The Secrets Behind Lim Swee Say's Message

"Many restaurants give you toothpicks, but the toothpick is so big it can never go through, but this one is so fine that whatever is inside sure can come out," he said on Monday.

In fact, he revealed with a laugh, the Din Tai Fung toothpicks are so good, he "can never resist" - he always takes half a box of them during each visit.

So says the article by Amelia Tan [link] from Straits Times, the bearer of right news. I bled my eyes as a sacrifice by reading the article over twice. Mean feat, I deserved to be knighted just for that. Are SPH hard up to use up precious space in their newspaper? Can't they insert more ceiling cleaning articles or something? This might be an indicator I should sell up my SPH shares.

My beloved primary school English teacher Miss Ong used to grind us through reading newspaper articles like that and writing our thoughts on them. I didn't even know where to start. Normally I could pick up any sort of propaganda by running my Bullshit Detector V1.4 software over the article but it failed me badly for the first time today. What was the message that Amelia Tan encrypted in her article? She must be a master in this trade. I'd love to meet her up for a cup of coffee during my return to Singapore soon.

Is this one of those clever advertising ideas by our creative gurus? Viral advertising or something, is that what they call it? I'm sure Din Tai Fung will get plenty of business after this. They might even put up Lim Swee Say digging his cavity with their perfect toothpick as their poster boy. I'm sure that will boost the appetite of the silent majority who dine there, going by the fact how much they enjoy Nasi Lemak, Chikus, Abalone porridge and other whatnots.

Or is that a hint that Singapore are rejuvenating our manufacturing sector to bring it back to its glorious past. We are going to mass produce quality tooth picks for a start. I'm sure there is a masterplan for these grand scheme of things. What do I know? It will be called Integrated Construct or something.

Or is this another annual haolian show by Lim Swee Say who previously told us he felt rich just by looking at his CPF account. Yeah he can afford to eat at Din Tai Fung every meal, he doesn't belong to that group that Three-Meals-Vivian was unwilling to help out. We know that already. Or is Lim Swee Say trying to tell Singaporeans his dentures are very well maintain with gaps so tiny that no common toothpick can go through. Let's hope this story is not a build up to the main point in an upcoming article that he only paid $8 to get his teeth perfect and so can all Singaporeans.

"They always serve in a pack," he told reporters at BreadTalk Group's new headquarters in Tai Seng. "And because I go there very early - 10.30 in the morning - always full right. And guess what? By the time I left, normally right, it's half left. The other half is in my pocket." - Labour Chief Lim Swee Say, July 2013

I'm really not sure what Lim Swee Say should be doing at Din Tai Fung at 1030 hrs in the morning where he should be knitting his brows over worker's rights and welfare in his office. He should be doing that too regularly to know that it was always full. Perhaps our labour chief is finally relaxing on his "Cheaper, Better, Faster" motto and was hinting to Singaporeans that there should be a work/life balance so that Singaporeans can find meaning in living, such as having breakfast with friends at 10.30 am and report to work after that.

Maybe it isn't quite right thing to tell Singaporeans that snitching accessories from eateries is a good thing to do, even if they are of an irresistible world class standard. I'm not sure about that bro. So. What did Amelia Tan tell Singaporeans what her article was all about?

"Sucess never happens by chance," he said

Sure, Mr Lim Swee Say. We can see that. Very clearly.


  1. Now I won't feel guilty to take a few more pieces of servietts from mcdonald's.

    SG Girl

  2. It was much harder for the reporter to write as she cannot afford to displease her political masters.

    3-meal Vivian can pre-empt further calls for increase to the allowance for those on public assistance by bundling the toothpicks with the monthly payouts. If they can't afford the meals served at restaurants, they can still do their pickings with a world class implement and it will at least save them the bus fares for dentist visits.

  3. Okay I took away a whole box, after reading what our Union, sorry supermarket chain chief had to say. I even told the staff that I was motivated by him to do so.

  4. "I'm really not sure what Lim Swee Say should be doing at Din Tai Fung at 1030 hrs in the morning..."

    With rare talents like him at the PMO, one more mystery - their limited success at fixing the opposition - solved.