Because Fuck You

I grew to like the mythology of phoenix during my teens. In my early childhood, being from a Chinese family, I was taught that a dragon is a masculine symbol and phoenix is, of course, a feminine symbol. After learning how to read at 13 years old, I got myself some fantasy materials that offered an alternative perspective of a phoenix. We all heard of mythology.

A phoenix is a myth because nobody has seen one. That will be similar to aliens if you consider that over the years, thousands have seen aliens but the idea of aliens remains a myth. On the other hand, because somebody can prove gravity works, it became a scientific fact though nobody has actually seen gravity before. Come to think of it, how does gravity works? We have been told gravity exists else we would be floating in the air. Unlike a magnet pulling a selective range of metals and minerals, gravity pulls everything regardless of properties, race, language and religion. Thus despite no one could really explain how and why gravity works, the world agrees that gravity exists because the idea of gravity seems legit. 

Religion stuffs on the other hand are pretty messed up. Unlike gravity which works 24/7 and 365.25, the idea of God was less straightforward, inconsistent and sometimes even contradictory. On top of that, there are more than one idea out there which makes things more confusing that it already is. That was why I grew up without engaging religion. There are things that are as consistent as gravity in this world. Many things in life works scarily like computer programming. When you stop to question why are things designed to function this way and nobody has the answer, the only answer will be God. If one don't believe in the idea of God, he'll just have to accept things happen because it is the way it is. Life is too short to pursue every single answer.

The things I referred to above are cycles of life. Cycles exist everywhere, in all aspects of life from nature to the most scientific man-made entity. Morning and night comes everyday, probably even long after every single human is wiped out from the face of Earth in the future as foretold. In school we learnt that plants and trees produces oxygen through photosynthesis but takes in oxygen at night. We also learnt about water cycle whereby water goes through evapouration, condensation and finally returns to ground as rain. Not many of us realised our air conditioner works in a similar water cycle logic whereby chemical compounds are forced to evapourate and condense over and over again in an artificial eco-system.

All living things in the world abide by the rules of cycle. Animals and insects are programmed to survive. In performing their acts, they go through the cycle of young, maturity, mating, reproduction and death. Humans may be the special breed who seeks to break out of their life cycle. We seek the meaning of life, the reason of our existence and question the need for routine. Perhaps in doing so, by breaking out too far our original intended life cycle, we are moving closer to the demise of human life. Or perhaps eradication is actually part of a human life cycle.

Just like a phoenix.

The idea of a phoenix is incredulous but believable at the same time. It isn't holy or anything mysterious. A phoenix dies like anything else. Legend has it that when a phoenix approaches the end of its lifespan it ignites itself in fire and dies. That's believable. I mean, some humans detonate themselves to die don't they? So how unbelievable is a bird setting itself on fire? Here comes the cool part. Well according to legend a phoenix rises from its ashes in a rebirth after a long long time. A human couldn't possibly rise from ash though some species could possibly have risen from their asses. Perhaps in future, some species could even rise from their graves "if something is wrong". Zombie apocalypse is very real.

I don't have to believe the idea of a phoenix is real. I am intrigued with it because it is just a simple life cycle which holds a meaningful meaning to me. The spirit of the phoenix is such that each time we are down, make sure we rise again. To those who disdain you and everything you believe in, you're probably that annoying cockroach that doesn't die - and can fly.  In reality it doesn't matter how many times we get plummeted down. A phoenix is never the strongest creature around. Neither it is the fastest, smartest or most beautiful. What's remarkable we can learn from the fiery bird is such that each time we fall, regenerate, rise and fly like the legendary fiery phoenix. Pick what you like to beat me with here. Anti religion, anti human, anti immortal politician, anti zombies whatever. The last time I did a search on google for people who gives a fuck, my name was not on the list.

I'm back. Because, fuck you.


  1. OMG.


  2. Such a happy surprise for me,sick with a cold and unable to sleep at 4 in the morning, suddenly the world is sunnier. Yay!!!


  4. haha nice one! I'm glad for some reason my fingers still itched to click on the bookmark to your blog (even when I thought it was a dead blog), a completely pleasant surprise to find you still writing!

  5. Thank you for continuing to write !

  6. Welcome back bro, keep writing when u have time in between fam n work :)

  7. Yeah... Pleasantly surprised. I have been clicking onto your blog to check for new updates despite your decision to abandon writing since June 13. I am glad that my persistence is not futile effort.

  8. Welcome back! I enjoy reading your candid posts laced with humour. Thanks for continuing to share your story.

  9. Datuk,
    You are welcome back! Tuck Yew!

  10. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Simon @ Sydney27 June 2012 at 18:50

    Fantastic! Well done! Be backed and be stronger!

  12. You are a man after my heart, Nix.
    I'm born in the year of the Chicken (forget about using the term Rooster for a while, unless there is a fragile ego afraid to be bruised).
    In Chinese restaurants, they serve chicken and call it Phoenix.

    By now, you may have already guessed, or not, how my userid/username is pronounced.

    The Phoenix is not weak.
    It's original, and therefore cool.
    Where others fear their own death and destruction, the Phoenix glorifies in its rebirth, and despite burning all in flame into ashes, it returns again, updated to the latest OS version.

    No wonder in Chinese sayings and symbology, the 'weak' Phoenix is paired with the 'mighty' Dragon, as one big happy family (龙凤一家亲).
    Perhaps another name for Phoenix is Cockroach.
    And if anyone calls us Chicken, thinking we're boastful cowards, then… the joke's actually on them, and they won't understand why.

    Now thinking about it, your name rhymes with Phoenix, or is a short form of it, e.g. Cat is often short for Catherine.

    Welcome back.

  13. so fast itchy oledy?

  14. Welcome back Nix. Writing is your gift, to inform, inspire & to educate :) Cheers! Paul

  15. welcome back.
    I visit your blog every now and then, had a feeling that you will be back.

  16. I read the whole thing and was like 'huh?'

    But the last line is LOL, awesome.