Flip

By now, Albany was able to greet me cheerfully every day when I returned from work. Each time she would take a few seconds to take a careful look of me and then narrowed her eyes and broke into a big smile, very often with a loud 'heh'. When I smiled back, she would start to chuckle. Moments like that could melt all weariness from work and worries about the future.

She fell asleep on my chest several times. It was an amazing feeling having a baby clinging on you, snoring softly. It felt like I meant the world to the baby. It felt that I was special. It made me feel that I could take more damage life wanted to inflict on me. Work didn't feel mundane anymore and time simply passed so quickly that I couldn't make sense of anything sometimes.

29 June 2012 was a special date. It was sometime ago but I never forgot the moment. When I came back from work, Albany decided to display her latest learning. Previously she blew bubbles with gusto when her Daddy peered at her carefully, smearing his face with saliva. To her, it was a skill that she learnt and she was proud of it. Today, she did a flip by herself from lying position to all fours. It was both clumsy yet delightful. She was pleased about what she achieved and broke into loud laughs.

Parenthood felt freakishly frightening. The pressure was unbelievably big and I knew there was more to come. Much much more to come. I felt so tired at times, especially when I was doing night shifts, yet strangely I had never wondered what I had gotten into. I would had kicked myself for living life without experiencing parenthood. Seasoned parents were quick to warn me about the nightmares awaiting for me when the baby is older. Ask any of them if they want to give their nightmares away, not a single one even want to consider the thought.