A Singaporean In Australia

Jovial J texted me last night and demanded for his moniker to be changed to KL J, which he said it stood for Kuai Lan J. "It is guai lan, not kuai lan ok?" I corrected him. He refused to budge and insisted to stick to KL, which showed how GL he was. Fine. If he wants to sound like some model of autonomous automaton, I shall refer him to KL-J in the future.

KL-J asked me about the rural property that he set his eyes on. A few days ago, he called me a "shopaholic." Well, little did he know I have never been one. I am so pissed poor I cannot even afford to window-shop, let alone shop. Petrol very expensive at $1.11/L lah! Besides, if I have the funds, I will make an offer for that property first. Fortunately for KL-J, I can ill-afford such an item on my portfolio. You heard that right, even a pissed poor peasant has a portfolio, mai siao siao. If only I have a couple of million idling around, I will add this property to my the 2 sun-dried huntsman spider, an old bottle of honey-wine from Angie as rental and my guitar tuning fork of unlimited turn undead.

Anyway, KL-J made history by motivating me to do things I would not want to do, such as calling a real estate agent. This is the kind of thing I have been leaving to the missus. Basically, I don't want to talk to human beings as much as I can. That's is the beauty of Perth. Here, we can keep that kind of shitty stuff to the minimum. Not only had I contacted the real estate agent twice, I also trespass into a private property to talk to the owners. Bad boy. 

The first time was on a Saturday. I stayed there to talk to the enthusiastic son of the owners for over an hour. He told me how the land had been used for the past 30 years they were living there and other nitty gritty things you wouldn't be interested about. The second time, I had to invade their privacy once again but popping up at the kitchen window, waving two hands like an idiot to show I meant no harm. The elderly lady, one of the co-owners, received me at the back gate to hear my business. I relayed KL-J's message to her and asked her if she was interested in the offer. She said, "Sure, send an offer through the real estate agent." Before I left, she said, "Good luck, I hope you get what you want."  Well, the decision lies in your hand, lady!

The real estate agent informed me that KL-J was unable to put through an offer until the existing ones were rejected. KL-J said, "Where got such thing?" Yes, that is how it works here. So the only thing left to do was to wait.

Last night, the agent called me and inform me I would know more about the status on Wednesday. Let's see how this turns out.