A Singaporean In Australia

You know what is bad about living in Perth?

The last Singaporean visitor I know said that Perth was a tad "boring" for her. Well, am I surprised? Not at all. Perth is actually dangerously boring to Singaporeans. There is a rumor floating somewhere that once in a while, a Singaporean visitor or new migrant  splashes cash to get a pistol in the black market to put a bullet through their head due to a bad case of boredomistis, a life-threatening disease that tend to affect vibrant Singaporeans.

To counteract such things happening to us living Singaporeans, we BBQ during our free time. That brings forth another bad thing about living in Perth. Everyone has a backyard. Some have it much bigger than the others but even the smallest backyard can hold a BBQ event easily. So insecure Singaporeans have been rumored to throw hot coals at one another during their "mine is bigger than yours" debates. That was the reason why Australians make their BBQ pits gas operated, often on a hot plate.

When Pat and Jo invited us over for a BBQ, they had a Plan B.

By picking the hottest day in Autumn to do it, it created the conditions for a fly swatting event that kept participants busy. Everyone had a go at it, except Patrick of course, who isn't into interesting events like fruit picking and fly killing. We used traditional fly swatters instead of the electrical one that the Duke of the Brook normally used to achieve his legendary feat of getting his kills to fall in line like a platoon in the SAF, as a warning to future fly trespasser. We decided to have nothing of those electrical ones that day because it was too mainstream. I call traditional fly swatters the "unplugged" versions to sound more hippy. They worked brilliantly. Even the self-acclaim fly noob Judy managed to kill one. Jo and I made flies drop like .... flies and provided grateful ants free meals as we lunched our BBQ food heartily.

Great food, great company, great activities. What more do we ask for?

Everyone miss a good ol' Singapore style charcoal BBQ but Singaporeans back there wasn't too impressed. One of them responded to my pic and remarked, "Har? You all do BBQ in the afternoon one ah?" Of course we do. In fact, night BBQs are rarity here. I know it is so boring to do BBQ in daylight but in Perth, we do what the Perthians do. So while interesting Singaporeans struggle to see if their chicken drumlets are fully cooked, our plates are already washed and tea is brewing on the table. 

That is why Perth is so dangerously boring. Please heed my advice and avoid the precarious zone until further notice.