50 Months of Perth

Here, the land behind this view
is where the river may never flow
 but the wind will never cease
and the stars will faithfully glow

The past two months had me intrigued. During that period I noticed a significant change in my mindset. For the first time in my life, Singapore slipped out of my mind immaculately. I was told it happens to people who left. It happens earlier for some, later for some and for the rest of us, never. I thought I belonged to the last group. All along, I have found it impossible not to resonate with Singaporeans. I felt their indignant societal injustice, I felt their anger when a foreigner mocked our identity. Gradually, I felt myself alienated from the culture I grew up with. It was up to a point where I found myself unable to identify with the mentality of a Singaporean anymore. To quote an ex-Singaporean's sentiments about his birth country, "I don't give a shit anymore."

Though I may not share his sentiments (at least not to that level yet) my apathy towards Singapore is growing. I find myself disinterested in Singapore news and current affairs. I only care deeply for my family and friends there but nothing much else. Since I left, I have never been homesick. If familysick is a term, it will be a more fitting one. Not once had I miss the food, landscape or the buzz of the city state I grew up with, only the people missing in my life in this faraway place. I wish some of them are here with me but it will never going to be. There have been great moments I felt incomplete without certain friends or family members sharing it. That is the curse of a want-away migrant. A perpetual wish-you-were-here regret that will never go away. The price we have to pay.

As for the average Singaporean just like myself who may be disgruntled, flustered or bored with the challenges of Singapore life, you can take a cue from a remark I have been given. A "quitter" like me should be grateful to the motherland. For if I were to be born somewhere else, such as in Somalia, I would be floating somewhere in the Indian Ocean as a pirate today, instead of sipping ginger beer in Perth. I am thankful. According to those wise men, you are given immense advantages in life as a Singaporean and can be anything you want to. So you should.

Month 1
Month 2
Month 3
Milestone: Breaking Even
Month 4
Month 5
Month 6
Month 7
Milestone: Renting a House
Milestone: Landing a Permanent Job
Month 8
Month 9
Month 10
Month 11
End of Year 1
Month 13
Month 14
Month 15
End of Year 2
Month 27
Month 33
Month 35
Month 40
Month 41
Month 42
Month 45
Month 46
End of Year 4

1 comment:

  1. 心只存感恩。感恩因为来自新加坡, 吃过苦, 所以懂得珍惜这里所给的福。