I was very reluctant to let go of and return to Singapore during the earlier years.

Due to the Winter chill, the food took a while to cook. I enjoyed it. I hoped the rest did too.

Though Kings Park spans such a large area, most of the sections are family friendly. There is something anywhere that young children are interested in, be it wide open spaces, low shady trees, safe slopes to slide or roll down, natural playgrounds, water features and plenty of nature, where they actually feel more at home than their adults. This is a good place to observe how Aussie leisure. It is a common sight to see young adults lying on a mat, reading a book, lovers lazing an afternoon actually paying attention to each other, older folks nesting under trees with camp chairs and food reminiscing old times. Kings Park appeals to visitors of any age group.

Thanks Louise for the pictures, I really love them

I really should visit more often. Alas, the visitors during weekends still feel a tad too many for me. I have a low threshold so you'll probably love it. Try it and tell me.

What was supposed to be a simple errand for the wife turned out quite differently. Drive to that address after work, pick up a bicycle, put it in the car, drive home. That was it. Jen wanted to give the bicycle to my MIL, who could use it for her grocery trips. As a dutiful husband, I agreed to take up the errand without hesitation. I had gotten a vague idea about him, apparently a man who collects bikes, fix up and donate them. "That is quite remarkable," I thought, and reminded myself to have a short chat with him before I leave later.

I marveled at my ability to find his place at the first try without a GPS. I must be getting more accustomed to my surroundings. By now, I can remember the sequence and names of every exit of the highways I use. It seems like yesterday when I hardly could even pronounce some of those names properly.

Jeremy the bike man called out from his yard the moment I got out from the car, "Hey buddy!"

"Haaay," I replied, in the usual half-dead manner. "Kolecting bike, hope I'm at the right place."

"Come on in!" he exclaimed. Bikeman was a chirpy middle age man who couldn't stop talking from the first minute. That was perfectly fine with me, so long as I did not have to do the talking.

There was bicycles strewed all over Jeremy's yard. He proudly introduced each of them like a proud father. To mere mortals, they were old bicycles but to the bike man, there was a unique story behind each and every bicycle under his charge, who gave it to him and who was it going to. The corridor that flanked his house was full of bicycle spare parts, hung neatly by type like carcasses in an abattoir's butchery.

"You are getting the 995th bike!" Bikeman beamed. "I shall hit the 1000th by this weekend," he proudly declared. I couldn't help but express my salutation. Bikeman apologised for the dire condition of the bicycle he was about to donate to me. I told him it looked fine to me, thanked him for his kindness and offered a contribution. He politely declined and told me he was not doing that for money but for God. As if he could sense my curiosity, he elaborated and told me it was his calling. You know, how one would receive that sudden beep from Jesus Christ. He did and claimed it changed him from a death metal playing dread lock, filled with full blooded immense hate metal head into a simple Servant of God today. He told me he also received the gift of healing.

"Hmm, really?" I asked. The Servant of God was affirmative and asked if I wanted to try out his laying on hands. Why not? "This place gives me an annoying pain," I pointed to my neck. Jeremy placed both his hands on my shoulders immediately and started to conversing with God in such hurried pace that might put an average rapper to shame. My eyeballs roamed around as I stood, wondering how I was suppose to react. After a few good minutes, the Healing Hand of God asked me how I felt. I moved my head around in hope my HP was fully restored but had to shook my head regretfully to admit, "Nah mate, it didn't work."

"Hmm, that's so strange. I got it working more than 90% of the time. I even healed broken bones before," he wondered. "However, I didn't feel God's power running through me with the same intensity just now, though there were bouts of it. It may require a bit of time before you'll feel a difference." With that, the healer tried a second round of laying of hands on me. Though the result was the same, I appreciated his effort and consoled him, "I guess I have pretty strong demons in me."

"No, I am pretty sure it will work, give it some time."

"Sure thing!" I replied with an honest open mind.

We talked more about his healing gifts and he invited me to his house to see his Book of Healing. There, I was introduced to his beautiful wife and daughter. I saw his a picture of Jeremy in dread locks before he became the Hand of God. His wife looked ravishing then, with their two children posed in front of them. The walls of his house were lined with tall shelves, all fully filled with toys collectibles. "Go on," Jeremy urged, when I asked him for permission to snap a few quick pictures of probably half of his immense collection.

After the toys tour, it was time to get down to business. The Hand of God began to flip his thick Book of Healing and asked me what I was interested in.

"How about eczema?" I asked.

"Hmmm, that's a new one but let's see....," the healer mumbled as he scanned through his content page. "Aha! There we go."

I moved forward slightly to read the headline of a paragraph. It read, "The fear of man and what he thinks of you." The healer then proceed to put things together. He explained that since I developed a serious case of eczema during my SISPEC days in the army, it all makes sense to him because the day I was enlisted into conscription, I lost my identity, freedom and became a cog of the machine. My eyebrow rose at the notion, as it sound exactly like a line from my blog. He continued and told me that I had to do whatever my commander asked of me and naturally there would be fear of men further up the hierarchy and what they thought of me became of utmost importance. "To heal completely, you need to get rid of a negative memory or change it into a positive one," he concluded.

I thanked him for his insight and left, after the Hand of God told me to return if I have any questions for him.

Before I drove off, I noticed the time and made a quick reply to my wife who must be puzzled by my delay. What was supposed to be a simple errand turned out to be a bicycle repair lesson, a toy exhibition, a hand laying and a fortune telling session.

Once again, you'll never know what life will bring along once you start getting outside.

And a bicycle at the back of my car blessed by God

I just downed a keg of water before I wrote this, to increase my resistance to pengsan so you can be sure to read a full post, uninterrupted.

I was told the loony king, if given a chance, would ask God for 2 things, a blessing and wisdom. To bless us with divine discontentment, so that we will never be satisfied with what we have and will always strive to do better and the wisdom to count our blessings, so that we know how precious Singapore is, and how to protect it.

No one has manage to provide a perspicacious definition of the purpose of life. However, we have come close to agreeing that being happy is a decent way to spend our life force. If an individual possess the wisdom to appreciate what he already have, he would have found true happiness from innate contentment, living a life worthy of the Gods. Any material desire provokes a different level of discontentment. The failure to address the desire will lead to regrets. A dying wish of regret is unlikely a happy one. Addressing a desire will yield a temporal false sense of happiness, before the law of diminishing marginal utility eventually kicks in. The individual will then seek more, to curb his material addiction as well as addressing discontentment from perpetual dissatisfaction, peer pressure, jealousy, envy, expectations and stress - the factorised form of "always striving to do better."

It doesn't matter how you package it. Discontentment, divine or not, can never be a blessing but a curse. To ask a population to count their blessings yet be constantly discontented enough to do better is to have the cake and expect to eat it, another way of telling me, "I want you to slog senselessly but don't get pissed off with me when I screw things up for you." It also reaffirm why he has an incurable fetish for hungry lunch stealing foreigners to replace a bunch of peaceful, contented and happy Pokemon Go zombies, an incurable thirst for light-speed progress and the lack of wisdom to count his own truckload of blessings.

I am speaking for myself because I know how painful for it to be so unhappy with life, chasing imaginary rainbows, until it gave me cancer. If I had stayed on in that crazy circus, I would have been dead today. I have been told countless times, both kindly and maliciously, "I'm glad you left." You don't have to tell that to me so many times really. The feeling is mutual.

I don't know why no one stands up and tell the truth - The never ending chase for greater heights is meaningless. We turn to dust at the end of the day and it doesn't even matter if we are thrown into a murky sea or sitting on a high breezy position at Bright Hill. Always striving to do better, as I eventually found out by chance, is just another form of pragmatism - the art of covering gaps with koyok patches.

After I left, I found that my life changes radically. More importantly, it changes who I am radically. It forces me to be summon courage that I never had, it changes how I see myself, the world, other human beings ... and life. Instead of a personal level of pragmatism-going-nowhere, the radical change allows me to reset my life and form a new identity and find myself writing a new life story in a panoramic wide lens and that I have to confront the reality that security and stability is a pricey delusion. It isn't easy to describe the complexity of this realisation. But .... that is when you learn to appreciate contentment in its purest form. Nothing divine about it. Just simplicity.

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