Dark Autumn

It was a bad day, fortunately with a good ending. I couldn't put my finger to it. Nothing went particularly wrong but I didn't feel right at all the entire day. In fact, I felt dreadful the moment I woke till I stepped back into the house. My mind was away most of the day. I didn't even feel amused Manchester City won the English Premier League in a dramatic fashion, even though I took a few seconds to imagine the expression of my ex-colleague and Manchester City lifelong fan Patrick's face today at work.

Today, I was supposed to drive down to Rockingham, about 43km away from home. The weather reflected my mood or maybe, it affected my mood. The long drive both ways were gloomy and cloudy, though it didn't quite rain at all. Despite my first drive to Rockingham myself, taking an entire new road, I took it on zombie-like without GPS or referring to the map. Neither did I panic at crossings like I usually did at navigating through new places. Surprisingly I reached my destination on time without getting making a few wrong turns like I always did.

I was driving in the opposite direction of the morning traffic. It felt almost like those walking-dead movies where I was the only car going one direction while the rest of the world was driving on the opposite road away from where I was going to. Despite having adequate interrupted sleep, the back of my neck was sore, badly enough to cause a headache.. I have been suffering from chronic neck and shoulder pains for years. There were good and bad days, today was one of the bad ones.

I entered the wrong classroom for my forklift course, which my company sent me to complete. That wasn't something I always did and it was awkward to stand up and leave the class to search for the right one. These kind of short courses were not new to me. I had attended 3-4 of such things during my years in the construction industry in Singapore. I knew Australia being Australia would be an entirely different experience though and I was right. I cleared the theory portion of the course without too much problem though I have to admit it surprised me a bit. I might write something in detail about the course experience in future.

I had always been average. At times above, at times below but rarely the best or worst. Today I was the worst student in class and again, it felt awkward. I was struggling through the entire practical session. It woke me up slightly from my zombie-state but I didn't start performing like I normally would after the heart started pumping a little harder. With a little slice of fortune, I managed to do enough for the assessor to give me a pass. I really didn't relish facing my new employer with a red mark back at work the next day. Well to be honest, nobody fails such things but I did bad enough to have doubts. The lucky break didn't lift my spirits a single bit. I thanked the lecturer and told the guys 'ta' and drove home.

After a hot bath, I decided to put it all down and not pursue an impossible cause. The pain on the shoulders are heavy enough to bear. I'm tired.


  1. I'm not surprised you are tired, new course, new job, new home, new baby, new country! Would wear anybody out .

  2. You've been on the adrenalin rush for far too long, and your body is on a boycott. Listen to it and have a good rest to recharge. Take care!