You want to know what I learnt in the army?
"Fuck you understand!"
All thanks to my commanders, I've learnt really well.
Believe it or not, I entered the army as a gamer nerd who had to whisper a word of vulgar language through my hand covering the mouth prior to my enlistment. From boys to men, they said. Lanjiao.
Giving us $100 vouchers to mark 50 years of National Service. What's the bloody occasion? Just because 50 looks like a nice number or because we have decided to scrap NS altogether. Else, the same shit goes on.
A $100 voucher is an insult to NSmen. No, ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to with the value. As we Chinese say, 意思意思，有诚意就好 (doesn't matter the value, the sincerity counts) Besides, it was reported that more than a million NSmen will be receiving a voucher. Potentially, it is a $100,000,000 outlay, by no means a pittance. We have to be realistic. But no, like I said, it has nothing to with the amount.
I have a problem with the lack of sincerity. Reading the second line of the article [link] in Shit Times was enough to send my eyes rolling down the slope. Without the need to read on, I replied the 3 people who sent me the news on whatsapp, "Same old shit." Look, don't slap the word cynic on my forehead too quickly. You have to be a peabrain troglodyte to look past this
In total, more than a million national servicemen will receive the vouchers, which can be used at selected retail and food and beverage outlets.
Look. We were talking about sincerity earlier. If you have some, give us $100 in cash. No bullshit whatsoever. We will use the $100 as we deem fit. Buy milk powder from China, buy a snow shovel from Canada, spend it on a prostitute or convert them in coins and throw the bag into Bedok Reservoir for a satisfying 'Plop!' if we want to. But no. You have to tell us how to spend the $100,000,000 you have allocated from our national coffers, the taxpayers' money. Just like you have been telling us why we shouldn't be allowed our CPF monies, how we should live by an ethnic quota, why we are "homeowners" in international reports or GEs but turn "leasers" when we try to earn a cheap buck through AirBnb. You cannot even let us decide how to use one hundred fucking dollars.
Selected retail and food and beverage outlets. Selected huh. Guess who are the selected ones. Your cronies. Or worse, you. Stakeholders of the said companies. No? I am not implying you are corrupted because you are incorruptible in this system you have perfect, in the eyes of the law you have twisted. No, you are not corrupted but you have no morals. N.o.n.e. Will the food stall struggling in a shady corner of your expensive commercial unit operated by a aspiring nobody entrepreneur get to benefit from your fucking voucher? Or some chain stores related to NTUC or Breaktalk Group Limited et al. To what extend do the government officials and their best buddies' directorships benefit directly or indirectly from the $100 million bucks splashed to celebrate an organisation's 50 year old birthday?
Heard the economy isn't going too well in Singapore lately. Is this part of your creative monetary policy to push the ailing old lady along? Did you try picking up cardboard for exercise first?
So don't bother sending me your voucher. For I will still need to top up with cash if I try to book an NTUC chalet with it. You'll be getting the cash I wouldn't even be spending so as not to to waste your bloody voucher.
Want to reward NSmen, give us some respect. Vouchers? Selected retail? Lan jiao lah! Fuck you, understand!