The Most Challenging Quarter In My Life

I would be lying if I said I enjoyed staying with my mother-in-law. She epitomised the bane of whatever values I held of deep importance to myself. Freedom was of course on top of the list. Peace was the next. I was convinced tactfulness, wisdom and considerateness did not come naturally with age. It was never a given, you either developed these or you didn't.

I had no one to voice my unhappiness these days anymore. I didn't have friends to hang out with to hear my grouses. I didn't even want to tell Jen about how I felt, though eventually she would read this. I knew she would be sad reading these. I didn't want her to get into trouble siding me, but at the same time I felt terrible to be in such a situation. I could see Jen was happy to be reunited with her mum and that was important to me. On this rare occasion, I wish my blog does not have a single reader. I just need to talk, badly, but I don't wish for anyone to hear these.

A Chinese saying goes, "It's easy to get along, but difficult to live together." I couldn't agree more. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I don't think I'm that difficult to get along with. I have a good endurance when it comes to patience testing. I'm those who remained quiet and saintful for a very long time until the limit is triggered and when it happens it's never pretty. I can't imagine I'm thinking of such things after a day. I fear the worst, to be honest.

This pregnancy wasn't an easy one for me. I had been plagued with worries from start till now. From the multiple scares from KK hospital which still lingered like a curse in my mind, the migration, jobs, housing and now, the mother-in-law. I thought the ending would be beautiful. After toiling through these, I feel eager to meet Albany and hold her in my arms - minus constant nagging in my ears.

The next 3 months will be mental hell for me. Multiple changes, the intense heat coming as Summer peaks. Sometimes a guy yearns to be loved too, instead of being endlessly picked on constantly from dawn to dusk.

I wish my mother is here.


  1. Hey, cheer up! Blood is thicker than water. The fact that yr MIL is here to help both of you during this period shows that she cares and loves both of you. Be patient, tolerant and be nice. There will certainly be times when yr ways are not her ways but i do believe she has a good heart and wants the best for the 2+1 of you. dont dwell on what was said in the past, said in moments of anger..think about the joy of Albany and that is all that matters.

  2. Yes, couldn't agree more what Jt said.

  3. @jt. Not some. It's every fucking little thing i do, right down to details. I dun think i could take it much longer. I dun feel the 'love' n 'care' that u r refering to, n i know what you r refering to but it's nothing like that, just thorns. It's no coincidence her other son in law cant stand it too.

    I guess no one can understand what im going thru. This sucks.

  4. Yup. Living together is different from getting along. Both parties have to get used of habits in their daily lives.

    Cheer up! Hang out with some friends if need be :)

  5. I think you will have to learn to ignore the things she says and does.. "left ear in right ear out". it takes practise but you'll master it eventually. i did, so you could too.

  6. hey bro, I can understand yr frustrations, rem I also have one crazy one to handle (oops jen don't mean to relate and criticize yr mom to my MIL). Well, why do they regard IL as half parents, coz they just can't be as good as our own parents and usually vice versa! Use this as a reminder everytime you feel shity, it helps me feel better. You should also feel good about yourself because we've the greatest mom that can ALSO be the best MIL in the world. I'm sure Jen agrees to that. You've given and will be giving happiness to her daughter, that's all matters. If you can't get any in return (I have leant not to expect any), don't despair. You can do well without, as long as you know your wife and family loves you. For this quarter, it's a test but it'll pass eventually. What is impt is not to let silly issues affect husband and wife. Bitter first, sweetness in the end ok. Mom looks fwd to retirement and finally enjoy life with mommy's boy (sigh, hate to say you're one LOL)

  7. hang on!
    sometimes u jus have to turn a deaf ear to it..

    i tot DIL are usually the one having probs with the MIL..
    well, i guess ur case is exceptional...


  8. My mother stays w me. Life is not easy as well. Sometimes we jus have to shut down our whole person to prevent the negativity of the other person from destroying us totally. N learning n choosing to see the good helps, even though it is v v v tough. Women need to know tt they r validated and appreciated n sometimes they do tt by putting pple down. My grandma was like tt. My mom uses emo-blackmail. I learnt how to deal n live w that. And I teach my husband how to do the same.

    Good luck n all the best!

    EL See

  9. @Lionel: I don't have friends, other than Patrick, the Singaporean I knew in Perth. Quite sad to be honest.

    @Peck: *bows to the master*

    @sister: i'm lucky that this only last 3 months. You've suffered longer yet i'm the one whining. i should learn more from you.

    @Julia: Jen and my mother get along really well. I'm also easy to get along with, no? but if someone wants to pick on every nitty gritty things, i can't remain saint all the time. there is bound to be stuff i can't bear with.

    @El See: *bows to another grandmistress* i'll buy you a beer if we ever get to meet up