A Singaporean In Australia

It's a preference thing. My boss has been rumored to laze in his lounger outside his house at 40 degree Celsius with beer during the hotter Summer days. The locals and the Brits seem to love the dry heat of Summer. You either love it or hate it. If you have been lurking around the site during the past Summer, you will know I am not a big fan. I didn't leave Singapore for this heat.

Ironically, Summer brings out the most beautiful side of Perth on the camera. It typically records the highest number of cloudless skies. With intense sunlight, it often give the ocean a deep blue sheen. With gentle breeze from the west coaxing waves curls to splash upon the white sandy coast, it is a photographer's dream. On a day like that, even the hills look like an attractive preposition to the frames hunter. This Summer offers all that even the penalties. If I may be fair, the weather throughout this Summer has been acceptable, or even pleasant. It is undoubtedly my best of the six Summers I have spent here, the old birds agree it's the finest of the decade. With poor economy, monkey politicians and all, at least we are having a relief elsewhere.

The weather has suddenly turn hot this week. Autumn has arrived but Summer decided not to leave. The forecast suggest we will have to bear with the typical Singapore's weather for another week. Beyond that, the temperature range indicates Autumn. You have been pretty good, but just go already.

Autumn, it's time to train the body and mind.

"When are you having a third kid?" 

These jokes are getting so stale, it's hard to even muster a smile or a mock agony expression on my face. The wife may giggle at these but I am not falling for it anymore. I actually believe that humans producing at this rate is fast tracking the end of humanity. So why do I still have children? Well, I believe that littering is wrong but when I find I'm alone .... Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. In fact, I think they are one of the best things that happened to me. Even for someone who never liked children in the past, I can't help but to yield to the affections of these joyful, cheerful and delightful little things. 

My gripe is my disability to come to terms with the dystopia future that my children has to suffer in. 2007. That was the first time I looked into my gazing orb, the future of Singapore scared me so much that I pissed in my pants and therefore was known as the pissed pants poor peasant. To keep things simple, I introduce myself as the piss poor peasant of Perth these days. I came to Perth to delay the inevitable, to buy myself some time and see if I can avoid my fate. Well, I could have died to cancer if I didn't leave .... or become so financially crippled that I could not even call myself a peasant. For now, I have dodged cancer and am wary of any boomerang hits from behind. However, I have yet to solve the financial conundrum. I cannot protect my children's future.

We are in a very special situation in history. I don't suppose any parent today can tell their kids, "Study hard, work hard and you will be ok in life," and honestly believe it deep inside. What is left is hope or faith and very little else. As I take another gaze in my cracked orb 10 years on, the images only look darker. The machines invasion over the last 10 years serves as all the validation that I need. The trend is irreversible but very few believes so. Most people around me hold steadfast in their beliefs that humanity is the fortress that machine will never conquer. They believe that machines will never match the intelligence of a human and will always be a pale comparison devoid of compassion, creativity and analytical judgement.

The problem is, machines do not need to be humane to take your job! When I was working as a weld grinder during my first year in Perth, the gigantic section of weld was actually not welded by any of the welder masters of the company. It was done by the 6m long welding machine, by far the best welder among us. It was able to weld in such precision and speed that no first class welder has a nick of a chance to compete with. Over the last decade, we see the first batch of driver-less trains. In the next, we'll see driver-less buses. Ask yourself this question, does your job requires extemporary creativity on day to day basic? Why do you think you are irreplaceable by a machine? Book keepers have been replaced by accounting software, parking wardens in Singapore will be soon replaced by GPS ERP. Convenient stores all over the world are already operating unmanned. Jobs have been rendered obsolete overnight with the introduction of new technologies every day.

I have absolutely no doubt that machines will overtake humanity. One has to wonder why the average civil servant in a government agency in Singapore who talk and act no differently from a machine think otherwise. If machines are preferred over one of the notoriously cheap labour of Mac Donald's, imagine how easy it is to replace the high earners. The day where it isn't logical to pay a human being anything more than the fraction of cost it takes for a replacement machine to do the job will come sooner than expected.

With some luck, my children may still make it through life - if I act fast enough.

Singaporeans have a unique challenge. We are the most modern country in South-East Asia, one of the richest country in the world. As described in the previous post [link], foreigners flock to Singapore and solve their retirement problems by working in Singapore and leveraging on currency differences. Sure, we are glad to lend a helping hand and so our foreigners have achieved their early retirements, what about us Singaporeans?

Forget about pledging your HDB flats. Old folks should always watch out for scams. Anyway, if you are old and have not saved your pot of gold by now, be prepared to suffer a little in the only self acclaimed world class city with no safety nets. In the meantime please make yourself useful by educating the young for a change instead of brainwashing them to walk the paths you did.

My target audience is young Singaporeans earning median wages. If you are high flying on a corporate ladder, your earning power and your ability to retain your wealth will solve future problems. You don't need to plan early. For the rest, the exit plan start from, if it isn't obvious enough, getting the fuck out of the place. Please, I don't mean travelling to a new country for holidays every year. That's dumb. If you would like to spend your hard earned money this way and decide that you know a country so well because you did a speed trip across every city possible and deem Singapore is "still the place best on Earth", by all means join the old folks back there to rot. Your turn will come, just wait for it.

A good exit plan is near impossible to execute. The SG government (giving them a huge benefit of doubt) unknowingly made it that way. (I'll explain later) I believe there are plausible models all around but I don't have the space (and the patience) to list them all. One will look something like that:

Find work

Work immediately after graduation.

Get married early

ROM only if possible. If not, throw a banquet that you can afford without requiring any money contributed by guests. That is the size of the banquet you should be doing. Unfortunately, this is out of our control at times, marrying young that is, not the size of the banquet because it is your fucking wedding not your parents'. Dump the narcissistic wife who dream of a princess wedding. This is serious business. If your partner doesn't share your financial goals and future dreams, it will not go well down the road anyway. Open your eyes mate.

Buy a HDB flat

Most unfortunately, we need to get married to do this. So forever alones will have to choose another exit plan. Fret not, there are many ways you can do this. This is just an example. The government effectively twat the plan by coming out with the BTO scheme, changing our accessibility to public housing into a lottery game. Time is precious in this game and we have to waste a lot of it here. To make it worse, even if you strike 4D and get a BTO flat quickly, it takes a few years to build that bloody thing. Then the worst thing of all, a 5 year-MOP on top of those years wasted waiting to acquire a flat. A resale flat is not at all ideal for this plan. This is the reason why getting married early is essential. Ideally, we don't want to be over 30 years old by the time the MOP expires. Keynote: Spent not more than $10k on renovation. Make it livable and move in. Not able to do it with $10k? Change your definition of livable.

Work for 8-10 years

In the meantime trying to get a HDB flat, bear with the bosses, work hard for a decade.

Save every penny you earn

Save everything you earn. I mean, every fucking cent. No vanity tours, delay all gratifications. Cars are out of question. No buying of fancy kettles. You exchange your soul and blood for these money. Don't spend them away to nurse a bruised ego. Respect your time and youth.

Apply for Permanent Residency in another country (preferably a country with competitive currency)

Do this after working for 5-8 years. There isn't a lot of choices for Singaporeans. Just pick somewhere you like. Plan your career from Day 1 to fit the immigration criteria of your country. In fact, plan your education for it as well. If you want to come to Australia for instance, don't fucking do a Business Degree. Simple to understand?

Move overseas to work

Once you get your PR, move.

Rent out the HDB flat 

The MOP is over. Rent the whole damn thing out. It will be enough to self finance its mortgage payments. There will be excess, on top of the minimum required payments. Use the excess to reduce the loan faster, unless you need extra funds to tide you over in the new country.

Rent cheap, get jobs and work to build savings and credit ratings

Squeeze in a room, don't rent a whole house unless you already have kids by now.

Buy a small place in the new country

Keyword - SMALL.

Work for 3-5 years

Save as much money as you can. Feel free to tour but keep it within the new country. Minimise flying back to Singapore. No overseas trips for now.

Get a second property

The Chinese has a saying, “养兵 一世 用兵 一时” (Nurture an army for a lifetime, activate it for a decisive moment) This is where the fund you put aside from not doing pointless wedding banquets, liability renovations, not going for the tours that makes you fat and the useless home trophies you didn't accumulate comes useful. Park the funds in an offset account for the little small house you bought. Use the equity to buy get a loan for a second property. You are now officially 1 million dollars in debt. No you don't really have 3 houses. They belong to the bank. You own nothing but debts. From now on, it's a good time to die. Still better than being dead broke every end of the year driving a shitty $150,000 car in Singapore and getting fat and even more dead broke from overseas trips, looking like walking dead from overworking everyday. 

Overwork-stress-holiday to destress-broke-need to work-overwork. SG life in a sentence.

Rent small property out

Yield may be shitty but a half paid property may not be that bad. The reason to keep this small is to keep all expenses down. Maintenance, rates, repair etc etc. The smaller it is, the less expenses. So what if it fetches the lowest rent in town? It actually means you will have a higher chance to get a tenant as compared to the landlords with expensive flashy houses. If will be ideal if this property breaks even. A positive cashflow is a bonus. A small negative cashflow is acceptable. You have done something wrong if the negative cashflow is too much.

Look around to plant a 3rd flag, the country should be a "Third World" country with good and affordable healthcare

I'll let you know when I figure things out

Work for another 10 years

You are only 40 at this stage. It is time to slow things a little. Smell the roses, go camping, enjoy parenthood, go for road trips and even an odd overseas trips. You'll gain those things you have been depriving yourself back double. Triple. If your wife is not dumped or left you yet, she begins to see why not buying that $10,000 gown was a good idea.

The HDB flat should be paid up by now

Or another 5 more years to go. The first stream of retirement income is almost ready. Not a lot of money, but well..... peasants cannot be choosers. That beats cardboard picking. If you are still working now, put aside the funds every month. Go for holidays as long as your annual leave allows. In another couple of years...

The small house should be paid up by now

The second stream. Smallish but at least you need 2 governments to fuck you up simultaneously to get into trouble. Sure beats putting everything in one fascist country. 

Move to 3rd flag

Kids grown up. Moved out. If they are financially independent, it's time to move on. If not, leave them in the third house. Get them trained early to operate an Air Bnb to lease the spare rooms out whenever possible. Use the funds to pay the mortgage for the remaining payments. When the property is paid, the kids will have it as a gift. 

Meanwhile, third world country, third world cost of living. What's so first world about struggling in a first world country anyway?

Alternative plans

There are 1001 ways to do this. The above is just a hypothetical one. It is by no means perfect, ideal or optimised. There is surely many better ways to do things. So let's hear it from the smarter brains.

When I was handling the smaller projects in Singapore, I often sat down with the workers during tea break and chatted with them. Most of them were from Bangladesh and the rest were from India and the PRC. Our conversations were usually two-sided. They would be asking questions like what my grandmother would during Chinese New Year. My love life, how many kids do I intend to have in future, how was my spouse and I handle our money and so on. They shared the same information about themselves at ease in return.

One of the common question I would ask each individual was why were they there, working in Singapore under pretty harsh weather conditions. Most of them were not construction workers back in their homelands. They were farmers, clerks, butchers, odd job labourers, kitchen hands and so on. As we know, the sole reason for their existence in Singapore was to make money. They were not there to admire the Merlion or the Pinay maids during the weekends. Hmm... as a matter of fact, a minority of them actually did bring their Pinays to the Merlion before having fun elsewhere. Those chaps were usually talked about in hushed tones and shaking heads among their peers, as they were deemed to stray off The Purpose. For the rest of them, none of them wanted anything to do with Singapore after 8-10 years of working in Singapore. They would return home in glory and live a semi-retired life in their mid 30s or early 40s.

One of the question I never fail to them was that if Singapore offered them permanent residency, would they take it up? Surprisingly, all of them told me how well they thought of Singapore but none of them would consider being a PR due to two main reasons. One, the cost of living was incredulous and their homeland was "better". When you keep hearing one after another, regardless of nationality, claiming that the place where they came from was better than Singapore, you wonder why. I think there is no need for me to elaborate why Singaporeans are so proud of Singapore. We have one of the modern, safest and cleanest city in the world. It baffled the mind why people from the so call "Third World" countries would claim their homelands were better. I wanted to know more.

It turned out that even many of the Singapore PRs I knew were reluctant to give up their citizenship for the red passport. It is true that many SPRs have converted over the years but the scale is massively tilted to those who refused to. The Indians and Filipinos SPRs have no qualms about taking up the red passport. The Indians have access to the overseas citizens card (OOC) and the Filipinos who lost their citizenship by foreign naturalization may re-acquire or retain their Philippine citizenship later. So the folks who held their SPRs were mainly the Malaysians. Why were they so reluctant to give up their blues? Surely, the Malaysians can't lay claim to Malaysia being the better country? When I asked, "Malaysia really boleh ah?" They would reply, "Boleeeeeh!" with conviction.

It turned out that everything had to do with the exit plan.

My foreign workers will return to their homeland and "live like a king." That claim is exaggerated but most of them can live comfortably or be semi-retired by the time they turn 40. My Indian and Filipinos SPRs turned citizen will return to their respective countries when the time is ripe since they have the access to reinstate their original citizenship and renounce their SG citizenship. By cutting ties, they will be allow to do a full withdrawal of their HDB sale proceeds and CPF balance. The Malaysians will give up their PRs and do the same thing. They too, return home with their bags of gold, to retire or semi retire in their 50s.

That was when I realised why Malaysia was boleh.

It turns out that it has little to with whether the country is better or worse by normal comparison variables. It isn't about where you live and why the place deem ideal. It is how you live, what kind of lifestyle you can afford and when you can attain it. Singaporeans who remain ignorant and bigotic can continue to see Malaysia as a dangerous shit hole and remain in our own to pick cardboard for exercise. The rest of us will plant the next flag [link] and carry on.

This post is created after Judy asked me if her husband should convert to become Singapore citizen, giving up his Malaysia citizenship. I gave her the, "Are you fucking serious?" look.

Whine, whine, whine. The noise is intensifying by the week. All my 5 readers will know that I used to lambaste our politicians. I did not mince my words and went for the jugular each time. They would have notice I have never done so since GE2015. While I still criticise policies and quotable quotes of politicians, I mention no names. It isn't because I am afraid of getting sued. I never worry about such things because I do not make unverified claims from my delusions. I call a spade a spade every time. No one is going to get sued for calling a dumbass stupid. The reason why I stop pin pointing Singapore politicians is not because I support them. I have never voted for any of them and I doubt I ever will. I stopped lashing out at them because I realised none of them is at fault. 

Incidentally, just about everyone I know who complains about Singapore politicians is someone who actually voted for them. They whine the loudest, tell everyone how the politicians suck and are out of touch with the people. Well, where do my dear friends think the sucky Ministers or MPs they cannot resonate with come from? They do not emerge from a portal of hell during the lunar 7th month. They are not plant mutants migrated from Pulau Ubin or some shadow phantasms carried over by the yearly haze from the south. They .... well, at least most ... are born and bred Singaporeans. They live among us as some of your classmates in secondary school, your platoon mates in the army and your university soccer team comrades. This is what our system produces and we endorse it. Simply as.

"No, I didn't vote for them," so claimed everyone I asked. 

So, the PAP summoned ghosts to cast votes? No. You fucking did. 70% of you. Don't lie. This is the first reflection of the PAP on the Singaporean people. We will never admit we are wrong. We honestly feel that despite the flaws of the PAP, they are still the right people to lead the country. The opposition sucks but let's keep a few around for the sake of it. Likewise, the PAP makes mistakes. Tons of mistake but they will never admit to a single one. No mistakes, no accountability. Will the PAP voters ever take accountability for their votes? Nah.

Singapore prides itself as a multi-racial, multi-cultural tolerant country behind the veil of Racial Harmony Days. In truth, we are racist assholes. The problem is, we are so racist that we don't even realise it. Most Singaporeans have no qualms referring to people of respective nationalities by the pet name they come up with. We are perfectly comfortable in talking about that Chao Ah Tiong, Si Ah Neh, Annoy Pinoy among ourselves. In the construction sites, we have supervisors calling workers by their nationalities. "Oi, Thailand come." Meanwhile, Singapore will be having a new Malay President soon. We already know what race he or she will be before the election. Amazing. Of course, Singaporeans will find that amusing and move on after a laugh, the same way as how we accepted the GRC as a "meritocratic" system and deem it perfectly fine.

We holler at people because we are paying customers. We have young parents holding hands strolling across shopping centres while their maid is carrying and soothing their 3 month old baby. We pay them peanuts, expect them to live-in, grudgingly give them a day off a week and think it is perfectly okay for voting for bigot bullies as the government that suppress wages, limit human rights and the freedom of speech. We are nasty travelers or migrants, bring our bigotry with us everywhere we go. I received a comment in my blog this morning that goes, "Some of the worst people I have met in Australia are Singaporeans." Believe it, he wouldn't be alone with that opinion.

I reached home at 3.15 pm early this week and found that nothing had been prepared for dinner. I was hungry and I knew if I waited for either lady to prepare dinner, I would be filled with snacks by the time dinner was ready. Since I was actively losing weight to prepare for Winter, I didn't want that to happen. After changing out of my dirty work clothes and exchanging hugs with the little ones, I started to prepare dinner at 3.30 pm.

"Cheaper to eat out in Singapore."

I have heard Judy said that multiple times.

Of course, I disagree but it is difficult to debate the notion with the disparate forms of our definition of 'eat'. Truth to be told, the relatively low cost of eating out in Singapore is one of the last reasons, and a weak one, that explains why most Singaporeans eat out. That's simply because, it isn't true. 

A Malaysian colleague of mine, in his mid twenties, refuses to eat out to "save money." He told me a scrumptious beef stew that cost him $10.00 to make can cover his entire lunches for the week. It doesn't take that much effort to stew it. The gravy beef chunks were already cut during purchase. He unwraps and chuck them into a mixing bowl. He sets up a blending equipment, grind 2 onions, scoop out the contents with his hands and squeeze it over the mixing bowl, drawing onion juice. By doing, there are 2 benefits. First the onion juice will tenderize the meat. Second, the loss of water content will enable to onion to caramelized faster. 

He fires up his pan, splashes some oil on high heat, stir in the onion evenly and lower the heat. In the meantime he places his beef chunks neatly at the bottom layer of his slow cooker pot. Once done, he checks his onions by stirring them for a few seconds. Then he de-skin 2 carrots, 2 large potatoes and chop them into bite size chunks. As he chops, he empties them into the slower cooker, burying the beef chunks placed earlier. A few more stirs of the onion in the pan and he goes cleaning the blender, the chopping board, chopper and clear all waste. 

There is hardly skills involved to stew. If any, the learning curve is gentle and forgiving. There isn't any difference time invested to get food on the table. If anything, this method saves more time than to get out there and take all the trouble just to get a meal. Pathetic. There isn't much difference in cost either. I've proven it costs less to cook than to dine out. Beef too expensive in Singapore? Use chicken then. So what's the problem?

"I don't want to eat the same meals every day." - find neighbours or colleagues to do the same and exchange then.

"I don't want my house to smell bad." - untrue and lame

"I don't want to get my hands dirty." - wimp

"I don't want to learn a new skill." - your loss really

"I don't have the time." - proven wrong.

"I don't want to eat in the office." - prefers a 2 hour lunch time and complains about knocking off late

"I'm tired." - yeah, getting to the hawker centre is so relaxing

The suggestion that it isn't economically viable to cook at home in Singapore for 1 person is not true. I can give you 10 easy meals you can do at home not more than $2 per meal. There are 1001 excuses not to do it of course but don't tell me cheaper to eat outside lah, plus the cost of your ordered drinks (which you otherwise wouldn't be tempted to incur), it'll rock the scale. Don't talk cock k.

Just let me gloat before I get started. After one year of honeymoon following a Singapore GE, hikes always happens during the 2nd and 3rd year. Be it in the form of a GST increase, transportation fare hikes or price increase of essential good and services, one thing is dead sure, it will happen. Always. Brace for more in the coming year. I hope the 70% of you saw this coming. I have no doubt the majority of the 70% agree with whatever the chosen spokesperson of the government said to justify the 30% increase in tap water price anyway. After all, "if the opposition is the government, the increase is probably 50%, or worse dry the taps and bring forth drought hardships!" If I may be honest, I don't think an increase of 30% in tap water price is necessarily a bad thing if the motive behind is carefully structured for greater things for the country. However, if it is done so "for Singaporeans to understand the importance of saving water," I say, Singaporeans get what they deserve.

I'll get started. This shall be such a rare moment I have good words for the Singapore government. All my 5 readers may want to bookmark this post, lest one day I die famous and you can print this out for a handsome sale as the fastest first movers. The government has done exceptionally well in tackling our water shortage problem. Though it is common knowledge that many countries in the world struggle with water shortage issues, not many are aware of the severity of the problem. Some companies are even trying to buy up reserves of water to position themselves for imminent windfalls. I've always been a critic on Singapore's over reliance on import for food. However, Singapore has been addressing its over reliance on Johor for our water supply well by building competency in the water treatment field.

It brings us back to an earlier comment I made. The 30% increase may not necessarily be a bad thing if the motives are good. That is a very big if. If the government decides to use the extra revenue to help local businesses acquire grandmastery in the arcane arts of turning shit into water, it may well be Singapore's version of the Midas touch. However by grandmastery, I meant by developing highly intellectual capital that will be well sought after by the rest of the world. By being the Apple or Samsung of the water treatment arena. By being at the top of the class - where it really matter. Mind you, that was the original plan. We were supposed to prolong our survival by being good, not by being cheap.

When I mean help local businesses, I don't mean funding the GLCs. There has to be a solid base of SMEs intermediaries that benefit from the big boys. The maintenance specialists, the parts suppliers, the logistic support, the experts who can help build top notch treatment plants for whoever with deep pockets, the retailers who are able to sell scaled down models of water treatment technologies to anyone beyond our horizons. The jobs created by a chain of beneficiaries can only benefit the locals. 

Sorry to burst the bubble, but this extra revenue will go straight into the government's coffers yet again. I see the increase as a mere badly veiled form of consumption tax. You know how I think when Singaporeans tell me how good life is in Singapore because "low income tax?" Singapore is in a real demand for optometrists - to help Singaporeans read between the lines and the fine prints. Meanwhile, you should be prepared for further price increase down the road since you are most likely not to learn the importance of saving water with just a 30% increase this time.

"Wow, all the way here to change wipers?" I asked.

Penny told me it would cost her $150 to get her mechanic to do it for her. A visit to a local automobile parts shop ended up in surprise because it would also cost her $150 just to buy the wipers. I reasoned that the mechanic could probably buy the same parts at a 30% discount or something and earn that as his labour charge. It doesn't sound that bad for a few minutes' job.

So where did she buy the wipers eventually? Some online shop, for $75. Thus if I were able to remove the existing and clip on the new ones for her, she would save $75 there and then. Ya..... I know you are counting her time taken to travel and the cost of fuel. After all, we are all ngiao ji ngiao lan Singaporeans and so I know you too well. Well, for her trouble, she saw how the wipers were changed and probably could do it herself in future. That had to make the time and fuel worthwhile.

Actually, Penny's visit had little to do with her wipers. That was only the first couple of minutes. The rest of the morning and half the afternoon was spent catching up, lunching and updating us the statuses of her fine dogs. You know.... after so many pats on Thommo, waving to that JRT at Nou's Grapes, listening about Basil's antics, I felt the yearnings to have a dog of my own. Living with a dog was basically the story of my life. Apart of a few short hiatus in between dogs, I had the company of a dog throughout my life in Singapore. But then .... I was yet a father then .... and I am no longer the young energetic chap like the past. I know bloody well that adopting a dog is commitment for life, for its lifespan at least. Thus despite having some space Savvy Steve rented me and a large green field nearby to dash and roll with my potential new dog, I hesitated.

However, I can envisage a JRT calling the shots around the humble acreage in future. Ah, a little Summer daydream.

My MIL is really something. In less than a year, she got her backyard transformed into a productive veggie patch. You know the jokes about Singaporeans thinking that watermelons grow on trees or featherless chicken - I laugh at these jokes but am careful not to do it too loudly. For I am not much better than the average city bumpkin on the street. Most of us brought up in the city will not have the patience to observe or the confidence to differentiate one green leafy thing from another. How sad. Just imagine if we ever get stranded on an island full of edibles but we fail to identify any of them. I always pride myself as a little better than the the average city bumpkin. At least I don't have to ask, "Are those chillis?" 

It took me some conditioning to be attuned to world of veggie patch. The celery at the far end do not look like a messy heap of stout weeds anymore. The young capsicum plants can be recognised even before they fruit. Grapes and passion fruit creepers can be differentiated at first glance. Blueberries, and mulberries have so different needs. Growing almond is plausible. Fig, guava, lemon, lime, orange. The MIL is serious about reaping what she sow. I appreciate her efforts and thoughts. It wasn't done for herself but for her children and grandchildren.

Every time she offers vegetables, I will not reject them. This week she has a oversupply of sweet potato leaves. I never like sweet potatoes leaves but I accept them all the same. I make sure I tell Albany that the veg on the table that evening are her grandmother's hard work, then eat my share and encourage her to do the same. I saw Albany dancing around the veggie patch the other day, appreciating the abundance around her.

I come to realise how different home grown produce is to commercial ones. For starters, the home grown ones never look as attractive half the time. They are often mangled, out of shape or short of the radiance of the version that commercial consumers are used to. They don't even taste the same, though not necessarily less delicious. I am not going into the debate whether chemical improvers, pesticides and genetically modified organism is harmful for human beings or not. Nobody knows, nobody cares or can do anything about it even if any gives a hoot about it. What I can see from this experience is, with a backyard, you have another choice.

The side gate was finally completed after spending another few hours after work. It wouldn't be done without the help of Jen and Judy so all thanks to them. Jen spared me some time despite being busy with her chores. Judy cooked dinner. With my time freed, I told myself I had to try to get the shit done up once and for all. Jen must be the most relieved one when it was all done. She always wanted the compound enclosed. Most importantly, she didn't have to work with me anymore. She had to run about to fetch tools and hold up things while I cursed and swore at the bloody pan head crossed self tapping screws provided. I only want hex head self tapping screws, noobs! 

Due to that, I actually found getting the gate accessories installed harder than the fence itself. For the tiny bit of fence, after Jen leveled the U channel, I was on my own for the rest. Cutting up metal ....  a piece of cake. Back in my metal grinding days, I knew the skill would not completely go to waste in future. I still use my knowledge at work once a while. For little stuff to complete around a house, a little confidence with a sharp blade on an angle grinder can help a lot.

Slash. Slash. Slash. I didn't even mind sparks hitting on my bare shins. It was the first time I cut colorbond sheets. Quite easy to work with. In less than 10 minutes, my channels and sheet was cut. 

By the time Jen was out, the fence part was already completed. Judy called for dinner but I was desperate to fix the accessories and finish up the job for good. I was getting a little sick of it all. All I wanted was to complete it, pave the remaining area and start work on sorting out the garage. There is still much to do.

See (left), done. I think it looks awesome. I don't care what the others think. Finally, an enclosure. Is it time for a dog? Don't even think of it for now.

Did I really save any money by installing it myself? Well.... let's see. The original fence people who worked for the developer quoted us $500 for just a gate at the back. That was supposed to be the cheaper "cash jobs." They can go a bit lower than other professionals because some of them pinch materials from their companies. Anyway, we didn't take it up. If we were to ask for a quote to do a gate and a little bit of fence, I don't think I will get anything lower than $650.

My materials cost me $400? The savings is a little meh, nothing to be excited about. But hey, money is money ok. Besides, we usually need to pay to learn something so if people offer to give you $250 to learn something, wouldn't you bite off his hand? I'm not sure about you but I will.

One evening, Judy told me coming back to Perth wasn't an easy decision. Her family questioned her motivation and intention. I know where they are coming from. In truth, there is no real quantifiable reason to move out of Singapore. I'm serious.

If you think you will be happier by moving elsewhere, you are probably wrong . Happiness is an emotion and it can be achieved by many ways. It can be attained by choosing happiness above all else, pushing aside what we perceive as negative emotions to focus on the preferred feeling of being happy. The power to choose can never be fully removed from a human being. Even if you are picking up cardboard for exercise or hanging on the 21st storey by your left eyelid, you can choose to feel happy but telling yourself what can be worse. The possibility of having to eat maggots for dinner or hanging on the 21st storey by your testicles are scenarios that can make anyone feel better in their current status. This has to be done in tandem by bringing oneself back down to the state of contentment. Many vouched that appreciating the small things in life is a good way to achieve contentment. "I have a HDB flat," "I have a job," "I live under a regime with a caring government," "Free chicken rice!" "Free abalone porridge!" " Free chikus!" "Oooh, 10 cent coin!" Be appreciative with what you have, purge negative emotions. Instant happiness. Constant happiness.

Thus, Judy's family was correct to refute Judy's claim that she will have a happier life in Australia. Since happiness can be easily achieved in Singapore, she is wasting time.

How about wanting to move to a less stressful environment? Isn't that a worthy pursuit? Yes and no. By learning how to manage our stress level, we can achieve a low stress Singapore living. We manage our stress by identifying the causes. The rat race? Leave the rat race, stay at home and bake freelance. Cannot afford not to work? Reduce expenses, eliminate "want" purchases, including the children's mobile phone subscriptions and pocket money. The family has to be supportive. These are good-to-haves, not bare essentials of life. Hate the traffic on the road? Don't buy a car and take the MRT. Overcrowding brings you stress? Take the MRT at 6am and do the Singapore workout in the office until work commences. Oh wait, you don't have to work. A stress-free lifestyle can be achieved in Singapore by simply managing our expectations, shuffling our priorities and redefining our goals in life.

Thus, Judy's family was correct to refute Judy's claim that she will have a less stressful life in Australia. Since a relatively stress-free life can be easily achieved in Singapore, she is wasting time.

Many regard Australia as a good retirement base. It has pretty good weather, good quality of air, nice scenery and quiet streets. It has some of the most ideal conditions for someone to wait out for death. Surely, that cannot be disregarded as a fruitless goal? Well, by retirement, all your old, wrinkled and crippled friends are in Singapore stirring a cup of Teh-C at the KPT for the entire day. The losers who still have full control of their limbs can do the cardboard exercises, for "maintenance". By retiring in Singapore, at least you have someone to dial 995 to save you from that heart attack after you see that scantily clad chiobu walking pass. That beats ending up as a wrinkled raisin on your sun lounge by the time someone discover you elsewhere. The quality of air is overrated, at least for the elderly. Since you cannot see or hear that well, there isn't any reason why your sense of smell can work as well as before. Who knows, haze may smell like satay and remind you of your Satay Club dating days in the 60s. We have to be kidding ourselves if we think there is a more beautiful place outside Singapore. We are called the Garden City for a reason, lately rebranded as A City in the Garden. Why look for paradise outside paradise? Why not retire in Singapore? Your friends, the sounds of familiarity, HDB flat and family are there. If Bedok Reservoir is not to your taste, the river that always flow is always there to give you a helping hand if you want an early ticket to your end. The last time I checked, it is still free.

Judy cannot be more wrong to look elsewhere for retirement. She doesn't even need to lift a finger to have the ideal retirement location.

But she is here. You know what they say about contentment? Appreciate what you have, be comfortable and live worry-free, stress-free and risk-free to achieve a happy life. I can't dispute that ..... but there is a little ... flaw that I cannot come to terms with. I see contentment as a good baseline to build on. It symbolise stability, which is a great foundation to strive for improvements. Attaining a state of contentment does not mean we should stop striving for a better future. Doing so is being complacent. Note that this sounds like a SG government rhetoric but I do agree. My problem with them is their differing vision from mine and their choice of route to achieve that. It's nothing personal. That, and reaching for greater heights for our families and ourselves are separate issues.

The fine line between contentment and complacency is blur, thus we have to be aware of where we are standing on. Status quo is not risk-free, simply because change is inevitable and constant. Be honest to yourself. Do you realistically foresee a future better than your past 10 years in Singapore? Hiding in our comfort zones is actually subjecting ourselves to the biggest risks. By exposing ourselves to risk, we are mitigating the risks to the comfort zone itself. So when life strikes us hard, we don't have to say "That's the way the cookie crumbles." At least we tried. If we try hard enough, we can withstand a few hits. The cookie does not have to crumble. One noise I keep repeatedly hear about leaving the cradle is, "Such a big change is so risky, so scary." I'll tell you what is more scary than risk. Regret.

Risks have opportunity costs but do not conveniently dismiss the fact that regrets have opportunity costs too. There may be no valid reason to migrate but by trying, Judy will eventually return to Singapore with no regret from not trying. Having experiencing the wisdom of it first hand, she'll be a better mother, better wife, a good example, a better leader to guide her children and encourage them to pursue their dreams, to test their limits. 

The back felt a little better so I decided to do something after I came back from work. For the past year, I had taken on quite a bit of dirty work around the house. You do not complete a paint job without staining your hands. Even a master painter does, just less frequently. If you are completely clean throughout the job, it simply means you haven't work. Flooring the house was dusty business but it could be much worse if I had unwisely decided to tile. Paving outdoors wasn't too bad, until you have to cut paving blocks to fit nooks and crevices around the place. In fact, anything that involves the cutting of stone, cement, concrete or scorched clay creates great clouds of dust. Believe me, you will not enjoy being right in the middle one of those clouds.

That might be the 2nd last time I had to create clouds of dust for Savvy Steve's house. Certainly hope so. Cut this shitty slab, plant the 2nd post, level it, cast it. When it is set the next day, install the lockset to the gate and complete the fencing to close up the rest of the gap. Once done, lay the rest of the pavings till it abuts the lawn line. That will be the final cloud. You bet I am looking forward to it. It has been nearly a year since I started on this.

One PRC fellow I met in Perth will be preparing to move to the next house, if he is at this stage. He buys houses in near derelict conditions at a steal. Move in, rents out his previous house and repair his new old house regularly, with whatever spare time his day job left him. By the time he has done it up nicely enough, he will either sell it if there is a decent profit to be made or rent it out when his next purchase is secured. The last time I saw him was 3 years ago, he had already gotten himself 4 houses. Not all of them were paid up but I was sure 1-2 of them were. Let's hope he survived the rental downturn. I don't think he will be hit hard. A resilient lot, his kind. They have a lot we should learn from.

I don't think Savvy Steve will have an axe to grind if I propose to sell his house. In fact, the other day when I hinted all he said was, "Suit yourself, just send me money over when you are done." He wanted an inflated sum to his share, as that was part of the agreement. Anything else, if there is anything else, is mine to keep as a pathetic reward to my work. In a worse case, a deficit position will enslave me further to Savvy Steve. The time isn't ripe. I should concentrate in finishing my work.

As I didn't have that much time after I came back from work, I reckoned if I manage to plant the 2nd post, it would be considered a good day. Some men in Singapore do not even have time to change a diaper for their babies after work. I consider myself lucky. 

Cutting the rest of the stone took awhile but the post planting process was satisfying. Once the cement sets, I will be able to proceed with the rest of the work from the next day onward. Soon, Patrick will not be able to sneak into my compound from the side. Soon. Hahaha!

More breakdowns, longer down time, more injuries, more deaths. Singaporeans can look forward to more lift "accidents" in the near future. "Industry players" (whatever that fuck means) attribute the dive in lift safety standards to the shortage of lift technicians. To address that the Building and Construction Authority aims to increase the number of lift technicians by 1000, adding to the current 2000 technicians maintaining about 63,000 lifts and 6,000 escalators in Singapore.

Only 1000 BCA? 69,000 lifts and escalators requiring maintenance at least once a month by 3000 technicians. Do the maths. 23 maintenance cases a month per worker, not factoring breakdowns, major servicing, yearly inspection and testing. How many days do you want your technicians to work per week and how many hours a day? That is, if you can even get 1,000 to join the industry. Meanwhile, among the 2000 technicians, how many are going to leave the industry in 5-10 years' time? I say, good luck BCA.

This post was writing 5 years ago. [link] I often write about the future and I will occasionally look back to see how my forecasts went. This post revisits the issue of the deskilling of Singaporeans. It is not intended as a "I told you so" gloat. I am here to highlight the problem. 

"Industry player" Ms Mary Kok, head of Mitsubishi Elevator Singapore's HR and Admin Division said,

Look. When demand far outweigh supply, price goes up. Basic economics. When an industry leader is not willing to admit lift technicians are grossly underpaid and talks about interests, you know where the problem lies. The starting salary of an ITE Lift Technician graduate is $1,200 - $1,500 and they are actually wondering why courses are being terminated because there are not enough students taking it up. In this article [link] put up yesterday, they are still citing the same thing:

A lack of interest? Come on. If you cannot even fulfill the physiological and safety needs of your works, why do you talk about interests, visibility, glamour or dreams? I wonder if "Industry player" Mary Kok has ever climbed through the maintenance hatch of a lift and sit there for 5 minutes. Working in confine spaces, with virtually no ventilation under constant high heat in the Singapore weather. Darkness, dust, the smell of urine, the risk of crushing a bone, the risk of falling, the thankless regime being abused by angry lift users who contributed the ammonia infused aroma therapy every single day. Then you wonder why your HR manager asked you during the job interview, "Why do you have interest in this job?"

I wonder does the HR ask the sewage plumber the same thing during his interview and expect this answer, "Oh. I find immense pleasure restoring the internal pressure of pipes by the extraction of clogged human excretion." Ladies and gentlemen, the disciples of Human Resource, hear this. No child dreams to become a lift technician when he grows up. Stop barking at the wrong tree and accept that there are heaps of jobs that are never going to be glamourous, takers know it and do not expect any. They call them dirty jobs for a reason. Show the money and they get done. It is a waste of time convincing the young how noble the job is. Drug trafficking is not glamourous but the jobs get done. Splash the cash. Get it? 

It will not happen as long as SMEs are continually kept out by the barriers of entry and large profit obsessed corporations headed by cronies of the PAP squeezing the livelihood out of their lift technicians. Then they moan about their difficulties to attract the young to enter their exploitation chambers because of the "lack of interest" and urge the MOM to increase foreign workers quota. Meanwhile the continual diluting of skills will see to the drop in work quality.

Oh by the way, if you are young. have a perverse interest of smelling evaporated urine of your Singaporean brothers and sisters and somehow entered the lift maintenance industry, do not despair. Make sure you demand to gain experience in the following job scope from your company:

as these are the jobscopes of a Lift Mechanic you can nominate yourself as to come to Australia to work. The last time I checked, the occupation is still on the SOL.

You shall gain the points this way

Age 25-32 years  ---- 30 points

IELTS (min 7 in all components) ----  10 points

5 years working experience as a lift mechanic ----- 10 points

ITE Cert (Lift technician) ---- 10 points

Total : 60 points.

Go to a migration to sort this shit out if you don't understand. Just remember to stick to my guidelines. Be young, practice your IELTS, work early to chalk up your 5 years experience and make sure you didn't enter a wrong course like ITE Hairdressing to sian Ah Lians.

Follow that faithfully, you will become an Australian PR and be proud of it, because your HR director who spout shit will not be able to qualify.  If you are lucky enough to gain entry to the lift repair industry in Australia, you will be rewarded with a payscale that fairly compensate what you work for.

Good luck

I was struggling with a hot pot of bubbly boiling black liquid when someone knocked on the door. Boy, some of those chicken they sell in shops can be really large and hard to flip but I had to, to give it an even braise.

It was Singaporean mum, M, at the door, back to her chiobu look. She looked like she had shed some weight from her pregnancy. Each time she goes to Singapore for a long holiday, she will insist she gains a lot of weight from her binges. However when she returns to Perth, I see the exact opposite. Something going on in the airplane that I do not know about? Something about the atmospheric pressure in Perth pushes our fats in? Shrug.

I was very touched M took the trouble to pop by my place with a bunch of her famous "Lychee Grapes." She even left her baby in the car at the risk of being fried in the sun just to deliver them to my door. And there I was, not answering to her frantic knocks, flipping a chicken in braise broth. Well, the Lychee Grapes was actually made famous by Singaporean mum, M. I heard nothing of it before. Over the last 1-2 years, I've been hearing her ranting about it. "Those grapes taste like LYCHEE!" she claims. You know the feeling when someone has eaten the holiao and tell you how amazing it was and you can only purse your lips and say, "Bluff lah, they must be sour."

This year, since I have move into the grape zone, I have full access to beautiful vineyard views every day. Needless to say, when the grapes finally starts to ripe, I bring my family to stock up on grapes once we finish ours. Due to the freshness (they pick them on the same morning), they keep really well, easily going for 1 whole week without refrigeration without rotting. Believe it or not.

Well, if you look at how green the stems (above) of the freshly picked grapes are, try recalling the colour of yours when you buy them in the shop. Nearly all our food in Singapore are imported. Thus, we can never get freshness, unless you redefine fresh. As a matter of fact, we actually do. Just like the way we redefine quality of living, happiness, good education, world class public transport, floods and so on.

I initially found it strange that the vineyards here actually name their grapes. Well, some of us name our cars so.... They give them imaginative names like how those folks name ships, nothing reflective of how the namesakes are supposed to look or taste. How do you think "Sophia" look or taste? You probably will not think it is the name of a grape species. The "Lychee Grapes" that M kindly brought me was supposed to be called "Sable." Sable. What the fuck? Tell you what, I should open a vineyard and name my grapes, "Goli", "Bola Hitam" and "Raistlin's Magnificent Dragon Orb."

"Why you can find but we cannot find?" I asked.

"Sorry! I forgotten the name of it and told you guys the wrong name!" M said.

Anyway, I immediately snatched a grape from M and munched it, before she changed her mind and leave with her Lychee Grapes.