A Singaporean In Australia

I knew the answer because Judy could finish asking Tucky if he ever considered moving to Australia and he said, "No,"' and added, "Everywhere also got different set of problems."

Tucky was right. One of the problem of moving to Australia for me is that I have to cope living apart with my family and friends like him. For some, it meant giving up on a glittering career or an established business network to start from zero and so on..... Many migrants didn't even end up scaling back to where they last stopped even after spending many years in their adopted countries. You win some, you lose some, you end up about the same. So why move?

One of the main reasons why Tucky has been one of my best buddies all these years is that he always possess some kind of zen-like wisdom since we were young. Other than the obvious common interests such as football and gaming etc. that brought us together, this is one of the traits that I enjoy and learn from him. Tucky has his views of the world but he'll never impose them on anyone. Neither will he allow yours to change his. That is something I found frustrating about him in the early years but realised much later on that it is something I have been subconsciously emulating. Someday, I shall become the Master of I don't give a fuck like Tucky. Slow but surely.

I can't say I disagree how he put things down in general in terms of migration. In fact, these days, I am more reluctant to encourage Singaporeans to move out because of their wrong expectations right from start. You will be surprised how many Singaporeans are unwilling to do trade-offs like the others before them with the new "I win all" mentality. There is no such thing in the world, even if you are clown prince of lion land. The moment you have this mentality, you have already lost. So how do you win all then?

When I heard what Tucky said, I did not say a word but a lot went through my mind. Having made the move to Perth, I don't see things the same way. On the surface, regardless of where I go, I face the same painful cycle of life, run the same rat race, face the same global warming and dance to the tune of the same group of politicians fucktards. It is still the same old shit, no? No.

Things are and cannot be the same for two consecutive moments. I don't believe in the constant state of things, or the delusion of security or stability. Even if a coin flips an incredible 99 consecutive times on head, I will still insist the chance that tails will appear on the next flip is 50% and wouldn't bet my life fortune on head. This is a weakest of human beings. When things become so predictable, we become so cocksure that the future will turn out the way it is obvious to. When I was healthy, I never saw there would be a day I would be diagnosed with bladder cancer. After a successful surgery, the impermanence of life thought me never to assume cancer will never return to haunt me again. I am losing some sleep over the medical review the end of next week.

It also taught me that one can be happy no matter where he or she is. Theoretically. It is definitely possible, even easy, to be happy living in Singapore. You know, by being grateful to being born there, having food to eat, not being blasted to dust by terrorists before I lose my virginity, the presence of Lee Bee Wah and other great things by soaking up in blissful ignorance. Even as one who cannot unsee what I saw, I can still choose to be happy by assuring myself that the impermanence of life is definite and even fortresses of oppressive political regimes can fall to it; by valuing every moment and all the precious things I still have around me, like my family and friends like Tucky.

The above is hypothetically possible. However, there is also a good chance I am probably dead by cancer by now if I never left - and would never see the impermanence of life the way I see it today.

Since I am already here in Perth, it is quite clear to me I am able to turn the wheel of life in easy mode. I am not talking about jobs, opportunities, income or cars here. I am talking about the art of mindful living. The availability of space grants me peace and calm by shielding me from what I hate most - random human beings. I will probably die before I can overcome this hate. I am trying but I am no saint. At least I admit my weaknesses all the time, proudly, and I am constantly trying to battle them. How many are you are doing that? So, don't snide because I express my strengths either. The opportunity to be a master of time here in order to take care of my health, my loved ones and everything I cherish, living or not. The better control of time is a gift to minimise suffering or even change some into joy.

With better access to time and space, I think it is difficult to argue all things are the same - for now. As I said, no two consecutive moments are the same. That is why I am still blogging. To observe how today differs from the day before. If I die here today, at least my last breathe is still fresher.

When Jen sent Tucky and wife to the airport, Albany decided to tag along because she had grown so much into them over the past week. So I was left alone in the house with Puipui, who was asleep in his cot. When I emerged from the computer nook to get a drink, the house felt so quiet on a Thursday afternoon that I could hear an unfamiliar ring in my ears. For the first time, I felt a tinge of loneliness overcoming me.

At some point before their arrival, I was unsure at how hosting them for a week would turn out. It was more about how they felt, not me. It was after all, their holiday but for me, it was my everyday life. I had to decide on an equilibrium where that it wouldn't be too boring for them and not too exerting on ourselves. Moving around with the whole village could be quite taxing. The road trip turned out pretty well, despite the rain. I didn't ask them how they felt about the trip in the end. Perhaps there was a slice of fear somewhere to hear it was actually shit and they wouldn't think of coming back again in future. I guessed I couldn't do much about it either way by that time so it was pointless to ask.

For myself, their visit turned out much better than I expected. I got to know Tucky's wife, Louise better. I always knew Louise was a super catch for a wife and I told Tucky so during the eve of their wedding when I flew back to Singapore to attend. It was a gut feel then as I didn't know her that well but after spending a week, living, eating and travelling together, my gut feel was confirmed. She was easy-going, humorous, put on no airs, knowledgeable, cooked well and was good with kids. Almost as good as my wife. My buddy got a rare catch, one far better than anything he can catch in Pokemon Go. I am very happy for him. Even better, our wives get along very well and they seem to love my kids. It is quite a shame we couldn't spend a longer time together for the road trip.

Let's see if life gives another chance.

If you want to read about our trip and the lame shit we did, let me know and maybe I'll tell ya when I have nothing better to do.

They say there are some things you can only learn in a storm, such as figuring out who truly cares for you - since anyone can love you on a sunny day. Wrong. A wise one can learn the same on a regular sunny day too. However it isn't as easy as it seems because things are never as obvious one would prefer. The only thing that is clear - nobody actually wants you to succeed. In any highly competitive society, the tall poppy syndrome is a given. The toxicity in such a collective mentality yields afflicted zombies more terrifying than any Pokemon Go hordes you may face off on the streets lately.

These abominations are unable to differentiate between public and private, work and personal. Their hearts are hollow and minds are washed beyond hope. So you come across people who secretly celebrate when you break off with your hot girlfriend or people who punch trees in the dark corners of Labrador Park after hearing about your double promotion at work. The scariest thing about these walking afflicted is, they learn to wear a mask of your friend's face. Identifying them proves near impossible for the untrained. For those who will be genuinely happy for you when you succeed are usually those who have always loved you through the darker times.

What makes it difficult to sieve through the hollowmen is that the afflicted are among those who loved you when you were not a success, because you were not a success. They tend to be the ones who will remind you most how much they care about you and what they did for you in the past, whereas those who truly love you would do it silently, while you are asleep, weak and sick - almost escaping your notice each time. So open up your eyes, gentlemen, to see who loves your heart and who can't wait to put a dagger through it.

On a similar note, not all who walk through the storm with you are friends. For some are sharing your woes and the others, will give anything to frolic in your pool of misery. Be it a stormy or sunny day, we tend to be too distracted to observe the ones keeping a watchful eye over you and those who hide in the shadows, wearing the mask of your friend, constantly plotting to outdo you in every competition you didn't choose to participate in, laughing at your blunders, celebrating moral victories as hollow as their hearts.

If you don't see, you bear no blame. For one can only see from afar, with absolute clarity of the mind.

Once in a while when I have nothing better to do I will do a short review on one of the biggest factor behind my decision to leave Singapore - population growth. It is probably unimportant to most and I don't expect many to share my views. I had guests over the weekend and there was mention of the possibility of returning to Singapore during the conversation. After living almost 5 years in Perth (and over 3 decades in Singapore), it gave me a clearer perspective about living in both countries.

I wouldn't have the opportunity for the eagle-eye view if I didn't take the chance to give myself a year or two by doing on a trip of self-discovery. My wife was pregnant and we were both flat tired at our work and lifestyles. We got our Australian PRs which gave us the eligibility to live and work in Australia. So I thought it would be a good idea to go on this trip to recharge our soul batteries. I tried to learn as much as I can about Perth over the last 5 years. There are still much more to learn, so much imperfections to pick on. I can probably write a book on it.

The long and the short of it, I found that there is something about living in a place like Singapore that just isn't for me. I always had some sort of an incurable disease that make me allergic to everything in the city. The queues for virtually anything, the rush to buy-out 5039 4D tickets, zerging at Hougang, sending kids for heavy tuition just to "stay average", the culture of everyone doing anything that everybody is doing everywhere. The noisy, the buzz, the lights are just too much for me to take. I don't think any of my friends or even my family take me seriously when I tell them that. Perhaps a few of them may even think I was trying to be funny. I don't blame them. You probably think the same for that dyslexic kid who can't spell.

The last time I checked, Singapore remains at 700 plus square kilometres and nothing in the URA Masterplan for the next 30 years suggest that there will be a significant increase in land mass by reclamation or invasion. However, 6.9 million population projection (remember, it is not a target), is still progressing really well. By the end of 2016, Singapore's population will be expected to reach a projected figure of 5,775,626.

5,775,626 at the end of 2016

That is:

144 live births average per day

70 deaths average per day
231 immigrants average per day

Some of my friends living in Singapore still think the figure is around 5 million or so today.

At this rate, Singapore's population will definitely hit 6 million before the end of year 2020, which is only 3 years and 4 months away lest you didn't notice. The 6.9 million population projection (and not target) would be reality before the turn of the next decade. Of course that is not the target, they are definitely gunning for something more horrendous, like 10 million.

We already have some human congestion cases happening this year. As sure as someone's death is going to be directly caused by playing Pokemon Go, we are just a royal cock up away from a human crush disaster of Hillsborough's scale. With the way things are being handled around Singapore these days, I won't bet a dime against it.

Peace and security doesn't necessarily mean safety.

These are the type of conditions that prompted many friends to claim that having a car in Singapore is a "necessity". You wouldn't relish dragging your 3 kids along in that MRT crowd shown in the picture above, would you? Or your heavily pregnant wife. Every working day. Fair enough, I will give it to them but it also prove my point. There are too many pre-requisites to live a life in Singapore. It comes to a point no having children, travelling light all the time and getting out of Singapore for the annual holiday trip is a good living model until we get shipped to JB to die one day. The alternative is lifelong debt servicing, getting your kids through the tuition grind, chronic stress and bad sleep. With or without Marilyn.

It is a common knowledge that Singaporeans thought that way of their own kind who left our sunny shores to venture into the wild world out there. So I am not surprised to read this online once again. I would assume the third-rated country mentioned to be Australia, since it is the country with most overseas Singaporeans today. That makes me one of the weak-willed. The title characters limit prevented me from putting the full statement. In full, it reads the "disgruntled and the weak-willed flee to third-rate countries and get treated like dirt by the ang mohs there."

I do not know if the writer bothered to slot in a snide remark for his National Day wish list. To be honest, if I were a sandwiched elite in Singapore like him, Singaporeans trickling out of Singapore wouldn't bother me so much, especially if I see them as "weak-willed." You would imagine the pleasure of a manicured garden without a single trace of weeds. Oddly enough, something about Singaporeans leaving seem to gets on the nerves of these successful people for them to bring it up often in their public outbursts. Perhaps, one needs a bigger pool of lesser people around him to feel he has achieved something in life.

The notion of "weak-willed" has probably something to do with how Goh Chok Tong labelled Singaporeans who left as "quitters". It has since been stamped permanently into the DNA of Singaporeans. If you leave, you are weak. For a population who knows nothing but to win, almost at all cost, all the time, it was a cost-effective method to keep the cogs from spinning out of place. I am not going to argue on the validity of such a label. Anyone with any speck of common sense will know to uproot and settle elsewhere requires a lot of courage, especially if his financial resources is very limited.. That isn't what I think an ingredient I will find in weak-willed people. Besides, there must be something very wrong with Singapore if it required individuals to be "strong-willed" to remain there, if that makes any sense to you.

It really depends at which level are you looking at the matter. If you are a doctor, for example, working in Singapore, you would think it is foolish for your nurses to migrate to a country like Australia. For the nurses, it makes perfect sense to be treated like colleagues by the doctors they work with in Australia than to be treated like maids by those in Singapore. Likewise, a Singaporean nurse will think it is foolish for a doctor to migrate to Australia because it means he will all that prestige he enjoys in Singapore and suffer probable financial and career opportunity costs. If you know where you stand on both sides, you will have a good understanding which side actually treats you like dirt. I am not the least surprise to read myopic views on this as well as people justifying their staying in Singapore.

So how can Singapore prevent the "weak-willed" to flee to third-rated countries to be treated like dirt by the ang mos?

Do not give a fuck

Why would you even bother to pretend you care whether Singaporeans who left get treated badly overseas unless you are secretly gloating over your deluded fantasy? It is wise and best to not give a fuck and celebrate your own success by bathing in lard.

Be third-rated

If being third-rated attracts the "weak-willed", nobody will be leaving. So be third-rated. Or even better, fourth rated.

Treat the "weak-willed" like dirt

On hindsight, it is important to treat "weak-willed" Singaporeans badly in order to retain these quitters, since it is now known they relish bad treatment. It is not too late to do that now and reverse how well the Singapore government has been treating average Singaporeans.

Import more ang mos to Singapore

The "strong-willed" will relish the challenge, the "weak-willed" will adore their masters. Win-win situation.

My Buddy of 25 years is coming over tomorrow to spent a week with me. Damn, how quick time passes. We were talking about it weeks ago and now I'll have an evening to prepare for his arrival after I knock off from work later in the day. Then I'll see him at the airport after work on the next day. It'll be nice to see him again. Apparently he is ditching SG51 for B25.

The first time we went on a trip together was actually a few months before I left Singapore in 2011. He told me, "Hey, if we don't do this, we'll never know when we can." So we did. We made a short trip to HK, albeit with a slight heavy heart on my side upon hearing his words. It would have been great to have some of my old friends in Australia. With the kind of lifestyle we can have here, it will be awesome with the right company. Unfortunately, in a couple more years, none of my friends will be eligible to apply for the Australian PR due to points lost through the age category. Not that I really harbored any illusions any of them will come my way though. At an early stage, I had already resigned to the fact I will be physically apart with family and friends for a very long time. The weaker friendships will naturally come to nought as well. I also know (before I came here) that I will never be able to forge friendships like that with new friends here. Not the way we went through fire and ice. It is just one of the things any migrant will have to be resigned to, sad to say.

During B20, I almost promised him I will go on another trip with him on B25. Fortunately I didn't or I would have to break that one. He is making it easy for me by visiting me this time. So I have to travel with him, by hook or by crook. It will not be easy this time round. We were free spirits. Now he is bringing along his wife and I will have to bring mine and 2 young kids with me. Beats me how it will turn out eventually. My initial hope to take them to the little town of Albany was downplayed. I will attempt the less ambitious trip down to Margaret River instead, doing the tourist thing with Tucky and wife. He hasn't been there, so he may find it fresh and nice.

Be it in Australia or Singapore, I don't have many friends. So this one counts big. I found myself fussing over the planning of his days here, only to find this isn't one of the things I am good at. I'll just have to tell him in the very me way, "Hey, this is what I have got." Much of the pressure comes from the hope that the trip leaves an impression nice enough for future returns. You can't blame me for being silly. With a family of four now, I cannot be flying back to Singapore as and when I like. I have to remind you, this is not what a pissed poor peasant does. However, since Perth is 'boring' and offers little competition to other countries, most Singaporeans will take the better buck elsewhere.

Worry not about the future. We'll smash this one first.

I told Tucky despite visiting Margaret River a few times, I have never seen the fucking river. He told me we should go find it. So we shall.

If you ask a dozen of Singaporeans living in Australia about life in Australia, you will probably get 13 answers. Though I've put down an astonishing amount (more than 1000 posts) of data in this blog, they were the subjectivity of one man. By no means I advocate that moving to Australia is good, and right, for everyone. On the other hand, don't come telling me it isn't either, just because you don't find it good for you. I've live my life on both countries and know which end of the candle I prefer to burn.

So for every asingaporeanson with a thick rose-tinted goggles, you'll get one who wants to bring Marilyn along.

You'll get the smart-ass accountant pretender, cycling-to-work hippie moving back to Singapore to earn a few more cents and .

You'll get a bridge burner who will never return to Singapore except to attend weddings of a few more important people left there.

You'll get an exported dog taking photos with every Singapore minister that drop by during Singapore Day.

You'll get the opportunistic one who will bend whenever the wind blows.

You'll get one thanking god everyday for making her way here before it is too late.

You'll get a clueless one who doesn't remember how and why he got here.

You'll get one of those who'll rather tent in the bush than to return to Singapore.

You'll get that family man who moved his family here for their future and never look back.

You'll get the solo wanderlust, who seek a carefree lifestyle.

You'll get the disillusioned ex-professional, who wants a treechange or exit his mundane world of perpetual strife.

You'll get the disillusioned who returns to Singapore because Australia is not "First World" enough.

You'll get the young hippie, giggling chap driving around in his new car his friends can never afford in Singapore without going into great debts.

You'll get that retiree, who has had enough of money and exercises.

You'll get the adventurer who lust the thrill of leaping into unknown.

You'll get the rainbow chaser, who seek his patch of green grass in his delusions.

You'll get the techie nerd, who moves here to zhng his car and set up windmills around his house because he isn't allowed to back there.

You'll get the nature lover, who recognised his options are fast reducing in Singapore.

You'll get the normadic economic migrant.

You'll get the 5 flags planters.

and probably many more variations, I can go on but this is getting dry. You get the drift.

Granted that I've seen so many Singaporeans who came here for different reasons, I've known a fair share who simply hated life here with a vengeance and move back to stand up for Singapore. Needless to say, they wouldn't have a good word to say about Australia but plenty of themselves. I bet one of the ministers will eventually coined a sexy term to catogorize this bunch. 'Returners' will sound much better than 'Double-quitters' I guess. They can say or publish whatever they want but the truth remains: Migration is a more complex matter than they think.

When someone weigh the balance by dollars and cents, or figures, they demonstrate the lack of a deeper understanding of the whole purpose of migration. Beneath the warts and numbers, there are the mental and spiritual levels that is impossible to measure. That is why people who stay will never understand those who left and those who left find it difficult to proficiently explain why when asked.

If you are considering migration, give yourself an hour to write the essay "Why I am leaving Singapore for [country of choice]" Your mission statement. Be honest to yourself. You may be surprised at the result. It will reveal a lot. Your inner feelings, your misconceptions and all. Don't feel shy to share with the others. You'll probably see another side of them too. It will often make you realise migration is not for you but don't feel bad about it. It isn't meant to be for everyone. Once you sort out the 'why' however, the 'where', 'how', 'what' and 'when' will be clearer.

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