A Singaporean In Australia

17 September 2011. A day I may not forget in a long while. That was the day we landed in Perth. After a private teary moment I shared with my mum over my final phone call, I took the most sombre flight in my life. Jen and I held hands and spoke little throughout the flight. She could be sleeping but I wouldn't know, as I was lost in my own deep thoughts. 

That was a leap of faith, no doubt about it. I felt neither fear nor excitement, just wondered hard what would be. I was hopelessly lost in Singapore and wished I could find myself elsewhere. I wanted to experience something different, something new and preferably but not necessarily better. I was prepared for a rough trip but expected a fair trade in return. Yet how could a broken man gauge a trade when he knew not what he wanted? Perhaps there was beauty in naivety, seeing how it led me on a wild ride. Three years have passed since. What a ride it has been.

On many lazy Saturday afternoons, I would sit at the table sipping hot green tea while reading a book. During my distracted moments, I couldn't help wondering how I would live my life those while if I did not leave Singapore on that defining day. Would I be holding the same job? Would I be view my Singapore life in a much more positive light/ Would I enjoy fatherhood as much? Would I have died from cancer already? The questions were limitless but the answers were obviously, null. 

Like I mentioned many times before, the 'what ifs' only exists in the mind. In reality, life is but a linear progression. You will never be better or worse off due to a different decision made previously because only nothing but that single decision will be made at every moment that leads to the next. No matter how little one can do to bring forth big changes as an individual, we are still the masters of our own fate. If you don't believe you have the strength to make impact differences to you life, try drawing a straight horizontal line. Then draw another line that deviates in a 0.01 degrees angle from the first line. That is probably out the human limits to perform. Even if you use a drawing software on a computer, you will see a set of parallel lines because the differences are simply too small. However once you zoom 500% into it, you will see a clear deviation between two lines. Extend both lines long enough, the differences will be apparent even to the naked human eye without the need to zoom.

Thus the will to change must weather the test of time before any meaningful difference can be notable. One must be patient enough to nurture the seed of change in the mind in order to watch it bloom. I have to constantly remind myself because my next goal is much further away from my reach than Perth 3 years ago. If you have in mind to do something similar to what I did, always remember opportunities wait for no unprepared man. Even if you have absolutely no idea where to begin or what to do, you have to maintain your 0.01 degrees angle long enough till one day, the big picture will be so obvious you will wonder why you couldn't see it before.