A Singaporean In Australia

Unfortunately I couldn't take a picture of the original advertisement before it was updated. It was sold because I bought it. It must be the fastest car purchase I ever made. I saw the ad, sent the guy a text, he replied it was still available, I test driven it after work (drove Ugly Green to work today because Jen wasn't using) and agreed to buy it.

The seller even agreed to drive the car to my doorstep after I told him I couldn't take his car because I drove. He got his brother to follow him and took his car back home. His name was Brian, an Irish chap no more than 30 years of age. Young, handsome, blue eyes, tall and even better, isn't a douche bag. Lately I heard some woman sold a house that came with an option to marry her. Not sure if the buyer took the option. I bet if some girls would be interested if Brian offered such options.

Jen reminded me that the owner of Barry White was actually Irish too. That wasn't a bad deal. Barry White was steely and saved me during an accident. Else it would be very likely I would still be driving him to work everyday. So Brian the Irish might represent a good deal after all. I was beginning to form a mental picture of Irish guys car salemen with a beer on one hand.

Unlike Stargazer's replacement, I didn't have compensation money to play around with. Any replacement for Goldilocks was going to cost me money. Goldilocks had paid her dues. $800 a year of depreciation was very decent for a car. However, whatever I would be paying for a replacement car would be a prepaid sum. That would be against the risk of not running it for more than a minimum number of years to make it a great, great deal. So I needed to choose wisely.

Brian's advertisement caught my eyes. He listed his car for $1,800. It was a 2002 Daihatsu Terios, equipped with a 1.3L engine which had ran 159k, a tow bar and some crazy bullbar with spot lights in front. There was even a retro flick switch to activate the lights. "Country driving," Brian grinned. My mind was only on the bull bar and how Yoda's Black Vio would come against it. No chance for him, Satki or not.

The advertisement took me to Ascot. The neighbouring suburb of Redcliffe, the first suburb I when I arrived. Driving along the streets with random horse dumping brought back a lot of fond memories. We used to take long walks from Redcliffe to as far as the Swan River edge along Ascot before I found work. We were advised that such walks will do pregnant women a lot of good. It happened that those walks did me a lot of good instead, calming me down and got me laughing about life again as I joked about Jen's nose so bad that she couldn't even smell horse shit.

I didn't do the thorough inspection that I should. I was actually quite tired with my recent project which I decided not to tell anyone about. Part of me had decided to buy the car, regardless of its condition as I was too tired to go car hunting lately. So I chose to trust my instinct and went for the longest test drive I had ever done. I drove down to Tonkin Highway. Then I turned into Perth Airport and trolled motorists by turning almost 2 rounds at the roundabout. I was trapped in the peak hour traffic along the way back. It felt like that car was my car all along, as if I had owned it for a long time.

Surprisingly, Brian didn't look surprised when I was finally back. He didn't seem too pushy or eager to shove the car to me. Instead he took some time showing me how to push the back seats flat to create a deep boot space when necessary. So it was the best part of buying a car.

Let me tell you this, if you ever buy a used car here and ended up buying one without discount, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you do, make sure you never tell anyone about it or jump into the Swan River, choose one. After so many times of doing this, I realised I had improved. No more looking eager about the deal. In fact, I was prepared to walk away without even naming my price. 

Rule #1. The first person who name his price loses.  Brian seemed to know about this and refused to name his price despite me asking him to tell me his "best price" twice. Eventually, he yielded and told me people were offering him unreasonable prices because the bonnet wasn't resprayed nicely (it looked shit) by the previous owner. I took the opportunity to point out to him that the wind screen had a slight crack and it would take me "a couple of hundreds" to replace it if "it happens". I told him I would also like to respray and do a better job. After mumbling a few more imaginary faults, he told me he was hoping to sell it for not less than $1,500. Rule #1. The first person who name his price loses. Brian lost. He took the price down from $1,800 to $1,500 without me asking.

Rule #2. Negotiate. Since Brian brought down his pricing, I didn't want to go too far. I made sure I didn't appear too impress with his discount. But the truth is before I even see the car I was prepared to pay $1,620 for it. So anything lower was, of course, fine by me. I mustered my most disappointed face I could and casually asked, "Would you do it for $1,400 then?"

Rule #3. Meet halfway. Like I suspect, Brian knew the basic rules and told me he would "meet me halfway." The final price he would offer was $1,450. Deal. We shook hands firmly. And that's how I bought this new old car. The strange thing about this car was that it was actually a 4x4 with a 1.3L engine?! hmm. Since I named the car after the first Irish guy I bought the car from, I'll do the same for this one.

Goldilocks' bad heating condition intrigued me for a few days. Being a lazy bum, I was surprised I actually allowed myself to think over such things. Firstly, I am no mechanic. Having received no training on automobile, there isn't a chance in hell I can do a proper diagnosis on a car fault. Even if I can do it, I can't prove myself right or wrong because I don't have the right tools or knowledge to identify the right part I suspected to be fault. Take for example, I managed to guess the previous fault accurately but I couldn't even find my fuel pump, let alone inspect it. In the end I learnt from the mobile mechanic that he needed to remove the fuel tank to access it as there was no service plate at the back seat like some other cars. 

I have never been a car lover. I don't give a shit how beautiful a dream car looks or the imbal specs a certain model can come with. A car interests me very little as a symbol but it catches my attention as a machine. Given time, I rarely cannot figure out how a simple machine works. A car's complexity however, require more than time. I need first hand contact with it. Unless I have the luxury of going through formal training, the next best thing I can do is to drive an old car. Only then I will learn to identify standard problems, by experiencing them myself. Just like how a person knows when a bad cold or fever is coming after experiencing the early symptoms, full blown and then the recovery stage. That explains why I can tell somebody it is a battery problem with seconds after hearing the noises from the car's failure to start. Because that shit happened to me before. Some 18 months back I was disgusted when my company was charged $450 by a mechanic who came to our factory to inspect the fault of the forklift. He ended up only replacing the battery. That - after I told the boss I was confident that it was a battery fault. A week ago, the same fault happened and I got a colleague to purchase a battery without hesitation. He replaced it within minutes and it cost us $100 with minimal fuss. The officer manager was delighted. None of us told the boss.

Without driving an old car, I wouldn't know how easy it was to identify a CV joint creak as well as how and why it creaks. Then I also learnt how replacing a CV boot is more than sufficient to solve the problem rather than replacing the entire shaft. If I don't understand how exactly the CV joint works, I will be tempted to replace both sets (normally including one will doesn't have problem) because it felt 'more worth' or 'safer' doing so. To put it simply, it's like replacing an entire bicycle wheel for a busted inner tube. Once I learn a bit more about the functions of components, the differentiation between a battery and an alternator fault or between a worn rotor and brake pads will be clearer. Slowly bit by bit, we can learn how to identify tell tale signs such as cloudy engine oil, white smoke from the exhaust, etc. Driving a brand new car will give me the opportunity to learn not about car systems and faults but to perhaps to pick up girls like Satki Yoda with his black Vios.

Ah.... so what could be wrong with Goldilocks this time? The cooling system for sure but which component exactly? There are too many possibilities which can only be narrowed down by a thorough inspection but I know fuck-all about it. However I can deduce based on some facts I observed.

1) I noticed the fan wasn't spinning.

2) It is unlikely that the fan belt is the problem though it squeaks for 2 seconds when I switch start the engine.

3) AC is still running. Alternator appears to be doing well

4) The strangest observant was that the coolant in radiator appeared to be completely drained twice. So it seems that there must be a leak somewhere. Yet, there are days when the coolant level remains constant, as if there wasn't any leak. However, these are the days where I drive no more than 70km/h. Despite the odd fact that leaks doesn't always occur, it is definitely leaking somewhere, perhaps only under certain conditions. It could be a hose, or something much worse.

5) A head gasket bust is definitely possible. Even if it wasn't the reason that caused the overheating in the first place, the first two overheating situations will have damage it to some extent for sure. I saw smoke coming out from that joint once.

Whichever the fault is, none of them is going to come cheap to repair. Based on my feel of the car when I drive it, it was unlikely that it was something economically viable to repair, even if I repair it myself. However, it is unlikely I will scrap Goldilocks at the moment for sentimental reasons. After all, she was with me for 3 years - almost the entire span of my Perth life.

However, I need to go to work. I admit I am a brat who do not know how to take public transport. This brat needs to think fast.

"Why is my orange green?"

"It's so big but why still green?!"

Singaporean Mum, M, was livid. In a typical Singaporean tiger mum fashion, demanding for an explanation from her son's 98/100 test failure in school, she wasn't too impressed with her Mandarin orange tree.

That tree... Where did that tree come from? Ah! It must be that spot that was previously occupied by some useless ornament hedges. I remember hiring a strong pulley to do that job for her. Goldilocks helped me drag that cool device all the way from Midland to Twilight Brook. I was given a trailer to do it. 

So I heard after the day when we pulled that offensive bush out, Duke and Duchess went to the shop and planted an orange tree in its spot. Yes, I have lesser hair by now but surely that couldn't be that long ago? The fact that the tree have produced sizable globes that look like fruits since is quite remarkable. Yet tree is still being asked, "Y u no orange?" I made a mental note to make a cheap signage titled "Stressed Tree" and place it in front of the tree when nobody is looking the next time I visit Brook Palace. Haha. When I used to work in NParks, my job was to rescue trees from evil beings. Haven't fully kick the habit.

It's the thing about growing up in Singapore. Everything has been done in a jiffy. Obtaining steamed rice is lift ride away. Most of us today do not even know the time required to cook a bowl of rice, let alone the time taken to nurture a grain of rice. Efficiency was ingrained in us since we were little kids. We were taught to achieve our goals at the shortest possible time. Any time taken to rest or smell the roses was not encouraged. Don't believe it? Let me share my Primary School Song with you. (I love my Primary School and the memories it gave me btw)

Forward and Onward Rush to Fame

Let us to the World Proclaim

Queenstown Primary School’s the name

Our youth’s and nation’s pride

So onward go and clear the way

And forward march with no delay

So onward go like fearless men

And forward fight unto the end

Together we will do our best

Till tasks are done there’ll be no jest

In us, our nation’s hope do rest

So keep the flag a flying high

My school meant business. Don't mess with us.

I am assuming most Singaporean kids were brought up this way. To be efficient and expect efficiency. After my dear friend LC Ong went on a few overseas tours and experienced a several pleasant acts of motoring patience, she urged Singaporeans to do the same. Unfortunately, patience and efficiency rarely blends in the Singaporean context. The quest for efficiency, combined with our thirst for perfection makes us an admirable yet detestable nationality. Many of us are able to shake off or dilute these traits after a long time of resettling in a different environment. Some will do it faster, some slower, some never do. Many of us 'older birds' found ourselves parroting similar phrases along the lines of "keep your old Singaporean mentality behind" to the newcomers because we know that those traits will only retard the speed they will settle down. The speed. Spot the irony. We can only subdue ourselves but never kill the demons in us.

Dodgymi came to work today because I needed extra hands, all thanks to some genius Singaporean smart alec on our supply end who decided to interpret our specs his way. Generally, I like Dodgymi as a person because he is an honest guy. It's very hard to find honest people these days. What is dodgy about him is that he can tell untruths and pass the lie detector at the same time. How can a person be honest and dodgy at the same time? Dodgymi can and defy all impossibilities. That is because most of the times, he don't even know what he perceive as the truths are not.

Over many stints of working with us, I came to know Dodgymi better and eventually learnt how to read his words more accurately. Dodgy as he is, he is one of the most interesting person I came to know in Perth. Each time he comes back to work after a considerable layoff, he will fill us in with his income hunting tales. Personality wise, he is cheerful, careless, funny and sociable. Everyone loves Dodgymi. He is the complete opposite of me.

This time, Dodgymi wanted me to be his partner dealing with labour hire. That's really odd. When I was in Singapore, my colleague from India also asked me to be his partner. Back then, my Indian colleague told me that if I set up a company in Singapore, he will go back to India to recruit peasants through a training school. Each peasant has to pay a princely sum of S$10,000 to Daniel and he will train them up in basic skills to work in a construction site, such as welding or carpentry. Then they will be sent to Singapore and be, in business terms, rented out to companies who needed hands on temporary or long term basis. The initial lump sum, less some meagre training costs, will be then pocketed by the 2 of us. Nice business model eh? 1 man $5000, 10 men $50,000. Easy money. I don't even need to lift much of a finger and Daniel gets to fly back to his beloved country often. Win-win situation. However, I told Daniel, "No, I'm going to Australia to fark kangaroos."

So when Dodgymi asked me to partner him in labour leasing, I stopped for a moment to reflect. Do I look the slightest like a slavemaster? Or do I fit the bill as one because I am a cynical, grumpy old fart? Out of my usual curiosity, I asked for his business plan although I don't have the slightest interest to be a human milkmaid. Apparently, he found contacts through his farm harvesting job who are equipped to help foreigners who are unqualified through the "normal" path gain work visa (and apparently PR later) The candidates will come to Australia as students with student visas. These agents will arrangement for them to learn their courses "online". In the meantime, they will spend their time harvesting in farms as agreed in their "contracts". Someone like Dodgymi will be their supervisor and will be taking care of finding accommodation for them. He will get a cut off their salary for every hour they work. Say for example, if they are paid $21 an hour, $5 will go to the Dodgymi's "boss" and Dodgymi will then take a further cut of $2-3. The labourers will end up making $12-$15 an hour for their harvesting work, depending how much their agents are undercutting them. What was being promised was that, after their student visas have expired, they can apply working visas for them to carry on working. If that is true, this may really lead one to a permanent residency later on. The problem is, I estimate the whole process taking up to 4 years working in a farm for Dodgymi and his friends. Fair trade? I don't know. I guess it's a case of willing buyers, willing sellers.

I told Dodgymi that I have a seemingly endless stream of Singaporeans asking me how an unqualified person can obtain a PR in Australia. His eyes lit up and said, "Go get them for me!" I dismissed him lazily and told him to get his facts right. "Listen my friend, it's Singaporeans," I retorted. "Go and check it out with your contacts and come back to me." I have doubts this channel is available for Singaporeans if we cannot even secure a working-holiday program with Australia.

Unconvinced, Dodgymi called his contact and put her on speaker. The contact was a lady with a clear Aussie accent. When Dodgymi asked, "Singaporeans can?" The voice over the speaker shrilled, "No, no! Singaporeans cannot. They are rich. They cannot work! Please find Malaysians and Vietnamese for me."

I wasn't happy to hear that at all and felt like telling the bitch off. But I couldn't do it. Those were the hard truths. And they knew.

Barely a couple of weeks ago, she was alright. 5 days ago, her condition suddenly turned for the worse. I was supposed to send Wee Tuck and Missy Jo to the airport with Ugly Green. So my intention was to drive Goldilocks to Jen's work place and swap cars with her. I nearly did not make it there. Goldilocks was overheated and her engine stalled when I was in the proximity of Maddington.

On Saturday morning, I noticed that Goldilocks' radiator was dry. So I topped up a lot of coolant and went for a drive before Jen and Albany were up. Goldilocks' condition appeared stable. I was delighted. I made another few drives over the weekend to make sure everything was ok. In fact, Goldilocks took me to and fro work on Monday without any issue. I was relieved.

Things took a bad turn on Tuesday, however. To my horror, I saw her temperature rise sharply again. On some point of my drive, it dropped, as if her cooling system was working intermittently. I knew that time was near for Goldilocks. I tried topping up her radiator with coolant a few times. It didn't appear that there was a major leak somewhere because I only had to pour a few drops before it was full. Today, I drove Goldilocks to work in the cold Autumn morning. Yet, at some point, she appeared overheated again. I had to get real. Technically, Goldilocks might be dead but officially I have been keeping her alive by feeding her through a tube.

Today is a black day for me. Goldilocks have been my pillar of support since I came to Perth. Without her, I will cease to have an income, a purpose and an existence. My family will have starved without her and there will not be any blog for you to read either. Out of respect, I call her the founding mother of my Perth adventures. I have a feeling Goldilocks is not going to last that long. I don't know when I will eventually have to pull the plug and let her go in glory. I am depressed and I find it extremely difficult to imagine the day without Goldilocks. I wonder if the sun will still rise then.

Last night, I made a special eating routine. Anyone in the freestyle eating community will know naming an eating routine after a heroine is a mark of highest respect. So I ate 10 grapes, 12 cashew nuts, 24 spoons of rice, 10 helpings of steamed eggs, 35 scoops of vegetable soup, 4 chocolate nuggets, 2 glasses of water. Then I took 1 dump. I dedicate this routine to Goldilocks. It is called #Goldilocks98, as Goldilocks was manufactured in 1998. I will continue to pray for Goldilocks' recovery. 

Hi M.A,

I know why you are desperate. Elly cannot be resisted. However even in the event when blood rushes from the big to small head, we have to be clear about our goals. That's not a bro tip, just a friendly reminder. 

First, you have to establish what is going to happen, or rather, what do you really want to do. Hmm, in the day, I get my hands greasy dealing with steely stuff but by night I am Auntie Angie. I can't believe I'm doing this. Anyway, shit's gonna be done. Let's get this clear. If I read you right, you want to stay in Melbourne for 1-3 months. And then? If you are returning to Singapore after that, Elly was right to recommend a Visitor Pass. Why? It's really simple. Even if you are going to obtain a 457 work visa, by the time you dust the sand of your butt, it's about time to return to Singapore. Why would you want anything else other than a Visitor Pass?

I'm not sure what visa Elly had applied for. If it is a working-holiday visa, then she will be able to live and work in Australia for at least a year, extendable to another. If all you want is pussy, you do a Visitor Pass x 3 and return to Singapore when you are happy.  If you are interested in Australia as well, you may want to apply for a nice short course in TAFE, picking a course that you are interested in and preferably something that gets you qualified in a job that Australia has high demand for at the moment. 

Most Singaporeans should be eligible to apply for a TAFE course here. You don't need your Indian Standard 12 qualification. Heng ah!

By being a student here, it grants you 20 hours a week to work and should be (barely) sufficient to fund your living expenses. If Elly is a Permanent Resident, then just get hitched and apply for the spouse visa. 

“The amount of good luck coming your way depends on your willingness to act.”

- Barbara Sher

It has been 3.5 years. I often stop and wonder how the heck I ended up here. If I may be honest, I will shudder at the thought of doing it all over again. That's because I know it was luck that got me where I am. When my luck runs out one day, my adventure will likely fizzle and pop. Still, I am happy to be in the position to enjoy what has been an amazing run so far. If one day this has to stop, my only regret will be that it couldn't last longer.

Luck is an unexplainable thing. You see, unlike other desirable traits, it cannot be defined. Not everyone is born with a great body structure and needs little work to look perfect. However, anyone can improve their bodies by putting in hard work. There are people who are born smart but the rest of us can play catch up by acquiring knowledge. Most of us are not born with a silver spoon but we have heard of so many rags-to-riches stories that affirms the possibility of doing the same if we are determine ... and perhaps ... lucky enough. So, almost everything that a human desires can be obtain through steely hard work. But how do we improve our luck?

The unique property of luck, unlike the other desirable traits, is that we cannot see or measure it. We can define a great body, wealth or intelligence but not luck. Due to this reason, human beings like to attribute things we receive without hard work to luck. How else would you explain a solo Chinese New Year Toto winner? What has he done that differs from other punters who did exactly the same thing as he did, queuing up to buy a ticket? It has to be luck. This highly desirable yet mysterious element makes human beings crazy over defining it. Gamblers draft statistics of which outlet yields the most winners and interview winners, hoping to gain an insight and replicate the successful man who opened the portal to luck. Luck hunters are willing to do anything. Wear red underwear, pray fervently to idols, perform rituals, bath in holy water, hunt for mutated clovers, you name it, only to be disappointed time and again. The fun part is, luck remains random and that's what makes it such a unique desire.

Another part of the argument is that luck can be made. One of my good friends in Singapore used to tell me frequently that “有买有希望” What he meant was, you have to be in it to win it. There is some truth in it, since most of us can agree that luck is being at the right place, at the right right time. My friends who are Manchester United FC fans used to retort our "Lucky devils" taunts by claiming their team made their own luck by their relentless never-give-up attitude. Perhaps luck can be categorized. It can happen to an individual in complete randomness, or it can happen to one who has intent, or the bravery to pursue something way harder than the rest.


As the old saying goes, "Fortune favors the bold." A summation of the many untold stories how the Goddess Fortuna tends to smile over the brave and the willing risk takers. If you have a yearning for a migration adventure, will you wait for luck to shine upon you for make your own luck?

Dear Nix,

My name is J.L, and a mum to 3 kids. My family managed to obtain our visa 189 last year, with my husband as the main applicant. We had been sure of our plan to live in OZ since our uni days. Hence, after dragging on for so long, we finally proceeded with our long time plan.

Many ppl have questioned the reason(s) why we would want to migrate, given that my husband has a seemingly stable job, my kids are doing quite well in school, all our families are in SG, etc......... I have to admit that there was a stage in time when I nearly aborted my migration plan, as I felt SG seems to be a better place for my children to grow in, with good and cheap education (ie, pri and sec only), safe and afterall our very own roots are here. To be honest, myself and husband thought we would never have kids, and hence have been looking forward to living in a vintage brick house in the green lustrous pastures in rural area when we reach 40, overlooking the limitless clear blue sky. I believe you can imagine, as I have read previously from one of your posts, it's the same plan we have, lol. Being self sufficient with some farm animals, and our most beloved Chow Chows., all away from the crowds

However, as 1 kid came after another, our priorities have to change as like all parents, kids always come first. We know that our dream lifestyle in rural would have to be aborted for another 15 years or so? we have to be practical and re-plan where and how to live even when we make the move. We have carefully accessed our needs and finally decided that we will proceed to migrate, this is after seeing how stressful my eldest went through our infamous PSLE. I really do not wish to see my 2 younger ones having to go through the same route. It is really crazy for our SG kids to having to give up so many things, just to pass 1 exam. To me, life is not about exams. My son has done reasonably well for his PSLE, landed in a SAP school, but at the end of the day, what does it prove? He is smarter than other kids who didn't make it into express streams or what? Or, he is more hardworking? No, I don't think so!

I know there are many other things in life that children should be pursuing, other than a A or A* in PSLE, or A1 in O levels, etc. I must say that I felt touched when I read each time, while doing research on schools in WA, many school's website emphasized that each child is recognised individually. Know what, tears actually rolled in my eyes when I read Mum M's post about her experience. I can really understand how she must have felt seeing her child being able to truly immense in a main stream school, being truly accepted and finally truly enjoying school. Schools in SG are merely forced to accept SN kids, and the school environment mostly still have a long way to go in embracing the SN kids. Yes, and I couldn't agree more with another mummy's comment, that being good in Art or Music is equal to being good in Math or Science, afterall, not everyone must be a doctor or lawyer. Everyone should have aplenty choices in life, shouldn't we? And this is one main reason for our decision to migrate.

Oops, I have digressed. Anyway, we have decided on Perth, but one of the biggest problems for me, ironically or people may laugh at me for being silly is this - I DO NOT have a driving license. Yes, this is a problem to me. Why? I can't drive, and yes, I really can't drive! It's not about getting myself a license, going for the test etc. But rather, I have been advised by medical doctor and optometrists that I should not drive.

We have not been to Perth at all, so I am not sure how viable if I were to come with my 3 kids to settle down in Perth first, whilst my husband continues working in SG for a couple more years to accumulate more $$$ for us. I know, to live in a vast country like OZ, driving is almost an essential life skill. Even with my husband around, it's always good to have someone else in the household who can drive, let alone now that we are planning for me to just proceed with my 3 kids. Simple things like sending my kids to school or getting around to get groceries would be quite a challenge if we rely on public transport, especially with my 2 younger ones. Do you know if there are such things like private school bus arrangement in Perth, like what we have in SG, coming to fetch and drop off the kids to and fro school?

Thank you in advance for reading my email, and hopefully you can find some free time to respond, as I do understand you must have tons of emails from strangers like myself.

Cheers

Hallo,

This may be the hardest yet. Obviously, if one can be chin chye like me and grab a $2,000 car to drive around, one will have little to worry about logistically. For 3.5 years, I can count the number of times I took a public bus with 1 hand. In addition, I have yet to take a public train. I have to admit I don't know how to read the bus routes here and am absolutely clueless about reading train lines and fares. Without an in depth knowledge of the public transport network here, I am unable to give you a good insight about what you plan to do under such restriction. You did not share with me what is your medical condition so I am unsure how detrimental it is for you to learn how to drive. You have been advised, not warned, against driving. If it isn't that serious, I will advise you to learn how to drive. Nobody knows your condition better than yourself. Thus, the decision lies in your hands.

Although I don't have an immediate solution for your situation, I am still posting this up in hope to get help. As a matter of fact, I do have a friend who do not have a driving license and have no plans of getting it. She has been surviving without driving for 6 years here, albeit getting lifts from her spouse now and then. Her name is Public Transport Angel Joni. With the Perth public transport network integrated to her hexa core powered mind, if no one can design a viable route for your daily routine, nobody can.

It shouldn't be much of a challenge if you want to get by without driving with just a child. However, with 3 children, it can be quite a juggle. In order to do that, the most obvious arrangement is to live very close to a Primary school so that you can walk to school to fetch your younger kids. Important amenities such as the medical centre and shopping zones should be close enough to walk or cycle to. If you can cycle, you should have enough time to solve your grocery problems by cycling while your children are in school. It will be double the difficulty finding a place which is within walking distance to both a Primary and High school. The priority should always be the Primary school. Thus, you have to be comfortable with the fact that all your kids will have to learn how to take a public bus to and fro school when they enter High School. Else, you can move near the High School when the youngest of the 3 enter High School.

It shouldn't be that difficult to find a property close to a school. A quick search for "Perth schools" on Google Map yield a map littered with schools (the red dots). So it should be no problem looking for such a property within your budget. If possible, live near a trusted friend who can offer you a ride in an emergency, such as rushing to the hospital.

Unlike in Singapore, getting around by cabbing is NOT a long term option because the ludicrous fares will bring you down in no time. I have received crazy emails from Singaporeans who asked me if it is possible to bring their maids along. Hmmm.. maids with driving licenses on tourist visas returning once every 3 months... interesting. The simplest solution is still learning how to drive. It's definitely not the only way to live a life here but it's one of the most cost and time efficient way.


Note: If you are into cycling longer distance for commute, take a few minutes to read through this [link]

To the family of Singaporean Mum, D,

Take it easy ok. It is not going to be that bad. Though I can't guarantee whether the plane will land or disappear, once she makes it to Perth soil, things should be within our control. We will keep our eyes on her. Since Singaporean Mum chose not to bunk with my family, Agent M will be taking care of her for this project. Agent M is one of the most meticulous person I can trust. So you can be assured that Singaporean mum, D will be alright. In fact, I am worried for Agent M's safety instead. Let's hope this ends well.

Your mission datasheet, simplified:

Mission: Set up camp

Take allowed: 8 days

Deliverables: Enroll child 1 to school, secure a rental unit as a temporary base, obtain necessary documents, procure a vehicle

Day 0:

Download WA maps on GPS app in mobile phone. Check. That was done and confirmed with Agent N (me)

Once you arrive at hideout, receive mobile sim card from Agent M and switch cards immediately. Keep existing card away carefully. Switch on phone and test out GPS. Electronic compass unlocked.

Go to sleep early (8pm) the Perth Way.

Day 1:

Agent M will take you to location X to collect car. Transportation unlocked. With increased mobility, proceed to complete the following tasks;

- make yourself to location E, marked The Shops at Ellenbrook. Choose whichever fancy name you prefer and set up a bank account with them. Deposit some money to make your account look pleasing.

- proceed to 15 Keane Street, Midland then look for a premise marked "Centrelink" and enter building. This location is an integrated centre to set up both your Medicare account AND your Centrelink account. [link] Make sure you set up both accounts. Use Agent M's hideout as your residential address temporarily. You should receive the documents before your mission ends.

- have lunch. then drive along our famous Swan Valley and inhale substance G, codename "life" and return to hideout.

Edit: Agent M has volunteered to take over and assist Singaporean mum D and requested for a checklist instead. I realised I have written one long ago, still available online [link]. Please read. You can leave her car procurement to me but please assist on her rental house hunt. Good luck.

Singaporean mum, M sent me a link about how the Australian education system is failing our kids. And so it begins ..... again. 

The education system is failing our kids. Really? That's a nice change from our kids failing the education system. Too often, I found other Singaporean parents mocking or even sneering at the Australian education system, citing how "low standard" it is as compared to Singapore's education system, that is "streets ahead." It takes a lot of humor to laugh at a country that produced 15 Nobel Prize Winners and 138 Olympic Gold Medals when all Singapore has to show is a big fat zero. If our education system produces capable people, why are the majority of our business headed by a foreigner? And I thought Singaporean parents are result oriented.

From a Singaporean parent's perspective, how do we view a Time Trial prior to a Formula One race? The fight for pole position, just like how our kids fight to be the Top Student of their cohort in examination halls. My friend Patrick has his own point of view. He told me to observe how top Formula One drivers conduct their time trial. Often, drivers can clock awful timings. We can put that down as the familiarization process of the race track. We are not wrong but there is something else to it. The time trial is a golden opportunity for a driver to test limits. For example, how fast they can go before they'll kiss the barriers or how sharp their cars can turn at a particular bend. More often than not, they stuff up and clock uninspirational timings in their laps and they don't appear to care because their priority is learn everything they can about the terrain and how they can assert themselves according to their strengths when the real race starts.

Patrick's perspectives changed my perspective of education. A pole position is undeniably an advantage but it is hardly a deciding factor of the winner in a Formula One race. To perform well, you need a good team, a good car, good skills and most importantly, a full understanding of the track you are racing in. Like the example above, the real race is out in the wild world after our graduation from schools. Even if you are given a good car, how will you perform if you have whiny parents as your team and full of theories in your head that have no clue how to implement? Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to imply it is possible for a last placed driver in a time trial to win the race. Our aptitude and development varies individually over time. The point is that even a last placed driver can finish a race ten placings better than his time trial. 

In my opinion, the purpose of education is to learn to learn. This does not resonate with a system that feeds the brilliant and buries the weak. In contrast, the Australian system allows children to learn at their own pace centered around discovery rather than grinding. It may be true that a primary school pupil in Australia is a few years behind Singapore in solving mathematics or science questions. However, students here grow up to be more holistically developed, diverse, confident and knowledgeable to take on the demands of the working world.

So that's how it works? Two Immigration Ministers sign an agreement and there we go. What the fuck, then, is Teo Chee Hean doing? Perhaps he should sacrifice one of his golf games and call up Peter Dutton to have a chat. Today, Vietnam joins their SEA neighbours Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia in an exchange program with Australia. Even Bangladesh is in but not Singapore. Why?

I don't think we need to list out the mutual benefits of an exchange program and Singapore believes in exchange programs for certainty. For a start, I may be able to spot Elly Tran Ha getting her fruits picked in a farm along Swan Valley one day. In fact, Singapore loves and believe in exchange programs. The Ministry of Defence and Minister Ng Eng Hen had no qualms forking out $25,900 for hiring an English teacher for some military officers from the PRC during an exchange program, no? Why then, are we so uptight in allowing a few students out to pick fruits in Swan Valley and a few of theirs to shake dices at Marina Bay Sands? 

Many suggested that such a move has been sanctioned due to the Government's concerns of a deficit brain flow. If that is true, it reflects how petty and narrow minded our Government is. If anything, such a move cannot be more contradicting to the consistent claims of our Government about how clean and safe we are, how incorruptible we are and how we among the top countries that everyone else in the world desire to live and work in. If these claims are true, I challenge our Home Affairs to allow more young Singaporeans to travel out to see how inferior a country like Austalia is by securing an work exchange program such as what Vietnam has just done. Then we can welcome returning Singaporeans who have seen the truth and will stay and contribute to Singapore, confident that they are serving the best land in the world.

I heard there are lots of crocodiles in Australia. Unfortunately, I do not have the special skill set of Steve Irwin to mess around with them. Else, I will be able to harvest enough tear from crocodiles to export  bucket loads to Singapore for a very high price to meet the demand for the product, which has reached an all time high ever since our great leader announced to the world that our greater leader isn't doing too well in the hospital.

I lost count how many Singaporeans claiming they will pray hard for Mr Lee, probably just a little bit less hard than the prayer to win the top prize in Toto. At least till he can take part in the SG50 jubilee party, they said. If anyone deserve to enjoy or witness the celebrations of our 50th year of independence, it's Mr Lee Kuan Yew, they said. No wonder Halimah Yaacob pleaded with Singaporeans not to leave the country during SG50. That probably include the netherworld. Insider news, ha! Little did she know there are a sizable horde of Singaporeans wishing for an extra public holiday on the 11th or better yet, a permanent public holiday strategically placed on the 8th or 10th. I reckon 8th is a better date than 10th, so that Singaporeans can mourn before we celebrate National Day every year. We can call it Thanksgiving to make it sound chic.

Believe it or not, I've heard this since I was a teenager. I personally found it distasteful. To wish for the death of somebody for a cheap public holiday? Most of the time it was brushed away as a joke until recently. I will not be surprised to see a wish turning into a request or even a demand. Many decades of mock yearning can turn into a real desire, you know.

It will be interesting to know the exact words used in the prayers of the fervent prayers of recovery. O God, please rid him of illness? And? Live a ripe long life? He already lived it. Besides, how well can a man recover after weeks of coma at an age of 91? If he lives on, it'll be on much harder terms for sure. One couldn't keep wondering if the folks who have been "keeping him in their prayers" secretly hope to witness his prolong suffering. If not, what else? In hope for Mr Lee Kuan Yew to continue contributing his services to Singapore?  

Alright, it doesn't seem socially acceptable to wish your colleague a quick clean death. Diplomatic and logic doesn't go well in the same sentence. Perhaps "shut up" is a wiser move than shedding crocodile tears. Or if you have to pray, let me tell you a simple hard truth. The only meaningful prayer to Lee Kuan Yew now is for him to get his death wish - which is never to be put on a life support. For a man who is powerful enough to get almost whatever he wishes for, this cannot be more ironic. Get real. Let the man go already.

It has been 3.5 years. I often stop and wonder how the heck I ended up here. If I may be honest, I will shudder at the thought of doing it all over again. That's because I know it was luck that got me where I am. When my luck runs out one day, my adventure will likely fizzle and pop. Still, I am happy to be in the position to enjoy what has been an amazing run so far. If one day this has to stop, my only regret will be that it couldn't last longer.

Luck is an unexplainable thing. You see, unlike other desirable traits, it cannot be defined. Not everyone is born with a great body structure and needs little work to look perfect. However, anyone can improve their bodies by putting in hard work. There are people who are born smart but the rest of us can play catch up by acquiring knowledge. Most of us are not born with a silver spoon but we have heard of so many rags-to-riches stories that affirms the possibility of doing the same if we are determine ... and perhaps ... lucky enough. So, almost everything that a human desires can be obtain through steely hard work. But how do we improve our luck?

The unique property of luck, unlike the other desirable traits, is that we cannot see or measure it. We can define a great body, wealth or intelligence but not luck. Due to this reason, human beings like to attribute things we receive without hard work to luck. How else would you explain a solo Chinese New Year Toto winner? What has he done that differs from other punters who did exactly the same thing as he did, queuing up to buy a ticket? It has to be luck. This highly desirable yet mysterious element makes human beings crazy over defining it. Gamblers draft statistics of which outlet yields the most winners and interview winners, hoping to gain an insight and replicate the successful man who opened the portal to luck. Luck hunters are willing to do anything. Wear red underwear, pray fervently to idols, perform rituals, bath in holy water, hunt for mutated clovers, you name it, only to be disappointed time and again. The fun part is, luck remains random and that's what makes it such a unique desire.

Another part of the argument is that luck can be made. One of my good friends in Singapore used to tell me frequently that “有买有希望” What he meant was, you have to be in it to win it. There is some truth in it, since most of us can agree that luck is being at the right place, at the right right time. My friends who are Manchester United FC fans used to retort our "Lucky devils" taunts by claiming their team made their own luck by their relentless never-give-up attitude. Thus, perhaps luck can be categorized. It can happen to an individual in complete randomness, or it can happen to one who has intent, or the bravery to pursue something way harder than the rest.

14 March 2015

These 2 photos were taken on 2 different days at the same time. Pretty much tells the whole story. The intense heat in the air was suddenly gone, as if somebody removed some humongous convectional heating elements. Gone were the flies too. Damn them to hell. What is left is cool, clean Autumn. Why must this happen only once a year?

Big events that blew my mind happened for the past Autumns. Settling down, insane work regimes or being told I had cancer, Autumn always seem like a come-and-go in my memories. As beautiful as the Autumns may be, I hardly remember a slow and enjoyable one. This year, a sudden need to return to Singapore and a potential further 2 weeks of being apart from my family after my return will undoubtedly tarnish a blissful Autumn that I had been craving for a long year. One of the biggest project will later consume our energies and possibly see the end of Autumn by the time we see it off. Perhaps that is what Autumn is all about. Notable transitions. Major transformations.

First off, I apologise to the person for quoting a private conversation between us. Unfortunately that lingered in my mind for a while and I knew I had to get it off me. The disturbing part was that the children were only 7 years old or so. That is the age where children are supposed to be conquering their fear of the dark, public speaking or tiny insects. These would be the last thing on the little girl's mind that afternoon. What froze her dead in her tracks was facing the wrath of her parents. That was dissuasive enough for her to stay out from home. A heart-breaking scenario.

Without academic success, the future of the child is doomed. Sweeping of the streets await. In Singapore, paper qualifications are the foremost priority. We have no choice. The competition is very intense. Without academic excellence, the road ahead of the child will be extremely challenging. Suffer now, enjoy later. Screw up now, a lifetime of agony beckons. It's for their own good. We did it all for them. We sacrificed everything for them. They must not fail....  I know. 

I know. 

I heard it all. I saw how reality validated these claims. The arguments are so convincing that it corrupts the compelling love of parents and manifest it into a boundless fear of their children's failures. Helplessness eventually turns into frustrations. No, they are not going to face it alone. Their children will face the fear with them! The children are the answer to keep the fear in check because they are the immediate factor of their failure or success. Not realising that the source of their trouble is the fear that they created and failed to keep in under control, their children became the pawn of their sanity. 

I wondered for a long while if that sort of situation only occurred in certain schools in Singapore. Or are most young children facing that kind of stress in Singapore now? The rationale of pushing our kids to their limits being, we have to do our part, regardless how painful it is, for their own good. I recognise the climate of fear comes of a positive source. Not only Singaporean parents love our children very much, we are responsible parents as well. Many of our drastic actions are last resorts of desperation. We don't know what else we can do anymore... but we can't just do nothing about it... We can't stand around to watch their demise. 

Let's force them to their demise instead.

Some of us have it easier. Like the girl Y², in Sydney, who clinched a permanent job even before moving to Australia. By working a few years under the work visa that her employer applied for her, she became eligible to apply for a Permanent Resident visa eventually. How can I forget Ninja Nurse, the gutsy Singaporean nurse who came to Perth and found her nursing job in 3 days, return to Singapore and move her family across. The others had it slightly harder. We came to Australia and started to look for the jobs. Such as Patrick, Thusara or myself etc. Some of us took a longer time than the others. I considered myself lucky, very lucky, because I found a casual job working my ass off in a metal factory within the first month. Later, I found a permanent job elsewhere. Some of the not-so-lucky ones had to spend more times to find their casual jobs and sometimes stay much longer before they eventually get a good permanent job. Then, I heard of one guy who didn't find even a casual job for an entire year (and remains the record holder for now).

When it comes to job hunting, there is really no guarantee. But that's why everyone's migration journey is interesting, exciting and unique. If the regular visitors to this website came back because they felt my personal stories were interesting, I have to say there are thousands of Singaporeans out there with much more fascinating stories than my own. If only more are willing to share their stories with me.


No one knows how difficult it is for a Singaporean to settle down in another country. What our government said of us wasn't entirely untrue. We are a mollycoddled lot. However, I have to say that every single Singaporean migrant who eventually settled down can hold his or her head high. For we have gone through a few sizable trials of our own. There are no SOP, guidebooks or ten years series. There are no save points or a system restore. There are no 1 ups to accumulate along the way. It's a full blooded hardcore game. Oddly enough, none of the Singaporeans I've met regretted making such as move. 

12 March 2015

Hi Nix,

I am taking this opportunity to use your blog space to share my experiences moving to Australia from Singapore. I hope that I can use some of your kilobytes of space. And btw, please call me AK.

Moving to another country for anyone is never any easy feat nor a task that they want to burden themselves with by sacrificing their family, relatives and good friends.

But one has to sacrifice for the sake of his own family if he thinks that may benefit them without knowing what the circumstances will be.

But why the sacrifice in the first place? What are the factors that wire the thoughts?