A Singaporean In Australia

Thanks PSS. Durians seem to be an important agenda on the list of Singaporeans. My neighbour Ashley even told me she would drive me straight up to JB as long as I said 'yes'. That arrangement was made even before I came back. I'm aware how serious the durian business was. Yeah I love durians too but unfortunately, I will lay them off for the time being until perhaps my health improves further.

In the end we didn't go to JB for an King of Fruits assault. There was no way I could wake up after sleeping at 0330hrs in the wee morning of Saturday. It was those kind of occasion where you couldn't say no to. My neighbors set up a feast steamboat at our common corridor that spanned 3-4 makeshift tables. They took turns telling me that was specially arranged to celebrate for my return. Then one thing lead to another. We watched Liverpool losing (gotta happen whenever I watch) to Celtic, and played Winning Eleven till 0300hrs when I finally said, cheers and went home which was just a few steps away. That was really bad for my health and Jen was unhappy to hear about that. She told me all the way from Sydney that I was to sleep early for the rest of my nights here in Singapore, which I meekly abided. That was why I had to say 'no' to the two ladies who turned up at my door with wet hair, knocking softly at my door last night. No, I was not joining Aku for Winning Eleven next few doors away. They quickly scooted away on seeing my half asleep look.

My imagination for this trip was totally opposite. I thought I would be slacking around, walking around exploring Singapore. In the end, I knew I had ran out of time by Day 3. I have yet to finish a long list of things I am supposed to complete. I gave too many promises and have yet to fulfil half of them. Perhaps that was why Joni made doubly sure her friends turn up at my lift lobby as early as they can, so that I could complete my courier tasks for her. From here, we know who is wise. The lao jiaos will always know best. My 6 days stay was an impossible time frame to satisfy everything and everyone. I will therefore, be forced to prioritize.

Our private businesses have to be done. I better get them going by today. My dental appointment will happen tomorrow in JB. Anyone who isn't working is free to join me. I promised Siggi to meet up months and months before but haven't. She warned me not to leave without saying goodbye at least. I looked at the nights on the cards and started to get a bit worried. I have to say no to the Great Waterway jog tonight to Aku later else I will never have the chance to talk to Ah Fai, my secondary school class monitor whom I never met for decades. My poly buddy whom failed to take leave to go JB with me as initially planned asked me to reschedule. To when?! Since I am going to say no to the GWJ, I will not be able to do it to the Great Futsal Night tomorrow. I don't want to miss that. I want to play because I have not touch a ball for years. I know I will have a bad game for sure but it feels excited to have the chance to play with locals again.

I have yet to meet up with Y*Y* from Sydney, who happened to be back here for a vacation as well. We have arrange for a meeting, perhaps so she could grill me in person why I kept finding life great in Perth while she wasn't happy in Sydney. I need to visit my baby God-daughter. It is an absolute must. I have to visit my sister and share her joys of moving into her new flat.

Perhaps Aku was right. I better slip him that 2-3 bucks for him to help me buy toto. Should I be the sole winner, I will be calling Jen in Sydney to fly back to Singapore immediately. Then I will call my boss to extend my leave.

Hi Singapore. It has been awhile. Within hours I will be basking under the moonlight of your humid night. Ah, how interesting will everything be to see the things I grew up with. So familiar yet so distant. The road signs will look bigger. The cars will seem faster, though moving at a slower speed than Perth highways. You don't return to the excitement and action. They just get to you.

It will only be a few days but the reality of Albany's absence by my side is already biting, when I'm still on Perth soil. I have never left her since her birth. It doesn't feel good. A nod of sympathy towards the several friends here whom I just had a dinner feast fit for a king, for they had all endured being away from their children.

Absence does make hearts grow fonder and make days apart seem longer but this doesn't grant me the additional hours. In reality, I have less than 144 hours to do what I have to. There is unfortunately, very little time to explore Singapore the first time in two years, given the fact I didn't manage to during the previous visit last September. There is little time to go after trivalities like food.  I know we overseas Singaporeans are as hungry as the ghosts of seventh month whenever we return. Maybe not this time.

We shall see how it goes. See you in a few hours.

Hello.

Today is National Day. So let me wish every Singaporean a happy National Day. 

I was asked what changes I would like to see in Singapore. Unfortunately it will be improbable that I can come up with any ingenious suggestions that will take Singapore to a golden age. I'm just a man on the street, average as average. My opinion is worth nothing, really. 

On a personal side, my answer to this question is very simple. The short answer is nothing. I was probably expected to come out with a wish list for such a question. In fact, every year some organisations actually do that. I can recall young pretty girls interrupting me during my reading at the top level of Jurong East Library where I used to read my weekends away with my good ol buddy. They flashed their big balls and asked us to write something on them. Unfortunately it wasn't the kind of balls we really wanted to write on. Instead they were those big floaty plastic things that would be thrown into our rivers at the eve of National Day.

Deploying people to collect the wishes of Singaporeans and then dump them into the river. So what do that really symbolise? I do not know. Who really reads them? Anyway,'the fundamental problem here is we are asking Singaporeans what they want in Singapore and what we want may not be necessarily good for Singapore. In fact, we have been struggling to agree what is good. A good example in the current settings would be economic success. Some love it, some hate it.

The Singapore I love deeply, the entities that held the strings to my heart till today, were long gone. I do not envisage it to return, no matter how hard I pray or wish. Perhaps, it was never there before, only an illusion that my young mind couldn't differentiate from reality back then. It was truly amazing and I feel grateful just to experience the wonderful memories that Singapore has given me then. After all, isn't an experience just an array of memories? Isn't history just a collection of experiences?

Singapore will never return to the state I loved a lot as a boy. Where I only could hear the shrill of crickets during my afternoon naps in our 3-room HDB flat. Life was poorer, simpler but a lot happier. The cranky conversations of my uncles and aunties have turned into solemn exchanges in knitted brows during gatherings over the years. Was it simply aging? Or simply the responsibilities of life? Or something else? I do not know.

Back to my wish for no change in Singapore. Any kind of change requires time to prove its effectiveness or failure. That is the disadvantage of active pragmatism. We are constantly looking for gaps to plug or changing the cog in the sprocket. We need to calm down and let things be. Perhaps our minds will be clearer to spot obvious solutions that emerge later on.

I know I should be loving them as my own family. I want to, believe me, I do. I tried and I believed I tried my best. Then time after another, I was made use of. I want to feel as part of the family, not a pawn in a money-making game that I don't want to be part of. I don't want to be involved. Not even if I am promised a share, however big the portion is. I don't need no more favor. One is enough, I've learnt my lesson. I am not willing to pay anymore in return of any favor so I'll rather have none. You weren't there that night, you didn't know what happened and what was being said to me. I wanted a solution,  else some options to select. All I received was silence. You have no option, that was my only option. I wasn't prepared, wasn't preempted and never consulted for my opinion. All shoved down my throat. If I am left with no option, I will make my own. I hate this. I love my family but I am once again made to look the bad guy. It brought us disharmony that  we didn't deserve. Perhaps it was my own undoing. But no, sorry, I wouldn't be part of it. No more. Ask the other nice perfect Caucasian dad to do it. He is the same, if not better.

The weight loss industry in US is worth US$66 billion in 2013. That is incredible, if you consider the solution of weight loss was revealed since the history of man. Just look at pictures of skeletal children spammed everywhere by humanitarian agencies to create awareness. 

If you don't eat enough to make you gain weight, you lose weight. That's the only secret. The bulk of ANY weight loss program is simply marketed with whatever concept that was built around this simple rule. In the exercise camp, the idea is to get you to burn off more calories than you consume, thus weight loss. In the diet camp, you lose weight whether you choose to consume less or eat/drink weird products you have never seen before at stipulated timings. You've heard of a person who declare that he or she gains weight even by just drinking plain water. That's the genes camp. He asked if you are born white, black or yellow, there is nothing you can do about it unless you do a Michael Jackson, right? Right. So if you have fat genes and all the family members are fat, bad luck right? 

Hmm. Perhaps the genes camp folks should ask those from the diet and exercise camp what they feel about their theory. Let's take the car as an analogy. In many ways a car is similar to how a human body functions. 

The air filter is the lung

The engine is the heart

The ECU is the brain

The oil filter is the liver

The fuel filter is the kidney

The head light is the eye

The honk is the mouth

The air intake valve is the nose

The drain plug is the pee pee

The exhaust pipe, your asshole

See, easily 10 similarities off the hand. Basically the genes camp is trying to tell us that the car can run on water, with turbo charged capability. I'll like to get that car.

Personally I experienced a few weight spikes and loss since my teenage years. Though my range isn't very wide, at around 15 kg variation, it was enough to make a difference in my lifestyle such as being unable to fit into the older clothes etc. I'm currently back at my secondary school weight. That is the low I had never hit before from 17 years old onward. I wonder if I should share my thoughts this weight loss to benefit the others. Don't worry, you don't have to get cancer to lose weight.

This year, Winter came a month late and ended a month early. So we had July as the sole Winter month. As far as I'm concerned, Winter was over though we have almost a full month of Winter left on the calender. The calender is only a guidebook. So are scriptures, gospels, textbooks or technical manuals, written by human beings of the past as accurate as they could in their days. Guides do not account for changes.

I had been a lazy ass over the past 2 weekends because of the tedious 12-hour shift work routine, which ended last Friday. I bummed a lot, did very little at home and didn't open my email inbox. During the last 2 working weeks, I didn't even bother to draw the shuttles at the factory at 0500 hrs and left that till beyond 0700 hrs. So, I wouldn't have been able to observe the timing of the sun rise. Today, it was as clear as the bright sky greeting me at 0630 hrs in the morning that early Spring was here. I should have known, I spotted a single young bush fly on the wall last Thursday. These guys have awaken from hibernation and have begun to hatch for the onslaught 3-4 months later.

It is a constant reminder to myself to emphasize on observing more, reading less, thinking more, memorizing less. Past records only serve us to our early demise, if we hold on to them tightly clutched to the chest when the fire is licking our butts. Living life out of the book is a tiring process, no doubt. Relying on luck isn't a bad thing because it may very well outlast our lifespan, damning plans meaningless. After all man proposes, God disposes. Relying on faith however, takes holistic learning out of us because the textbook do not account for changes. Faith is excellent for strength but that should be a pushing force from the back, not a pulling one from the front.

Whilst this is of absolute zero importance to me during my Singapore days, it is paramount today. Things have change and are still changing. We will have to observe, and react when the time requires of us to do so. The only thing to do at the moment is to hibernate like the deadly Summer flies. And fly when we must.

Yes, I can imagine if principal Marion Tan were to say yes, St Margaret Secondary School would have to be renamed to St Margaret Nunnery. Alright, she was exaggerating of course. There would probably be a couple more punky funky girls who may shave their heads bald because no boys would stroke their abundant silky hair. That would be about it, no? "Everybody coming to school with a bald head?" Nah.


In this case, even one more botak would be one too many because the principal could not even tolerate 3 botak head girls which made up less than 1% of her cohort. You have to understand it is extremely difficult for a principal to answer to her fellow principals during social meetings if any were to ask, "Eh, why your school so many nun ah?"


It is no longer fashion to aspiring to be an Er Mei sect leader in this modern era. Going by the same principles, it would be understandably illegal for girls to let their long nice hair down in school because no principal would want to be known as the 姥姥 among the 倩女幽魂. Basically, girls should wear their hair neatly like any professional Office Lady would. After all, don't schools function to prepare youth for work rather than providing them an education these days?

Sometime ago, a little boy created news by getting his hair cut by teachers before he was allowed to enter the examinations hall. Funny that schools frown upon long hair in boys but no hair in girls. But rules are rules. Rules are made to be followed, no question about it. That probably explains why the MOE chose "Moulding the future of our nation" as their motto. Ideally, every little one should be manufactured out of the mold so that they could contribute as functional future economic numbers when the current batch of old farts finally call it a day. So that during the school assembly, the cohort must look uniform. Anyone who stands out, is the sore thumb.

So much for cultivating thinking individuals. So much for promoting creativity. So much for creating a gracious society. Our distrust in human decency makes it impossible for us to tolerate the good, bad and the ugly. Unfortunately that is the Singaporean way of solving problems. We do not nip it in the bud. We simply cut down the entire bush.

Outside the education realm, the authorities work with similar mindset. For example decades ago, someone claimed that old folks emptied their CPF stash not too long after they withdrew everything. Based on the antics of the minority, the CPF withdrawal was limited to 50%, then withdrawal age was increased umpteen times, before the Minimum Sum policy was created.

I'm not sure what values are we instilling in our youth by insisting on girls who shaved their heads for charity, to wear wigs to school. Was it about discipline or vanity? There is a thin line between maintaining an ideal turnout and judging an individual by appearance. There are so many teachers or ex-teachers around me. Tell me, is education about following the rules or learning?

******

How does it work here? Bring Ang Bao? Or gift? Don't want to stick out like a sore thumb. Must wear clown suit right? Bobian.

When I showed my workshop colleague my finishing move during the deadly face-off with Albany in a wrestling match, he exclaimed, "Wow, you were lucky not to break your back!"

No, not only I didn't aggravate my back injury last Saturday, I scored a resounding victory over my nemesis who had kept a clean winning streak over me for the past year. This would mark her first defeat, a memorable moment that should be recorded in the Hall of Fame.

"Times are bad, why don't you send her to childcare and get your wife to work?" the same fella remarked, eyeing the same clothes I had been wearing to work for the past year.

I had been conveniently shelving the idea because Albany was only a baby back then but she is a toddler now. I don't think most of my concerns are anything new to parents who went there before. Over here, the kind of maid system we have in Singapore is uncommon because that will be extremely expensive. I'm glad that isn't an option because I believe I wouldn't enjoy the presence of non-kin living under the same roof. If I like living with random people, having my meals cooked and ready for me in time, I would have signed on as a infantry regular.

I would like her to be taken care by Jen but at the same time Albany needs to start socializing. I wouldn't want to deprive her the socializing skills that I lack. From my observations, she should do much better than her dad in this aspect so I shouldn't be holding her back. I don't need Jen to work. She can stop working as long as she wants to. We are not well-off. No doubt, more money is good but I don't see the point of living life working for money. It's enough that one of us are going through that already. If Jen is to work, cash should be the by-product of a passion. Hopefully one day both of us can enter that realm, be it individually or together. 

Perhaps I should conduct a "Family Conversation" to discuss about this but I have been too lazy to come up with pre-planned scripts and stuff. So personalized chats with the wife tonight should be sufficient.