A Singaporean In Australia

I've stopped updating about personal topics for a while. I used to do that so often because I felt a memory bank is necessary for me to reminisce old times when my mind starts failing me when I am old. Looking at my dad's condition, genetically, I think I have a realistic chance to lose the agility of the mind in my later years. If I get a pre-mature death along the way, my loved ones would be able to read my thoughts if they wish to be reminded there was once such a person in their life. That is why I write.

Having said that, it may be necessary to do this in a separate private blog. I write to remember, not to be judged. For things the way it is, not for the right or wrong. I had people telling me who they think I am just because they read a few words in this blog. Please, not even my wife understands me completely. For the record, I don't even know myself entirely. I simply can't decide to laugh or cry when I read those. But - at least these commenters do it in my face and I can accept that and that's why the commenting options of the blog is still enabled to the public, to the anonymous and the nutcases. What I truly despise are words around the back. I am sure everyone feels the same way.

Before arrangements to export these personal memories very close to my heart elsewhere, I decide to resume my updates. I've missed too many precious moments by hesitating to write and I realised the longer I do it, the less I could describe my feelings accurately at that point of time. Talking about an ailing memory.

Last night was a memorable night for me. I decided to turn in early at 2100 hrs because Albany refused to sleep when we put her in the cot around her usual bed time an hour earlier. I decided that it was one of those occasional days where she was too active to sleep. My decision to leave my computer and head for bed early was probably the best thing that happened for ages.

Albany has a knack of imitating me more than Jen, despite her spending all of her time with Jen everyday. At first I didn't notice it. Then I thought it was a coincidence. Then it happened again and again until I couldn't ignore the fact. When I made mock farting sounds, Albany would stop whatever she was doing for a few seconds, stuck her tongue slightly and did the same.

She wailed in her cot last night so I took her to our bed and sat her down. She began to wave her arms and started reaching out for things. I knew she was still in a play mood so I sang some songs to her to hype the atmosphere up. Almost predictably, she chuckled and burst into laughter after a while. Jen's made a mock angry face at her husband and daughter. It was clear who is the in charge of the disciplinary department in our family by now.

In the semi-darkness, we hugged and rolled about. At times Albany would gave out some annoyed whines when I did something she didn't like, such as wiping dirt off her nose. When Jen finally shrugged off her stance and joined us, Albany was delighted and flapped her arms frantically.

Then it happened, in the crisp silent Spring night, she muttered, "Deh, deh."

I thought was dreaming when I heard her whispering the same words two morning ago. By now, we knew it wasn't. Jen and I heard it together.  I had been trying to get her to repeat them over the past 2 days in vain, by repeating the words, "Da Da" to her. This time, I heard it loud and clear and understood. I moved my face close to her from behind and said, "Deh .... deh. Deh ... there." Hey presto, Albany repeated them, not once but several times. I was ecstatic, grabbed her and laughed. She squealed with delighted. Jen's face went thunderously black.

"Why aren't you thrilled?" I quizzed.

"Jealous," she said.

I laughed and reasoned out that Albany wasn't calling me and reminded her I had been teaching her how to say, "Papa" all these while. She was probably making her first word-sounding communication randomly. Besides, "Deh Deh" sounds quite far apart from even Daddy to me.

Earlier on, we had a group hug. Albany was confused but I could feel she was contented. Fortunately I got to experience this right the first time for my first child. It was magical. I wouldn't imagine I would gush over things like that a few months ago. I guess every guy has his time when it comes. I cannot help but assume I would be working at the very same time or driving back from work at best and would miss this entirely should I decided to postpone our migration because of Jen's pregnancy. Just maybe. It may be a careless assumption, but being home at 1700 hrs most of the days really help heaps where family life is concerned. That is probably hard to dispute. Moving over to a strange new place is never a bed of roses. The blog makes no attempt to paint it this way. I record my fears, loneliness and misfortunes openly here. For little things that made me feel the pains of migration is worth it, this would be one of them.

Albany and 'boss'