A Singaporean In Australia

The last time I checked, my hand stopped growing since puberty. So it couldn't be a growing hand and there was no doubt about it - burgers in Singapore are shrinking as you read this. I clearly remember we needed two hands to hold a burger. That was the gold standard of burgering. Today I would look silly holding a burger with both hands. What next? Holding a burger with two fingers like a tart?

It couldn't be my imagination or a result of memory loss. I noticed hawkers decided to serve their Char Siew in Wanton Mee wafer thin like beef slices used in Gyudon. I wouldn't think that was done to cater to the aging Singapore population who couldn't chomp at meat chunks so heartily like the past anymore.

Elsewhere when Tucky drove me to one of the places of our teenage days 'tea garden', he warned me drinks in Mc Donald's were no longer 'affordable.' Well, we used to buy a drink and sat down in Mc Donald's to chat nights away even before we entered the working world. Why did we feel the pain buying a drink as full fledged working adults? Because $3.10 for a small Iced Lemon Tea. I rubbed my eyes and thought I was still in Perth. What happened to 'affordable Singapore'?

The following week, I met Aku and Ah Mag for a meal in Kovan Hawker centre. I ordered Kway Zhup and was billed $3.50. Fair price these days, said Aku, though, "The guy serves a bigger portion at Lorong Ah Soo for the same price." As I rolled the few uninspiring small pieces of intestines about in daze, I hoped he was right. We were already in a hawker centre, what would the prices be in a coffeeshop or foodcourt? Surely even three-meals Balakrishnan would think thrice before commenting about affordable hawker food these days, if he knew better.

When mum asked me how many rolls of Chee Cheong Fun I wanted to eat, I glanced at the price list and widened my eyes. $2.20 for a single roll of plain rice flour sheet in soy sauce? Ok, I know it was unrealistic to expect 40 cents per roll like the past but how much money do Singaporeans need to spend to fill the stomach these days? Is it almost time to cook our own food in Singapore instead of dining out? That isn't a bad thing really, considering how many Singaporeans I met told me they wanted to migrate but balked at the idea because they couldn't cook a pea and would "die out there."

You know, I wouldn't blame the hawkers. Many of them cited high prices of food supply these days forced them into a corner with only 3 options to choose from. To increase the prices of their products, downsize the portion to maintain the same price or end their business. From the prices of raw ingredients I saw in the supermarket, I wouldn't fully agree. Supplies should be still affordable for hawkers to produce food at low prices. Labour cost remain notoriously low in global context. The remaining culprit has to be rental cost. Commercial rental cost is ridiculously high in Singapore today. In the past, hawkers were able to keep their food prices low because they did not have the same level of overhead pressure. At the very least, they broke even and earned nothing. A hawker today will lose a fortune or even be debt ridden if he screws up his venture. Many hawker stalls these days operate on a 24 hour basis in order to keep afloat, just like taxi driving.

I asked a noodle stall operator in Singapore how much he was paying to his landlord. He told me, "$6,000 a month." I estimated his profit margin to be about $1.50 per bowl and made a mental calculation. The poor chap would have to sell 4000 bowls of noodles to pay off his rental before he could start earning his salary. Assuming he worked 6 days a week, 8 hours a day, he will need to sell 18 bowls per hour in order to pay rent only, excluding other overheads such utility bills and transport. Would you expect a hawker to sell 60 bowls of noodles per hour (1 bowl per min) for 8 hours straight on? Not possible. No wonder they need to operate 24 hours to make a reasonable profit.

Even in "expensive expensive Australia", commercial rental is dwarfed by the Singapore figures. Say a lunch bar at Fremantle, considered a prime area, would require a more manageable $400-$500 a week. Perhaps that is why food operators in Perth reminds me of hawkers in the past in the sense they seem more relaxed and happier. They do not rush or bark at you. Incidentally, the only hawker that gave me a shit face and a rude attitude was actually a Singaporean who runs his stall at Spencer Village. I never ordered from him since and never again. I didn't move to Perth to take these nonsense from hawkers. I simply cannot understand why Singaporeans will tolerate bad attitude just to get a taste of the food they enjoy. No wonder it is so easy for the government to screw our butts and call us softies in our faces.

Culture comes from the word cult. When specific practices and beliefs propagates by recognition and acceptance from a micro community level to wider society, a unique culture is developed. Bearing that in mind, the idea of building a culture is rarely fruitful unless a great deal of time and resources are put into it. Take for example, the Singapore courtesy campaigns that had been going on since I knew how to spell the word 'futile' until even courtesy bear Singa decided to fuck it and retire, the courtesy culture in Singapore remains weak.

There was an old school joke I read on the internet. It was a screenshot of how a student answered his English composition that asked of him to write a mock letter from a Chinese coolie who went to Singapore some 6-7 decades ago to his family in China. The amusing part was that the student wrote the letter entirely in Chinese, whether he or she did that intentionally or innocently and the funny part was how the teacher who set the question would have realise his stupidity as he wouldn't be able to give a mark for that attempt on a English composition. Whether or not the student took role-playing a bit too seriously, technically he wasn't wrong, for no Chinese coolie would have written and sent a letter back in English. That was a classic illustration of real life. Everyone has to follow the rules, no matter how stupid they are or pay the price to be different.

I spied on a small Singaporean family seated a row in front of us on the plane. It was easy to spot a Singaporean family. It wasn't because they talked loudly and displayed inconsideration to others. On the contrary, the family was soft spoken and had two well mannered toddlers with them. In comparison, little Albany was too active for my preference that night.

A little side note about Albany's travelling record. It has been a nightmare travelling with Albany so far. During her debut flight barely few months old, she managed to sleep most of the journey away. We were required to pick her up from the plane cot and held her in our arms during landing. Several toddlers and babies began to cry due to the discomfort in their ears caused by the sudden change in atmospheric pressure. Then it happened. Baby Albany let out a lungful of her trademark wail. Between a hiatus, the plane went silent and everyone turned to look in our general direction to check out what happened. Even the toddlers and babies who stopped crying at Albany's sudden shriek. It left me slightly red faced.

Her second trip was a nightmare for us. It was my most painful flight experience to date. By then Albany was a young toddler who could hardly speak beyond a few words. It was just one of those nights where she wouldn't settle down and every atom around her seemed to annoy her to no end and everything that used to work had no effect on her. She cried the entire flight away. I was so exhausted but couldn't sleep a wink, holding on to a wiggling unsettled toddler who would cry even louder if we put her back to her seat. Such an experience made me extremely skeptical about my reasons of returning to Singapore for a visit. The key was to spend some time with my parents but it dawned on me right there that flying them into Perth seemed like a better idea instead.

Back to the Singaporean family, I couldn't help but note the differences in between our parenting methods. The children were subdued by their electronic screens throughout the flight. Both of them displayed remarkable skills with their note pads, far surpassed Albany, who could barely do more than random jabs on the screens because of her limited exposure to such technologies. As a result, Albany's attention span towards the notepad was much shorter and she grew restless quicker than the other toddlers.

Another key identifier of the Singaporean family was the manner they could summon their objects of need by simply waving a few finger movements in the air as if they were casting some mysterious arcane spells. With three fingers curled to depict the letter 'C' and a slight twist of the lady's wrist, a bottle of water appeared in her hand within seconds. Two fingers on each hand seemingly pulling a piece of string in the air yielded her a piece of straw for her drink. All these magic made possible with the support of a darker skinned south-east Asian woman. Meanwhile, the father of the toddlers remained seated throughout the entire flight without lifting a finger to attend to his children. Food and beverages were served for him as he read his newspapers like a boss. I stared at him in awe as Albany crawled onto me for yet another hug.

Fortunately, we managed to make Albany sleep this time and she had a good nap for 1.5 hours. The spacious Scoot plane also left me enough leg room to adjust my posture. There was even enough space (though barely) for Albany to lie down for her nap, a contrast to the previous nightmare on TigerAir. We even arrived at Singapore almost 30 minutes earlier than scheduled. Throughout the flight, Albany barely gave us any trouble and we could even afford to steal some rest along the way. That was the best flight we had with Albany so far, no doubt about it.

When Singaporeans think migration, what do they really think? Is this about getting the fuck out of here, to just about anywhere, or is there more to it? My friend Duchess M is an Australian PR, not yet employed since her move to Perth 2 years ago and she spends approximately a quarter of a year of her time in Singapore over a several flights a year. In comparison, I have been flying back to Singapore to visit my parents at least once a year for about 10-14 days each time and I know Singaporeans, such as Winking Doll and Mr S, who will never return to Singapore in almost any circumstances. So that made me wonder if emotional ties define the level of term "migration".


Migration is loosely regarded as a person or family moving out of their current country of residence to another, assumedly having obtained a permit to work in the new country. Prior to my move to Perth, I used to view the approval of a Permanent Residence application as a clear intention to migrate. I am not so sure now. After all, a Permanent Resident is technically a longer term work visa that needs to be renewed like its counterpart, albeit at a differing set of requirements and duration. Think buying several "single trip" mrt tickets as compared to an "Ezlink" card. Better deal or convenience aside, they basically get you to the same places. That probably addressed my amusement of knowing many Australian PRs who never left Singapore until the validity of their visas are ran down to their last days against meeting people who refused to leave Perth despite what got them there legally in the first place were long expired. I came to realise migration as we commonly know it, lies in the state of mind, not on a piece of document and certainly not the actual physical whereabouts of a person. For all you know, his or her heart never left.


What I expressed could be very much reflected by the attitudes of the Singapore counter staff I had to deal with for my administration needs whenever i return to Singapore. From time to time I would be asked about my employment or residing status (you just have to trust the government agencies to be, erm, interested) I observed how I received a different reaction when I said I migrated to Australia as opposed to I was based or stationed in Australia for work. For the former, I received chilling stares as if I just spit at Mr and Mrs KFC's portraits on the wall behind them in their presence. For the latter, they gave me a pleasant smile as if they meant 'welcome home'. From my perspective, there is no real difference in the terminologies used. If a person is consistently outstationed so much so he spends more time overseas than his country, will you consider him migrated? After all, human migration is simply defined as physical movement by humans from one area to another.


As mentioned earlier, I believe the real way to deem a true migration lies in the state of mind. There is a difference when someone tells me, "I'm going to Singapore," and, "I'm going back to Singapore." Note how someone who spends 20 years in Australia and declared, "I'm returning home for a vacation." Whereas others walk out of the airports of their respective Australian city and thought, "It is great to be home again." I believe most Singaporeans can resonate with this easily. They can sniff out which "Singaporean" standing on the podium staring blankly at the rising of the crescent and five stars will soon return to "motherland." They can pick out who are set to stay and grudgingly accept who they are in eventuality.


If we think about it, it works the same way at the other ends of the shores. How we can be easily read out there just like foreigners cannot escape our eagle eyes in Singapore. What message you give the hosts of your adopted country will shape the manner you will be treated. It isn't about the colours of your papers or even the weight of your purse.

I wrote The Broken Dream some time ago to warn future Singaporeans against diving blindly into the housing market with the old rules in mind. It was not to be mistaken for my disappointment about the housing situation in Perth. They are two different matter altogether. Besides, you would not imagine I needed 3 years in Perth to know what is going on here. I may not be the smartest guy around but I'm not dense. In fact, I wrote that for those dear countrymen whom appeared to be so. I sure hope I was wrong and my remainders weren't necessary.

If we put housing stuff in Perth aside and just focus our Singapore housing market, the public housing sector in particular, I believe a vast majority of the population still believe in the old "Housing price will always go up," mantra. Or at least, in the "long run." Sure, if your "long run" refers to a span of 2 decades, where housing demand will be heavily boosted by our liberal migration policies to fulfill the goal of increasing our current population to a ballpark figure of 6.9 million or even 10 million, if murmurs were to be believed. Perhaps in such a situation, housing prices will really continue to increase steadily. However to expect the value of a HDB flat to triple like some of our parents' flats is foolish because such a phenomenon will never happen again in my lifetime. In fact, we should be happy if we could get back all the interests we paid to HDB or the bank when we sell. Any real profit is a bonus.

I'll reiterate what I mentioned in The Broken Dream. Yes, of course a house will make a good investment if you sink an entire shipload of cash into it. Your house will give decent returns either by capital appreciation or income yields over the years even on a weak housing market. It is a totally different story if you take a huge loan to finance the house, based on cut throat interests incurred due to how much longer it takes for our generation to repay the debt in full as compared to our parents' generation.

As most of us know the power of compounding by now, we will be well aware how dangerous it will be to have that working against us. So thread carefully my friends. I'll leave you with some professional writings about housing basics from a Singaporean, an ex-teacher, who moved to Perth in 2010 and had been working as a business banker since. Hope you will find it as useful as I did.

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17 September 2011. A day I may not forget in a long while. That was the day we landed in Perth. After a private teary moment I shared with my mum over my final phone call, I took the most sombre flight in my life. Jen and I held hands and spoke little throughout the flight. She could be sleeping but I wouldn't know, as I was lost in my own deep thoughts. 

That was a leap of faith, no doubt about it. I felt neither fear nor excitement, just wondered hard what would be. I was hopelessly lost in Singapore and wished I could find myself elsewhere. I wanted to experience something different, something new and preferably but not necessarily better. I was prepared for a rough trip but expected a fair trade in return. Yet how could a broken man gauge a trade when he knew not what he wanted? Perhaps there was beauty in naivety, seeing how it led me on a wild ride. Three years have passed since. What a ride it has been.

On many lazy Saturday afternoons, I would sit at the table sipping hot green tea while reading a book. During my distracted moments, I couldn't help wondering how I would live my life those while if I did not leave Singapore on that defining day. Would I be holding the same job? Would I be view my Singapore life in a much more positive light/ Would I enjoy fatherhood as much? Would I have died from cancer already? The questions were limitless but the answers were obviously, null. 

Like I mentioned many times before, the 'what ifs' only exists in the mind. In reality, life is but a linear progression. You will never be better or worse off due to a different decision made previously because only nothing but that single decision will be made at every moment that leads to the next. No matter how little one can do to bring forth big changes as an individual, we are still the masters of our own fate. If you don't believe you have the strength to make impact differences to you life, try drawing a straight horizontal line. Then draw another line that deviates in a 0.01 degrees angle from the first line. That is probably out the human limits to perform. Even if you use a drawing software on a computer, you will see a set of parallel lines because the differences are simply too small. However once you zoom 500% into it, you will see a clear deviation between two lines. Extend both lines long enough, the differences will be apparent even to the naked human eye without the need to zoom.

Thus the will to change must weather the test of time before any meaningful difference can be notable. One must be patient enough to nurture the seed of change in the mind in order to watch it bloom. I have to constantly remind myself because my next goal is much further away from my reach than Perth 3 years ago. If you have in mind to do something similar to what I did, always remember opportunities wait for no unprepared man. Even if you have absolutely no idea where to begin or what to do, you have to maintain your 0.01 degrees angle long enough till one day, the big picture will be so obvious you will wonder why you couldn't see it before.

Hi asingaporeanson, 

I have been following your blog for a long time and I'm loving it!  Thank you for starting such a great blog!!

I have been toying with the idea of moving out from S'pore for the longest time but never have enough courage to move forward with my plan.

After years of contemplation, and now in my mid-thirties, I don't want to waste anymore time being part of the rat race, engaging in meaningless conversations with family and friends on nothing but work, promotion, remuneration, material possessions etc.  I really have no wish to conform to the norms and lead a life that others think is right in their opinion.

But sadly, after scouring through the SOL, my occupation is not in demand at all. I have a general business degree with nearly 14 years of administrative and sales support experience. 

Now, I am thinking if I should do a career switch to preschool education, work for a couple of years in this industry and use it as a ticket out of S'pore.  But I know there's also a possibility that it might be removed from the SOL even before I have gained enough experience.  

I would like to seek for your advice.  Do you think it is a going to be a wise move to switch career?  What other possible options do I have to make the move to Australia?

Sorry for the lengthy email... I hope you are not annoyed by it.  

Thanks,

the confused one

Hey XJ,

I was unemployed in Singapore for almost 9 months in 2008. Alas, the months had became a flash in the mind. I wish I had made myself write down my thoughts back then, as the different feelings that I experienced would have been far richer than the content you found here so far. My unemployment came on the back of quitting my decently paid cushy job in a statutory board. 9 months was a long time in unemployment, in Singapore terms. As I found out later, it is common for people to take a year off their careers in Australia. They call this a gap year and the social stigma for such a practice is tremendously lower as compared to Singapore where it is almost a sin not to stay in employment, a liability to the nation. My family, girlfriend and my friends probably thought I was crazy and they definitely felt I was irresponsible and disappointed in me at some points, if not the whole time.

The reason why I brought my grandfather story out was that a few sentences in your email gave me some flashbacks of those days in 2008, where I spent a bit of time thinking about what have been in your mind for years. 

And I felt you.

The most lonely thing about my unemployment wasn't about walking the the parks aimlessly when my peers were working, churning out the gold coins when my purse got lighter by the day. It wasn't about having lunch with only my dog while everyone was having theirs with colleagues or business associates. I found out that one of the most fearful thing in life was acquiring strong perspectives that not a single soul around me could relate to; and that I could only go on in quiet torment wondering if it was just depression. I found out years later it wasn't.

I wouldn't say moving out of Singapore made me a happier person. It might be just a coincidence or maybe not. It could be blogging, the only avenue that has been allowing me to vent my deepest frustrations somewhere, not really intended to be read by the public and it was never my wish to find agreement. For example, when I wrote about buying a house in Australia may not necessarily be the wisest decision under certain circumstances, it got me the familiar skeptical and disbelieving responses.

If you wish not to conform with societal norms and be your own woman, the toughest challenge you have to face is yourself and I'm dead serious about this although this advice may sound absolutely useless to you at the moment. For technically you can be in Australian soil by next week if you enroll in a course in TAFE or other course provider with a few thousand dollars. You will be granted a student visa that allows you to work for 20 hours a week in your school term and no limit during school holidays. If you work hard enough, it will be enough for you to fund yourself through the entire course, or the next course and the next course if you wish until you feel sick of it. If you select your course wisely and strongly driven, you should find employment here. In my opinion, Australia has no reason to reject a qualified and highly motivated worker in the workforce.

I am not advocating you should do the above. Instead, I painted a scenario of personal challenge and it is up to you to prove how much you want to break out of the Singapore conformity cage. Scenarios are up to your creativity, as some may even suggest in jest to find a Aussie guy to marry. At the moment, do not get too focused on legal boundaries of possible options. From someone who is on the other side of the turf, getting here isn't the biggest challenge but whether you can live with yourself from this point. And that, you'll have to be true to yourself and decide.

Dear Sheikh,

I'll share with you the standard items.

1. Job links - You've gotta take a look at the list our Singaporean daughter Seianko compiled here. Among the list, you'll find leading job websites such as seek.com. That may be a good place to start off if you have nothing on the plate now.


2. As you did not suggest what kind of jobs you will be looking for, it is difficult to pin point some avenues closer to your targets. Obviously, many 'simpler' jobs will not even be listed on the Internet. You may find some on the local newspapers or sometimes only on community newspapers. If you are looking for a high level job, companies may even bypass the Internet and rely on headhunting agencies instead. So, be sure to target a particular industry or sector so that you can start researching the most probable sources to find job links.


3. Be assiduous. When you are jobless in a new country, your job is to find a job. Go ahead and take a few days or even weeks off to enjoy and adapt to the new environment if you wish but once you are ready, get your head down and treat job seeking as your day job. From this day onward, it's shape up or ship out. Set up a job seeking time table and stick to it religiously. Be disciplined, accept no compromise.


4. "Aussify" your CV. Try reading this to get an idea.


5. Write a customised cover letter for a particular job. While this is a really annoying chore, consider it as a courting process. A guy who uses the exact approach for every single girl he encounters will end up with only his right hand on Christmas Eve night. Unless your marriage was arranged, you know exactly what I am talking about. So apply the same nimbleness to your job hunt.


6. Cold calling. My friend Stephen got his new job by calling his old school where he received his training for a chat. It gave him an opportunity to find out the situation in his school as well as a chance to update his potential employer his current status and qualifications. Stephen found out that there was no vacancies by the end of the call. In a couple of weeks' time, Stephen returned to Singapore for a visit and received a call from the training centre. He was told that they were expanding and needed someone as the role of a trainer/lecturer. An interview was scheduled as soon as he returned to Perth and he clinched the job. It isn't uncommon to do cold calling in Australia. Some even turn up personally in companies to hand their CVs over the counter. These 30 seconds impressions may last longer than we expect.


7. Approach companies directly even when no vacancies are listed in their websites. If you are experienced in a particular field and can offer plenty to their company, tell them explicitly in your cover letter. Or better, email their COE and give him a critique about his company's products and give suggestions to improve their product or services. Meet up for a chat if there is an opportunity.


8. Networking. Different strokes for different people so choose your poison - joining religious groups, cults, brotherhood, bikie gangs or just go fishing, whatever that you feel comfortable with. Hey but once you are in, don't forget to ASK. If you are too shy, just wear a T-shirt declaring, "No Job to Tithe" God will deliver.


9. By default, nobody will call you for an interview. Thus, never fail to contact the human resource department of the companies if you have not received a response within a week or two. This is a common practice in Australia. Don't worry about appearing like a pest because employers will rather take in an enthusiastic pest than a self entitled gentleman.


10. Tell everyone you have a conversation with that you are looking for a job. Yes - even the cashier at the supermarket if you will. You never know who knows who and when someone is looking for someone.