When I Was Told I Have Cancer

I have memberships of many clubs. The married man club, the daddy club, the overseas Singaporean club, the Jack Russell Terriers lovers club... I can't list them all. These are pretty fun clubs to join, if I may say so. Then there is a particular club I did not choose to join. It chose me. Its club membership fees are hefty and I have to pay them in my entire lifetime. Worst, it was one of those, "You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave," club. That is the Cancer Club.

I wouldn't relish saying, "Welcome to the club," to anyone. Anyone at all.

The scariest thing being told I have cancer was not thoughts of death. Death comes to everyone. Sometimes expectedly, sometimes not. It was a devastating moment because I knew it was a life changing malediction. It wouldn't only affect me but my family as well because we would need to make major changes to our lifestyle as well as future plans. At that moment, I realised I didn't have a soul. I was a soul and what I had was the body. The body that betrayed me with a reason, after I subjected it to some substantial abuse that I couldn't define in clarity. A wrong that I couldn't right. No one knew the reason behind the mutiny of my own cells. Thus, no one knew exactly how to restore it either.

It didn't help much when people told me there were many cancer survivors. There were many cancer casualties too, a much higher count in fact. Each positive vibe also serves to remind me of my membership in the exclusive club against my own will. Wait I am not against positive thinking, in case I get arrows coming my way again. Besides negativity isn't always ... well negative. Heard of negative ions? 

The purpose of positive thinking is not to wish cancer away. As far as I know, there has been no victories achieved by mere positive thinking alone. Instead it functions to boost morale and fortify the belief that the battle can be won. Beyond the beliefs, the ultimate key of winning still remains in exploiting the weaknesses of the enemy and destroying them by feasible means. The fear of a cancer patient lies here. Nobody knows the how to beat the cancer cells and keep them permanently at bay. Modern treatments such as surgery destroy the minions, not the source of trouble. Suppression is not a cure. Neither is it better than prevention which alas, is pointless hindsight wisdom now.

The trial and error begins. Science experiments are carried out, with your body as the cauldron. Both the GP and urologist remained tight lipped about natural methodologies outside their scope. There isn't a way to tell from myths and facts on the internet. Everyone has a formula to concoct the potion that turns lead to gold. Well if it doesn't work, we can always blame it on negative thinking ...... or doubts, or stubbornness, or bad luck or Hades wants me to blog for him, whatever.

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