The Impermanence of Life

I knew the answer because Judy could finish asking Tucky if he ever considered moving to Australia and he said, "No,"' and added, "Everywhere also got different set of problems."

Tucky was right. One of the problem of moving to Australia for me is that I have to cope living apart with my family and friends like him. For some, it meant giving up on a glittering career or an established business network to start from zero and so on..... Many migrants didn't even end up scaling back to where they last stopped even after spending many years in their adopted countries. You win some, you lose some, you end up about the same. So why move? 

One of the main reasons why Tucky has been one of my best buddies all these years is that he always possess some kind of zen-like wisdom since we were young. Other than the obvious common interests such as football and gaming etc. that brought us together, this is one of the traits that I enjoy and learn from him. Tucky has his views of the world but he'll never impose them on anyone. Neither will he allow yours to change his. That is something I found frustrating about him in the early years but realised much later on that it is something I have been subconsciously emulating. Someday, I shall become the Master of I don't give a fuck like Tucky. Slow but surely.

I can't say I disagree how he put things down in general in terms of migration. In fact, these days, I am more reluctant to encourage Singaporeans to move out because of their wrong expectations right from start. You will be surprised how many Singaporeans are unwilling to do trade-offs like the others before them with the new "I win all" mentality. There is no such thing in the world, even if you are clown prince of lion land. The moment you have this mentality, you have already lost. So how do you win all then? 

When I heard what Tucky said, I did not say a word but a lot went through my mind. Having made the move to Perth, I don't see things the same way. On the surface, regardless of where I go, I face the same painful cycle of life, run the same rat race, face the same global warming and dance to the tune of the same group of politicians fucktards. It is still the same old shit, no? No. 

Things are and cannot be the same for two consecutive moments. I don't believe in the constant state of things, or the delusion of security or stability. Even if a coin flips an incredible 99 consecutive times on head, I will still insist the chance that tails will appear on the next flip is 50% and wouldn't bet my life fortune on head. This is a weakest of human beings. When things become so predictable, we become so cocksure that the future will turn out the way it is obvious to. When I was healthy, I never saw there would be a day I would be diagnosed with bladder cancer. After a successful surgery, the impermanence of life thought me never to assume cancer will never return to haunt me again. I am losing some sleep over the medical review the end of next week. 

It also taught me that one can be happy no matter where he or she is. Theoretically. It is definitely possible, even easy, to be happy living in Singapore. You know, by being grateful to being born there, having food to eat, not being blasted to dust by terrorists before I lose my virginity, the presence of Lee Bee Wah and other great things by soaking up in blissful ignorance.  Even as one who cannot unsee what I saw, I can still choose to be happy by assuring myself that the impermanence of life is definite and even fortresses of oppressive political regimes can fall to it; by valuing every moment and all the precious things I still have around me, like my family and friends like Tucky.

The above is hypothetically possible. However, there is also a good chance I am probably dead by cancer by now if I never left - and would never see the impermanence of life the way I see it today.

Since I am already here in Perth, it is quite clear to me I am able to turn the wheel of life in easy mode. I am not talking about jobs, opportunities, income or cars here. I am talking about the art of mindful living. The availability of space grants me peace and calm by shielding me from what I hate most - random human beings. I will probably die before I can overcome this hate. I am trying but I am no saint. At least I admit my weaknesses all the time, proudly, and I am constantly trying to battle them. How many are you are doing that? So, don't snide because I express my strengths either. The opportunity to be a master of time here in order to take care of my health, my loved ones and everything I cherish, living or not. The better control of time is a gift to minimise suffering or even change some into joy. 

With better access to time and space, I think it is difficult to argue all things are the same - for now. As I said, no two consecutive moments are the same. That is why I am still blogging. To observe how today differs from the day before. If I die here today, at least my last breathe is still fresher.

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