Wedding and Marriage

I never enjoy attending weddings. In all honesty, I did not even enjoy attending own and wished it would end before it started. Amusingly, the groom told me he wished he had a time machine to skip a day, which essentially mean the same thing. Some women may think that is an extremely mean thing to say and question the love of the groom for the bride but of course they are wrong. The more a man hates a wedding, the more convincing a display of love by turning up. Simple as.

The reasons why I hate attending weddings are the endless ironies I cannot help but notice. I was criticized for my choice of a seemingly over-simplified wedding and my beautiful van as my wedding car. As a result of my decisions, it would be inevitable that I would be viewed disrespectful of the true meaning of a wedding, as well as woman I would be taking as my wife and her family.

So. What holds the true meaning of a wedding?

A wedding that is thrown in a fashion solely for the purpose of pleasing the elders?

A couple who gets into financial debt to hold their dream weddings?

A wedding that ends with ripping off money from red packets as the first task in the hotel room?

A couple gleefully celebrating a "profit" of their wedding event?

A couple cursing their friends or relative for "under paying"?

A couple quarreling over complicated wedding arrangements?

A wedding that the newly weds ended up relieved it was over instead of enjoying the day?

What really holds the true meaning of a wedding?

A simple modest wedding tells me not that the couple disrespect the of a wedding. It tells me that the couple has plans for their marriage and prioritize prudence for their future. It tells me that the couple chose the day to announce their sacred commitment to each other to only the people who mattered, not half arse related acquaintances or complete strangers. Nothing more, nothing less.

The problem with our Singaporean (Chinese) community is that many of us can not differentiate between a wedding and a marriage. Many mistakenly regard a wedding as a crystal ball to the marriage. I.e. a grand wedding equates to an everlasting, blissful marriage. That is so far from the truth. You don't have to look very far from your own circle of friends and you'll see why I'm right. Thus it never fail to boggle my mind why elders continue to insist on a face worthy wedding that does not concern that the slightest or couples adamant to plan a fairy tale wedding with a price tag to match?  Despite the obviously flawed notion that marriage equates to legal, socially acceptable sex, fucking the brains out of each other right after the wedding is still more convincing for me as a good start to a marriage than counting money with knitted brows on the hotel bed.

As far as a wedding is being concerned, I will believe the opposite of whatever the marketers are saying. If a woman believe she should splurge for her wedding because it is "once in a lifetime" then she better wish she will not be treated nicely only twice a year, on her birthday and wedding anniversary, with the rest of the year utter shit. Of course that wouldn't happen. The wedding has no true bearing on the marriage. Exactly. "Everlasting love" can be bought and given in the form of a hard rock. Sure, if you are into diamond studded dildos.







  1. Most of the time the parents wants it. If I could choose, I would just want to ROM n a lunch with close friends n relatives. Than go for honeymoon. I believe it's many ladies dream to have a wedding where she is like a princess.
    If your budget allows u than its ok. But really 1 yr before u have to start preparing just for that few hours. It's more like a show.... out of the 20 tables....I only know 5 table ppl.

    1. > If I could choose, I would just want to ROM n a lunch with close friends n relatives.

      My hubby and I did precisely that... lunch at a simple restaurant near our home; ROM and pre-lunch & post-lunch reception all at our living room (with chairs and decor mostly gifts or borrowed from friends). We only had about 30 in the entire wedding entourage -- almost everyone of our guest was assigned a task at our wedding. Total cost, around CAD3K, which meant we could save quickly for a good down-payment to our own apartment.