Faces of Crooks and Cronies

Want to persuade Ah Ma to move to JB also no need to bring so many people along right?

There is a little known fact that I had been a "Com.Srv Director" during my school days. I have been so shy about that even my wife does not know this secret. When Ah Liam told me about it, I asked him, "Simi lai eh?" I just wanted a non-committal ECA (CCA) to hide myself in, so that the school authorities would leave me alone. Ah Liam promised me joining the Interact Club was the best lobang. So I did. He wasn't wrong. There was no uniform, no marching. No playing chess with nerds (Nerds didn't react well beaten by my ilks) Not bad.

Later on I realised I was arrowed to be in charged of all community service activities of the club. Oddly enough, it was probably the best thing I would rather do as compared to other roles. From painting old folks' home to playing clowns at orphanages, we did that for that few years. I would never recall a scene in an old folk's home though, where 4 or 5 of us would parade round an Ah Ma, bend awkwardly to her eye level, smile sweetly like as if she was the hottest babe in school and present her items that looked like 2 piles of shit. Trust me, those wouldn't be too useful to Ah Ma, unless those were ear muffs, for her immediate use to filter out any crap that she would need to listen to until all the wayang ended. Neither had we gotten photographers at every direction, ready to snap the best photograph for the club's magazine. Most, if not all of us would point our middle fingers at photographers who tried taking a candid shot so that they couldn't use the pic in our unglamorous poses. Most importantly, when it came to community service, the last thing we (or at least I) wanted was recognition. If you expect recognition, you don't understand what community service is all about. The bunch of men above probably thought public service equals to community service; and that it was a good idea to pay a visit to a home to pose for pictures that made them look really good for the coming GE.

It really didn't, for those with a pair of working eyes at least. The picture looks more like nominees of the Mediacrop Best Actor Award with 5 lead actors starring in the same blockbuster. 

My comments and ratings:

Amrin Amin: *** (3 stars)
Comments: Surprisingly good performance by a new comer but still raw. We look forward to his future projects.

Vikram "Saving children lives equals to National Service" Nair: * (1 star)
Comments: Not too good. Tired smile. Didn't bother to bend his back. 

"Send you parents to JB" Khaw: **** (4 stars)
Comments: Well rehearsed smile which almost doesn't look nauseating. Artfully holding shit looking thing at camera's angle instead of Ah Ma's line of sight. Had to hold in there in a thigh splitting angle at 35 degrees for 30 minutes for the shot. Veteran.

"Dignity" Lim Wee Kiak: ** (2 stars)
Comments: Weak posture, requiring support of arms to maintain posture. Eye contact weak. Unconvincing display.

"Backdoor" Ong: **** (5 stars)
Comments: Ong Ye Kung must be the first ever candidate who failed to get through via a GRC backdoor. That must have given him a lot of motivation to do well. Half knelt and holding Ah Ma's hand, gazing dreamily into her eyes. If you need Backdoor Ong to propose to Ah Ma and give her a kiss, he would do it. World class acting.

Winner: "Backdoor" Ong will clinch the Best Actor Award, and later getting into Parliament with his team as well, through the backdoor of course.


  1. I tot interact club member can Kena arrow sell stickers in orchard road (why there I never understand) on Saturday?

    Uncle here very thin skin and weak legs so cannot stand all day and asking for donation from the crowd.

  2. Btw can someone tell me the bookies prediction on the GE SG50 date? It is like an unofficial erection time from 10 August and uncle here cannot stand all these cock tease unveiling of new virgin blood across the asia1 propaganda website

  3. Close but no cigar

    It's sept 11

  4. Must wayang a bit at this crucial moment else how to get a very highly paid part time job.