My Life is Better than Mr Lee Hsien Loong

I'm always being told to 'learn to be positive'. I've always been told I'm 'negative'.

My good friend Aku for example, always recite the quote, "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it." It sounds cool and sexy just like him. Nevertheless in short, it means "Learn to be positive" as well. 

Well, let the truth be known. I know how to be positive but I choose not to be. I have reasonable reasons. They shall however, be revealed another day, another post. In the mean time, I will demonstrate I can be positive and in fact I'm really good at it.

Be Positive Lesson 1 - Compare yourself with the more privileged to make yourself feel happier
I'll choose Mr Lee Hsien Loong, the Prime Minster and the most important man in Singapore. Surely there can't be a better choice? Here goes.

1. PM Lee may be richer than me, but he can't buy that Porsche and bualonglong drive it across West Coast Highway at night like I did with my Renault Kangoo with windows down singing "Civil War" on top of my lungs.

2. PM Lee may have many powerful friends, but he can't visit his friends as and when he likes. I can knock on my friends' door and shout, "Mai PCC liao, kwee men!"

3. PM Lee may be a powerful man, but he needs bodyguards. Thus, I'm more powerful. I don't.

4. PM Lee may own many beautiful properties but he can't show it off. I can spam the pictures of my HDB flat on Facebook.

5. PM Lee may have distinguished elites as his neighbours but none of them is a chiobu like MY neighbour in Singapore.

Be Positive Lesson 2 - Compare yourself with the less privileged to make yourself feel happier
I'll choose Mr Lee Hsien Loong again. The Prime Minister and the most important man in Singapore. I'm more privileged than PM Lee, no freaking way? Read on:

1. I told my dad to "Diam la!" and got away with it - many times.

2. PM Lee came to Perth to say 'Hi!' to the Queen a couple of weeks ago and went home. I get to stay.

3. My mum was encouraging and said 'Nice!' to every girl I brought home.

4. I don't have to say 'Sorry' in front of folks in Boat Quay.

5. No one dares to serve me Mee Siam with hums, ever - and I don't even have to say a thing.

Be Positive Lesson 3 - Compare "Apple to Apple" and feel good about it
I'll choose Mr Lee Hsien Loong yet again. No way my "apples" is better than his? Not if you are a positive thinker.

1. I pay less tax.

2. I look better than him.

3. My childhood nickname is "Monkey". His adult nickname is 'Clown Prince'.

4. I wear pink only on my wedding day. He has to wear pink way too often.

5. My wife is Jen, his wife is Ho Ching.

There.

After thinking positively, my ego is super inflated. I'm officially better than Mr Lee Hsien Loong, Prime Minister and the most important man of Singapore. I think I can take over the world now.

Just for jest. Wish everyone a lighthearted weekend.

13 comments:

  1. Never realise that you are so positive! I shoould compare myself to my PM then :D

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  2. So funny...i see le i WANT TO LAUGH...

    ah pooh

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  3. @ellis: hmmm.. keke. just jesting around la, dun take it seriously :)

    @ah pooh: want to laff, laff la muahaha

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  4. LOL~!! *thumbs up*

    -Julia

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  5. hahaahhahai laugh very loud....

    ah pooh

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  6. @ellis: of cos u are. you lady boss leh :P

    @ Julia: LOL. when i see your name i can only think of 'LOL'

    @ ah pooh: why aku go to taiwan nv talk to me liao :D

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  7. haha funny! i posted on my fb!

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  8. "My wife is Jen, his wife is Ho Ching".----That is hilarious. Lol~

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  9. Hahahaha so funny I like

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  10. I love this. Actually, I've been thinking this way all the while. Just didn't have the courage to blog about it. Wait somebody jealous.

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  11. @Chan JY : im sure your version is better. Let's see it

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