A Singaporean In Australia

I felt sorry that Jen had to lobby a campaign for my approval to buy a $55 Ikea cabinet so I granted the approval. So she got Judy to grab one since she was going that way with Jo one morning.

Today was designated to be a busy day. I made breakfast for them, installed the cabinet on top of the laundry sink, did an engine oil and filter change for Ugly Green and took her out to the nearby kiosk to fill her tyres and then I finally get my lazy ass to finish the final part of the paving right to the end of the side gate.

Wife was very happy. She already half-filled the new cabinet on the wall with poison and cleaning stuff. "The other side of the wall is for a future dryer," she explained when I asked her why she chose to fill only one part of the wall instead of opting for my storage. I glupped.

The paving job didn't go as happily as I preferred. After the first load of sand, I decided to pump the tyre of the wheelbarrow up a little. I might as well, since I have an air pump with me.

I wouldn't call paving a backbreaking task. Ok, it wasn't the easiest thing to do. It was dusty, heavy and could get frustrating at times. However the pace I set myself was manageable. It had to be slow, lest I burn myself out. There may be some some additional work I will do in other areas later on that involves paving but for now, the main scope related to paving is finally over. I must tidy up the tools and equipment in the garage soon. It has turned out to be a store room that it isn't meant to be. I will have to address that as soon as I can.

Why do we sleep early in Perth?

Because we can.

Yesterday I made a casual remark about the traffic being more manageable in Perth lately. My accountant was surprised and thought he was the only one who felt that. I told him that wasn't a feeling. Along with the downturn, the economic mercenaries have fled back to the east. They had no love for Perth even the money was here so everyone is happy to see the end of one another. I, for one, am ecstatic. Seriously, I don't give a fuck about the economy. When I was in Singapore, I fervently prayed for the economic downturn that didn't come. So what if we had growth? Did I manage to find a job or get an interview in the entire 2008? Did the good economy do me any good? At least a bad economy quieten things down a bit, so I can sleep better.

A few months ago, I had the opportunity to return to the purple company to do another round of odd job for Agent YY.  Prior to that, I had the privilege to paint their feature wall in the reception room. It was a straightforward job. Buy paint, go to purple company, paint that wall behind the counter purple and go home. 

I wouldn't say it was easy money. I mean ... the pay out was quite decent but the experience was nerve wrecking because it was my first assignment as an individual and it was a commercial client. I had to tried my best to look like a painter that morning. Arriving on site, in a Honda Jazz, with painting material and equipment at the boot wearing track pants, hand socks and a beanie, I looked nothing like one. I was even on time!

I was polite but still managed to give a nonchalant attitude as if I had done painting all my life and knew exactly what I was doing. The truth was, my only painting experience in Perth was painting Savvy Steve's house. My foremost focus was protection. The carpets, the adjacent walls, the ceilings ... one single touch of my fiery purple coated paintbrush would mean a hour staying behind to save the mess. Anyway, the job was eventually done to my expectations but I wasn't that confident. I turned up the following Monday after work to pretend to be a customer just to look at my paintwork. It wasn't too bad! Looks like purple company got value for money. I turned out to be damn good.

The second assignment came several months later, doing a completely different scope. I took the opportunity to touch the purple wall I painted. It still looked great to me. I was proud of my work. I wouldn't call myself a good painter. Far from it. I wouldn't even call myself a painter. However, I think I can do the job when I'm required to.

Today a chap sent me a text asking me if the quotation I offered was still valid. It was the quotation Steph asked me to give to paint the entire interior of a house. Though I am confident to paint a house properly, I'm not so sure when it comes to a much bigger house .... all by myself ... within a certain time frame. I shrugged and gave a quotation anyway and forgot about it.

"Yes," I replied. "When you are expecting an handover?"

"Mid May," he replied.

Was that a confirmation of my service? If so, can I really deliver what I promise? I certainly hope so. If so, perhaps I will earn enough money to fly back to Singapore in July after I give Steph a treat. lol.

I'll wait till May and see what happens.

Mummy J: "Can write a post on your blog to share for potential home buyers? Is it a complicated n expensive process to buy as a PR?"

Houses are expensive in Australia and they are there is no difference in price for PR or Citizens. However most of the houses are green titled, i.e freehold. Not a fucking 99-year leasehold that vaporizes into thin air after the lease.

The process is straightforward. Follow the flowchart on the left I created. (Click to expand)

Notes:

Mortgage broker

Someone who hunt for the best bank deals for you.

Pre-Approval

Basically your house hunting budget, because that is basically what the bank is willing to lend you.

Settlement Agent

You can call it conveyance agent, conveyance lawyer, or simply Lee and Lee if you are a brainwashed Singaporean. Here they are commonly known as settlement agents.

Tips: 

It's a buyers market at the moment in Perth, but probably not elsewhere. If you are in Perth, remember to bargain. 

You can request for things to be fixed with the price agreed for. If the owner agrees, make sure they are fixed during the handover inspection. Do not sign on anything if any faults are not fixed.

If you are not good in house inspection, get someone with a keen eye or a professional building inspector to do the work.

Do not just look through the house. Check and make sure all services are working.

Find something closer to what you want and minimise excessive renovation due to high cost and long lead time.

Avoid putting in an offer if you are unsure with the mentality of "booking" the place.

Anymore questions, feel free to ask.

Hi Danny

Hmm.... I don't know where to start.

I'm not sure how many of us out there keep an option or two to fall back on when we get married. You know.... lest the marriage didn't work out. In some ways, migration is like getting married. You don't always know exactly what you are in for, despite having to do as much "research" as possible before committing.

Look, I'm not implying having something to fall back on isn't a good thing. A contingency is good but my advice is, if you were to migrate, do it as though you do not have back up even if you do. Do it with the correct mentality or don't start. Otherwise your Plan B will always be a tempting option whenever a hurdle comes along. And there will be hurdles, trust me on that.

If you have committed to a 99 year lease, I wouldn't recommend giving it up and getting your down payment forfeited. Never let the HDB or any other government agency take your money. They have to work for it. Money is better thrown in Bedok Reservoir to create a satisfying 'plop' than handing it over to an agency for nothing.

The situation is clear cut for me. While waiting for your BTO to be completed, spend these 3 years figuring how you are going to migrate. You mentioned the solid plans but did not elaborate. So I'm not sure where you stand. Do your research and make sure one of you are qualified and will be able to perform a successful application. Tip: No one said you have to do the application only after the BTO MOP is up. Save up as much money as you can within these 3 years.

I doubt either of you will be eligible to apply for the PR within these 3 years yet (again, I wasn't provided details) but may be from the 3rd - 8th year (during your MOP). It'll take time to get your application done up and there is always a waiting period (depends on your occupations). By the time you get your PR, your MOP may be already up. Sell up, rent out, do whatever you want. If you get your PR before the MOP is up, you can always move to Australia first to look for a job and bring the wife over when its done. By then you will have spare CPF in the CPF account to service your loan for a few months until the MOP is over.

What do we have here?

1.4kg of chicken breast. Today I am going to further slice the flesh to marinate and bread them. Then I'll freeze them and use them for meals this week. After doing the deed, my cost breakdown as follow:

I managed to slice the 4 huge chicken breasts to 12 thinner slices. They cost me $12.63.

I used half a bag of bread crumbs that cost me $3.

3 small eggs around $0.60

A bit of flour, soy sauce. salt, herbs (quite negligible)

Therefore, $14.73 / 12 = $1.23 per Schnitzel. Despite what the picture shows, one piece was actually quite big, but I compressed it so that I can squeeze them into the package to freeze them. I believe 1 piece + rice is adequate for an average Singaporean stomach. Can't say the say for the fat asses but too bad for you guys. Higher cc = higher expenses, bo bian.

Therefore, despite what they claim, it is possible to have a low cost meal in Perth. Says who? 1 slice of this is $1.23. You can deep fry, lightly pan fry or cook them in an oven. A well prepared slice, chopped into smaller slices + some salad + an egg on rice cannot cost more than $2.00 in total. That does not pale in comparison to a standard chicken rice portion in Singapore in terms of price, nutrition, taste and value. 

Does it take a long time to prepare? It took me 1 hour from slicing, coating, breading and storage. During cooking day, it should take more than 15 minutes to fry them up. I think some folks have no patience for this. To me, it's alright. I get to decide how to season my chicken, what to add to my bread crumbs and exclude whatever harmful chemicals used commercially. 1 hour is a reasonable amount of time for those benefits.



Edit: Panfried these, didn't turn out too bad

The owner was a proud farmer who has been cultivating the land for 40 years. He told me he made a million dollars as an electrician in his twenties and bought his first piece of land here to start his farming business. He emphasized back in his days, sparkies were paid the lowest among the tradesman in Australia as opposed to the situation it is today. If so, how he made his million from his trade, I'll never know. Through the 40 decades, he bought another 4 plots of land in the region and grew his citrus business into what it is today, a notable name in Perth.

He told me his farm was considered a boutique farm in Australia terms. A hobby farm or a veggie patch as compared to the massive citrus farms much further north. He mentioned one of the biggest in WA is owned by a Singaporean or Malaysian and explained the differences about the farms owned by the big boys and his. 

First, the soil mechanics. The big farms up north are on sandy soil while his is on clayey soil, which gives him some advantages. The less draining soil enables him to water less frequently and retains favourable biological conditions in the soil better, resulting in very good quality of produce. According to him, that gives him a competitive edge because he does not have to sell his oranges at a low price to match the big boys. I cannot verify it because he does not have the books to show for it. However, he said he'll send it over by email.

Second, he claimed to be the only citrus farm in Perth that allows the public to pick fruits from his farm. Over the years, it gained a lot of popularity and publicity such that he gets a constant, growing base of customers. That is verified. 

Third, he has a couple of small side businesses within the core business, which is never a bad thing especially if it is profitable and do not get in the way of the daily business. He rents out a small pad for an astrology club for a token sum. He holds functions for groups about once a week on average, serving them meat and juice on a package. He rents the place out for fee for mountain biking groups about once a year and this enhanced business and publicity of his farm when attendees hang around and buy produce after the event. He does farm tours for visitors. The facility has a powerful juicing machine and sells 100% pure bottled juice to public. There are about 400 chickens running about free range and the organic are in demand. 500 sheep are kept to graze and provide meat for events.

Fourth, infrastructure appears to be in proper condition for any farming activities. 120,000L of water storage, plentiful rainfall in the valley, 5 unmetered boreholes without usage restriction, spring water never been used, piped water from a lake and river nearby. Reticulation is set up and running automatically. There is electricity from the grid and ADSL broadband. 

There are potential for growth in this farm. Farmstay is a possibility. An unused warehouse ready for new purposes. Their website was mediocre and can be reworked to bring it a lot more opportunities, such as a booking system for facilities and online ordering of produce. They do not have a Facebook page yet. There is room on the land for growing a different crop, though the owner insists they have been to busy coping with demand that they do not have time to explore new crops.

Unfortunately, without the books open, there is no way to conclude if this is a viable business to takeover. Even if the business is very profitable, I have highlighted a few important issues with this farm. The issues generally stems from the fact that the owner had 5 plots of land and is selling them plot by plot.

At the moment he has sold 2 plots of land. The new owner of the land is unable and unwilling to take care of the trees on his land. So an arrangement is made for the current farmer to pocket all the yield from the trees on the condition he pays the utilities, rates and take care of his land. If this business is bought over, what will be the arrangement ? Will the neighbour be willing to carry on the same arrangement with a new owner? Will the neighbour decide to come back and be a competitor? That needs to be ironed out.

Much as I like to attend my first protest in Perth, I have to give it a miss. Tomorrow I am going to put on a fucking jacket and head north. I was tasked by someone in Singapore to do a site visit for a farm he has intention to buy.... if the conditions are right. He asked me several times to run his farm for him when he acquires it. No one has offered me a job before. Previously, I had to wear clown suits and smile like a crazed abomination to beg for one. That is something new. It felt like a scam.

I was not alone feeling this way. I told Jo, Judy, Jen and Joy about it. Don't ask me why they happen to have names starting with the same letter. Obviously, skeptical questions followed. How can you blame us, given how unusual the situation is?

Who is he?

He has no experience in agriculture.

He has not yet live in Australia, let alone worked or run a business in Australia.

How sustainable is the work he offered?

How long can he keep you employed should the business be making losses?

He cannot possibly pay you more than your current job.

Why is he so sure you have the ability to run the place for him?

What is his motive?

Is he for real?

It is true, I know nothing much of this businessman. He claimed to be pretty well to do, my senior of my Alma Mater, his missus reads my blog and told him she found a tad weird like her husband. That was about it. For all I know, he could be a troll sending me around the place for the fun of it. Oddly enough, I find myself being interested enough in his quirks to find out about stuffs for him. Perhaps it is because there are many answers I always want that can be found by doing so. In a way, he has been opening doors for me to enter zones I never ventured before. That is the answer for those who asked me why I am doing stuff without getting paid - my curiosity gets fed.

As for other matters, I'll think about it when things get really ... real. In the meantime, I am learning something interesting. Though it is my dream to own a farm one day and being employed to run one wasn't quite what I hope to happen, I can't possibly get there on my own. So who knows where this will lead me? I don't have to commit to anything at the moment. 

In the meantime, I will bring along around 60 questions for a grueling session with the farm owner and real estate agent. I'll even wear a fucking jacking if I have to. Oh wait..... I don't have a fucking jacket.

There is a protest coming up this Saturday in Perth. A "Say no to McDonald's" protest in the town of Guildford. Residents are bent on stopping the building of a new McDonald's restaurant, which is currently at proposal stage.

If you tell this to the average Singaporean, he or she will probably ask, "Why?"

Why protest?

Why say no to McDonald's?

Why bother?

If you go to the Facebook group of this protest campaign, you will find only details on how to run this protest. There is no explanation whatsoever nor a list of reasons in one of the first few posts or the About page. It is as if the locals are sending a glaring message to this clueless Singaporean, "Do you even need to ask?"

It is interesting to note that when a right is taken away from us from the day we are born as Singaporeans, we grow up, in this case, without the instinct or the ability to attune to the grey world. We see the world as white and black, nothing quite in between. It is either something is legal or illegal, right or wrong. We do not have the sensitivity to appreciate values beyond dollars and cents. 

We lack the belief that an assiduous mass can create change, positive change. How many times have you heard Singaporeans speak in resignation? "[whatever] also no use, nothing will change." I believe it is exactly what they want us to think.

Over dinner with Judy and her guest, Rachel, I brought up the subject of protest and we agreed that protests are often painted very negatively in the Singapore media. It is often projected as violent, irrational and anti-society. That narrative does not tally with our personal experiences. The protests we witnessed, or even unconsciously took part in for Rachel's case, are often a peaceful affair or a vibrant gala at worse. Violent situations are far and a few between and it never fail to be grossly exaggerated by the MSM. In other cases, protests are portrayed as a leader beguiling the innocent with an evil plot he is hatching.

Protests work quite often. Grace got a pay raise after the nurses march. Sometimes they don't. ROE8 protesters failed to stop the Liberal government from signing the contract to go ahead with construction. However, their persistence hinted Labour to use that as part of their electoral promise and crushed Liberal in the recent state election. The new premier has taken steps to end the project before it starts. The only protest I witnessed in HK succeeded in rising minimum wage for workers. These are sides that is never reported to us and we are conditioned to believe protests are unproductive, ineffective and bad for the people.

With that, Singaporeans are eternally gagged and meek. Over time we lack the will to fight for ourselves, right the wrongs and place full faith in leaders to always have our welfare in mind. That is far more dangerous in my opinion, than the danger associated with protests. The fact that we have no voice whatsoever in parliament attest to the need or an alternative voice. A real voice, not the patronizing isolation of "legal protest" to Hong Lim Park, which stifles creativity, possibilities and the required impact to convey a message.

Am I attending this protest at Guildford? Sure, why not?

Over the years, I received emails from real people out there. Well, I would like to think they were real instead of a single chap who has been trolling me for 5 years. The reason why I have a dash of doubt is some of things I am asked can be so unreal.

I mean, if you plan to migrate to Sydney from Singapore, why do it at all? If you plan to migrate to Melbourne from Singapore, why write to a settler in Perth to ask how the job market is in Melbourne? If you plan to migrate to Perth, why would you ask me what I like about Perth?

Would you ask me what I like about my wife if you are planning to marry your girlfriend?

You may argue that asking about Perth as a common factor is valid but it isn't. Perth means a different thing to each individual. It can mean a refuge for me but living hell for you. What matters is you think and feel about the place. What does Perth means to you as a potential adopted home? If you want to know what I think about Perth, there are 5 years of opinions in this blog. Go read it if you have nothing better to do.

This is a post for new migrants trying to seek a source of income. Look - the reason behind my opener is to emphasize the idea of income. Sell your life for money. That is my definition. If you are seeking self actualisation nirvana achieving jobs, click X on the top right hand of the page and leave. I have no useful advice whatsoever to you. If I do, I will be actively pursuing it and I will not be a pissed poor peasant in Perth writing lame blogs.

Now the topic in proper: How to find your first casual job in Australia

The mentality:

If you think the job market or the economy is bad, go home. If you think local employers are racist and hire only whites, go home. If you think you will not be hired because you have no local experience, go home. Why bother to even come? I am neither confirming or refuting these claims because it does not matter. If you have so much space in your brain for these thoughts, your mentality is wrong. None of these thoughts are productive. It does nothing good for you. If you have so much time for these nonsense, try to think of ideas to find your job instead. Think. Think until your brain hurts.

The common avenues

LinkedIn, seek.com, Facebook groups, job agency and even Gumtree or whatever known job websites or groups out there - use it. Tell the world you are looking for jobs because you go to the jobs - not wait for them to come. If you play football, do you get the ball more often by waiting for the ball or running towards it?

Your jobscope as a jobless peasant

Looking for a job is your job and you are the boss. You have 8 hours to do your job. Spending 1 hour sending CVs to job leads and the rest of the day watching TV doesn't cut it for me. Will you work for 1 hour and rest for 7 at work? Unlikely because you can't finish clearing the work your boss flooded with you. So are you still unemployed now? If so, you have not finished your work, why the fuck are you playing with your mobile phone?

Get out there

If you have been sending your CVs religiously everyday, you will not be spending the rest of the 8 hours doing so because there is simply not enough new job leads everyday. If you have the send-and-forget approach, change it. List down every job you applied for in an excel sheet, sorting by the business type, position, resume and cover letter version link and contact number.

When you have finish sending resumes to new leads for the day, add them to the list and start calling the previous applications to (depending on the status of application) inform them of your interest, check the status or request for an interview. Strike off those you are rejected.

What do you do with the rest of the 8 hours? Get outside. Get to the malls, shops, businesses. There are vacancies in the groceries, marts or FnB businesses and they'll simply stick a piece of paper outside their joints to look for a casual worker instead of going through the trouble placing an ad. Only by getting out, you find these jobs. Despite the so call "bad economy", I saw a barber shop hiring the moment I got outside last weekend. What I would do is to watch Youtube videos and cut my wife's hair and go apply for that job. Fake it until I make it. Of course, that is not what YOU will do. That is why I get your job.

Hidden market

Make friends, tell everyone you are looking for a job, any job. If you say that, mean it and never reject a job when someone takes the trouble to refer you to one. Or that will be the first and last time he or she will bother. Never forget this. Word of mouth is a powerful means and it works in mysterious ways. Never fail to tap the hidden market that can be unlocked by word of mouth referral. Never let go for any opportunities. If you walk-in to a business and are told there is no vacancy, ask if they know anywhere else is hiring and drop your namecard to be contacted in future for any leads. You don't lose anything by doing so and have possibilities to gain.

Cold call

Do the walks everyday. Keep fit, mind sharp and focussed on your mission. Revisit the owners once in a while. A simple "Any luck?" will suffice. If you have completed your daily walks around your suburbs until the business owners can recognise your face and remember your name, spend the remaining of your 8 hours cold calling.

Cold calling reaches places much faster than you can physically achieve. Grab the directory and start calling. You will get rejected until you are numb. Once that happens, it does not hurt anymore and you'll gain traction and speed.

Never forget this is but a number game. If you are prepared to walk the talk, and work much harder than anyone else in the market to look for your first income, you'll win the game eventually.

Singapore states that home ownership in Singapore is about 90.9% in 2016. As 31 March 2015, statistics provided states that 82% of the resident population in Singapore lives in leased accommodation or what we commonly know as HDB flats. A simple breakdown tells us that 8.9% of the population, made up of wealthy Singaporeans and overseas investors, owns private property. The last 9.1% of the population do not own any form of property or lease agreements. We can add this 9.1% to the 82% of HDB flat owners to conclude that 91.1% of the resident population do not own a property.

Falsehoods

HDB flat owners are not owners. The document an owner signs is a 99 year leasehold tenancy agreement. What a HDB flat "owner" really owns is a right to reside in an apartment owned by the Government of Singapore. Acquiring a 5 year gym membership allows one the unlimited use of the gym in accordance to the gym rules and regulations but does he owns the gym? No. Thus, a gym member does not have the rights to move, add or remove fitness equipment. 

Though a HDB flat leaser has more flexibility with customising their flats, a leaser has to reinstate the structure of his or her flat to the original form if any alteration, such as hacking of walls, is done to the flat, if the leaser returns the flat to the landlord, which is the HDB. Should the leaser sells the flat to a buyer in the open market and the buyer accepts the structural changes of the house, no reinstatement is necessary as it is a simple case of another tenant taking over the existing lease of the previous.

Despite some flexibility a HDB flat lease holder enjoys, further evidence of tenancy include the lack of owner rights, such as non-financial related eligibility criteria, the prohibition of operating an Air Bnb, the right to customise external features and approval required from the landlord to sublet etc.

HDB flat owners are not home owners. It is clearly stated in official documents or websites this is a temporary leasehold arrangement. At 9.1% of private property ownership, Singapore has one of the lowest home ownership rates in the world, not among the highest as it claims.

The notion of selling a HDB flat

As stated earlier, the process of selling a HDB flat in the open market is actually a transfer an existing rental agreement one from tenant to the other. It is akin transferring a gym or country club membership. When a new tenant takes over a lease agreement, he or she takes over the remaining duration of the lease. Thus the value of the lease should not appreciate. In fact, it should be sold lower than its original base price like any transfer of ownership of a depreciating asset, with car lease transfer as an occasional exception - when COE value can potentially appreciate faster than the depreciation of the car itself. The closest resemblance of a variable mechanic like the COE is the cost of land. However, is the appreciation of land prices correctly reflected by the exponential appreciation of the hundreds of units sited on top of it? Think about it.

The biggest property bubble in history

In 2014, the Minister of MND confirmed the value of the flats will be zero at the end of their 99-year lease. Thus, if one is to purchase a lease agreement of a 50 year old flat with half of the lease remaining, the value of the transfer should never be higher than the original purchase price. Even if land appreciates 50 folds over 30 years, the total increase of land value should be divided by the number of units of the block, then pro-rated to the years of lease remaining. The sale of a HDB flat lease under such a situation should be near its original price, or 2- 3 times the original price at best, instead of appreciating 20, 30 folds we have witnessed over the past 3 decades. 

The government is trying to avert the biggest property bubble in history using SERS. However, as space runs out, it put further stress on HDB's race against time. What is going to happen when HDB fails to clear out a glut of HDB flats with a third of their lease remaining? Will Singaporeans continue to play daft by paying top dollar for these flats or be wary of being caught holding the ball when the music stops? If demand drops dramatically, how much will sellers be pressurized to drop their asking prices?

Conclusion

At around $800 - $1000 a month for a fresh 99 year lease of a BTO flat, HDB provides top class, affordable, rental public housing to the majority of the residents in Singapore. However, its continual insistence to cast the illusion of ownership on their consumers will only further aggravate the problem of their vastly overvalued fast depreciating assets. Meanwhile Singaporeans are paying their rental by emptying their retirement account. It will require the willingness of the government to recognise the problem and rally the nation to find and accept radical solutions together to advert a 99 year time bomb.

I was a bummer during my secondary school days. I went into a good class in QSTS with decent results in my PSLE. For unknown reasons, my school results nosedived from the first year all the way to Sec 4. Thinking back, I should be glad they allowed me to get there, for nothing in my report book each year showed I deserved to. Nothing much changed during Sec 4. I got a pass in English ... some C5 or something, a C6 in Chinese. The rest were pretty much strictly within the D7 - F9 grade. Out of curiosity, I added them up and saw my L1R5 much closer to my father's age than mine. I knew I was doomed for a Sec 4 repeat or ITE bound.

I have little to say about the quality of teachers during my Sec sch days. They say, if you have nothing nice to say, shut the gap so I will try to be nice. I don't think any of my classmates will disagree with my assessment. One teacher even told my buddy Uncle Wong, who was seated next to me in class, not to mingle too much with me because I would "drag him down." Thanks Uncle Wong for not listening to that bitch. But well, it goes to show what kind of student I was in my teachers' eyes.

Having said that, one teacher actually turned my fate around. My form teacher, Mr Aw was the classic nerd who was very good in his Physics but unfortunately we, or rather I, wasn't at a level to benefit from his expertise. I don't recall we ever talked. Not once. So, I was surprised when he called out to me in a class announcement one day to inform me he had selected me in the class to attend the Outward Bound School (OBS) course during the mid year. I didn't consider that as having a first conversation with Mr Aw. It was more like an instruction given to me. I nodded blankly to acknowledge his decision, not knowing what to expect.

So what the hell was OBS? I often wondered if it was a random or deliberate choice on Mr Aw's end to include me for the course. I'll never know. Whatever it was, that decision had a profound effect on me. Till the day I turned up at OBS, I remained skeptical. Instead of going camping, I should be studying for my 'O' Level, to increase whatever microscopic chance I had to make it out of secondary school 'alive'. I thought it was a dumping ground to send the crappy kids to, since the school had already budgeted for the course. However I saw bright kids with consistently good academic results from other classes joining me to represent our school in the course. What was that?! What was I doing there? I stood out like a sore thumb among the rest.

The details of the course remain vivid in my mind. There were too much to elaborate, I think I can write a short book just on that. Just by recalling this little part of my memory, I have the temptation to write about my entire secondary school life. I doubt anyone will really be interested so we'll fuck that for now. Back to the OBS, I probably did more things the first time in my life within that few days than any other period of my life. I learnt a lot and I met all kinds of strange people. Fast forward to life after the course, I bucked up, studied hard for that final few months and somehow cleared my 'O' Levels.

One of the things I learnt there was basic camp craft. Well the reason why OBS came back to my mind all of the sudden was that I was 'arrowed' by my MIL to create some kind of rack of her plants. My initial idea all along was using carpentry to solve her problems, until the morning when I was supposed to turn up. I changed my mind and decided to go back to basics. 

I bought some thin bamboo. They didn't cost that much, about $0.60 per piece, measuring 1.8m long. I thought the costing was in the decent range. I bought a roll of jute twine for $6. Then I began to do bind one joint after another starting from a clove hitch and a couple more combination of knots. That was how we tied much bigger PVC tubes together to form our raft during OBS and sailed it out to the sea. Our team's raft last the longest, before the rocking waves eventually took it down along with us.

"What the hell are we learning this shit for?" said one of the Ah Bengs from Christ Church Secondary School who was in my OBS team. I smiled at the recollection as I worked hard on my knots. Sometimes in life, you really never know.

I didn't note how long it took me but I ended up with a stable structure for MIL's passion fruit plant. She told me the structure was needed as a foundation to her future addition of twigs and shit to allow the passion fruit vines to hold on to. I shook my work to show her how stable it was. With 4 columns pegged to the ground, joints firm with a bit of cross bracing, that would 

stand its ground during strong wind.

My 'customer' also requested for something that could support her cherry tree, as well as something that could support some sun shade to create a green house effect to protect the cherry tree from the strong Australian sunlight. So I created a pyramid base and a simple gazebo shaped skeleton for her to clip her netting. The two structure were bind to each other, to enhance stability. The structure and tree will eventually end up supporting each other until the tree matures.

I ended up with a small blister on one finger due to rope burn. Jute is a really rough material. I was amazed with what a few thin bamboo sticks and some twine could create. Given enough material and time, I could build a house with rope and joints. but using much sturdier truss or space frames for higher strength. Really, if only the world hasn't advance to this bastardy state where human beings need approval to build their own home. This fucking shit isn't rocket science. Even pigs can build houses made of bricks. 

Was it a few years ago that email conversation took place? Which movie did he mention? My memory is failing me as I age. All the more it pushes me on to blog, lest one day my memory is no more and this leaves a trail behind for anyone who cares.

It was CK. It has to be because there is no one I know who hated life in Singapore... or perhaps... Singapore itself. I never figure out which exactly and I never figure out why. He described how he felt when he received news of the successful application of his NZ PR - like how the protagonist in the movie crawled through a long tunnel of shit to escape the walls that held him for nearly 20 years. Out of curiosity, I watched that movie, Shawshank Redemption, on a late Saturday night recently and was surprised how engaged I was throughout the movie. (I'm not the movie type of person)

I don't critic movies. It was a great one I'll recommend to anyone who hasn't watched it. The shit crawling scene CK likened himself to was definitely the peak of the movie. However, there was something else I picked up from the movie which resonated a lot with me. It was a quote Red, the narrator and the best friend of the protagonist in the movie. This was what he said of their prison, "

That was being quoted when a fellow prisoner was granted parole after spending 5 decades of his life in prison and could not adjust to his new life. Eventually, he took his life in the half-way house. It was noteworthy that when the old fellow received news of his parole, he actually seized another prisoner at knifepoint to get him imprisonment extended so that he could remain in his comfort zone. Later on Red experienced the same glaring discomforts of 'institutionalization' when he was granted his parole.

The idea of being 'institutionalize' is all too familiar for me. I wanted to get out of Singapore in my late 20s. There were Singaporeans who wrote to me and told me they wanted out since their early youth. No matter, even if you want to get out of Singapore right from the day you were born, you probably can't. Unless you are born with a silver spoon, you will need get yourself academically qualified in the eyes of the adopted country of your choice, get enough working experience in your nominated profession and most importantly of all, save enough to fill your war chest. Through these processes, you get institutionalized. 

I hated those walls. I got used to them and I did feel I depended on them. I nearly vanquished the thoughts of leaving altogether at one stage. It was frightening for me to even think about. Am I not surprised to hear how many Singaporeans will not leave Singapore even if they are granted PRs elsewhere? Many will swear they will get out in a heartbeat but trust me, most of them will freeze in their tracks when the opportunity becomes a reality. On day of departure, I had to conceal my tears from my wife. I was scared stiff about life outside my prison. I didn't scream in ecstasy like CK after making out of the shithole. In fact, I wanted to crawl back to the walls that both imprisoned and protected me.

Institutionalization. It nearly got me.

Dunno why Miss V sent me these pics. Ok, so .... Singaporeans poke at things and strip them. No, no. Don't start pointing fingers at the others. Our Prime Minister approved by 70% of us said Singaporeans commit more crimes than foreigners. Since the friendly remainders in NTUC were printed in English, the message is undoubtedly for us. Well, what is there to argue about? We do poke at things and strip them - way before our foreigners observe and emulate. Some of us wonder why Singapore has became a "fine city" over the years. Well once upon a time many of the "fine-able offences" were really just inconsiderate behavioral trends. In localspeak, we call it "buay zi dong" (not automatic), harmless until the authorities gave up exorcising the abject attitudes out of us and begin to make things illegal.

Only then, things are perceived to improve. I don't think the government really cares how effective each new law is. If it isn't but it is a revenue raising avenue, why not? Who knew that petty inconsiderate acts could become profitable after they are made into crimes. Genius. So these days in Singapore, throwing a scrap of paper in public places can cost you $1,000 - and it isn't even a winning lottery ticket you are unaware of. A convenient pee in the lift can come out with a bill of $500 if someone decided you are the lucky pick on the national surveillance network. Over the years, Singaporeans have somehow managed to abrogate their freedom of choice one after another by pushing their luck too far, eventually turning petty acts into legal offences. It is now illegal to sit near a railing somewhere, feed birds and not flush the toilet.

Being born in the late 70s, I heard a lot about the "Kampung spirit" among small local communities. Those days, people were said to look out for one another and a lot less inconsiderate towards the others. I might even have experienced the last essence of this camaraderie during my childhood days before it was completely vaporises by emerging cupidity of the people, as Singapore modernize. In its place, a soulless shell of a place they call paradise where signage have to be put up in air conditioned grocery shops to remind its first world people not to poke at fruits.

Singaporeans like to boast about our top rankings in education. Indeed, we have made the world sit up and notice about our science or mathematics scores in global level. It leaves a lot up to interpretation. How well do our Singaporean kids solve worldly problems with maths and science? Not quite well really. In the meantime, I have no doubt we will score top marks in moral education too, if it is being tested. Like the other subjects, Singaporean students are just too savvy and exam smart and know exactly which socially accepted answer is correct one in any circumstance. However, in practice, we score low on EQ or showing sensitivity and consideration towards the others, be it in local or overseas context, failing every possible test in the real world.

I do not do things for the sake of it.  For a half-dead, I do not have time to waste. My existence in this world is limited, o I do not relish playing a meaningless narcissistic role such as posting pictures of myself or my overseas holidays.

"But you blog! A whole site dedicated to yourself. Aren't you the biggest narcissist? You are being a hypocrite by criticising the Facebook princesses."

Absolute nonsense. Every blog post is an encapsulation of my learning or experiment. Be it a mistake, an observation, a skill learnt, a trial, a failure or success, it will be accounted meticulously with alacrity. Often, I include ambivalent events, leaving even room for my fatuous musings. It wasn't meant to confuse, though it often did, as I notice some of the posts being circulating around as if those are worth a hoot. Singaporeans in Australia moving back to Singapore in doves due to LKY's passing, anyone? You'll be surprised how many believed that fallacious April Fool's joke. Anyway, while many of my posts depicts an iconoclast's rants devoid of intelligence, they hold the wisdom of my mistakes. 

So what's the wisdom behind my motive to debone carcass of the poor chicken that landed on my kitchen? Well, I'm an advocate of home cooking. I think feeding oneself should be a task never to be outsourced, with few exceptions now and then. On the flip side, I do not believe we should be spending too much time devoted to cooking. Recent experiments with passive cooking convinced me delicious meals can be done at low cost and little time involved. Quick meals such as fried rice or noodles can be done with only a fraction of time taken to get down there to buy a meal from a hawker, debunking the myth that outsourced meals are cheaper and faster. 

With the future solar energy I can tap on, it'll bring down cost further by using electricity to cook. So instead of the usual stewing or stir frying of my chicken on a gas stove, I wanted to try baking a whole chicken boneless, without chopping them into pieces. Since I have removed every single bone, I have enough to make soup or stock. It doesn't make me rich but I don't see why I should waste throw the money into the bin. Did I take a long time to debone the chicken? Longer than I prefer but it can be reduced to mere minutes with practice. The juices that run from the chicken during baking will help make a great sauce. I can work on that for tonight's dinner. That'll feed 3 adults, 2 kids under $10.00.


Edit: didn't turn out too badly

All of you know Singaporeans are a dying breed. Don't go grand figury on me. Naturalised Singaporeans have nothing to do with this. While our birth rates have seen a negligible increase in the last couple of years, it is still way below 'replacement level.' In fact, even if you include naturalised Singaporeans into the equation, Singaporeans are going down the road of extinction.

Thank god.

I have to establish that first lest some knob tells me steep curve in overseas Singaporeans is a natural trend due to population increase. That cannot be further from the truth. I know most Singaporeans still think Singapore is heaven on earth but facts are facts. More Singaporeans have left paradise and remain out, for some strange reasons.

If you cannot figure it out, what you need to ask yourself is simply this: On what logic is there for the common Singaporean to live in the most expensive city in the world where their job opportunities are greatly reduced by fucked-in-the-arse FTAs and liberal leg widening immigration policies? Many overseas Singaporeans have opened the Pandora box, only to be cursed with a full spectrum of doubt and questions. 

Trust me, you will not want to touch that. For once you start asking the questions, your soul slowly leaks from your avatar of blissful ignorance. Why should I be chained to a spiked ball for 30 years for the illusion of owning an assembly of walls and windows in the air that cannot be pass down to my future generations? Why are so many unable to afford the payment of their prepaid rental house if they don't use funds from their CPF account to do so? How did we allow CPF policies to change to our disadvantage such that there is no logical way to optimise such a critical amount of our savings but to splash them into our shelter? Why do more have to pledge their habitat in order to fund their retirement due to a near-empty CPF account? Why do I have to fork out a six figure amount for a steel box with wheels when it costs 1/100th of that to get something that does the same job elsewhere? Why do I need to pay a toll to ease a congestion that doesn't? Why do I risk bankruptcy when a critical illness befalls me? Why is the suicide rate for youth increasing year on year? Why does it seem increasing impossible to run a family without a dual income? Why do everyone needs to send their children to tuition to fulfill education standards far beyond reason? Why do more feel a live-in maid is a critical function of a family unit? Why does it feel there are no viable alternative in choosing a voice to represent the cries of our hearts?

These questions will unlock one eventual big question. Is there life outside paradise? That is the point where dark paths appear in the shadows at places you have never noticed before. That is when the curious, foolish or the brave will begin to explore..... the possibilities of living and working elsewhere.... where the mind dares to dream.