What You Need to Know About Evil Summer in Perth

It was 19 degree Celsius at 0900hrs, rising by 3 by 1100hrs. It even rained briefly earlier on. One of the mates told me it was unusual to have this weather in Summer. For someone who spent just a year in Perth, there was no reliable data to confirm this. I chose to agree with a local if he said so. Indeed, when I looked back my records in this blog, I was already wincing at the searing heat at this point of time last year.

Summer heat - the damn bloody bad kind - will come upon us eventually. For someone who isn't a big fan of Summer, I had said this before and I'll say it again. Every single cool day in Summer is a bonus. Every such day brings us closer to the end of Summer. May these days be aplenty.

One thing we have too much of in Summer is the minions. I've already taught everyone how to kill them properly with bare hands [link] should anyone need to do so being surrounded and attacked by these dark spawns of Summer without proper equipment to eliminate them. Amazingly, Steph actually mastered the skill after reading my powerful manual and posted positive results. It was great to have another warrior joining the resistance alliance against our common dark foes.

I've been accused for painting a rainbow colour picture of migration and Perth. My response was my accusers' selective reading. If I have to emphasize again about something negative about Perth life, I'll do it again so there is no excuse for anyone to miss this out. Summer is crap. Minions are crap. I'll let you decide which is worse in your own opinion.

There is a need to point out the differences between Minions of Perth Summer and houseflies of Singapore. Houseflies of Singapore do not attack humans. They may harass one once in a while but spend most of their time looking for food in places where most Singaporeans don't venture into. So that isn't a real issue in Singapore. That's why you'll be bothered by this in Perth. Because Minions of Summer are not the same thing. 

I had explained to people before but they gave me strange looks. Either they do not believe me or do not believe I actually know a thing about this kind of thing. Whatever. To continue, Minions are bush flies, not houseflies. That's the key difference that explains a many difference in behavior between the two. Houseflies do not like to fly out of the house, that's how they get their names. Minions behave the opposite. Once they get into the house by mistake, they will try to get out instead of focusing on attacking humans. However once you meet them in the open, you'll get hell of a time. They are persistent bastards and can AND WILL follow you for hundred of metres if they need to.

What Minions want to extract out of humans is their protein. There is protein content in your perspiration, tears in the eyes, saliva on your lips. In short, everywhere exposed on your body is a protein mine worth attacking in the Minions' point of view. They need protein to breed and the female ones will be the most aggressive and persistent ones.

The temperature where Minions are most active is between 12.5 to 35 degrees Celsius. At 27.5, they will be at the peak of their form. Above 35, they will be noticeably less active. That is when their master Summer will take over to punish naughty human beings for being where he is. Some of his own Minions will probably perish when Summer is at his peak rage over 40 degree Celsius. 

That's all I have to say about the thing I hate most about Perth. Thank you for reading.


  1. the way i see it... sg is cool for 3 months in a year. perth is hot 3 months in a year.

  2. the average "coolest" temperature (around 4 am?) is only as low as 24.0, 23.9 in SG, while the warmest average min temp in Perth is only 18.2, on the other hand, the warmest average max temp in Perth is only 31.1,31.5 while the "coolest" max temp in SG is 30.2,30.3
    So, the coolest 3 months in SG is actually warmer than Perth, while the hottest 3 months in Perth is really cooler than SG (on average)?

  3. Haha.. I am back to reading your blog after a few months break. Your entries never fail to amuse me.

    chubby cheeks

  4. One word: Citronella!

    This will keep the annoying buggers away. I experienced so many flies on my recent trip to WA.... get the citronella spray and they will keep away :)