Today is St Valentine's Day so let's start the first reason with something nice.
My child is my personalised gift to my wife
I'm old but not that old. Many of my peers are still going through that lovey-dovey stage of their relationships. Some of them are trying to have kids, some intend to do so in the near future and some of plan not to have kids.
I'll like to address the last group. If you love your spouse, have a child.
I could die prematurely at work, or through an illness. So could my spouse. So could anyone else or their spouse. A child is the best gift you can leave behind for a loved one. Not those photographs in facebook, not videos, not your expensively renovated love-nest. Not that stained smelly underwear.
Only your child could provide the comfort for the loss of a partner the way no material can.
What if I die too early?
The problem is money. If I die too early, my child will be a financial burden to my spouse. That is the reason why I refuse to indulge in luxury. I refuse to call that air-conditioner a need because it truly isn't. Neither is that car, iphone nor that hotel banquet, home renovation, posh furniture, luxury electronic goods and yearly overseas vacation.
The longer I live, the more confident I am leaving behind enough funds to ensure my child to continue to be a precious legacy gift to my spouse. Contrary to what is commonly believed, I feel that many young couples these days can afford at least 2 children if they are willing to sacrifice just a fraction of what their parents did for them. The next time you dine in that restaurant or attempt to make an order for that cup of KOI bubble tea, think over what you just read. Before that, stop for a minute to think about your parents' struggles. You know their stories best.
A Single Mum's grit
I could never understand why my elder sister refused to give up the custody of her child. She has been struggling in all fronts to keep things going in the face of the ex-husband's harassments. At one stage, she seemed like she had fallen into depression but she managed to pull it through.
The amazing strength that my niece gave her is phenomenal.
Before this, I ruled out the possibility of having my own child but my sister's ordeal was an inspiration.
Grateful to be alive
I could have been dead even before I was born - a victim of the
"Two is enough" campaign of Singapore. Obviously money was an issue back in those days just as in the present. My mum seriously considered aborting me to save some money from being fined upon my birth.
Yet these days, people talk about not just the affordability of raising a child, they talk about the returns of investment in having a child. Oh, but by not giving the best, you are bringing the child into the world to suffer. And you need money to give the best to a child don't you?
Money aside, sometime back two fellows were generous enough to give you life and not expecting anything in return. These folks gave you the best they could, not the best (how do you define that anyway?) If you are grateful enough, let someone else have the chance to be as grateful as you, one day in the future.
A child disciplines her father
I read an article somewhere about a research is done on tons of successful people and they found 'the common secret' behind these people - discipline. Not surprisingly, that stuck out like a sore thumb in my life. I have to admit discipline is one attribute I sorrowfully lack all my life.
That's not to say I'm going to be a real successful person from now on. How do we define success anyway? Not important for now. We can agree a bit of discipline doesn't hurt. It should make me a better man.
Discipline is hard to instill in anyone at any stage of life and especially so at my age. A child as close to that magic potion as it could get. You can change your mind, sack a boss, dump that goldfish but you can't quit a child.
Living life again
Have you been stuck in a puzzle or an RPG game at the same stage for weeks and found that when the breakthrough comes, it opens a huge gateway of possibilities and new places to explore? Just when you felt life is monotonous and you have seen it all, a first newborn truly humbles you.
You learn new things at breakneck speed. You forge (or could unfortunately, break) a teamwork with your spouse like never before. Everyday you watch how the baby struggles to control her physical components and learning worldly skills. Their eagerness to improve is contagious. You face work, and the world in another perspective.
Liberation
By then you realise you are no longer energetic as before. Your body creaks and starts giving you problems in some way or another. You'll be happy to pass on the soul to a new generation while you erode slowly in that miserable shell. You care lesser about your appearance, well being and petty yearnings - experiencing some sort of strange sense of freedom although in reality you are constricted with more responsibilities.
No regrets
You can only experience it. Imagination and words do not work.
When your infant wail and coo upon your hug
When you feel her helplessness and regard you as her everything
When she gives that unintentional smile
When she gives you that blank stare with her mouth forming an 'O'
When she defecates while you change her nappy just so coincidentally each time
When she finally sleeps peacefully
There are many more to come, many parents will be eager to share.
Only when you experience these little things, will you realise true satisfaction does not come from work achievements or the accumulation of money.
If you miss this part of life out, you are missing a big part of life. If living life is about fulfillment, isn't this the greatest return of investment you can do with money?